If you’ve been on the Twittah, you might have seen my minor campaign for anyone under the age of 40 to Get Thee a Mammogram This Year. If you can do it, and if it’s possible in your budget and under your insurance, get a mammogram. Not only does it give doctors a baseline for future comparison, but there are more women in my world who are diagnosed with breast cancer under the age of 40 than I ever believed possible. And, from what I have learned, women under 40 who do receive diagnoses often are in later stages by the time the cancer is caught. So if you’re thinking of getting your physical this year, ask about getting a prescription for a mammogram, too. (End soapbox).
With that in mind, I have a request for reading material from a woman currently kicking cancer’s ass: Bianca needs some help.
So about two months ago, right before my 31st birthday, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. (Let me tell you – worst birthday present EVAR. I’m working on returning it, but it’s kind of a pain.) I have since had a bi-lateral mastectomy, and I’m now going through chemotherapy, which will followed by radiation. I’m out of work on medical leave while I undergo treatment and reading is one of my main distractions/time fillers.
A couple weeks ago I was browsing through novels on my nook and came across a book called Hannah’s List by Debbie Macomber. Well after reading the description I’ll admit I almost lost it – young widower who’s wife recently died of cancer who’s supposed to find a new love? Just a leeetle too close to home. Just reading the sample almost made me cry. I backed out very quickly. It’s probably a great book, but it’s just not something I can read right now.
But it got me thinking – surely there are romance novels out there about cancer survivors, right? (If not, man, someone needs to get on that!) I’d love to read a romance novel where the heroine (or hero!) is a cancer survivor. Since my diagnoses I’ve heard so many positive stories about people who have kicked cancer’s ass and are living awesome, healthy lives, so I don’t know why I shouldn’t get that same positivity in my reading material, right? I want to read about people surviving, thriving, and living wonderful loving lives. Hopefully there are some stories like that out there. I know the Bitchery is the best place to turn to find what I’m looking for. I’d love to have some HEAs to read while I’m going through chemo.
Well, one book comes to mind immediately, but the recommendation is itself a bit of a spoiler, so it’s below the fold. That said, if you have suggestions, please leave them in the comments. And keep kicking ass, Bianca. We’re rooting for you.
In Karina Bliss’ Here Comes the Groom, the heroine is very secretive about shoulder surgery she had prior to the start of the novel. You can guess where that story leads, and my apologies for the spoiler, but oh, my gosh, is that series of scenes incredibly moving.
Ultra sound is what they send us to if we are younger than 50- followed by a mammogram if it shows anything dodgy. been there, done that and this reminds me that it is probably time for another one.
My step-SIL (42) was diagnosed last year as a result of a routine check up that she procrastinated on- there was no lump, there was no flag, just very very lucky she chose that month to get the screening. She is all clear at the moment tho, but it re-emphasises the need to get checked even if no lump is felt.
I can’t make any book recs, other than to second the stay away from lurlene Mcdaniels.
The link I am going to try and include is from an old friend of awesome things to say to a cancer patient (she also did one of the top ten not to say), which may come in handy to distribute to nervy friends and family.
http://www.theawl.com/2011/06/actually-awesome-things-to-say-to-a-cancer-patient
Bianca!!! You go girl!!!!!!!!! Hang tough. I’m a three-time cancer survivor. I was six months old when I was diagnosed with retinoblastoma, a rare childhood eye cancer. I lost my sight in both eyes to the cancer, and then was diagnosed with brain tumors when I was 25. I still have one brain tumor left (28 now), but that tumor will leave long before I do, God willing. I’m fighting with all I have, and in the meantime, yes, I’m writing a series of the exact type of books you’re looking for. Nope, not published yet, working on that. The Parting Glass, first book in the series is finished, and I am busting my ass to find a publisher brave enough to battle cancer with us kickass real life heroines.
My book, The Parting Glass is about the love between two childhood cancer survivors. The heroine had childhood brain cancer, and the hero had leukemia. They meet at a children’s cancer summer camp during high school, and are reunited sixteen years later. But when the heroine, rock fiddler Natasha “Sunshine” Holly is diagnosed with a new brain tumor, she must fight all over again. She and the hero fall in love even as she fights for her life. But will their love be enough to keep her alive and strong enough to fight back? The parting Glass covers the humor, grief, fear, joy, sorrow and strength it takes to face cancer… and life.
Spoilers: Each book in the series focuses on a hero and heroine affected by cancer, either through loved ones, or in their own battles. Each book is most definitely HEA, but real. Cancer doesn’t magically disappear, and my books don’t magically cure it. But there will always be hope, laughter and a few tears. That’s what it takes to kick cancer’s ass, and to write a good romance, I think. I drew on my personal experiences to write these books, and you can bet your cancer-kickin’ boots that if a publisher doesn’t pick them up… I will self-publish, if only to give you something to read while you chemo. Been there, done that… no fun!
My own romance story: I met my sweetheart while going through my brain tumor surgery a few years ago. If I hadn’t been sick, we probably would have never met. Cancer is horrific, but even the worst things in life come with blessings. Or hot real-world heros brave enough to take on a cancer chick and love her for the scars! Like mine. (shamelessly bragging) yes my guy is da bomb!
To all who have survived a disease, here’s love to you! The bitchery flat out rocks my world, and Sarah, I heart you even more than ever for publishing this. Thank you thank you, thank you! Now I have another reason to stalk you at the next conference and hug you. 🙂
Bianca, I wish you all the best with your treatment and recovery. I hope everything will go well. I don’t have any book recs, but I’m sure others will.
I want to get on a soapbox to join in with those who wrote about getting colonoscopies. It seems like there’s so much awareness about getting screened for breast cancer, or getting pap smears, but too many people don’t get colonoscopies when they really should. Yeah, it sucks. But it is a life saver. Catch these things early and they are super treatable; catch them late and you are screwed. To everyone here: if you or your loved ones are over 50, you should have one every five years. If you’re high risk (like I am), even before age 50. Talk to you doctor about it.
As for mammograms, I have spoken to specialists and have been told pretty much what Merrian said: that they are not as effective a screening tool for younger women. I had a breast ultrasound last year instead, as per my doctor’s suggestion. Maybe younger members of the bitchery should look into that option.
Strange enough, I’m having a mammogram next tuesday.
My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer 16 years ago, and while it’s been hard, she’s now fine and quite healthy, so Bianca don’t give up !
I really recommand Broken Destiny by Sally Wentworth, an old Harlequin Present.
It was really hard at times, I found myself with tears in my eyes once or two, but I loved this story! The characters and situations were well written and so realistic, and everything finished well.
Not sure if you read erotic romance, but Away From Me by Sophie Oak is a great book about a woman who has breast cancer.
Hang in there and stay strong!
If you read mysteries, the latest in Rita Mae Brown’s “Sneaky Pie” mysteries features the lead character getting a breast cancer diagnosis and describes how she deals with it. Her treatment also goes well.
It’s not a romance, but a memoir and incredible love story. It Takes A Worried Man by Brendan Halpin is the first person story of his, and his wife’s, struggles dealing with stage four breast cancer.
If you are diagnosed with a chronic condition, or an acute one, people are often wary of getting involved with you. A lot of people leave their spouses because they are unable to handle the situation, and many will refuse to get involved in your life at all. I have not had cancer, but I do have a chronic condition, and it took five years of my husband sticking with me through ER visits, surgeries, and treatments before my neurologist decided to trust him. So Halpin’s story is one that really resonates with me (interestingly, her name is also Kirsten…). Fair warning, it’s very intense.
Bianca, take care, be good to yourself, be well soon.
My sister was diagnosed at age 40 when she had her first mammogram. That was 17 years ago, and she’s one of the healthiest people I know. She had a mastectomy and a pretty amazing reconstructive procedure using her abdominal muscle. My heroine in THE LAST GOOD MAN had the same procedure. As we speak I am in the process of contracting with Belle Books to reissue the book. (Just came to an agreement yesterday! Yay!)
Lynne Connolly, thanks so much for mentioning the book here.
I don’t have a book to recommend, but I’m married to a survivor who’s been cancer-free for over 30 years. You go, girl! Kick cancer’s ass and hang in there, because we’re all cheering you on.
As a cancer survivor and caregiver, I can honestly say, re-reading my comfort books was all I could handle for quite some time during treatment, and during my sister’s treatment for liver cancer, I couldn’t handle reading a book with a herione with liver cancer.
I can recommend the Shop on Blosson Street by Debbie Macomber, as well as the sequels. Positive without being maudlin or tragic. Haven’t read Hannah’s List yet, I need to get that one from the library.
For me, it was amazing the way my mood affected how I read a book. I would take offence or just be majorly creaped out by something that normally wouldn’t affect me, thus the re-reading of comfort books. Linda Howard’s books were kept in a box by my bed to be brought back out, one after another.
Hello everyone, Bianca here.
I haven’t had a chance to go through all of the responses yet, but I just wanted to say how touched I am by the outpouring of support and love. What an amazing community of incredible people. Thank you so much, all of you, for your recommendations and comments and support. I’m really looking forward to putting together my new reading list!
For the survivors and loved ones of survivors, I also appreciate your personal stories, they are a real inspiration.
I would really like to emphasize Sarah’s point – if you can get tested early DO IT!! The lump in my breast could not be felt with a physical exam, despite being fairly large. (I had REALLY large bosoms before the surgery – we’re talking mid 80’s romance cover big.) It wasn’t until they did a mammogram that they could find the problem area.
In addition to getting early mammograms if possible, I also encourage you to check your armpits!! I know that sounds bizarre, but that was how my cancer was found. I had an odd lump in my left armpit that I sort of poked at and then ignored for weeks. Part of what finally convinced me to go to the doctor was a PSA informing women they should check their armpits during a self breast exam.
If it weren’t for the odd lump under my arm (the results of lymph nodes that were swollen due to the cancer) I might have gone on for months or years with no other indication of a problem. So ladies, not to freak you out, but if you notice a lump on your armpit, get yourself to the doctor right quick.
So again, thank you Bitchery for your recommendations, support, and stories – and ladies (and gentlemen), please take care of yourselves!
Love,
Bianca
Bianca, you sound so strong – stay strong!!
Perhaps in your honor (?) there’s a free Kindle book right now (if you don’t have a Kindle, you can still read it on your computer with the Kindle for PC app (free)) – “The Big 5-Oh” by Sandra Bricker here – the heroine was also diagnosed on her birthday! I don’t know if it’s any good, but it’s nice that it’s free!
I don’t remember the name of the book (I think it was a Harlequin) but it was about a cancer survivor. I read the book several, several years ago and it was the first romance novel I read that actually created painful-lump-in-the-throat type emotion. The main character (her name MAY have been Beth) goes back to her hometown. In the past she was a real bitch so when she comes back no one is too happy to see her. She lives in a little trailer and meets the younger (I think) brother of someone who hates her. The brother is warned to stay away but, of course, he can’t. The heroine struggles with the after effects of the cancer and not revealing her secret. She wants to make amends for her past bad behavior but she doesn’t want everyone to feel sorry for her because she has cancer. She also is trying to avoid a relationship but we all know how THAT usually works out 🙂
It was a really touching book and if anyone remembers the title, it would be worth checking out.