I’ll get right to the good part, with no flirting around. I have ARCs to give away of Loretta Chase’s 27 July book “Last Night’s Scandal.” In fact, I have six ARC copies.
And I have a grand prize, too: a selection of her printed backlist, including Don’t Tempt Me, Last Hellion, Lord of Scoundrels, Not Quite a Lady, and Your Scandalous Ways. AND a $25 gift card to your choice of Amazon or BN.com.
You wish to have? Sure you wish to have. It’s Loretta Chase!
All you have to do: get crazy and tell me what would you do for a Loretta Chase book – and a selection of her backlist? Much like what you’d do for a Klondike bar, only MORE BETTERER AND AWESOMERERST because did I mention it’s Loretta Chase? It’s Loretta Chase! So get creative and share, and I’ll pick the winners over the weekend. You have 24 hours, so get cracking!
Disclaimer: I’m not being compensated for this giveaway, except that I get to talk about Loretta Chase and write words like “betterer.” No additives or preservatives. Slippery when wet. You give love a bad name. Sealed for your protection.
For a Loretta Chase ARC, I would ride a unicycle, while juggling cats and whistling dixie. During my hospital stay, I could enjoy the book.
For LC, I would…take care of my best friend’s three dogs for a day. This is a big deal for me considering I am not a big animal person. I like animals. I just like them to keep a respectful distance. LOL My friend’s dogs don’t understand why I don’t pet them and let them lick all over me. =)
And now I have the Klondike jingle stuck in my head. Is there a jingle more catchy than that one?
What would I do for an LC book? This is tough because her writing is so completely awesomely spectaculoso. I would don a plus-sized corset that would suck in all my rolls and love handles, paint myself blue and give an interpretive dance performance of Avatar in front of the Big Bean here Millennium Park.
Ooh, I have another one.
I’d walk around a place like Boston or New York City, shaking hands, introducing myself, and going, “Hi. How y’all today? I’m from Alabama.”
Another one…I’d go get a sample of water from the Gulf Oil Spill.
Then make a BP Executive drink it.
In the past, for Loretta Chase books, I have been known to (a) pounce on the single copy of her latest book at Border’s, (b) repeatedly scour the shelves of the most hole-in-the-wall used book stores for her out-of-print backlist, (c) stay up all night reading, (d) read surreptitiously under my desk at work, (e) laugh uproariously [or if at work, stifledly], (f) squee, (g) coo, (h) sigh with joy.
For an ARC of Last Night’s Scandal, I would (i) put away all the shoes cluttering up the doorway, (j) clean the bathroom, (k) vacuum the living room carpet, (l) bake delicious-smelling cornbread with rosemary in it, (m) sing a song to welcome the ARC to my tidy, fragrant apartment, (n) read all night and (o) possibly at work while (p) laughing, (q) squeeing, (r) cooing, and (s) sighing happily, and then (t) write about it on the blog I’m about to start, (u) not uttering even one word of complaint about the silly backless dresses that appear on the cover of all her newer books, (v) lend it to a friend, (w) probably never see it again, (x) wind up buying a copy anyway, (y) not mind at all, and (z) take the opportunity to read it again.
For the new LC book AND backlist selections, I would go to work (and this includes taking public transportation, working in my library and then teaching a yoga class, as a full-blown clinch cover mash up!
Mash up includes: Regency costume, mullet wig, crazy blue eye shadow, and I would carry a cardboard cut-out of Fabio with me so I can clinch him to my heaving bosoms at a moments notice.
I don’t think too many people would raise an eyebrow on the subway, but work people would KNOW how crazy I am and my yoga students … well … I might never see them again. But then I’ll have plenty of time to read all those wonderful LC books!
I would spend the weekend with two sexy, hot, roguish and bisexual vampires with a digital camera. I know thatās really putting myself out there but for a Loretta Chase novel itās totally worth it!
What would I do for an LC book?
I’d name my secret baby (from my illicit affair with my boss—who is damaged emotionally and physically and can only be healed my magic hoo-haw of lurve) after you Sarah.
-head43 Ho Boy Howdy! Not gonna touch that one… Of course, if I hadn’t touched it, I wouldn’t be having a Secret Baby I could name after Sarah.
Oh, LC! Everytime I see your name on a cover, my heart goes pitty-pat and my vision blurs so I have a panicked instant where I think it might be something you wrote that I haven’t yet had the divine pleasure of devouring, and then I see that ok, yes, I actually HAVE read it, and my heart rate slows and my blood sugar drops and I have to sit down in my abjectness, which lasts for a really long time, longer than my disappointment at getting a glimpse at any other author’s book and thinking, “Three Hot Damns and a Woot!”, a new book, and then realizing that I have read that, too, and I am sad, but not nearly as sad as I am when I think I am scoring a Lucky Loretta unread, and it turns out to be not so much, because I have already read EVERYTHING not just once, but many times over, and oh, Ms. Chase, I think you are a writer of such humorosity and wonderfulness, that in my head, I often call you “Miss Wonderfulness”, which, as you can see, is a play on “Miss Wonderful” and I hope you don’t object to my taking such a liberty, and by the way, Miss Wonderfulness, to win an advance copy of new epicness by you, not to mention a large amount of extra largesse, because not only is it a new book, but copies of previously outstanding happiness inducing works by you, I would write an extremely long run-on sentence filled with so many explosions and emissions of vast emotions that, honestly, I am simply exhausted and wrung out, but that’s all right, please don’t worry about me, because you are so TOTALLY worth the amount of angst I have expended and I would do it again but I think I am only allowed one entry, but trust me, I would be so happy to win, that after I read the new book, my blood sugar would return to normality and my heart rate would slow and you would not have to worry about me, which I feel sure you’ve been doing since I told you how sad I was that the last time I thought I had found a new book by you, it turned out not to be so, and since I am your biggest fan I know you want me to be filled with ecstaticosity, so feel free to put in a good word for me with any Smart Bitch you might happen to call or run into and I thank you very much in advance.
I’ve not read LC before so it would be all new to me. Speaking of new I promise to use part of the gift certificate to purchase an e-book and read it. I’ve fought against trying an e-book for many reasons (too much money, don’t actually “own” the book—fear they would yank it off my pc, etc…)
Um, what WOULDN’T I do?
I would pose my fat white body that resembles nothing less than a stack of glazed baked goods, one shoulder bare, graying tresses cascading down my back(fat), one hand with plump fingers extended from my – are-those-age-spots?!?! – hand toward a hot, well oiled, six-packed, super-vee’d, hairless torso for the new romance series “Heroines with Heft”.
I would vacuum out my own car.
I would go out to the supermarket WITHOUT mascara – shudder.
I would – AH-THIS IS THE WINNER – DUST!!!!!!!!
Sadly, I cannot agree to go out and woo, then marry an emotionally damaged, sharp tongued rich man who needs a sassy lady to show him how to love and trust, for I am taken. But I am willing to put on a nice dress, some heels, a floofy hat and carry around a frilly umbrella, and then wander around just being sassy to various men, pretending to search for my one true love. Out here in cowboy country. I’ll even have someone video tape it.
And when I get around to having something I write published, I will be sure to mention the inspiration I get here all the time. After all, if I hadn’t pretty much tripped and fallen face first into this place, I would never have learned how wonderful and varied romance novels are, never have read one, never have learned how AMAZING they are and also the community of people who read them and then get together to discuss them.
For a whole stack of Loretta Chase, I would be willing to let someone else hold my newborn baby. She’s only a week old, so we’re still in that early “no, this is my baby” stage, which will inevitably taper off within the next month, but by then she’s not a newborn anymore. Bribing me with a stack of Chase is a good way to get my newborn out of my paws for a few minutes altogether, though.
I’d write a song. “I Would Do Anything For
LoveLoretta Chase”. I’d even sing it underneath your bedroom window. Or outside your bathroom door. Whichever you prefer.any92… any 92 words from the dictionary would do, right?
What would I do for a Loretta Chase book?
I would stop people on the street, the mall, my kidās school and even work and tell them, no scream and shout to them; the wonder and beauty that is Romance. Romance, where anything can and will happen; anything is possible, that Happily Ever After is REAL…
Well, it can be REAL, only after you get over the general misunderstanding of not having to marry your small-chinned male cousin (once removed) that sent you away to a remote village in Northumber-Shire-Ville to save the family from financial RUIN and get through the confusion that you might not really be in love with the handsome stable hand that has befriended you (secretly your beautiful, eccentric spinster sister who talks to animals IS). He turns out to be a Duke secretly living next door (because there are SO many) that came over to be the stable hand at your country estate because he was bored with the latest Society Misses and their Mamas. Your sister and the Dukeās story will be the sequel. Rather you might be in love with the strange and mysterious gentleman (that turns out to be THE Viscount Hawkeswing, Hawke to his friends) that saves you from the mean village dwellers that mistake you for an orphan and a prostitute, no doubt viscous rumors spread by the jealous small-chinned male cousin (once removed) that wanted to marry YOU. The mean villagers try to get you to work in the village tavern to earn your bread but the Viscount goes in to break his fast after an early morning of Hounds and meets you. You speak with The Viscount and tell him your whole life story and find out that Viscount Hawkeswing (Hawke) should be living abroad in Her Majesty’s service, but came home early due to some kind of injury that miraculously becomes better only weeks after meeting you. Hawke then falls in love with you because you are so beautiful, smart and charming and very different than any other Lady he knows, sells his commission from the war, gets a war medal for bravery that he doesnāt want, takes care of the small-chinned male cousin in a way that you never have to suffer him again and marries you and you both live Happily Ever After. Yesā¦in Romanceā¦anything is possible.
I just cannot do anything over the top but I promise to read any and all Loretta Chase books and to buy and/or recommend said books to all my friends.
I’d go toy shopping with no time limit with my 11-year-old son—without complaining when he picks up and inspects every single Star Wars, Bionicle, and Bakugan figure, pack of figures, accessory, weapon, ship, also Pokemon card packs and tins. I’d let him take me to more than one store, even up to three stores. I typically promise only one store and maybe 15 minutes, less if I’m irritated, which I always am when accompanying my children toy shopping.
If I won the entire backlist, I’d take it on vacation with me and take it to Mexico and introduce it to a lovely pool boy with gorgeous eyes. I’d get it drunk on tropical drinks and take pictures of it atop a Mayan pyramid. (Don’t worry, I’d also cover it with a hat, so it didn’t get burnt in the hot sun.) If I only won the ARC, it wouldn’t get to go to Mexico because I’d finish reading it long before August 12th, so I guess I’d have to …. hmmmm. Sweep and mop my all of the floors in the house, shampoo the rugs, and clean my oven. (But for the backlist, I might be persuaded to clean your oven, too!)
For such an awesome prize—especially Lord of Scoundrels, which I have not been able to get hold of for love or money—I would attempt to use LC’s titles in my everyday conversation.
“Out to dinner, honey? Oh, Don’t Tempt Me!”
“Well, I shouldn’t take the last cookie, but I’m Not Quite a Lady, so I’ll snatch it.”
“Look at you in that top! How I admire Your Scandalous Ways!”
I’ll have to think a bit longer on how to incorporate The Last Hellion, but I bet I can figure out something.
I would quit watching my husband playing Final Fantasy 13 and instead curl up in bed and read!
Ha! I’m thinking a live reading that is posted on YouTube because EVERYONE should adore the awesomeness that is Loretta Chase!
But instead of being read by me, I think read by a hot pool cabana boy while we all sit in awe… of course he should read the sexy parts… and there should be sangria involved. Just because.
Play I guess….not playing. š
I would totally de-lurk for this prize.
I would volunteer to be PTA President at my daughter’s school.
If you knew some of the other parents and personalities involved you would realize how absolutely insane this is.
But for Chase I would do this.
Seriously.
For a Loretta Chase ARC, I’d:
stop the oil leak, get the Palestinians and the Israelis to love each other, end world hunger, and give Loretta Chase the Nobel Prize for Literature!
wow, for this great of a prize I would re-live my yesterday’s travel nightmares of thunderstorms, multi-hour delays, and “sorry, we don’t have a plane for that flight” for the rest of the month.
added bonus: that much time in airports would give me the chance to read all of these!!
weeks53: actually, I’d repeat that day for 53 weeks, no problem.
For a Loretta Chase book, for a week I would cook a fancy dinner every night and clean up afterwards, go to the gym daily and do all the dog walking. And after that I would go in the bedroom close and lock the door and not come out until I’d finished reading it.
I cannot match the awesomness that is your idea, virgin stable girl Sarah W. But, for Loretta Chase books, I WILL be your snarky and practical best friend. That’s right – I will be the Carrie Fisher to your Meg Ryan, the Janeane Garafalo to your Winona. In addition to providing your story with much needed comic relief, I will help you secretly bury the asshat sheik’s body. That way, instead of you having to read your freebies on death row, we can both read them on the beach in Belieze where we live as rich and gorgeous fugitives and seduce a succession of hot tourists. Also, I will finally learn how to cite other people’s comments in my comment.
maybe75 – maybe I will win 75 romance novels and never clean my house again!
Oh, LC! Everytime I see your name on a cover, my heart goes pitty-pat and my vision blurs so I have a panicked instant where I think it might be something you wrote that I haven’t yet had the divine pleasure of devouring, and then I see that ok, yes, I actually HAVE read it, and my heart rate slows and my blood sugar drops and I have to sit down in my abjectness, which lasts for a really long time, longer than my disappointment at getting a glimpse at any other author’s book and thinking, “Three Hot Damns and a Woot!”, a new book, and then realizing that I have read that, too, and I am sad, but not nearly as sad as I am when I think I am scoring a Lucky Loretta unread, and it turns out to be not so much, because I have already read EVERYTHING not just once, but many times over, and oh, Ms. Chase, I think you are a writer of such humorosity and wonderfulness, that in my head, I often call you “Miss Wonderfulness”, which, as you can see, is a play on “Miss Wonderful” and I hope you don’t object to my taking such a liberty, and by the way, Miss Wonderfulness, to win an advance copy of new epicness by you, not to mention a large amount of extra largesse, because not only is it a new book, but copies of previously outstanding happiness inducing works by you, I would write an extremely long run-on sentence filled with so many explosions and emissions of vast emotions and ejaculations of adjectives and adverbs, etc., ad infinium, (that means to infinity and beyond, which is a Star Trek reffie) that, honestly, I am simply exhausted and wrung out, but that’s all right, please don’t worry about me, because you are so TOTALLY worth the amount of angst I have expended and I would do it again but I think I am only allowed one entry, but trust me, I would be so happy to win, that after I read the new book, my blood sugar would return to normality and my heart rate would slow and you would not have to worry about me, which I feel sure you’ve been doing since I told you how sad I was that the last time I thought I had found a new book by you, it turned out not to be so, and since I am your biggest fan I know you want me to be filled with ecstaticosity, so feel free to put in a good word for me with any Smart Bitch you might happen to call or run into and your adoring fan who is me thanks you very much in advance.
What would I do? Buy all the Carsington series in paper in addition to my collection of Chase ebooks.
Aah, for this batch of goodies I would donate all of my out of print print books (Nora Roberts, Sherrilyn Kenyon, Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Jayne Castle, Ann Maxwell, Suzanne Brockmann, etc.). Ok, you’re right, it’d only be the ones I have an extra copy of. But I never get rid of books!
I would tell you how fabulous your blog is and I would sing the praises of Loretta Chase’s books to everyone I know. I would also torment my husband by doing a dramatic reading from passages from this book while he massaged my feet. š
I love, love, love Loretta! And Iāve been wanting an ARC for so long, but I refuse to get one by illegal meansā¦I would, for that fabulous grab bag of awesome Lorettaness, name my unborn child after a character in one of her books! Iām sure I can find something suitable in her extensive backlist, and with some serious bribery I can get my husband to agree no prob. Besides, he can pick the middle nameā¦
PS: If you don’t win, but you of course you still want to get your hands on her backlist, you can get them via her website! And mine were SIGNED!!! I almost passed out when I opened the box ;0)
For a new Loretta Chase, I would practice shooting a pistol until I got so good that I could shoot the object of my lust to injure, not to kill (and to teach him a much needed lesson about getting me all warmed up then leaving me cold).
I’ve also always wanted to kiss in a thunderstorm. For LC, I’d even stand near a tall metal object (like a lamp post) when the lightning starts. . . even though that’s a leetle bit dangerous.
What Nadia said—supposing, that is, that I had been awake @ 5:25 am and was able to observe first-hand her amazingly creative neuronal synaptical connections (lay translation: read her mind).
Note: I have always wanted to use “neuronal” and “synaptical” in a sentence, ever since I audited (voluntarily!) a course in neuroscience for first-year med students at Columbia University—even though my intro bio course was 20 years earlier and the med students were all 22 and I was 42. Whenever I became despondent about the prospect of ever understanding that brainy Brain Stuff even a smidgen (my learning goals were indeed modest), I set aside the med school tome (+700 pages) and blissfully re-read Lord of Scandals. Then, I pretended that I Was Jessica and that Her Brain was My Brain. That helped me to study better.
To win the ARC, I would gladly haul that very tome off my topmost bookshelf, whisk away the layers of dust and re-read the entire section called something like “The Electrical Conductivity Process of the Human Brain: Mechanisms of Action and Implications for Clinical Treatment.” Really. I would.
Ooh, I would do a LOT for that book! I would hold a boombox under its window blasting romantic tunes. I would travel to Egypt like Daphne or obstruct a new canal like Mirabelle. I would go in hunt of it like hidden treasure, the same way Peregrine and Olivia did in the first book. I want this book so badly! š
I would bravely save the people of my village by marrying the dark, dangerous knight who shows up at the castle door, surrender my maidenhead to his wicked (but strangely arousing) love-making, and then engage in some feisty repartee whilst tossing back my dull brown—I mean, luscious chestnut—hair.
For LC (whom I’ve never read) . . .
I would send my kids TO YOU (you lucky winner, you) for the weekend !!
and then I would curl up and enjoy the quiet with a tall dark, dashing, mullet macho man.
and then – sigh – I guess you would have to send the kiddies back . . .
spam word: standard99 – hmm . . . can I ship kids “standard” for 99 cents??
Well, I have never read this author but after your introduction to this giveaway it sounds awesome and I would love to win the one book, or all , so that I can spend my evenings engrossed in books and not on cleaning the wash.
What would I do to win? Let my kids watch movies so I can read š
P.S. I know we’re not voting, but I think Sarah W.‘s willingness to dress up as the virgin stable girl of a playboy sheik is deserving of all sorts of prizes…