So many people have written to me asking about the Dreamspinner ad running in our ad column. Some are dying to talk about it, some are asking me to create a thread just to discuss it, and some are absolutely turned off. What, a man with his pants down wearing some mistletoe around another area that may in fact be well hung is worth talking about?
You bet your sweet bippy. So with the generosity of Elizabeth, head of Dreamspinner, who sent me a big ol’ high res version of the cover so you can appreciate the pants mistletoe’d man in all his splendor, we have: Holiday Caption That Cover!
Leave your caption in the comments, and on Christmas Day, I’ll pick a winner. Said winner will receive a $50 gift certificate to the bookstore of their choice. Comments will close at midnight on Christmas Eve, Eastern Standard Time – I hear Santa needs to borrow those tightie whities for a trip round the world, you know?
Mad props and full credit for the image go to Paul Richmond, the artist who created this holiday wonderpiece. And oh, what a wonder it is. You ready? Come out with your pants down!
“No, no, the lyrics are ‘Up on the rooftop / Click, click, click’!”
******************************************
Next comes the stocking
Of little Will
Oh, just see what
A glorious fill
Here is a hammer
And lots of tacks
Also a ball
And a whip that cracks
Ho, ho, ho!
Who wouldn’t go!
Ho, ho, ho!
Who wouldn’t go!
Up on the rooftop
Click, click, click
Down thru the chimney with
Good Saint Nick
Seriously, those are the ACTUAL LYRICS.
“If that’s holly I’d expect a lot more pricks.”
or
“Awww. Want me kiss it, make it bigger?”
Pants-less puppeteer charged with indecent exposure
(Sorry, I just read this and couldn’t resist!)
By the way, love TonyC’s “More junk for Christmas”!
Love-drops on his face
And Ira in undies
With a huge boner,
It’s time to be naughty.
Thinking of Ira all tied up in strings.
These were a few of his favorite things.
Not really a caption, but if this is an advent calendar, I can’t wait to see what you open on Christmas!
Angels, Frahm the Realms of Glory
Thanks to Stuart’s years of experience stuffing mannequins in the better men’s department at Marshall Field’s, the stockings weren’t the only thing hung with care that day.
***
“Your package?” Craig started to say. “Which one?” But his voice trailed off in surprise when he realized what Brad really meant.
“You saw Daddy kissing NO ONE. Understand?”
“Who needs a dick in a box when you’ve got a package like that!”
Wow…I guess now would be a really awkward time to explain to that I’m his long lost twin brother ……
So that’s where the yule log went…
Though it was chilly, Gary could only be thankful for the wicked winter wind that not only pulled Adams pants down and sweater up, but brought along a convenient spotlight to highlight the best Christmas package under the tree.
See the blazing yule before us….falalalalalalala
drop your brief it’s time for coitus…falalalalalalala
“Hmm. Thanks Bill, but honestly, Jack’s candy cane was bigger….”
Steven had been searching for an in-your-face Christmas present for Michael, and that morning, while pulling on his most festive undies and planning his annual holiday decorating extravaganza, he had a sudden strike of inspiration.
Some presents just beg to be unwrapped on Christmas Eve.
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME!!!!!
“Wow, either my best friend is gay or he’s just happy to see me.”
I know we are all having fun here, but does anybody actually find this cover attractive or erotic?
GrowlyCub—I checked out the rest of his portfolio, and I think it’s just meant to be good old fashioned cheeky fun. I’d love to see the inside of the calendar!
Chad’s Christmas lunchbox came with all the t-Rimmings
Too Funny! a classic cover caption post in the making.
All I have is the old underroos ad slogan.” The Underwear that’s fun to wear!”
When Chet’s pants slipped down, all became clear to Ted. He tried to smile and laugh it off, but it was hard. NOW he understood why everyone made little…remarks…about his roommate. What meaning everyone attached to that word. And why Chet sometimes looked at him like he was trying to figure something out, and why when they first moved in, Chet sometimes leaned on him on the couch.
GrowlyCub:
I am hetero female so I doubt I’m the target audience. That being said, Droopy Drawers Dude looks a bit worried. You can’t see his mouth so it’s hard to say if he’s surprised his britches went south on him or alarmed at having his giblets ogled. Or maybe he’s afraid of rejection?
So, in an experiment to overcome my personal proclivities and figure out if this is unsexy to me because I’m not a guy who likes guys I tried the following experiment:
Insert chick in lieu of Studly Sweater dude.
Nope, not sexy. If some man is hanging mistletoe in my house (or his) and his britches just fell I would LMAO. Especially if he was wearing those particular briefs. Whether by accident (hilarious!) or on purpose (ick! Seriously, that’s the best you can come up with?), that’s just funny.
I like the vestiges of subtlety, at the minimum.
Bah hummer.. Jack knew that he would find Cole in his stockings on Xmas morning
Sing along with me, “Do you see what I see”?
“Jingle bell time is a swell time…”
Chad realized that watching Peter decorate for Christmas was like a car wreck. . .he just couldn’t look away.
Laurel,
thanks for the feedback. I’m female too, but I love m/m. One of my favorite books and one of the most romantic love stories I’ve ever read is between 2 guys (one older) in Jules Jones’ ‘Lord and Master’ (not BDSM).
So, the fact that there are two guys on the cover is not the issue, nor would the age difference be (my husband is 22 years older than I), but something in that pic is just terribly off to me.
My first thought was, ewww, look at Daddy looking at his half nekkid son. No idea why it struck me that way. I know I’m funny sometimes… 🙂
“I think there’s been a misunderstanding. That’s quite an impressive stocking stuffer you’ve got there, but I actually wanted the other kind of tea bags.”
Options….Options…..
Under which mistletoe should I kiss?
‘Twas the night before Christmas, and I was nonplussed,
Not a creature was stirring, including some lust!
My partner had dusted, decked halls, and gift wrapped;
Now all that he sought was a long winter’s nap.
But I wasn’t ready to go straight to bed,
But what could make “sugarplums” dance in his head?
Then, what to my wondering eyes should appear
But those Christmas briefs (got as a gag gift last year).
I entered the room, caught his eye, quirked a brow,
Then, holding some mistletoe, boldly dropped trou
There I stood before him, my pride on the shelf,
And he laughed when he saw me, in spite of himself.
More rapid than eagles, he came to my side
And said, “Here’s a present that’s too good to hide!”
But I heard him exclaim as the curtains were drawn,
“Take your Christmas briefs off, and then let’s get it on!”
The “Rudolf” Christmas Special comes to mind:
“Looky what HE can do!”
Top hilariously disturbing things about this cover:
1. The guys look like twins.
2. Holly berry underwear. Just no.
(add yours)
“Why you’ve got quite a package there, do you need help unwrapping?’
3. Imminent DIY danger. Feels like the foreshadowing to a cautionary home improvement tale.
“I Can’t Believe I let you Dress Yourself”
“They Make Underoos in Grown-Up Sizes?”
Cara,
yeah; don’t they know 80% of all lethal accidents happen during household chores? 🙂
“And what happened then…? Well…in Who-ville they say That the Mitch’s small part grew three sizes that day! And the minute his part didn’t feel quite so tight, he whizzed with his load through the bright morning light.”