Catriona wrote in the Heyer/Grand Sophy thread:
Sarah, can we do a thread on romances that we want to love, we should have loved, everybody else loves them…but that we can’t stand because something just left a bad taste in our mouths?
I like this idea for two reasons. No, three. First, we’ve done it before. But let’s do a new one. It’s been years.
Second: not enjoying a book that it seems like everyone loved or enjoyed can be an isolating experience, but as I’ve learned on the internet, you’re never alone in your likes and dislikes, no matter how outlandish they might seem. 0_o
And third: everyone’s buttons are different (woo, kinky!). What ticks me off may not bother you in the slightest, and vice versa. For example, and I’ve used this example before: there are many who are intensely bothered by historical inaccuracies in romances. I am not one of these people. The Duke can in fact drive a Porsche to Almack’s, and I’m fine with it. Whatever.
My hot button is stilted, unrealistic and awkward dialogue. If characters, like, for example, the Duke of Porsche, say things that real human beings wouldn’t say, and use cliches to the point that they don’t sound like actual people, I get really annoyed. Yanks me right out of the story and into Land of Crankypants. But the Porsche? Meh. Whatever.
I am not alone in that preference, but I do think that among romance readers, especially historical romance fans, I’m in the minority. And this is not to insult any author who busts her ass doing the research. Go on with your bad self – and your Porsche.
Catriona’s example is a bit more specific:
My example is As You Desire by Connie Brockway. Everybody is in love with this book and it always appears on people’s top romances list. I should love it – I enjoyed Brockway’s other books, I’m crazy about Egypt and archaeology and I love romances that are supposed to be funny and witty. It had everything going for it.
But I’m telling you, this book is like my own personal berserk button. To this day, I still can’t think about it or hear somebody sing its praises without my blood pressure spiking. My issue is with the way the author set up an “older” woman (I think she was in her early 30’s) to be the younger heroine’s foil. Basically, the older woman was rejected by the hero and pretty much every male in the book because she wasn’t as “perfect” as the seemingly smarter, blonder, younger heroine. I would expect this kind of ageism/blondeism in a book from the 1970’s, but this book was from 1997! This passage in particular, in which Marta, the other woman, sees the heroine at a restaurant, encompasses everything that bothers me about this book:
“I say,” Lord Ravenscroft suddenly breathed, “Now, there is a treasure worth coveting. Have you ever seen such a piece of tiny, golden perfection?”
…Marta followed the direction of everyone’s gaze to where Miss Carlisle’s progress through the room was marked by a wave of men scurrying to their feet as she passed.
To blatantly steal a phrase from you, Sarah: OH COME ON NOW AND I MEAN IT! Is this supposed to be a parody? Because it fails if it is. I ended up feeling whole lot more sympathy for Marta, while I wanted to bury Desdemona Carlisle headfirst in the sand. Normally the perfect, blonde, child prodigy, men-literally-fall-at-her-feet woman is the RIVAL, not the heroine.
Maybe I’m letting this bother me way too much…. But somewhere deep down, it grates on me that the heroine has to be this drop-dead gorgeous, “oh save me” frail young creature. I often wonder why people loved this book so much when I, who was much closer to Desdemona’s age when I read it, was so bothered by the discrimination against the older, more experienced, more capable other woman.
I got to wondering, is this just a case of me finding it difficult to relate to the heroine, and seeing myself as a rival to her to the hero? Nah, I thought Harry was an idiot too. His famous “you are my Egypt” speech just made me cringe. I would’ve heaved if anyone said anything so ridiculous to me, but apparently a lot of readers disagree judging by the links out there:
I fully expect the pitchforks and torches to come after me on this one, but bring it! Catriona “Encyclopedia Hittanica” is ready!
Ok, I’m about to come off even more objectionably: I have never read this book, but now I’m so very curious.
So, what’s your book that everyone adored, but you couldn’t enjoy it? You certainly don’t have to limit your example or response to this one. No shame and no shaming, please! Bring on your least liked books that made you feel the most isolated in your lack of enjoyment.
Let me join the chorus of “what’s WRONG with virgins in contemporary romances?” Because yeah, just because a protagonist hasn’t had sex yet doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with them as a person. Even if they’re over 25!
Also: enough with the plot devices of “all previous lovers were pale imitations of the One True Wuv”, and “she’s a widow but she never actually really had sex before”.
Might be old but I never understood the appeal of Twilight. (Honestly, people love reading books of purple prose about men’s bodies?!) I also hate Danielle Steel. (Yes, I have tried reading her books. Eleven years ago I loved her, but now I can’t stand her.)
My hot buttons are mistreatment of Jewish characters, (Jewish women in particular,) and the whole why aren’t there more dark haired heroines and why do I have to put up with blond heroines? I would also guess inaccuracies, at least ones I’m aware with. Shoving religion down the reader’s throat. (You’re guilty of that Anne Rice, why I don’t like to read you anymore,) I don’t care for brand names and whatnot and that distracts me from the story, also I’m not a big fan of when the story is set in a definite place. (I’ve never traveled to New York or Los Angeles or to anywhere else, so I can’t relate to those books.)
I don’t think this one counts, but I cannot stand Charles Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities, and William Shakespeare plays, (people get very shocked when I tell them I hate Shakespeare.) I also am not a fan of The Three Musketeers.
Captcha word: decided 59. At last I’ve decided to submit what are my hot buttons and least favorite authors.
@darlynne
For me, it’s giggling. I can’t stand it when a character giggles. Maybe it’s because I’ve never heard anyone over the age of five giggle. I especially don’t like it associated with lovemaking. blech.
While I’m still here (and since the discussion caught my eye) can I just say, on the subject of virgins, that I’m tired of virgins in Medieval historicals who don’t know about the existence of sex? People were far more casual about sex in the early and middle middle ages than romance novels want us to believe. Along with that, the casual attitude toward infant loss in some of the books I read in my teen years… the authors of those books seemed to think that in the middle ages, children were expendable. Just because infant mortality was high doesn’t mean people were totally cool with losing their children. Both of those things put me off historicals for a long while.
@EC Spurlock – I have to agree on the Elizabeth Peters Amelia Peabody series. This acutally breaks my heart, because it has all things I love: Victorian era; Egyptology; smart, confident heroine not in the first blush of youth; snarky, sexy husband. Sadly, they do nothing for me.
Oddly enough, however, I love all the other Elizabeth Peters books and those she writes as Barbara Michaels.
Oh, yeah, THAT I have issues with. Which I not-so-articulately called “a THING” in my original comment. I would absolutely love to read a romance (and the only one I can think of that comes close is one of Nora’s early ones…one of the ones with Irish people and horses?) where the heroine is an older virgin, likes a guy, has sex with him, and it’s fine. It’s not necessary TWU WUV yet, but she enjoyed herself, and it was cool. (The NR one, btw, pissed me off b/c the idiot hero was all, “oh noes, you’re a virgin! Are you sure this is okay? You don’t really want this. What if I’m seducing you? I want you, but I’d be deflowering you!” And the heroine was like, “Dude. Sex. Now.”)
JamiSings: I do not have an issue with virgins or celibate women. What I had posted way earlier was that it bugs me when authors use it as a plot device of why the men want the woman they want. She is “untouched” which then makes he better then any woman he has had before and it is written as if it is all she has to offer. I am with you that a strong woman does not need to be defined by her sexual status and that is why it irritated me something fierce when I got a book off of Kindle with about five erotic authors and in every single story (all shape shifters which I had never read before) the heroine was a virgin and within an hour or day of knowing the hero, was willing to give let this man who kidnapped her or had come in to protect her, violate her body every way possible because he claimed to be madly in love and promised to love her forever. Total BS Disney fairy tale crap. So annoying.
I really liked the first 3 Julia Grey books by Deanna Raybourne (especially book 1), but I don’t know wtf happened to Julia after that unless she got lobotomized. She wasn’t always a TSTL, maniacally impulsive heroine, I’m pretty sure. I read the sample of Dark Inquiry and sprained my finger deleting it from the Kindle. It read like an I Love Lucy scene.
I’m normally all about the heroine, but Brisbane’s probably wondering what the hell he got himself into marrying that dingbat.
As for The Dead Travel Fast, WHAT was the point of the hero’s seduction when heroine was pretty much ‘Take me, oh, Take me NOW!” at their first meeting.
There are many books that I’ve loathed and many authors that I should like but can’t quite warm up to, but my absolute pet hate is classics that get rammed to the top of ‘most romantic’, which I don’t consider romantic at all.
1. Romeo and Juliete – I almost got flunked from a college class because I wrote and essay on how much I loath this play.
2. Wuthering Heights -‘nough said about it already.
3. Jayne Eyre – ditto.
4. Gone With the Wind – horrible book!
I also hate books where the hero does imposible things and is accompanied by a 20 y/o heroine in high heels who’s a nuclear physicist. Angels and Demons comes to mind in this category.
Oh goodness, I’d never want to make someone feel bad about being a virgin at any age. But I grew up in a strongly religious culture in which virginity was definitely held up as an ideal, and there was an assumption that a non-virgin woman had no self-respect and that she was a less valuable commodity in terms of marriage. I’m now a divorced woman, so there’s definitely no way I’ll be a virgin when I (knock on wood) marry again; I still struggle with a feeling that I’m lesser as a result. I react pretty strongly to idealization of virginity because it has damaged me personally. I do think that books where the hero is super-psyched about the heroine’s “innocence” – and btw, virgin =/= innocent, necessarily! – reflect that idealization.
That said, I’d also like to point out, in response to one commenter above, that there is some middle ground between virginity and sleeping around; I’d hazard a guess that most of us occupy it and that many of us would like to see heroines who fall into it. I’d rather that, in general, a woman’s sexual experience, or lack thereof, wasn’t a measure of her strength or any other aspect of her worth. This is, I think, an area where romance can be problematic.
@cbackson OMG that is perfect! Yes, you’re never asked to sympathise with Francis, are you? He does what he does, and several of the main characters, notably Jerrott and Archie (oh Archie, how do I love thee!) condemn him.
Virgins in contemporaries. I don’t think it’s that they’re virgins, it’s that the hero will love her because she’s a virgin, and because she’s untouched, she’s so much better than the whores and sluts he’s slept with in the past. Because they’ve slept with (gasp) Other Men!
@Miranda – I also lost interest in the Lady Julia Grey books. The first three were faboo. I was even to the point of squeeing when a new came out. And then Dark Road to Darjeeling turned out to be a DNF for me. It wasn’t bad so much as just, well, boring.
I have to say Wuthering Heights too. Two unlikeable people die. He’s self absorbed and she’s a drama queen and a total wet lettuce. I had to finish it because it was one of the set novels in my first year of literature at college, but I had to make myself finish it.
Pretty much any book (romantic or not) where I want to slap the female MC upside the head and scream ‘grow a spine, damn it!’
Interesting point about losing interest, Katie. There have been some long-running paranormal series that I gobbled like candy early in their run, but the longer the series went on, the less interested I became – especially when some of those series expanded by three relases a year.
Maybe I’m weird (ok, tell us something we don’t already know, Tammy!) but I sometimes wish that prolific writers would slow down the pace a little. Make me wait. Draw out the anticipation. Tease me. Ahem.
Without a doubt in my mind, I would place TWILIGHT first on my “are you people kidding?” list. I was working in a bookstore at the time, had read all the Harry Potter stories to date and had a couple of people recommend TWILIGHT to me. I barely made it through the first 10 pages, my usual test to see if a book will grab me. The writing was atrocious. I even checked to see just how old the author was.
Second would be OUTLANDER. The writing wasn’t bad, but the story was padded with so much garbage that I felt slightly nauseous. Getting turned on by beating your true love? I didn’t put up with that crap in the early days of romance, why would I now?
And despite being a huge fan of Stephanie Laurens, I DNF her THE EDGE OF DESIRE. The characters just bored me. I didn’t care whether Letitia killed anyone or not. I didn’t understand why Christian wanted anything to do with her. I made it about a third of the way in before I said, “that’s enough of that. I’m outta here.”
Certain plot lines or themes will also turn me off. Secret babies, physical or mental abuse, addicted heroes/heroines, infidelity, really graphic sex scenes (although if the book is good, I can just fast forward through them), stereotyping and/or demeaning of any group/religion.
@Lynne Connolly: Archie is the best. When I’m supine in a dark room nursing a migraine, I often wish I had an Archie around to knock me out with some useful elephant narcotic. Adam is my other favorite of Francis’ sidekicks.
Jerott is tough for me, because his love and hate (for Francis and for Marthe) and sickness over both are bound up so tightly. I almost can’t bear to read about him, because it’s so uncomfortable to think about the times in my life when I’ve been Jerott myself.
I just finished a re-read, if it’s not apparent!
@MissFiFi – What I said wasn’t aimed at you or anyone in particular – in fact, except for Snark’s comments about wanting a virgin hero I haven’t read a lot of the comments after my original one about Soulless. I was just quickly scanning and the virgin hero thing jumped out at me. But I have noticed around the entire internet this idea that a heroine who drops her panties for anyone = a strong woman. Especially when talking about romance novels. And a few people have gotten onto me for being celibate lately, telling me that I’m “wasting my youth” and should be going to bars and spreading my legs. I don’t know which is worse, actually, the people who are telling me that I should be a slut to be “free and strong” or the ones who tell me that I should give up all my dreams, marry the first guy who comes along, “and have a bunch of children like a normal woman.” (Only good thing about the PCOS. Since infertility/difficulty conceiving one of the symptoms, I tell people I have it and I’m barren and they then drop the subject, usually.)
That’s why I want to see a heroine who says “No thank you” to sex until the right guy comes along. And I’m tired of the people – truthfully usually young college girls – who get all huffy and even nasty about virgin/celibate heroines. I mean, I actually don’t get why so many people, both women and men, sleep around anyway. Not with what they know of STDs like herpes and stuff like HIV and AIDS.
Anything by Philippa Gregory. This is entirely the fault of The Favored Child. Horrifying. Just absolutely horrifying. This was the first real romance that I ever read and it scarred me for life. [spoiler!] I mean—she’s raped by her cousin who’s actually secretly her brother?? She marries her brother and has his child?? Wtf?? I literally threw the book across the room the first time I read this. I was in my young teens and I was utterly, utterly shocked and horrified. That shit needs a warning label. I don’t even have enough italics for how much I will not read PG’s books.
Writing style in general is a huge boner killer for me. I couldn’t even get past the first page of the Sookie Stackhouse series to see if I would hate the characters. When she described herself in her little 4th grade level sentences as just pretty freaking beautiful with her beautiful blonde hair in a ponytail and her beautiful tanned legs sticking out of her beautiful little shorts, I rolled my eyes too hard and popped out a contact. I love True Blood on HBO though. It’s raunchy and campy violent awesomeness. ^_^ (Sookie is still annoying though)
I promised my friends I would join a book club but I’m really starting to regret that promise already. No one else reads sci fi or fantasy or historical romances. It’s like all chick lit all the time. Jody Picoult and Sue Monk Kidd and Oprah’s Picks just don’t interest me. I don’t want to read about the slow sweet sadness of an unraveling marriage or the hidden pain of a supposedly happy family. Frankly I’ve seen too much of that IRL and I don’t need to depress myself by reading about it too. If I want to depress myself I’ll go watch the news.
Delightful topic, fer shure.
Count me in here. And isn’t it interesting how minds work?
I like Laurens and yet can’t read Willig (and yes, I have tried), read Outlander but DNF the second one and the others are in the ‘no thanks’ pile.
The key to some of the longer series, I think, is to not read them all at a gulp. Gulping them will lead to spotting the formula and/or the inconsistencies and/or the same sex scenes (Laurens) in all the books.
As a person with half-heimers (I forget half of the stuff you tell me), I re-read with pleasure as I probably remembered the people and not the details of the plot. But secret babies (really, you thought it a good idea not to tell him?), rape, lying-cheating-stealing are definite turn-offs and I just don’t do vampires, even for authors whom I like as people.
My one ‘are you kidding me, this is great?’ WTFery is for the movie “The Princess Bride”. Many people just love it and I look at it and think the heroine is a ditz who waits for someone to save her and the hero is meh. Now, Drew Barrymore’s “Ever After”, that’s a pretty movie. 🙂
I did too. The plot had more holes than a Swiss cheese, including one involving a truck that you could have driven said truck through.
I barely made it through the first 10 pages, my usual test to see if a book will grab me. The writing was atrocious. I even checked to see just how old the author was.
Lizabeth: I totally agree with you on the bad writing in Twilight. My friend told me she was worried about what the series was teaching impressionable young people regarding sexuality. I told her I was worried about what the series was teaching impressionable young people regarding GRAMMAR, USAGE, and STYLE. Parents, be warned: it is up to you to teach your children that New York Times Bestseller does NOT necessarily equal good writing.
I’ve never been able to finish a Nora Roberts book—they just don’t grab or hold my interest, so I’m not sure I’ll ever pick up another one. Too many other books to read, not enough time.
Some historical innaccuracies I can let slide if they’re not egregious, especially if they serve the story and if I’m otherwise absorbed by the characters.
I enjoyed Outlander but I read it when it first came out and haven’t reread it or read anything else by DG since then.
I can enjoy the Peabody books only in small doses, if I only read one at a time. A little goes a long way.
I love Gone With the Wind, the Help, Wuthering Heights, Jane Eyre but of course none of these are intended to be romances the way we think of them today. And I’m a huge Georgette Heyer fan.
what an awesome post, and fabulous comments.
Do NOT understand the Kelley Armstrong love. I tried Bitten and almost bit my own arm off in boredom. And that was way before I was done with werewolves. Everytime SB Sarah sings its praises, I try again and then have to stop myself gouging out my eyes.
I didn’t hate it, it just bored the bejesus out of me. It was trying it repeatedly that made the hate grow.
I also don’t get Willig, and I’ve tried.
I want to like Singh and don’t.
I like Archer but not as much as I think I should.
Steampunk is ghastly.
The In Death books do nothing for me although I love Robert’s other stuff as a rule (the bridal quartet is another exception). I too have given up on Hamilton and Evanovich and Kenyon.
I can still read Laurens, Quinn, JAK, Kleyas and others that have (rightly) been called out as formulaic; I find the key is to space them out generously. SEP and Linda Howards are both hit or miss for me – some I love, some I hate, and the ones I hate, I really really hate.
And I swear, the next person who tells me Wuthering Heights is a romance is going to get slapped. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!
I’m not even going to get started on my non-romance biases, but that made my day.
Kresley Cole’s “A Hunger Like No Other”- I heard great things about this series, and I really like paranormal romances so I should have enjoyed it. Instead I wanted horrible things to happen to the hero and the heroine. (Man I had so hate on this book, eep.) But I have never read another book in this series.
I did dislike the Sookie books until about book 5 or 6 and then it is so repeative I couldn’t care any more to purchase more.
Kinley MacGregor (I know she is Sherrilyn Kenyon.) – Oh dear god, ‘Sword of Darkness’ made me want to scream bloody murder. I can live with historical issues to a point but really, the baddies have future stuff and the best they can do is cloths chocolate. What about I don’t know, guns, medicine, sheeze. I read a few others but I can’t keep doing it and stopped many years ago.
Ok I think I should stop. This is a great idea to see the books we all are supposed to like and don’t.
PS. I never read the Outland books and now I think I should flee the other way.
The italics are meant to be quotes, of course.
Also Thursday Next made me homicidal.
Nora Roberts doesn’t do it for me either. I’ve tried two of her books and both times couldn’t get into them and didn’t finish. They didn’t offend me or anything. Just didn’t grab.
I have to say I haven’t read quite a few of the books but now I simply must!
For me it’s Christine Feehan books. The language is too flowery and I couldn’t get through the first in the Carpathian series as I’ve never actively hated a hero as much as him!
Don’t like Lora Leighs Breed Series as they creep me out immensely
The last one is genre specific but As She’s Told was recommended to me as I read BDSM books. Hated it, hated him, hated her and came away with a bad taste in my mouth.
I’m also in the Outlanders hating camp. Sherrilyn Kenyon has completely list my interest that whole world has just got ridiculous. I also hated The Perfect Play. I love me some good sex scenes but it was every other page and each one was exactly the same- just awful. I think people got swept away with the cover and just wanted it to be good to justify the eye candy on the front.
The book that made me grind my teeth together recently though was The Summer of You by Kate Noble. However “witty” and “heartwarming” this bloody book attempted to be nothing can compensate for the fact that the author put the lake district in the wrong county. I know that’s only going to bother fellow English natives like me but she kept repeating it. “A sleepy village in Lancashire” ” dancing in the county of Lancashire” and going “up to Manchester” Grrrrrrrr. Why couldn’t she look at a map?! I don’t even care about inaccuracies normally but it’s just so lazy and coupled with a toddler yelling “mommy” in 19th century England and numerous Fall’s and sidewalks
in this book I wanted to throw it against a wall. God I’ve needed that off my chest for ages!! Love this post!
The Timetravellers wife – horrible book, hated it, all that jumping about and the plot was so nonsensical.
The Help – boring, patronising and just meh.
Georgette Heyer – sorry but I just don’t get it.
You sound like my kind of reader….
I read the entire Twilight series…mainly in the same way you drive slow past a car accident. You’ve just got to know what happens. It was more train wreck than car crash. I instantly downgrade anyone who speaks of this as high literature.
Oh – and Catcher in the Rye? The only reason I finished that bad boy is because it was required reading.
Amen.
I love, love Jennifer Crusie but I was really let down by BET ME. So many friends had recommended that book as a great example of a heroine who wasn’t the usual size zero and fine with it but when I read it I thought that Min NEVER stopped talking about her weight whenever she was with Cal. To me someone who is comfortable and happy with themselves doesn’t spend EVERY second talking about the issue that they are supposedly so fine about, which sucks because otherwise she was a pretty great character.
@ LEW,
Gah! I forgot about the Big Bang Theory. Yes, that’s a great show. I’m a sociologist (so Erin McCarthy’s books bothered me extra-much) but even my chemist spouse has gotten into Big Bang Theory.
As for books with academia, Bitten drove me batshit crazy with Clay’s career premise, though I do love the book otherwise, unlike some other posters here. But I know personally that UofToronto does not allow random, unaffiliated academics to visit their university at their whim and somehow find grant money for said random academics to do ‘freelance’ research and teach classes (of their choosing, no less!) whenever they feel like it. Trust me, I’ve tried. They already have grad students for that 🙂
Oliva Canning (Cunning?)‘s SInners on Tour books were beyond ridiculous academic-wise. Assistant prof at a teaching college loses all her income because she missed one tiny grant application, and yet has money to complete an independent study of rock star groupies in between banging the band (oh, and pay an assistant in the second book!).
Kat Richardson’s 2nd Greywalker novel featured a para-psych experiment gone wrong at a university, and words cannot describe how ludicrous the set up was. I’ve never really forgiven the author for that… There is a thing called human ethics! And hiring committees! Sheesh.
Joanna Fluke’s cozy mysteries feature a heroine who dropped out of grad school after having sex with her supervisor, and then becomes a reborn-ish virgin baker who solves murders on the side. Not gonna lie, back in the day many of my girlfriends and I entertained the fantasy of quitting grad school and becoming bakers. But still. No. Just no.
Man oh man, it feels good to rant about this…
WOW! Love this thread! I agree with so many on here, including Lord of Scoundrels and Nora’s books. Couldn’t get into the Outlander or Twilight series. Meh.
There are other authors who I’ve read and found to be OK, but nothing spectacular…and yet I see everyone RAVING on and on about them. I keep wondering what is wrong with me? LOL!
To each his own, eh?
Oooh, this is always a fun topic! For me, it was:
Flowers From the Storm by Laura Kinsale – I got to page 150 and had to stop. I couldn’t take it anymore. The writing style was literally (OK, not really) making my eyes bleed.
The Dark Highlander by Karen Marie Moning – I am capable of enjoying books by KMM, but the heroine in this one was dumber than a bag of hammers. Also, the hero was supposed to be all dark and broody – but the only “emotion” he seemed capable of was “constantly horny.”
Hard Evidence by Pamela Clare – OMG, seriously brain-dead heroine. Massively brain-dead. I read a historical by Clare and liked it – so I’m wondering if she’s one of those Like Her Historicals, Her Rom/Sus Not So Much authors for me. Have to read more of hers to prove that theory though…..
J.R. Ward – Intellectually I “get” why the BDB series is popular. But for me, I cannot get past the vapid heroines and inane dialogue. Seriously, any grown man who says “you feel me?” just deserves a punch in the face. Or a kick in the crotch. Take your pick.
Okay, I promised myself I wouldn’t make a third post here.
But: Catcher in the GODDAMN RYE, oh my fucking GOD, yes. SHUT! UP! HOLDEN! CAUFIELD! And then DIE! IN A FIRE!
I have…some feelings there.
Went to boarding school, so of course we had to read it freshman year. And…oh my God. With the whining. And the surling. And the conviction that anyone who was doing anything functional with his or her life was “phony”. HATE.
It doesn’t hurt that I am to fiction about disaffected emo boys what paleontologists are to Jurassic Park . You know, you’re sitting there, trying to let everyone else watch the movie in peace, you know they don’t care about realism and you understand that…but dammit, velociraptors don’t work that way, and this shit is a lot less charming after the sixth afternoon of moody silence, and it would be nice to send a goddamn Christmas card without getting three pages of Marx on religion, and DAMMIT LOYD DOBLER PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP.
…yeah. There are reasons I don’t watch rom-coms in company.
There are a few books I can’t stand/loathe. But the authors I don’t get and everyone else seems to love—Jo Beverley, Laura Kinsale, and Georgette Heyer. I want to gouge my eyes out after reading a book by them.
And while I lurve SEP, there are two books I CANNOT stand.
This Heart of Mine because of the rape.
And one that everyone loves but I hate with a passion of a 1,000 suns—-Nobody’s Baby But Mine. The heroine is a physicist and a supposed genius who wants to have a baby (because, you know, that’s what we single women who are nearing the other side of 30 NEED in our lives so we’re women) and so she decides to have unprotected sex with a jock because they’re all “dumb.” I mean, I just couldn’t buy that this woman was smart after that.
And I used to love Julia Quinn and Eloisa James but I can’t even finish their books now. I find them both . . . tedious.
And yes on the hate for Catcher in the Rye. God, Salinger ruined the name Holden for me. The rat bastard.
Also hate hate hate hate anything by Dickens.
The Scarlet Letter is like an episode of Maury Povich’s Who’s the Daddy episode except Dimmesdale dies and never has to suffer like Hester does.
And if I have to hear another praise on Lolita with the pedophilia anti-hero, I will scream.
I don’t particularly like May-December romances, and not a big fan of rakes, reformed or not, so Georgette Heyer’s “These Old Shades” were a mostly ewww to me. And I didn’t like Venetia as much as everyone else, even though in the latter case I loved both Venetia and Damerel themselves.
Moving away a bit to the fantasy-steampunk territory, everyone seemed to be in love with Soulless by Gail Carriger, and I… found it too cutesy and the heroine too much of a clone of my beloved Amelia Peabody. No peeves were petted, no buttons were pushed, but I was too bored, while everyone else was enjoying and asking for more. I tried the second book in the series to see if I was missing something, but gave up. Not my kind of whimsy.
Oh, The Scarlet Letter.
I read that when I was twelveish, because…well, I figured that it had adultery in it and therefore would be interesting, because…sex, right?
Mom still laughs at me for that one.
@Rae : They all loved Twilight too. 🙁 I read all of Twilight, just to see what the big deal was and couldn’t stop talking for two years about just how much I hated it.
The one thing I did like about the first Twilight book, oddly enough, was the conceit of the months of blank pages after Edward breaks up with Bella. As a feminist and a person who believes in being active in your own damn life in me despised Bella and her utter passivity; I mean, really? Nothing happened in those months? Absolutely nothing?
But, I’m not all that far removed from high school (in the grand scheme of things—9 years out), and I do remember the sad blankness you feel after your first all-encompassing relationship and subsequent horrible break-up. I thought the blank pages were an interesting treatment of how it feels after the end of a relationship.
And THAT, Stephanie Meyers, is the only piece of praise you’re getting from me!