Catriona wrote in the Heyer/Grand Sophy thread:
Sarah, can we do a thread on romances that we want to love, we should have loved, everybody else loves them…but that we can’t stand because something just left a bad taste in our mouths?
I like this idea for two reasons. No, three. First, we’ve done it before. But let’s do a new one. It’s been years.
Second: not enjoying a book that it seems like everyone loved or enjoyed can be an isolating experience, but as I’ve learned on the internet, you’re never alone in your likes and dislikes, no matter how outlandish they might seem. 0_o
And third: everyone’s buttons are different (woo, kinky!). What ticks me off may not bother you in the slightest, and vice versa. For example, and I’ve used this example before: there are many who are intensely bothered by historical inaccuracies in romances. I am not one of these people. The Duke can in fact drive a Porsche to Almack’s, and I’m fine with it. Whatever.
My hot button is stilted, unrealistic and awkward dialogue. If characters, like, for example, the Duke of Porsche, say things that real human beings wouldn’t say, and use cliches to the point that they don’t sound like actual people, I get really annoyed. Yanks me right out of the story and into Land of Crankypants. But the Porsche? Meh. Whatever.
I am not alone in that preference, but I do think that among romance readers, especially historical romance fans, I’m in the minority. And this is not to insult any author who busts her ass doing the research. Go on with your bad self – and your Porsche.
Catriona’s example is a bit more specific:
My example is As You Desire by Connie Brockway. Everybody is in love with this book and it always appears on people’s top romances list. I should love it – I enjoyed Brockway’s other books, I’m crazy about Egypt and archaeology and I love romances that are supposed to be funny and witty. It had everything going for it.
But I’m telling you, this book is like my own personal berserk button. To this day, I still can’t think about it or hear somebody sing its praises without my blood pressure spiking. My issue is with the way the author set up an “older” woman (I think she was in her early 30’s) to be the younger heroine’s foil. Basically, the older woman was rejected by the hero and pretty much every male in the book because she wasn’t as “perfect” as the seemingly smarter, blonder, younger heroine. I would expect this kind of ageism/blondeism in a book from the 1970’s, but this book was from 1997! This passage in particular, in which Marta, the other woman, sees the heroine at a restaurant, encompasses everything that bothers me about this book:
“I say,” Lord Ravenscroft suddenly breathed, “Now, there is a treasure worth coveting. Have you ever seen such a piece of tiny, golden perfection?”
…Marta followed the direction of everyone’s gaze to where Miss Carlisle’s progress through the room was marked by a wave of men scurrying to their feet as she passed.
To blatantly steal a phrase from you, Sarah: OH COME ON NOW AND I MEAN IT! Is this supposed to be a parody? Because it fails if it is. I ended up feeling whole lot more sympathy for Marta, while I wanted to bury Desdemona Carlisle headfirst in the sand. Normally the perfect, blonde, child prodigy, men-literally-fall-at-her-feet woman is the RIVAL, not the heroine.
Maybe I’m letting this bother me way too much…. But somewhere deep down, it grates on me that the heroine has to be this drop-dead gorgeous, “oh save me” frail young creature. I often wonder why people loved this book so much when I, who was much closer to Desdemona’s age when I read it, was so bothered by the discrimination against the older, more experienced, more capable other woman.
I got to wondering, is this just a case of me finding it difficult to relate to the heroine, and seeing myself as a rival to her to the hero? Nah, I thought Harry was an idiot too. His famous “you are my Egypt” speech just made me cringe. I would’ve heaved if anyone said anything so ridiculous to me, but apparently a lot of readers disagree judging by the links out there:
I fully expect the pitchforks and torches to come after me on this one, but bring it! Catriona “Encyclopedia Hittanica” is ready!
Ok, I’m about to come off even more objectionably: I have never read this book, but now I’m so very curious.
So, what’s your book that everyone adored, but you couldn’t enjoy it? You certainly don’t have to limit your example or response to this one. No shame and no shaming, please! Bring on your least liked books that made you feel the most isolated in your lack of enjoyment.
@etv13 and others: As I mentioned in my earlier post, I only read the first chapter of Bet Me, which was at the end of another Cruisie book. It’s been some years, and my memory was fuzzy, but I think they made it out that Cal takes the bet, and we don’t know why, so we assume it’s because he’s a jerk and he becomes not-a-jerk later on through the power of luurve. This clearly isn’t the case, so my bad, that’s just the impression the first chapter gave. I was also influenced by the fact that it was tacked to Tell Me Lies, which I HATED. At the time I thought Bet Me was just going to be a re-tread of these unlikeable characters, so that’s why I’ve shunned this book for years.
There’s a new Tessa Dare?
(Not a newbie…just a born-again oldie who is totally spamming this thread.)
I think one of my biggest buttons is wackiness for the sake of wackiness. I love funny books. I like PNR, but wacky PNR grates on my nerves. Katie Macalister. Nina Bangs. Mary Janice Davidson. I want to like them. I do, but meh.. Oh, toss Lynsay Sands’ Argeneau series on the fire too….please… Seriously, torch those bastards.
Though, I did quite like Love is Blind, an older light historical of hers.
LKH and Feehan for the reasons mentioned over and over here. That, Anita…she REALLY dislikes other women, doesn’t she.
Barring very few of her titles, Kenyon’s Dark Hunter mythology makes me truly mental. And she has like 15 different series and they are all interconnected and I swear that they’re all the same 3-4 freakin’ books. When I’m committed, the intake form is going to contain one word. Kenyon.
I’m almost ready to give up on Gena Showalter’s Lords of the Underworld series. You mean I have to slog through a total of 11 books before you give me Torin as the 12th? Oh, fuck me, this is going to hurt.
J.R. Ward. I’ll tie the rubber tube on my arm myself while waiting in line with everyone else to get another hit of the crack when the next one comes out, but the way she uses BDSM in the series BOTHERS ME. I’m in the lifestyle and it unnerved me so much that I posted on the Ward message boards to solicit the opinions from other readers who were in the lifestyle. Hoping that I could get a semi-objective opinion on those boards was probably my 1st mistake, but the few who responded to my post had absolutely no problem with the way V handled the submissives he played with. They thought it was sexy. No aftercare? None at all? No. No. No. That’s not BDSM. That’s abuse at the hands of a true sociopath.
I have issues with some of LKH’s earlier books for very similar issues.
floor74? No, it should be wall74 for the number of the books from the above-mentioned authors I’ve wanted to throw.
Ok, just one more and I’ll stop.
From This Moment On by Lynn Kurland which is a sequel to a semi-decent story about a blind-knight-who-falls-in-love called This is All I Ask. The sequel’s about this burly gruff knight who’s the BFF of the blind knight. His name is Colin. Colin can’t keep a fiance coz he’s big and gruff and hard and scary-looking. He’s described as a guy ‘who can’t understand why all his fiancees flee or faint at the sight of him.’
Did I mention that Colin does not like to bathe? Seriously. It’s a running joke in the 1st book that the blind knight always knows when Colin’s around coz of his smell. I’m guessing the fiances fainted b/c of the stench. Stanky Colin is mysteriously attracted to his crossdressing heroine who is pretending to be his page. The heroine even remarks on his lack of hygiene a couple of times in the book. I really dislike the boy-in-disguise plot as it is, but wanna know what his amazingly loving wedding gift to his bride-to-be is on his wedding day? A gorgeous ring or piece of jewelry? A loving declaration before all and kin? No, he takes a bath. That’s how much he loves her. Seriously.
Hated/DNF:
Catherine Coulter
Anne Bishop’s Dark Jewels trilogy—tried the first one and if I wasn’t at the library, I’d have thrown it across the room. It was icky w/ the rape as the trigger for the heroine’s powers developing
Susan Elizabeth Philips—hated the bittered heroines, but did finish some of them. I won’t buy them, however.
When Harry Met Molly—couldn’t get into this one at all. My mother bought this one for me.
George Martin’s Game of Thrones—dude, I do not expect brother/sister royal incest in a European-feeling fantasy setting. That one was a DNF with the first book.
Can’t get into: a lot of the paranormal/vampire romances.
I like Loretta Chase, Gail Carriger, Meljean Brooke’s Iron Seas series (although I admit I like the short story w/ Ivy as the heroine and Rhys’s first mate as the hero much better), Midsummer Moon, the J.D. Robb series, Crusie’s Bet Me and Agnes and the Hitman, and Marjorie Liu’s Dirk and Steele series.
However, the authors I’m really into (for about the past year) are Robin Owens, Jean Johnson, and Linnea Sinclair. (sends out mental write-faster encouragement to all three authors) Great world-building & heroes/heroines who are worth reading about.
Captcha: enough85
85 romance novels would be enough to keep me busy for a while…
Hmm. Not sure “Memoirs of a Geisha” counts as a romance but it’s definitely a book I just Do Not Get. Everyone loves it. They made a movie out of it. My friends loved it. I tried approximately 5 times to read it and I never ever made it past the first chapter. I gave it 4 more times than I usually give a book that doesn’t pass the first chapter test (there are always exceptions but there’s got to be something in a first chapter that makes me forgive it its shortcomings to continue reading it) because everyone loves it. Nope. I gave up. Cried uncle.
This isn’t a book so much as an author. Mary Balogh. Everyone falls all over her so I checked out “The Devil’s Web” because it was recommended by some people. I finished it. Barely. It was so awful that I haven’t touched Balogh since and I can’t even remember why I hated it just that I did.
“Don’t Tempt Me” should never have been written or published. Unless it was first written in the 80s and Chase was only just now able to get it published. Awful. The worst of her books I’ve ever read. I hate to have it on my shelf touching her other books that I love but I’m a completest and can’t get rid of it.
@snarkhunter: The new Tessa Dare – [ url=http://www.amazon.com/Night-Surrender-Spindle-Cove-ebook/dp/B004QWZJY0/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1314848298&sr=1-1] A Night to Surrender[/url]
The premise sounds a little like the refuge house in Sarah Maclean’s “Ten Ways to Be Adored When Landing a Lord,” but I loved that one, so bring it on.
Speaking of which, note to historical authors in the group: I will buy anything with the word bluestocking in the title or cover blurb. “Bluestocking” being the Regency equivalent of “smart bitch,” of course.
I also can’t resist heroes who have *gasp* responsibilities or even a *shudder* real job. And if he’s really actually truly SMART or artistic? God help me, I’m a goner. Nicholas in “Ten Ways” as an expert in Greek antiquities AND a bounty hunter? I almost fainted.
And I loved the scene in Sabrina Jeffries’ “How to Woo a Reluctant Lady” when Minerva gets to watch Giles in action in the courtroom. Excuse me, I think I feel a hot flash coming on…..
Kelly
@LizC: I love Balogh, but I got two chapters into The Devil’s Web and was like, “No, life is too short.”
These are not necessarily romance novels, but they are books I cannot stand that so many others have raved about. So here goes: My HTF is This Popular…? List
1. Twilight. There is so much wrong with these books, but I think my biggest problem is the emotionally abusive relationship that is touted as an ideal to aspire to (plus the really crappy writing).
2. Any and all Jodi Picoult. I have forced myself to read several of her books because they get such raves, but “My Sister’s Keeper” was the only one I finished (and what a pinful experience that was!). Don’t get me started on how much I abhor that book—the dude has grand mal seizures all the time but he still has a driver’s license?!? Are you kidding me?!
3. Most Emily Giffin. For whatever reason, I enjoyed Something Blue and Baby Proof, but her other books drive me up the wall. I often find I Hate her heroines, to the point that it ruins the book. Plus, I cannot stand her habit of justifying unjustifiable behavior (mainly, adultery). Her characters are constantly cheating, and she is always trying to show that this is “okay” because the person they are cheating on is bitchy/too nice/doesn’t “understand” them anymore/whatever lame excuse she provides.
4. One Day. I hated this book with a passion. The characters suck, the writing is crap, and the plot is boring. I have to admit…this is probably a DNF, because I skipped quite a lot in the middle and read the ending, which was as bad as I had expected.
5. Lora Leigh. I only read one of the Breeds books that a friend loaned me, but that was enough. Yuck. Awful writing, crummy character development, and no plot, just a bunch of badly written freaky-animal-sex. I like sex in books, but this was just too WTF for me.
6. A list of other things that bother me: overly Alpha male characters; any book that has a title like “Kajillionaire Djiboutian Playboy” or “Blackmailed Secretary-Bride” is read strictly for its mocking potential; “big understandings” that are really just small misunderstanding that would be solved if the protagonists just talked to one another; it drives me crazy when a minority character is just a total stereotype; I cannot stand inaccuracies within a story…they annoy me to no end, because I feel like if it is something that I notice it is something the author should have got right (this is especially a pet peeve when it has to do with things I know a lot about—a specific example would be a book I read that was set in my hometown and it was clear the author had never been here nor done more than glance at a map because she had the herione hopping on the interstate all the time to get from work to home…but the interstate is not really used like that here because it is on the outskirts of town)…I could probably go on, but I think I’ll stop. 🙂
Ack. Ok so there have been so many comments already that I’m sure none of my books will be original but here goes:
A Knight In Shining Armour – Jude Deveraux
Lead Me On – Victoria Dahl. I really loved the hero but I couldn’t stand Jane and her snobbishness.
Splendid – Julia Quinn. Although I adore her books. Yes, even the Bridgerton series that’s getting so much hate right now.
Reckless – Anne Stuart. Pretty much everyone in that book was unlikeable.
The Nerd series by Vicki Lewis Thompson. I know nerds, hell I am one, and those people are not nearly nerdy enough. I mean My Nerdy Valentine is supposed to have a trivia nut for a hero but he pretty much never drops random trivia into conversation. Nor does he randomly answer questions no one is expected to know.
Suzanne Brockmann’s books bugs me. The very few I’ve tried to read have highly manipulative heros and wimpy heroines. Blah.
Sandra Brown is another. I think I’ve made it through 2 of her books including Thursday’s Child which just made me uncomfortable.
And finally, because I’m physically incapable of not saying this: I’m a Kelley Armstrong fangirl and my heart is literally breaking because so many people didn’t adore the Women of the Otherworld series and want to have its babies. I get why and everyone’s entitled to their own opinions and blah blah but I’m still sad. Plus none of you ever got to meet Lucus who is a nerd. A socially awkward weirdo lawyer who’s throughly plain-looking and seriously in love with Paige even when she’s emotionally stunted.
OMG, this thread is TOTALLY. AWESOME.
With everyone else who detested Outlander, the Hunger Games and, most especially Twilight.
Anything by Diana Palmer. Brutish-lout-virgin-raping-blaming-controlling-macho-freak-“hero” meets whiny-passive-innocent-boring-young-naive-dull “heroine” amidst dull plots, stupid dialogue, and cultural mores right out of a 1970s time capsule. I keep looking for the polyester leisure suits and sideburns.
Jean Auel’s last three or four books. “Clan of the Cave Bear” was a decent read, “The Valley of Horses” was a guilty pleasure, but ever since then, the books have slid downhill into a pile of Paleolithic suckitude. Her heroine is the Original Epic Ancestress of Mary Sues; her boy-toy boyfriend is a tool as well as a tool-maker and every random image, thought, occurrence and change in the weather is described in merciless clarity. And repeated. Over and over.
I hate anything Dan Brown wrote with the passion of ten thousand suns. Nothing like a little cultural appropriation – take an female-centric religious myth and turn it into a male action-adventure story with your doppelganger nicely inserted as the hero. Barf.
Cathy Lamb wrote some book about a down-on-her-luck heroine who made chocolate that I thought was a totally unbelievable Cinderella story. They had some sort of party in the middle of the book where the heroine and all of her friends were looking at their v-jays with hand mirrors. If I was at a party like that, I would literally Run Away Screaming.
Sherrilyn Kenyon’s writing hurts like fingernails on a chalkboard. Plus, since my parents used to read me to sleep with Greek myths, her depiction of the “Gods” makes my hair hurt.
Lately, La Nora has definitely fallen off. She seems to have a very misogynistic streak surfacing – the recent quartet, where the women were all frothy, frilly, feminine creatures who were incessantly chatting about clothes and shoes, featured an Evil Female Villain, yet (slight spoilers!) when her ex-husband – you know the guy who LEFT his daughter to be raised by this evil beeetch – turned up, he was welcomed with open arms. I did like the third book, though – that heroine was cool. As far as Eve/Roarke goes, I HATE the way he pushes his way into her cases, but I also hate the “I’m the bestest cop that ever was!” that’s been surfacing lately. Her latest one was so awful, I didn’t finish it.
Recent Rachel Lee is totally boring, sad to say. This is a bummer, because “Defying Gravity” is always a comfort read. Also, I used to want my own Micah (in Cherokee Thunder).
Charlotte Vale Allen has totally declined since “Mood Indigo.”
I used to like Lindsay McKenna, but now I think her work is sort of weird – I half-expect one of those shaman heroines to go all Cat People and transform while making love – and her depiction of relationships is kind of silly.
In general, I hate rape, abuse, misogyny, men controlling women, men treating women like idiots, tons of violence, Mary Sue’s and really obvious errors or continuity breaks.
I could also go on, but I’ll spare you. This is really fun!
@Gigi – If I swung that way I’d totally be begging you to marry me. I hate Catcher In The Rye SO much! I think Salinger is one of the worse writers ever. I read it as a preteen because I knew I’d have to read it in high school and thought to myself that Holden needed a good hard spanking and to be sent to military school. When I had to read it in high school I asked the teacher why, especially as I had read it before on my own. She said, “Because every teenager can relate to Holden” – referring to scenes like him whining about the ice skates and his parents not getting him – I replied “I don’t.” She snapped at me, “Don’t be stupid, of course you do!” Like I was an idiot because I didn’t relate to a poorly written character.
@Liz – I’m a republican and I HATE Danielle Steel. Most of the women – and it’s all women – who check her out at the library I work at are democrats (I know because they were wearing Obama buttons a few years ago) and are either over 70 or are heading to the beach and looking for something to read while they ignore their kids. 99% of our hard cover DS books have to be recovered because of beach sand trapped inside.
Again, not a romance, but so many people bugged me about reading the Inkspell books I gave them a try. Halfway through the second I realized I didn’t care about the characters and actually wish they’d all die. Even the little girl.
Oh! And Fern Michaels’ WhiteFire – it has a bunch of 5 star reviews on Amazon. So many I had to go in and review it myself. The “hero” starts out the entire thing by mistaking the heroine for a peasant and RAPES her. Sure, it was published in the 70s but most 70s romances I read are more forced seduction than rape. This is actual flipping up her skirts, raping her in front of one of his buddies rape. How anyone can give that a five star review – unless they’re a rapist themselves – is beyond me.
Ah, now that’s what this thread was missing – reader stereotyping.
To all those who said how much they hated Shakespeare – blame the Victorians for the ridiculous idea that his plays were to be read like books. They’re *plays*. You’ll never get full enjoyment from them if you don’t see them performed. Reading them – reading almost any play – sucks.
But those of you who hated Lord of the Rings? Yay! Yes, yes, yes! Tolkein is a pretentious windbag.
And this, dear readers, is why realism in historicals has its limits 🙂
This thread is so full of wonderful snark.
@ Kris
I had 4 people give me a copy of The Shack one Christmas when it was all the rage. It was so enlightening, it was so spiritual, it will make you rethink your approach to life. WTF? Seriously? I SOOOOOOOO wanted the father to go apeshit and seek some vengeance for his murdered daughter, not go to some damn shack and find his God.
@ Kelly
My limit was Weresnakes. In one of Singh’s Psy/Changeling books the hero tells the heroine about seeing one and how beautiful she was. It totally squicked me out. At least with swans, rats, ducks…whatever I can get a laugh but there is nothing remotely beautiful about a weresnake to me. Ewww.
Also, Terry Brooks’s Landover books. Diehard fantasy fans recommended him to me and in the first 50 pages I struggled not to off myself from boredom.
James Patterson. The man writes outlines and other lesser known authors do all the work, get far less pay, and a fraction of the publicity.
Kathy Reichs. I love Bones on tv. I hate the books. The first one was just so clinical and boring. If they had transferred the books directly to tv it would have been cancelled in 3 episodes.
Catherine Fisher’s Incarceron and Sapphique. A steampunk-ish fantasy about a prison…COOL. But while the first book had so much premise, the second book sucked the big one. I kept thinking someone else had written it and slapped her name on it.
I really wanted to love Anne Bishop. I tried Sebastian first, and just couldn’t find it in me to root for another manwhore.
Piers Anthony. Incredibly well respected author/blogger. Check. Fantastic titles that lead me to believe I would get the humor (The Magic Fart, The Color of Her Panties). Check. But I just could not get into the Xanth series. Big breasted bimbos dealing with a weak “hero” and overly descriptive prose…uh no thanks.
I’m kind of surprised Julia Quinn is mentioned so much. But then again I don’t read her books for accuracy so much as fluff. Although the witty banter between the Smythe-Smith cousins in her most recent book drove be batshit crazy.
I didn’t really love Armstrong until Stolen and Dime Store Magic.
@ Kelly C.
When my friend gave me a copy of Twilight she told me to read it while tipsy (ok-she said drunk) and to read it from the stalker’s POV. That totally made the difference, and I spent the next week laughing through all the books. It’s really hard to take someone seriously now when they tell me that Twilight is their favorite book or that Edward is so romantic.
I was SO disappointed by the Pink Carnation – I wanted to like it so much. But when your heroine (apparently very well-read in the classics) makes a BASIC ERROR in her classical greek mythology at a time when she’s supposed to be making an amazing point illustrating her brilliance and the hero (also apparently quite the scholar) complete fails to call her on it…..it made me want to bite things.
I read a few chapters after that (in the vain hope she would get mocked for her stupidity) but in the end it was a DNF. It made me sad – I had been really looking forward to reading it.
@ Beth—
Okay, I’ll bite. What’s the basic error in the heroine’s knowledge of mythology in the Pink Carnation?
Beth, you are my PEOPLE. Despite Willig’s academic training in the Romantic period, she makes basic historical errors left and right. Like, timeline errors.
And that wouldn’t bother me so much except for the fact that she was a scholar and so is her contemporary main character.
It’s why I can still love Julia Quinn with an absolutely stupid passion. I”m not looking for historical accuracy in my fluff, and I don’t want or expect romance characters to behave like actual people of the period. But I do expect that if you’re going to have historical personages show up, they do so in a time and manner that would be historically possible.
OMG, this thread is a shopping list for me. All the hate on so many books I love/like! LOL.
About all I agree with is Wuthering Heights and anything by Laura Kinsale. I’ve read two of her books and I was boggled that anyone would enjoy them. Boring… And oh yeah, I read the first Twilight and wondered what all the fuss was about.
QFT, and because it reminds me…
I find that pretty much every single author I’ve read who has the reputation of writing “historically accurate” books just don’t do it for me. Jo Beverley immediately comes to mind. I’ve read many of her books, and I love her “voice,” but most of her stories leave me cold. Nothing ever happens. It’s like so much energy is used in the lovely descriptions of the settings that there’s nothing left for an actual plot. I keep trying though, because her writing really is beautiful. And I keep getting disappointed, both because of boredom and because I loathe Rothgar and he either shows up or is mentioned in every damn book now.
I also won’t touch anything described as “traditional regency,” and I refuse to read Georgette Heyer no matter how many reviews in a row they do here and at DA. Even the titles sound boring.
I am positively agog that only one or two people have mentioned the Night Huntress books by Jeaniene Frost. Read the first one, was underwhelmed and annoyed by the TSTL heroine but I figured it must get better because of all the raves and 5-star reviews. OMG, tried the second book and I wanted to scrub my brain with Lysol before the end of the 1st chapter. I kept thinking I was reading a MAD Magazine spoof of an acutal paranaormal romance book instead of an actual paranormal romance book. Looking back I think I would have enjoyed it much more if I’d read it from that POV.
After some of the comments about The Iron Duke (Kerry Allen’s, with Madd’s response), I was a bit worried, but last night I got to (and a good deal past) the bit with the sex scene, and I’d have to agree with Madd. Had he not responded with horror (heck, if she had grabbed her gun and killed him, he wouldn’t have done a thing to stop her) I might have viewed the scene differently, but, as it was, yes, what he did was wrong, but he recognized that and hadn’t actually tried to hurt her on purpose. Had she not wanted him to touch her again after that, I think he’d have gone out of his way to avoid her.
I know my comment is 200 or so comments late, but I thought I’d make it anyway. 🙂
@Kelly:
Much love. Sincerely, Darlene
This blog post is becoming my new crack! Countdown to getting fired in 3, 2, …
I admit to actually purposefully reading some of the despised books just to see… why didn’t anybody warn me Sherrilyn Kenyon thinks it’s possible for a 29 year old to have 2 PhDs in completely unrelated subjects? Fork inserted in eyeball…
@DeeCee, Dimestore Magic is my absolute, all-time favourite UF read. I go back to it like comfort food every few months. But I’ve others say they didn’t enjoy it as much as the Elena-centric books.
@KRGrille, I also have a ‘huh?’ reaction to the Nighthuntress love. I don’t hate them, I just don’t find the plots or writing engaging. Well, the whoring out of the protag by the love interest in book 1 was just… ewww. I feel the like characters’ stories could have been told in two or three books total, and the rest feels contrived.
I guess that’s another gripe: series that go on too long, especially when they are romance-oriented. I know fans get attached to characters, but sometimes the stories get forced on them when the plots would work better in a different world. I really appreciate that Kelley Armstrong changes the main characters in each couple of books.
It’s funny what gets each of us going. For instance, I really liked Armstrong’s Bitten because the wolf behavior was nicely done. But overall, Elena and Clay are two of my least favorite of the characters in that story arc. She’s cold and he’s a mysogynistic dickhead.
The stories with werewolf alphas that are violent asshats? Yeah, real alphas are far more like Bran in the Patricia Briggs books.
I adore anything that Patricia Briggs right, but she almost threw me completely out of the story when she talked about Mercy, as coyote, extending into a full gallop with a six foot stride. Um, medium to large canids can cover WAY more than 6 feet in a single stride; my Doberman can cover 12-18 feet and I’ve got video to prove it. Six feet is nuttin.
And do not even talk to me about authors who have characters who own “purebred Golden Labs.” Um, no, you do not. You own a yellow lab or a golden retriever, or possibly a mixed breed that has both in it, but you do not own a purebred Golden Lab.
I don’t know whether to be smug about not having wasted my time with so many of the books listed or aghast at how many of them I love!! Also, thanks for the thumbs down on “The Help”. I’ve been feeling, not bad, maybe peer pressured, about my lack of desire to read it. I feel much better now.
@robinjn – It’s been ages since I’ve read Armstrong’s books that feature the werewolves more (also my favorites out of the Women of the Otherworld books, although it took reading Men of the Otherworld for me to start liking Clay a little more), so I’m not sure if I’m remembering right, but I don’t recall Clay being referred to as an Alpha.
Comparing Clay and Bran is a bit like comparing apples and oranges – it’d make more sense to compare Jeremy and Bran. I think the Briggs character who best corresponds to Clay in terms of what he does for the pack is Charles.
@DeeCee – I finally gave up on Piers Anthony because it became clear to me that the man has a thing for grown men with little girls. In Firefly he justifies a pedophile having a sexual relationship with a child because the little girl was molested by both her father and brother. (He actually has the little girl character ordering the pedophile to have sex with her after he tells her what her father and brother are doing to her.) In his Immortality series in the very last book when one of the characters becomes God they decide it’s okay for a 40 year old man to be with a 15/16 year old girl “if they really love each other.” In the Xanth series there were more and more times when a grown man and underage girl would “fall in love.”
Now I’m all for May/December romances – however I firmly believe that the May part has to have lived long enough to be mentally and emotionally mature. A 30 year old woman with a 60 year old man – great! But an 18 year old girl with a 60 year old man – no. If – oh crap, I forgot the name of the guy who owns Playboy (and I even follow him on Twitter just to see what the big deal is) – anyway, if he wanted to marry a gal who was between 30 or 40, it wouldn’t seem as skeevy to me as his wanting to marry a girl in her early to mid 20s.
While there might be some 15 year olds who have lived a hard enough life that they would be more mature in some respects than your average 40 year old, they are still children. So even if the man who’s “really in love” with this child in the immortality series did save her from a serial killer and life as a hooker, he still shouldn’t be having sex with her. Despite what Anthony seems to think.
These comments are still coming so fast that I can’t keep up. But @LG, I obviously was not typing very clearly at all.
Clay definitely not an alpha; Jeremy is the alpha in the Armstrong series and you’re right, Clay and Charles share somewhat equivalent roles (though I like Charles better than Clay, at least somewhat). I was expecting people to read my mind as I thought about alpha wolves in several other paranormal/UF series that are violent, posturing, bullying jerks. True alphas (and actually I hate the term, it’s more like leaders, not alphas) don’t have to do a damn thing to command respect, they just do. Men, and dogs, and wolves, who bristle up all over the place and throw their weight around and start fights? They’re the wimpy wanna-be losers. I owned a dog once (a female actually) who would walk into a room crowded with dogs and they would just all part to let her go by. She liked other dogs, was friendly, never postured, only saw her growl a couple of times at truly obnoxious idiot dogs, and that was more of a LOOK and a lifted lip. She just had IT.
And it just makes me sad when authors make these bullying assholes into their alpha hero, because honey, there’s nothing alpha about it. (BTW, dogs and wolves who hackle up? They are afraid. Hackling is a way to make themselves look bigger when they feel fear defensive).
@robinjn – Ahh, ok, I get it now.
So true about the dogs—I’ve had a pack of them in my household for over a decade. It’s the insecure, fearful ones who posture. An alpha dog just has presence.
You all are convincing me to try Jim Butcher again; I tried the first two and they were a huge yawn for me. If they really get better it might be worth the slog.
It’s not a romance but…anything Dexter. TV. Book. Doesn’t matter. I can NOT get past a serial killer as a “hero.” Serial killers are sociopaths. They don’t feel anything like righteous indignation unless it’s all about them. The fact that he’s channeled his killing sprees against people that “deserve to die” really doesn’t make it any better. It just leaves me completely cold.
As to romances, Catherine Coulter historicals. I used to love her Signet regencies when I was in my twenties but as time goes by I can’t look at them the same. The heroine’s first sexual experience is always horrid. Always. And for the same reason every time – because the guy has a huge wang and he’s insensitive (drunk, sick, a jerk) the first time he takes her. Usually he’s too stupid to realize she’s a virgin. It got real old, real fast.
I had a few issues with Christine Feehan’s Dark series too. I loved them at first, but for awhile it got so that every hero had to be darker and closer to turning than the last. I took a chance on Dark Slayer after having laid off reading the books and I was glad I did. I loved it. The hero was so different from her usual heroes that I’m going to give the series another shot.
I absolutely hate I Love Lucy for that very reason. Everyone thinks that show is such comic gold, but i think it is just lunacy. thank God I’m not the only one
[quoteIt’s not a romance but…anything Dexter. TV. Book. Doesn’t
matter. I can NOT get past a serial killer as a “hero.” Serial
killers are sociopaths. They don’t feel anything like righteous indignation
unless it’s all about them. The fact that he’s channeled his killing
sprees against people that “deserve to die” really doesn’t make it any
better. It just leaves me completely cold.]
Especially once they gave him ‘relationships’ where he feels all warm and confused. Pardon me? I mean, the BTK killer stopped killing because he couldn’t fit it into the completely OCD schedule he had for his kids, but he didn’t really give a rat’s ass for them. It was just what he had to do(so instead he played dress-up in his victims’ clothes in his mother’s basement and terrorized neighborhood women over their lawn length)
@Liz—which brings up the classic question of how stupid can Ricky be to stay with a woman who’s that much of an idiot. I can’t tolerate Lucy.
I want to hug you ladies who also can’t stand Lucy. I thought for sure I was the only one.
Johanna Lindsey. I loved The Magic of You because it was magnificently cracktastic, but I really didn’t care for The Gentle Rogue or her others.
I don’t know how we got on the subject of Lucy since I haven’t read all the comments yet but good lord I hate that show. Lucy was so so stupid and I can’t get behind that kind of stupidity.
I’m so glad that I generally start a series in the middle. If I had started reading Piers Anthony from “A Spell for Chameleon” I don’t think I would love the series as much (I do warn people it’s a bit misogynistic). And I doubt I would have gone back to read the earlier Dresden books or the Mercy Thompson ones if the later ones hadn’t entranced me (although I haven’t read the latest of the two series). I started reading BDB from “Lover Mine” because I couldn’t pass up the cover and then read “Lover Avenged” because of the awesome Paul Marron cover by Craig White, but now I only want to read about Qhuinn and Blay – don’t care about the other characters, don’t care to read the earlier books.
“Twilight” nearly made me pitch the audiobook out the window. All those “Edward is so perfect” and variations thereof made me gag. I like the world she created (heck, I even liked the sparkly vamps) but Bella was just too much of an idiot for me to deal with. And “Breaking Dawn” made me badmouth this series to anyone who would listen – was it anti-pregnancy (Bella’s bones were being broken by her fetus) or anti-childbirth (Edward had to perform a C-section with his vamp teeth)? I’m totally Team Jacob because Jacob IS an actual teen boy so his angsty, weird actions could be excused; Edward is almost 100 years old. He should know better! And talk about May-December romances – this is wayyy creepier than anything thus far mentioned.
And the last Harry Potter book, way too many sentence fragments and entire paragraphs of one sentence. Sorry but J. K. Rowling is NOT Patrick O’Brian; she couldn’t really make it work, especially since this is YA at best.
I have never read any Austen (I tried, but other books were more enticing) or any chicklit or any love stories written by men (which you just KNOW one of the leads will die). The most romantic love story I’ve read by a man was Terry Pratchett’s Carrot and Angua. That was sweet.
I also really enjoyed LORD OF SCOUNDRELS but I thought Dain was an idiot who needed some take-charge Big Sister type to take over his life and make it run better. I loved some of the funny lines, too.