Catriona wrote in the Heyer/Grand Sophy thread:
Sarah, can we do a thread on romances that we want to love, we should have loved, everybody else loves them…but that we can’t stand because something just left a bad taste in our mouths?
I like this idea for two reasons. No, three. First, we’ve done it before. But let’s do a new one. It’s been years.
Second: not enjoying a book that it seems like everyone loved or enjoyed can be an isolating experience, but as I’ve learned on the internet, you’re never alone in your likes and dislikes, no matter how outlandish they might seem. 0_o
And third: everyone’s buttons are different (woo, kinky!). What ticks me off may not bother you in the slightest, and vice versa. For example, and I’ve used this example before: there are many who are intensely bothered by historical inaccuracies in romances. I am not one of these people. The Duke can in fact drive a Porsche to Almack’s, and I’m fine with it. Whatever.
My hot button is stilted, unrealistic and awkward dialogue. If characters, like, for example, the Duke of Porsche, say things that real human beings wouldn’t say, and use cliches to the point that they don’t sound like actual people, I get really annoyed. Yanks me right out of the story and into Land of Crankypants. But the Porsche? Meh. Whatever.
I am not alone in that preference, but I do think that among romance readers, especially historical romance fans, I’m in the minority. And this is not to insult any author who busts her ass doing the research. Go on with your bad self – and your Porsche.
Catriona’s example is a bit more specific:
My example is As You Desire by Connie Brockway. Everybody is in love with this book and it always appears on people’s top romances list. I should love it – I enjoyed Brockway’s other books, I’m crazy about Egypt and archaeology and I love romances that are supposed to be funny and witty. It had everything going for it.
But I’m telling you, this book is like my own personal berserk button. To this day, I still can’t think about it or hear somebody sing its praises without my blood pressure spiking. My issue is with the way the author set up an “older” woman (I think she was in her early 30’s) to be the younger heroine’s foil. Basically, the older woman was rejected by the hero and pretty much every male in the book because she wasn’t as “perfect” as the seemingly smarter, blonder, younger heroine. I would expect this kind of ageism/blondeism in a book from the 1970’s, but this book was from 1997! This passage in particular, in which Marta, the other woman, sees the heroine at a restaurant, encompasses everything that bothers me about this book:
“I say,” Lord Ravenscroft suddenly breathed, “Now, there is a treasure worth coveting. Have you ever seen such a piece of tiny, golden perfection?”
…Marta followed the direction of everyone’s gaze to where Miss Carlisle’s progress through the room was marked by a wave of men scurrying to their feet as she passed.
To blatantly steal a phrase from you, Sarah: OH COME ON NOW AND I MEAN IT! Is this supposed to be a parody? Because it fails if it is. I ended up feeling whole lot more sympathy for Marta, while I wanted to bury Desdemona Carlisle headfirst in the sand. Normally the perfect, blonde, child prodigy, men-literally-fall-at-her-feet woman is the RIVAL, not the heroine.
Maybe I’m letting this bother me way too much…. But somewhere deep down, it grates on me that the heroine has to be this drop-dead gorgeous, “oh save me” frail young creature. I often wonder why people loved this book so much when I, who was much closer to Desdemona’s age when I read it, was so bothered by the discrimination against the older, more experienced, more capable other woman.
I got to wondering, is this just a case of me finding it difficult to relate to the heroine, and seeing myself as a rival to her to the hero? Nah, I thought Harry was an idiot too. His famous “you are my Egypt” speech just made me cringe. I would’ve heaved if anyone said anything so ridiculous to me, but apparently a lot of readers disagree judging by the links out there:
I fully expect the pitchforks and torches to come after me on this one, but bring it! Catriona “Encyclopedia Hittanica” is ready!
Ok, I’m about to come off even more objectionably: I have never read this book, but now I’m so very curious.
So, what’s your book that everyone adored, but you couldn’t enjoy it? You certainly don’t have to limit your example or response to this one. No shame and no shaming, please! Bring on your least liked books that made you feel the most isolated in your lack of enjoyment.
@JL
I was with Magic Bites the whole way through and then Curran got mad at Kate for leaving the Keep and pinned her to the wall by her throat. I mean, she got out of it alright but he didn’t apologize and no one really called him out for it. I felt kinda…weird after it and couldn’t enjoy when they kissed near the end of the books. It really rubbed me the wrong way.
That said, I loved the world built in Magic Bites and the new take on vampires and weres. There was just something about that scene that really upset me. More gut reaction than a real justifiable argument XD
@AllyJS,
I’m going to go back and re-read Magic Bites now. I’ve always appreciated that Kate actually had a healthy fear of Curran in the beginning instead of the “he’s so alpha I must tear my clothes off and have sexytimes” reaction that is so common in PNR/UF. But I may also be basing my opinions of their dynamic based on the entire series rather than the one book.
Thanks for your thoughts!
I read the first four in the Outlander series by Gabaldon but deeply regretted it. It was like slogging through cold mud and all I could think was ‘get thee an editor’.
I loved Sherrilyn Kenyon’s Dark Hunter series until ‘Dark of the Moon’. The only reason I didn’t throw that book against the wall was that it was a hardcover and it would have sounded like a shotgun going off. I hated the fact that my favorite Dark Hunter (Vane) couldn’t see how much pain his brother was in. I haven’t read a Kenyon book since.
I could never get into old-school historical authors like Kathleen Woodiwiss or Laura Kinsale. To me the writing was way too dense.
I got halfway through ‘Twilight’ and could only go ‘meh’. And also VAMPIRES DO NOT SPARKLE. Speaking of vampires, I read the first 3 books in the BDB series by J.R. Ward but my overall feelings were ‘meh’ and I haven’t read any more since.
One thing that really kind of spoils what can otherwise be a great book is where you have this fantastic story that’s got the hero and heroine stuck together like super-glue then the author contrives some reason to have the hero walk away from the heroine then show up weeks/months later and HEA. There was one book (can’t remember the title- I think it was a Silhouette Romantic Suspense) that damn near went flying into the wall because of this. 99.9% of the time this kind of ending really doesn’t work. And fewer and fewer of these books are making it to my keeper shelf even if the rest of the book was freaking awesome (along with a few that I will put down if I peek at the ending and read this).
I’ve never even tried to read Outlander. Just not interested.
DNF’d Zoe Archer’s book (whichever one it was I tried).
HATE HATE HATE Gone with the Wind.
Do real people actually read Danielle Steele? Seriously, who is her audience? Blech.
I can’t bring myself to read Tolkein. I enjoyed the movies, but not enough to slog my way through the books.
I enjoyed Kleypas’ historicals, but her contemporaries leave me cold.
Jude Devereaux’s Knight in Shining Armour was dreadful, and I haven’t read anything by her since.
Ditto for Linda Lael Miller’s vampire series.
Since I got my e-reader and the publishers started doing the Agency thing (and getting crazy with the geographical restrictions thing) I’ve kind of lost track of mainstream romance. A lot of the authors who were almost autobuys for me aren’t available to me electronically. A lot of newish authors who I might take a chance on aren’t available electronically. So I’m mostly buying and reading m/m romance, because that the best of what’s available.
@JL And maybe I will go try the next book in the series and give it another chance 🙂
Super-late to this party but I have to chime in on one fairly new author that everyone seems to wildly, passionately adore but I don’t quite get—-Meredith Duran. I’ve tried and tried and tried—read all but her very last book when I finally gave up. It’s not that I hated them or even disliked them, but honestly, I would never have even tried a second book (and definitely not more) if it wasn’t for the fact that all reviews for every one of her books have been enthusiastic—and these are reviewers with whom I’m normally in sync. But I just couldn’t get into them. I really wish I could “see” what everyone else is so excited about…I feel I’m missing out!!!
Wow. Holy crapload of comments here, obviously we are an opinionated group!
I actually don’t like most romances any more. The stories are so contrived, and I find the whole magic hoo-ha and mighty wang overdone. I get so tired of hearing long, boring descriptions of perfect washboard abs and perky tiptilted breasts. The heroes I tend to find the most sexy are not the ones where every aspect of his cock anatomy is discussed and described ad nauseum, but the hero who is sexy because of who he is and how he acts.
I had real problems with the Iron Duke, because, dude, iron bones. Seriously? No human could survive with iron bones. Our bones make our red blood cells. I suspect iron bones, not so much. I just could not get over the fact that a man with iron bones just would not work. Plus I found it to be a very typical trope romance.
I used to absolutely love Laurell K. Hamilton. Until she went stark raving weirdo. Not only are the sex scenes in her newer books unending, they are actually the same boring, overclinical sex scene written again and again (and again) with the only difference being what creature/faerie/animal/whatever is going to insert part A into slot B at any given moment, while all the other menfolk watch in envy and love. Ugh.
I still love the Outlander series but boy does Gabaldon need an editor. Bad. Like most, but not all of the Kelly Armstrong books. Love Kim Harrison. Ilona Andrews; now THAT is a sexy relationship! But her last one was a bit of a weak effort. And I don’t like her On The Edge series much.
Love Terry Pratchett with a white hot fury. Love Lois McMaster Bujold but had the same creeps about the Fawn/Dag relationship that others have expressed. The Sharing Knife series is far and away my least favorite.
YES. THIS. HARD. I work in a library where I’m supposed to read and love every freakin’ NYT/Oprah bestseller and people are always shocked when I decline their insistent requests that I read the latest Debbie Macomber/Anita Shreve/whatever sappy book about trainwrecked middle-aged people. Nobody, but nobody, has to listen to people’s praise of crappy books more than a librarian. I have seen the reading public’s taste, and it’s scarily narrow.
(Okay, I’m bitter. But years of biting my tongue and going, “oh yes, she’s a great writer isn’t she?” when I can’t stand the author have made me snake-eyed about certain books. Also, I hate the fact I have to hide my love of romance because it’s okay to love Sophie Kinsella but it’s not okay to love Harlequin Blaze like nobody’s bidness).
This is such a great topic! I’m not surprised so many people have such strong feelings about certain romances. I AM surprised to see so many people who dislike Nora Roberts, but perhaps I’m biased as she was my “first”. I guess the head hopping gets old, but I’m so used to her style (I’ve read her entire – no I’m not joking – backlist) that it doesn’t bother me.
I do like the Outlander series, but I tend to get sucked into series like this and overlook all the not-so-pleasant bits (although the adultery thing never sat well with me).
I have yet to get into Laura Kinsale. I’ve tried two of her books (Flowers from the Storm and The Shadow and the Star) which EVERYONE seems to love, but both were DNF for me. Way too angsty, I think.
I’ve also read three or four Judith McNaught books, and the only one I liked was Kingdom of Dreams. They are just too long and too epic and too much for me.
A note on LoS: The first time I read it, I hated it and didn’t even finish it. I was so confused at why I could hate it when everyone else adores it that I read it again. And LOVED IT! So my lesson from that is to give highly rated books a second chance. 🙂
I know there are already more than 300 posts but I am so happy to find other people who disliked Outlander! I got it free on my Kindle early this year and read it but disliked almost everything about it. I could live with the adultery since technically she was several hundred years away and didn’t know that she’d ever get back but I could not stand all the awful things that happened—almost being burned as a witch, almost rapes, his actual rape, the beating for no good reason, etc. I love the phrase “torture porn” and think it’s very appropriate. I also finished reading Gone With the Wind as a teenager and threw the book across the room, even though it was 3am (scared my poor Mom) and it wasn’t my book (and I don’t even break the backs of paperbacks normally). I agree that Rhett’s biggest flaw was caring about that self-centered, whiny witch Scarlet. I didn’t start reading romance until the mid-90s and I did then read a couple of Rosemary Rogers’ Steve & Ginny books and Kathleen Woodiwiss because they are the godmothers of modern romance, but even allowing for different cultural norms in the 70s, I did not like them at all (Rogers fits as “torture porn” also). In romance, I don’t like the the hero fooling around with somebody else after he gets involved with the heroine (yeah, I know it’s unrealistic but it’s my time I’m spending) and I don’t like TSTL or too young heroines. If she’s 17 or 18 and he’s over 30, I just put the book down unless it’s handled very carefully. There are other famous authors I don’t like (I disliked Cassie Edwards even before the big plagiarism scandal because I thought her writing was so poorly done) but will stop now. But, in non-romance books: Nicholas Sparks. I cannot stand investing so much emotional energy into characters only to have them die. If that’s “real” literature, give me the “fake” stuff any day! Great topic!
Ok, my shameful admission is Sherry Thomas. I got an ARC of Private Arrangements at RWA and I wanted to like it. The writing/voice is stunning, but I hated both the lead characters and the way they treated one another so much I wanted them both to die in a ditch, not live HEA. Since then, I’ve tried a couple of others but I’ve never been able to feel enough connection to or sympathy for the characters to finish.
I haven’t seen Sherry mentioned by anyone else in the thread, though, so I strongly suspect I am alone in this.
I’ll agree with a few others who mentioned The Time Traveler’s Wife. It was kind of addictive and I read it cover to cover, but I was bugged by the fact that there didn’t seem to be any real differentiation between the two first person voices (I didn’t always know whether it was Claire or Henry narrating in some scenes). And in the final analysis, I felt manipulated by it. I knew it was all going to turn out badly and make me cry, but I could not put it down, which pissed me off. Yes, that’s weird, I know.
I am SO GLAD I’m not the only person who doesn’t like Zoe Archer. I DNF’d both Warrior and Scoundrel halfway through, I just felt like they were dragging on an on. They almost convinced me that I just hate road romances, but I know that isn’t true, since I’ve enjoyed plenty of other road romances, but I will admit that I’m now less likely to check them out.
All the Outlander hate makes me glad I never started reading the free copy I have.
Count me in for Sookie Stackhouse. Everyone keeps telling me to jump back in around book 4 or something when Eric gets there, since Bill was my main problem with the first book, but I just can’t.
There are probably more, but I’m on brain-overload from reading all of this thread, so I can’t remember them.
Wow, people have a serious hate on for Outlander. I love it, but I can freely acknowledge that it’s got problems and y’all have a right to hate it. The supposed adultery was for me a non-issue, since her husband had not yet been born and she had no detectable way of getting back to him. I never even thought of it as adultery until reading this thread, and I still don’t.
The book that I experienced this with most strongly was The Great Gatsby. I know, I know, it’s not a romance, but it still is on pretty much everybody’s best-of lists, so when I was required to read it for a class, I was looking forward to it. I detested it so much that I couldn’t finish it. I Wikipedia’d it and then faked my way through the class discussion and the final exam. You know what? I got an A in that class. Fuck you, Fitzgerald! I’ll take my happy endings over your de-boob-itation any day.
As far as romances go, add me to the list of people who were sadly disappointed by the over-hyped Lord of Scoundrels. I love me some Loretta Chase, but that book just does nothing for me. I don’t think it deserves its reputation as “greatest historical romance novel of all time evar.”
OH. Kristin Higgins, also. Just One of the Guys, or whatever that book was called, was just awful and confusing for me. I got 75% of the way in before just giving up. That book seemed to be billed as romance, but read like really frustrating chick lit, to me.
@Jackie Barbosa It might be worth it to try other Sherry Thomas books! Because I also didn’t like Private Arrangements (fortunately, it was the last Sherry Thomas book I read, and not the first), but I really enjoyed all her other books.
Stray by Rachel Vincent-It’s an overused plot in almost all shifter books. I also hated that the heroine was so hardheaded (which didn’t make her stronger just dumber IMO).
@ Becca re: Knight in Shining Armor
Isn’t KiSA where the hero has a son who is swaddled and hung from a nail and dies (before the heroine can go back and “save him”)? And he’s the damn HERO? WTF?
Lara Adrian-I really wanted to love her books. I bought the first three and almost finished the first, then set them off to the side and tried again last year. Heroine was TSTL, the plot was a recycle from most PNR, and each book was such a lead in to another member of the uber-secret PNR society that keeps everyone from finding out about them. And the fact that the heroine just finds the damn hiding spots and takes her famous pictures of said spots was so…convenient.
Hunter’s Moon by Adams and Clamp-All the blogs were raving that this was so fantastic. The Sazi books were amazing. WTF? Instead of growing a pair the heroine wants the hero to off her b/c of her awful family. SHE’S A FUCKING MILLIONAIRE! And at that first meeting the hero says something about “rape being extra”??? How is this an attractive feature?
Christopher Moore-Not romance, but I just hated Practical Demonkeeping. Everyone was secretive over nothing! And it wasn’t funny at all.
Kristan Higgins-My bookclub raved about her books saying she was the next Lori Foster and her contemporaries were amazing. Huh? Did I miss something? The one I tried was a widowed baker (or something) who searches for Mr. Right, all the while ignoring her male BFF (who had turned his life around, knocked up another woman and who the heroine befriends with no animosity between any of them) who she’s been fucking on the side sincer her beloved hubby died. Huh?
Christine Feehan-OMG you must be my mate b/c I can see COLORS and I must protect uber-weak female. Bleck!
Fellowship of the Ring by Tolkien-I love the movie. I want so much to love the books. But I just barely made it through #1. The descriptions of the trees go on for pages. When the fellowship is in Lothlorien (?) in the trees trying to avoid capture and Tolkien describes every leaf that falls and the canopy of trees….Snooze. It took me almost 2 weeks to make it through. Maybe I’ll add reading the last 2 to my bucket list.
Kresley Cole’s IAD series-I enjoyed AHLNO, but every book after that just grated on my nerves. Every book is a set up for the next, so we get a different POV in the next book of the same shit that we just read in the previous. It takes 150 pages to get to anything new. And the “banter” between the Valkyries drives me nuts (it reminds me of the BDB).
J. R. Ward-I’m on the fence about the BDB (they bug the shit out of me but Bella/Zsadist’s story is my only keeper), the deadly sins series drives me nuts. It’s the same thing all over again only with a “heavenly” influence. Not to mention everyone is fucking rich. No money worries. Just brand name bombs everywhere.
Diana Palmer-Is every woman in Texas an innocent virgin who the hero can’t possibly deflower b/c of the massive guilt or cruelty? In one of them the heroine has a medical condition where her hymen is too thick and the hero calls her a cocktease? Or the hero must have the heroine, who stupidly sleeps with him and he calls her names after for being too easy. But all is forgotten when he wakes up and must have her for life. Ugh.
Terry Spear-I tried one, but the plot was the heroine wanted to screw a human, bite them and mate them (b/c she’s just the greatest catch ever).
Larissa Ione-I just couldn’t get past the hero cheating on the heroine in their past relationship and after a little sex and a crappy reason (I must screw as many women as I can when I go through THE CHANGE) all is forgiven.
And I second whoever said Melissa Marr. I really enjoyed Wicked Lovely, but the second book was so damn depressing. It was like revisiting my teen years of angst.
Anything by Shayla Black-Her PNR plots have been done by many more talented authors.
Christine Warren. Ewww…….
Sarah McCarty’s Hell’s Eight series-All is forgiven if the hero can buttfuck the heroine (kinda like Lora Leigh).
most of the books that i can’t stand to read are classics. Anything written pre-1990 is really meh to me. There are a few exceptions—i LOVED Lolita and Dangerous Liaisons. People tell me how great Jane Austen is, but I can’t stand her. Ditto Dickens. I absolutely loathed Moby Dick and Gulliver’s Travels. Rebbecca was an instant hate for me. It is supposed to be this great romantic suspense novel, but I couldn’t get past the 9th chapter (my mom couldn’t get past the 2nd). It was just awful.
The funny thing is that I usually love Shakespeare. I love everything about him—except Romeo and Juliet. I just don’t get why it is so loved. My favorite was actually Richard III.
Modern books that I hate include the Nora Roberts with the antique store owner and the PI. I hate it so much that I can’t even remember the name. The other one by her that I really don’t like is the one with the horse trainer from back in the 1980’s.
I also hate Outlander. I love time travel, but the fact that Claire was in love with her husband before ending up in the past made me want to throw my kindle against the wall. As soon as I realized that she was in a happy relationship, I was done.
Sookie Stackhouse is another one that I do not live. I love True Blood, but the books are horrible.
JQ’s Splendid. Love most of her books, but this one was a DNF, and I cannot understand the raves. I’m not particularly bothered by historical inaccuracies or modern dialogue in historicals as long as I am entertained enough by the dialogue to not think of how historically inaccurate they are (and I’m not familiar enough with the histories of this time to really notice them). But the hero came off as a douchey fratboy and the heroine makes me want to hit my head on the table.
(It’s probably also bad luck too that I read this book when I was taking a class on the Economic History of United States before the Civil War. I remember that I kept thinking “but what about Jefferson’s Embargo of 1807?” every time someone mentions the heroine’s family.)
Also, in the non-romance category, Lord of the Rings. I space out less when I’m reading textbooks.
@Lindsey Oh, I have tried others. I have both Not Quite a Husband and His at Night. Both, like Private Arrangements, were DNF for me. I just couldn’t get invested.
/sigh
I know it’s me.
Aside: My verification word is college35. I object. I haven’t even been out of college for 25 years yet!
I just kept cracking up as I read this. I’m one of the ones helping create the “best of” lists that so many love to hate. I loved Lord of Scoundrels. I’m not in love with the fact that she shot him but I’m not worried about it from a medical standpoint because I think the world and action of this novel (as with many, if not most, romances) is fantastic, not realistic. I’m an American and seeing Ireland is, at this stage, only a dream, so I get to keep Born in Ice as one of my favorite novels. I love Wuthering Heights. One of my absolute all time favorite novels. I think Emily Bronte is an absolute genius. It grieves me I only have Wuthering Heights. I love Georgette Heyer. Some of Susan Elizabeth Phillips helped me through some dark dark days: Breathing Room was a delight for me.
So, what do I dislike? Probably themes more than individual books or writers. Rape is a turn off, whether it is male on female or female on male (as has been noted here). And I am getting seriously tired of sexual predator/rakes and bad boys. I admit I still read them and can still get sucked in. But I really wish for a lot more heroes who are good people. (Hey, I’m married to a good guy. I think they make good romantic material both in fiction and in life). I want heroes I can LIKE. One of the reasons I like Georgette Heyer: heroes like Freddy from Cottillion and Hugo from the Unknown Ajax. So, I really like Sherry Thomas for giving me smart heroes and heroines who can be flawed and make mistakes but are essentially good people: Not Quite a Husband leaps to mind.
For me, it was Eat, Pray, Love. What a whiney, self-centered bitch. I wanted to bitch-slap her upside the head. You eat like a pig all the pasta for four months, and you wonder why you can’t fit into a pair of jeans? WTF!?!?!
I liked Outlander, but I agree with Auel’s Earth Children’s series. The last book was a severe disappointment, and I swear to God, Auel recycled paragraphs and then the ending. WTF?!? REALLY? THAT’S THE BEST YOU CAN DO?!?
Hamilton lost me after it was clear Anita let it get to her head. Forget it.
Sophie Kinsella bothers me, especially the Shopaholic series. Really? This woman doesn’t learn after the first time? And Emily Giffen’s “Something Borrowed” narrowly got chucked across a room, I was so disgusted. GRRR.
I am enjoying reading this thread way too much. It is cracktastic! Ladies, please. School starts tomorrow and I have spent half the day in here reading. I’m bad. I’m so very bad.
I find it really hard to believe that there is only ONE person so far has mentioned the JR Ward books. They are like nails on a chalkboard to me. I also can’t stand Karen Marie Moning’s fairy series that just came out (that faefever, shadowfever, mary sue fever series).
HATED:
1. Lord of Scoundrels (read it because everyone loved it, and I hated it!)
2. Those Psy changling books—if those are the ones with the penis hooks. You know—the members that attach themselves like a grappling hook to the womans va-jay-jay. That with a healthy dose of bestiality (don’t do shape-shifters well) GROSSED me out.
3. The Duke of Shadows—scratched my head on why people loved this one. It felt incomplete to me.
4. Daughter of the Blood by Anne Bishop—I felt like it was written by someone while on acid.
5. Halfway to the Grave—reminded me too much of Buffy
@ Terrie
I would LOVE a nice guy hero. I’ve gotten so tired of manwhores and bad boys. There are a lot of nice guys IRL, so why not in romancelandia?
I think my major dislike is the secrecy trope. Whether it’s the secret baby or the secret society (that of course everyone knows about b/c it has a gazillion members).
And as much as I love G.A. Aiken/Shelly Laurenston’s wit, I am so tired of the word bitch.
This is making me glad I haven’t bought Outlander. I’m refusing to unless I find it at a yard sale for 25 cents. I feel like that’s how much worth I’ll get out of it if I end up hating it – and I think I may end up hating it.
I actually love quite a few of the other books. Whitney, My Love is so romantic to me and I have no idea why. I didn’t start out as a romance reader, and I think that made my reaction to it less visceral. I think there was also the response to it that (to me) felt pretty good. That’s just me, though, and I know many dislike it.
I can totally respect the hate for Feehan/Ward/ect. I love reading those kinds of authors, but their writing can be hard to handle after a while if you don’t LOVE love them.
As for ones I hate that haven’t been mentioned/burned enough:
Joan Johnson – I know she has a big fan base somewhere, somehow. I am not among them. I’ve tried getting into one of her books twice and find it completely un-engaging. Not to mention the info-dumping got impossible to handle for me after a bit.
Alyssa Day – The Atlantis series is a cool concept, but I tried book one and couldn’t get through more than half of it. Twice. It had insta-love/mating, which is a trope I can handle and enjoy, but there was zero h/H interaction after that. It went on for a hundred pages and most of the book was focusing on other characters and not going anywhere. It was so much set-up. I was so frustrated.
Debbie Macomber – I’d be willing to try her again, but I couldn’t finish This Matter of Marriage. That book sucked to no end. It was all about this “modern working woman looking for love”. Of course, she and her friend come to the realization mid-book that the only TRUE love is the love that involves a marriage first and then many babies. While giving up your career. I paraphrase, obviously, but the message was quite clear. Wall-banger to the highest degree.
I read one Fern Michaels book that I liked. Remember. It was more women’s fiction, though, and I loved the whole concept of it. Afterwords…nada. I couldn’t stomach the “romance” for more than a few pages in another book I can’t recall (too boring) or her first Texas book (uh…again, super boring.)
Didn’t finish Wuthering Heights, either. I’ll probably give it another go and attempt to get through it for the “literary” value, but it was so gosh-darn dull that it will be a challenge. I’ve also never finished the first book from Robert Jordan, Terry Brooks, or Terry Goodkind. They all bored me to tears and got so bogged down that I could not go on.
FLOWERS FROM THE STORM by Laura Kinsale. Although I have to say that I didn’t hate it. I just think it’s much ado about nothing. Not the worst book I have ever read, not even close really. Wouldn’t make my top 10/25/50/100, etc.
spamalot word: needs97 I guess my top book(s) list needs to be a top 97. 😉
The biggest one I can think of was SEP’s Heaven, Texas. I finished it because I kept waiting for the heroine to stop being such a doormat and the hero, Bobby Joe or Bubba Joe, or some other stupid name, to stop being such a misogynistic, condescending, self-important douchebag, but it never happened. The heroine was a virgin, which was fine, but it’s apparently because she’s so dowdy that no one wants her. She even wears glasses to prove her dowdiness. At least until the douchebag is kind enough to take her shopping for new clothes, tell her that he can’t believe she’s actually pretty, then sit her down and tell her that he’s decided to do her the huge favor of being her first. She should be honored because, while he actually has a rule against virgins, he’ll make an exception for her because she’s been nice to him. Also, he’s an important football star and loved by the ladies, so the fact that he’s willing to spend an entire hour deflowering her instead of getting some skilled loving should prove to her that she’s pretty. This is all after the first scene, where he sees her at a party and decides that she must be a joke stripper that his friends have set up for him and tries to rip off her clothes all the while commenting that he can’t believe his friends would send him someone so frumpy and homely. Then at the end when he acts like a douche in front of an entire country club full of people and she has the absolute gall to turn him down in public, he takes the microphone from the podium, spotlights her, and throws a temper tantrum. Calls her names, tells her that she can go screw herself and he doesn’t need her anyway. Then he stomps off. The fact that she would go after him would have made me throw the book, but it was on my Kindle.
Also Nicholas Sparks, and the Twilight series. Serious hatred for them, also.
Oh, I’m so happy to hear that I’m not alone in hating Outlander! I truly thought I was the only person on the planet that didn’t like this book. I tried reading it so many times and couldn’t finish it AND I couldn’t figure out why so many people love this book. Finally, I forced myself to finish it (didn’t enjoy myself at all) and still can’t figure out why this book is so loved and cherished.
Also, please don’t hate me, Lord of Scoundrels was a DNF for me. I tried…but just couldn’t finish it.
An author that I want to love is Gena Showalter, her books always sound so good but when I try to read them…I can’t finish. I always end up not caring if the H/h end up together. I figure that’s just the death toll….
Great discussion! Makes me really examine the criteria I use to choose a book or author.
I quit reading romance for a long time after my first encounter with rape in an old skool romance, yet the spanking & rape stuff in Outlander did not inspire the outrage that it does for so many. I was actually kind of impressed that Gabaldon had the ‘nads to write scenes that went so strongly against current ideas of what is acceptable in a relationship. I did finish Outlander, but my main gripe and the reason I’ll never read another in the series is that it just wasn’t worth the time investment. Took forever and the characters didn’t even stick.
I don’t consider myself a fanatic when it comes to historical accuracy; I simply don’t have the the expertise. However, gratuitous and repeated anachronisms in dialogue or in sexual mores really get up my nose. Historical novels by Caroline Linden, Julia Quinn, Eloisha James, Zoe Archer and Lauren Willig all give me the pip. One was cotton candy, and I ate quite a bit before I yakked; some were DNFs or one book/never again. The dialogue just irked the crap out of me. Also, can we have a drinking game for some of these series? Downing a shot every time one of Quinn’s characters “gritted out” a sentence or some Bridgerton said “Brilliant!” like a refugee from Helen Fielding or Nick Hornsby might have made the pink fluff halfway palatable. I really hate it when a chick from 18?? sounds like my younger daughter. (My older daughter could only provide dialogue for UF.)
As for the sexual mores, I find it hard to accept that a woman of a distant time and culture has so little internal dialogue concerning the rights, wrongs, and risks, before doing the nasty. Hell, somehow I vaguely remember fear of eternal damnation and/or disgracing the fam being a turn off in my younger days, and that was only the 20th century. If the progression of the intimate scenes is only a matter of how intense or graphic the sex gets, and doesn’t involve any character development or conflict, well, can you spell formulaic? See authors above and Loretta Chase as well.
i do enjoy some Urban Fantasy, but couldn’t get past the first chapter of Feehan’s Carpathian series. Stilted dialogue and florid descriptions are not my thing at all. Having Prince Mikey peeking in the heroine’s bedroom window at night was an early dealbreaker, as well.
And, finally, I have to admit that in spite of high praise and a long search to even find a copy, I didn’t think Windflower was all that and a bag of chips. I know it was a product of its time, but see above for stilted dialogue and florid descriptions. Not a keeper.
If this shows up twice, I apologize.
Longtime lurker here, finally have to chime in because I haven’t seen it mentioned in the comments so far but my ultimate WTF book was Sunshine (Robin Mckinley?)—- it’s vampires, blah blah blah, I kept seeing it mentioned on OMFG!!1! best-of lists etc. total garbage, the H is actually gross, the h is total cinnamon-rolled obsessed weirdo
@ Regina: the hooked penis books are most def NOT The Psy-Changeling books by Nalini Singh; they ARE Lora Leigh’s Breeds books.
Yes, I am back again. I am amazed constantly by what we all dislike and, even more so by what some hate while others like or even love. I loved Lord of the Scoundrels when I originally read it. I was really taken by Flowers of the Storm, having read it during the San Antonio Romantic Times convention.
More of my hates. Rape between hero and heroine (or main character with anyone/anything else). I don’t care whether it is male/female/animal. Rape is never romance and never will be despite some of the earlier romantic fiction that said otherwise.
Loved Jane Eyre. Hated Wuthering Heights. Iffy on Jane Austen, but I read her when I was much, much younger, so she is on my list to read again. I have both Pride and Prejudice and Northanger Abbey.
Struggled through LotR, giving up when Gandalf died. He was the only character I liked. And I will confess here that I didn’t like the movies at all.
I’m not a fan of SEP’s books. I tried, but I think her heroines and heroes are not people I have any interest in knowing.
I’ve been reading all these postings and thinking more about what I do like in a romance or other series, what makes me keep reading. Basically I want characters that I care about. I want a hero and heroine who like each other, not just being attracted due to the Magic Sex Connection.
I think we have a new acronym. DIAD. Die in a Ditch. Maybe we could combine it with TSTL. Only fair, it’s what I want those characters to do.
@ tricornhat: I’m right there with you on “Sunshine”. I was NOT impressed with the “total cinnamon-roll obsessed weirdo” heroine either and it REALLY bothered me that I had NO FREAKING IDEA what she looked like! (Maybe SHE looked like a rotting mushroom too and that’s why she liked the hero!)
Well…
I still love a lot of the books on other people’s list. But I notice that humorous books are much more likely to be on this list (out of proportion to how often they are recommended). Humor is so personal and I know I am easy to please – I really want to laugh. But, if anyone mentioning Stephanie Plum started after about 8 or 9, you didn’t get to read the real thing. The first ones were better. I would not call Stephanie “empowered” though.
I tried a few times to read some of the Dresden Files, I can’t stand them even as short stories.
I hate most Catherine Coulter – but does anyone recommend her?
If I made a list of multi-published authors that I really can’t stand, Debbie Macomber would head the list. I put back a book at the library this evening because the cover said it would appeal to Debbie Macomber fans. Maybe I get more annoyed because they are almost the book I want? It took reading more than one before I realized that I wasn’t ever going to like her books no matter how much the blurb interested me.
I wasn’t wild about the Stieg Larsson books but I had to keep reading them to find out what else happened. I hated that he described the rape in such detail when the consensual sex is mostly glossed over.
I am afraid to read Harry Potter. I worry that I will lose respect for all of the millions of fans if I read them. I worry that I will get pissed off for all of the authors who explored schools for wizards decades earlier. (They can’t be that much better than the Earthsea books by Ursula K. LeGuin. Why doesn’t she have an eight-movie contract?) There are many popular novels that I don’t read because they are too popular.
I didn’t like Wuthering Heights because I expect to like at least one of the characters.
I’ve tried a few of Zoe Archer’s books and not liked them. I want to like them, they are definitely the kind of books I read and I like her posts on this site. I feel like I am reading the book of a distant relative, or friend of a friend, so I want to love it.
I couldn’t handle what a nasty piece of work Scarlet was in GWTW, so I never finished it. Maybe if it was shorter I would have slogged through.
@JL – glad to hear Big Bang Theory is an exception! And I’m glad I’m not the only one who dreams of dropping out of grad school to bake pies! Thanks for the “Shit to avoid” grad school books, I’ll make a note that they will likely annoy me, if I ever run across them. A good grad student rant always takes a load off; this was my McCarthy rant: http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/200697327
@Isabel – I don’t know, I still LOVE Jurassic Park and can quote it backwards and forwards. And I’m pretty sure I do at least once a day (my poor friends). There are pieces of media and pop culture from my field that are campy enough or I saw early enough in my life to be treasured, rather than annoying. Apparently RAVISHED and JURASSIC PARK are these things for me.
@TC – I read one Coulter and that was it for me. It was one of the rape-y ones, and I was still very new in the genera. Did not turn me off of the genera (thank goodness!), but did turn me off of her. Even 10 years later I haven’t tried another one of her books, I was so disgusted and uncomfortable by the one I read. I see her books in grocery stores and think “who reads this?” every time (yes, I realize I’m judging on one bad experience and obviously a lot of people buy her books – maybe I’ll give her another try one day).
@LEW,
holy crap, you’re so right! Just read your rant and… it’s so true, why are there no women who complete grad school in the books I read? To be fair, there are some female ‘profs’ in books, including Hard & Fast, not that said prof does anything professorial, such as, heaven forbid, ever going to work… But it’s true. Nothing would be more romantic than a love interest cleaning the house, cooking dinner, giving copious footrubs, and maybe even proofreading for the heroine while she busts her butt to finish her thesis! A girl can dream…
@JL – I assume you’re talking about Tamara? In Hard and Fast she’s said to be an instructor and has a Master’s. Not to belittle Masters degrees (I have one), but they’re very different from a Ph.D. For example, one cannot be a full professor (head advisor for students, P.I. on grants, tenure-track, etc) at a 4-year institution without them. Consequently, the pressures put on Tamara would be greatly lower than a tenure/tenure-track professor with a Ph.D. That’s one of the reasons why I got angsty over the lack of clarification between degrees.
This being said, I have a lot of friends who stop after a M.S. and teach at community colleges, on soft money (non-tenure track), or go into industry or consulting. They all seem very happy and satisfied with where they are in life (arguable much more than I am as I try to finish my damn Ph.D.), and I’m so happy for them that they are. Actually, I’m quite jealous that they seem to have lives. However, in my experience, this is significantly more common in my female friends and acquaintances than male. This is what bothers me.
Sherrilyn Kenyon!!! Used to love her but all her heroines hiss like snakes during sex. He hisses, she hisses its like a reptile house. I gave up on the Dark Hunters when I needed a notepad to jot down who all these people were in the story. They all blurred together because there were so many!
Cannot read LaNora. Tried the In Death books, couldnt get past book 2. Boring.