Jac asks for your help:
I am in need of some help ladies! I read a book way long ago in the dark
teenage years and am aching to re-read it. The only problem…I have no idea
who wrote it, who published it, or any of the other important names (main
characters, title, location etc.) But all is not lost; I feel it’s fairly
identifiable based on a wondrous sex scene that shocked my teenage
sensibilities to their prudish little toes!So there is angry sex all over this book, and one scene involves a
champagne bottle. He is angry at her/about loving her/some other kind of man
angst and forces her into bed, pours champagne over her, says angry things,
perhaps * gasp* penetrates her with a champagne bottle and so forth.That’s the only thing I really remember. She might have been lured onto a
luxury resort island to extract revenge under the guise of her selling high
priced villas. She forms a bond with the manager of a upscale motel on the
island of course the manager is in cahoots with the leading man.
I hope you all can help me find this one!
Teenager or not, I’d be shocked by the champagne bottle. Damn. I’m crossing my legs now.
I surfed the web, couldn’t come up with anything. But that book sounds great! If you find the name , pls let me know……………LOL love those sex scenes……
I remember reading a book a long time ago that involved pirates, and a blue bird tattoo, and there was at one point a scene in a cave that involved a wine bottle. Perhaps it was the same one that beggar1015 was referring to. I don’t remember the name though.
I have to say angry sex with a bottle isn’t exactly my cup of tea. But I hope you find the book .
This. This is why I read SBTB. Okay, the stuff about empowerment of women and chasing down plagiarists is all great too, but laughing so hard I snort; that’s the reason.
And my submit word? Why56. This is reason Why #1 but there are at least 56 other reasons I read SBTB.
Open bottles for sex = painful and embarrassing trip to the ER.
I can’t find the link, but a woman used an open bottle for purposes never intended by the manufacturer ended up in agony in an ER. Attempts to remove the bottle injured her, the suction was so sever. Finally, a doctor looking in on the group of puzzled ER people, taped the protruding end of the bottle and broke it with a hammer, equalizing the pressure. One presumes the neck was removed with no injury to the lady. One would hope she swore off bottles and bought the right “tool” for the job instead.
Don’t use a pine cone, either. (WTF????)
http://blogs.app.com/saywhat/2009/03/30/woman-has-sex-with-pine-cone-needs-surgery-to-remove-it/
Men should also stay away from bottles.
http://bodyodd.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2008/07/09/1189486.aspx
And vacuum cleaners.
I am NOT looking that one up. You couldn’t pay me to do it.
All I’ve got is Prince Albert meeting IUD. Brought in still joined on the stretcher from the ambulance.
But then a lot of men paint the bathroom naked and fall on candles and potatoes….
spamword: best76. Hell, I bet the healthcare workers here could easily give the best 76 tales of the retrevial of foreign objects.
Here’s a good one:
http://rosedesrochers.todays-woman.net/2007/06/27/vortex-vibrations-vacuum-cleaner-sex-toy/
Oh, man , I meant to chime in on this earlier, but forgot. There are lots of urban legends and bonafide real life examples about things being stuck where they don’t belong, but my best personal entry is that I once had a patient who broke his penis. With a woman who wasn’t his wife. Yep, *SNAP*.
umm, vacuum problem ?…
Broke his penis? There are no bones in the penis, how does it break?
Now dogs DO have a bone in theirs and yes, there have been instances of them getting broken which is extremely serious. But my head is kind of bewildered on how you break something that has no bony structures in it.
Human penises can sustain significant damage if injured when fully erect – though not a fracture in the usual sense, such injuries are referred to as breaks. Most often it involves damage to the tunica albugenia, a membrane that encompasses the corpora cavernosa (the tissue than engorges during an erection).
On a lighter note – my favourite foreign body story comes from a patient over a decade ago. His story: I was cleaning out the guttering and because it was a warm day I decided not to put on any clothes. I slipped reaching from the ladder and fell, landing on some carrots I pulled out of the vegie patch earlier, one of which somehow ended up *there*.
The ED staff wondered how that fit with the fact that the carrot they removed in theatre was not only washed but peeled and carved into a particularly knobbly shape!
Alex has explained it correctly. Essentially, when the penis is erect, the vasculature can sort of snap, if it’s handled the right way. Or wrong way. You get the picture.
Let’s not forget Peyronnies Disease. Yup, curve penis, boomerangs of love.
Usually the result of an injury if I remember correctly.
Ann Bruce: I believe you’re right! Master of Paradise does seem to be ringing a bell. And as Lillian6751 says, I think the hero did become a pirate. I don’t remember a tattoo, but it’s been a long time. I do remember ther heroine goes to meet her lover somewhere really dark (perhaps it was a cave) and screws his brains out, only to find out later in the book she had screwed someone else. She couldn’t have bothered to ask “Honey, is that you?”
It’s amazing y’all were able to figure this out from the little bit of gibberish I typed.
I must get this book!………..
The Susan Johnson was a blown glass dildo, wherein the hero basically “binds” her with it with the reminder, “It’s glass…” so she doesn’t dare move while he does all sorts of other stuff to her. I remember it because I was kinda, uh… Oh never you mind!
Anyway, it’s Forbidden [rimshot].
I didn’t discover Susan Johnson until my mid-20s and she blew my mind—and I’d read Bertrice Small and Rosemary Rogers when I was 14!
Since everybody’s already covered the problem of the open bottle and the interesting things people happen to find in their orifices, I’ll refrain.
Oh my – I think I actually know this one. I’m standing here, my heart pounding, because I KNOW THIS ONE.
It’s Love Game by Mallory Rush
I think I should win something for this if only because I never recognize the books people are looking for. LOL!!!
For its time, this book was quite provacative. Thea Devine, Susan Johnson and Bertrice were around but this was the first hint of ‘kink’ in contemporary romance. It was a harlequin release but not in their series lines.
@beggar1015 – The hero did abandon the heroine to become a pirate. She ran to shed; balled her eyes out; made love to her half-brother thinking it was the hero; years later the hero kidnaps her; they get stranded on an island, have fun in the sand; travel to another island, where they venture into a cave where he hid a case of wine bottles and the infamous sex scene takes place.
So, so sad that I know this story so well.
I don’t know about the wine bottles. My dad who was a GP in Vancouver in the 50s confided in me that what he really hated was the shot glasses due to, yes, the vacuum. I have not, however, seen any romances with shot glasses stuck anywhere and, as a pediatrician, have not seen said shot glasses. (Don’t ask about wedding bands or toothbrushes, however.)
Glass dildos are quite different to bottles, because they’re at least 10x thicker and thus much more sturdy. Also, when used for the intended purpose, it’s more “bending strength” that you’re after – impact resistance isn’t really an issue when it comes to sex toys. Unless, of course, you’re doing the humpty humpty above a hard surface and the toy happens to fall out. Even then, they’re usually made out of annealed glass, and they tend not to shatter as easily as real glass.
As to why you’d want to use one? They are amazingly slick, and also very hard. If you like that sensation, glass is the next best thing to surgical steel.
The real thing girls is the best!!!!
The Erica Jong reference is from “How to save your own life” and it is from a lesbian scene.