In Memory of Kate Duffy

When I first met Kate Duffy, it was at RWA in Dallas in 2007, and I was 8.5 months pregnant. I waddled everywhere, and I was, literally, a torpedo. I gave birth 6 weeks later. Like any good pregnant lady at an RWA convention, I was in the bar when I was introduced to Kate Duffy.

There was much squeeing. I was a fan of hers, and she was a fan of our site. She was drinking with one of her authors, but wanted to introduce herself and tell me how much she loved reading Smart Bitches. I was sort of dumbstruck. Ok, I was a lot dumbstruck.

Then, the following day, I mentioned that I was trying to figure out how to get to my flight to Newark, when she said, “Oh, I’ve reserved a car. You’re coming with me.” Enter dumbstruck Sarah, take two. It was 90+ degrees, I was not a little puffy, and exhausted – and she made room for me with her friend Joan, even though she’d just met me the day before. I told her then that I’d have to construct a shrine in her honor, with man titty and diet Pepsi. The shrine has grown a lot in the past two years, and I’m surprised looking back that it’s only been two years since I met Kate. I feel like I’ve known her for so much longer than that. And I know, most certainly, that it wasn’t long enough.

When I tried to explain to my husband why I was so blown away by meeting Kate and talking with her at RWA, I couldn’t figure out how to explain who she was in romance. She wasn’t just an editor or a fan of the genre.

“She’s the Julia Child of romance,” I said.

One of Kate's dinner parties: me, Mary Stella, Karen Auerbach, Kate Duffy, and Beth Ciotta

There isn’t a part of the genre in the United States that hasn’t been touched by Kate’s talent, and that’s not hyperbole. Kate and I used to meet for meals a few times a year and I always came away with a very satisfied belly – Kate had a knack for putting together the best dinner parties at restaurants that absolutely rocked. She could gather the most interesting people and before you knew it, four hours had gone by and you still had things to say and hear.

But more than that, whenever I was with Kate, I always learned something. She has been part of the romance genre in all its myriad incarnations for so long, she was a walking history book of the romance publishing industry, and of the genre as a whole.

“I didn’t want to be a governess or a nurse in Europe. I wanted to read about Americans.” – Kate Duffy

Kate was one of the foundations of the romance genre in the US because she knew there had to be a market for romances featuring American heroines and American settings. Whenever I ate with her, one story would merge into another, and suddenly I had a much deeper insight into how far the romance genre has come in recent years, and how much it’s changed. Kate was a walking history book with a very, very long memory.

“Sarah, I kid you not, dragons. DRAGONS.”
“She has dialogue like Spencer and Tracy. I love it.”
“You have to try this. No, really. Be quiet. Try this.” – Kate Duffy

At RWA in San Francisco, she and I were on the same flight home, and she eagerly shared with me the books and authors she was most excited about and the things that made her happy. I have noise canceling headphones for airline travel because Kate not only told me about them, but tapped me on the head during the flight to Newark and dropped hers onto my lap. She was right.

“Oh, look! I’m a reader!” – Kate Duffy, whose registration at RT in Pittsburgh had her listed not as an editor, but as a reader. “Best RT ever,” she told me.

Kate was often right. It was really annoying sometimes. And if we disagreed, which we did a lot, I’d often get The Look, which I nicknamed The Kate. Many people are familiar with this look. The chin goes down. One eyebrow may go up. And clear as air, you get the message that she thinks you are out of your mind. The word “withering” comes to mind. I was the recipient of The Kate many a time. Sometimes I totally deserved it.

The last time I spoke with her was 1 April 2009, when she told me I’d made a HUGE mistake in putting up an April Fool’s joke that our book had been the subject of a lawsuit brought by Jane Litte on behalf of the International Consortium of Heroes. The first email from Kate read, “I just saw the site. Are you ok?!” Then, a few seconds later, “I get it. Boy, did you ever make a mistake. Not funny.”

So I called her. She gave me a small dose of hell. I wasn’t her author, and our book wasn’t going to be published by Kensington, but she wanted me and our editor, Sulay, to succeed because she cared about us. And she thought I had made a huge goof. She told me so and then said, “Let’s get together for lunch soon. After RT.”

“Writer’s strike? I’m watching the best television in years – have you seen what’s on PBS lately? You have to see this show. Tape it. Better yet, I’ll send you a DVD. ” – Kate Duffy

Kate was determined in her generosity, and generous in her determination. Her many, many kindnesses to me over the years are too numerous to mention. I will miss her presence at conferences, her sense of humor, her wit, her curiosity, her enthusiasm, and most of all, her love of romance and the happily ever after. Kate was the closest thing I’ve had to a mentor since we met, and I valued her wisdom, her opinion, her enthusiasm, and her warmth more than I can say. She was my friend, and I will miss her terribly.

More than anything, I wished for a happier ending for her, that she would have beaten back her illnesses and kicked ass and taken names as usual. It wasn’t meant to be.

Today is Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, and I’ve been in synagogue for most of the morning. It’s also a day of reflection and remembrance, and today I’ve had a lot to reflect upon, remember, cry, and often inappropriately laugh about as I thought about Kate. If you’ve ever met Kate, you know she is unforgettable. May her memory be a blessing to her family, and may they be comforted.

“May the one who makes peace in the heavens make peace for us, and for all who dwell on earth. And let us say: Amen.” (Mourner’s Kaddish, Reconstructionist)


From her family, the obituary is below.

ALICE KATHERINE (“KATE”) DUFFY
Renowned romance genre editor

Kate Duffy (Alice Katherine Duffy) was instrumental in shaping the face and direction of the romance genre from the late seventies and the “romance revolution” of the early 1980s through today, when at any given time the authors she has worked with continue to populate the nation’s best seller lists.

The recipient of numerous honors from national and regional writers organizations, including the Romance Writers of America, she was the first recipient that organizations “Industry Award” in 1991. Recently, RT Book Reviews magazine announced her as the 2010 recipient of their annual Melinda Helfer Award, presented for outstanding support of and contributions to the genre.

Kate first published or worked with, some of the genre’s best known writers, including Jude Deveraux, Julie Garwood, Lori Foster, Heather Graham, Judith McNaught, Mary Janice Davidson, Jacqueline Frank and Mary Jo Putney.

Kate attended Notre Dame Academy, Trinity College, and George Washington University.  She studied at Oxford University and returned to the U.K. to work at Paddington Press.  Upon returning to the U.S. whe became an editor at Popular Library. She later worked at Dell, Simon & Schuster, where she was the founding editor of Silhouette Books, moved on to Simon & Schuster’s Pocket Books division, Harlequin Enterprises, where she founded the Worldwide Library imprint, and Kensington Publishing, where she established Brava Books.  She is also remembered for the hugely successful Tapestry Books imprint at Pocket Books which began in the early 80s and continued for a number of years.

Born January 28, 1953 in Rochester, New York to Benedict James Duffy, Jr. and Alice (Boyle) Duffy, Kate lived in Rochester, New York, Hingham, Massachusetts, London, Los Angeles, Washington D.C. and New York. She spent the bulk of her adult life living in Manhattan.  She is survived by her mother, actress Alice Duffy, her sister NBC News producer Clare Duffy, her brother Benedict Duffy and his wife Amanda, her niece Rosalind, her nephews Alex and Elliot, and legions of writers, friends and colleagues who are grateful to have known her.

Kate died at home after a long illness with a variety of complications.

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  1. Nina Pierce says:

    There are rejections … and then there’s the Kate Duffy rejection. I had wanted to sell to her so badly. It wasn’t to be. But the personal note she wrote to me was so inspiring and meant the world to an unpublished author. This was a wonderful tribute. The romance community has lost one of the truly wonderful ones.

  2. It’s nice to see everyone’s story about meeting Kate, etc. She wouldn’t want everyone feeling bad.  She would give us “The Kate” face for sure.

    The first time I met her was in New Orleans at Heather Graham’s conference. She was the first editor I’d ever met. The first editor to send me a rejection, and the first editor to encourage me to keep on writing.  She will be missed.

    Sending prayers to her family, friends, authors, and co-workers.

    Dawn Chartier

  3. Liz Kreger says:

    What a perfect tribute to a wonderful woman.  Kate Duffy was my very first pitch at my first conference in 2002.  I was a babbling idiot, yet she managed to put me at ease.

    I didn’t know her well, but she nevertheless always had a smile and a “hi” in passing when I saw her at other conferences.  She’s going to be sorely missed.

  4. Thanks for that tribute, Sarah. Kate was my first editor. She bought my first book for the Zebra Regency line and helped put me on this wonderful publishing road. I will always be grateful to her for that—like many other writers, I have no doubt!

  5. Eve Paludan says:

    Years ago, I met Kate Duffy at a conference and she was just so inspiring and compassionate. What a lovely tribute! Thank you for sharing this.

  6. Kelly S. Bishop says:

    I never submitted to her but I am so very glad I had a chance to meet her at a couple of the Washington Romance Writers retreats in Harpers Ferry.

    She was funny, smart and very encouraging to all of us wanna be published.

    Damn, I’ll miss her.

    Kelly S. Bishop

  7. theo says:

    Though our paths never crossed, her reputation was legendary and I can’t imagine a romance writer not knowing who she was. Your very heartfelt tribute makes me feel like I knew her a little bit, and I cried through most of it.

    She will be so very missed.

  8. Denny says:

    She was wonderful, and my condolences to her family, friends, and the romance publishing industry. I have seen her speak at RWA a few times (usually a highlight of my RWA Conference experience:), and even had a chance to chat with her one-on-one at the RWA in Atlanta a few years back, and as a fledging writer, she was so generous, and funny. Truly, she will be missed.

  9. In about 1991, Kate launched Kismet, an all-mail category publishing house. A lot of authors sold to her, including me, and I met her at the next RWA conference. Kismet took us, all of us, to a restaurant, bought us dinner, gave us gifts, and most important, Kate gave a speech about how important their authors were to them. It was not the usual publishing fare, and it was my first glimpse of how generous and nurturing she could be. Kate was the rare combination of visionary with an eye for talent with bulldog determination to get things done and a legendary way of expressing herself. As she once said to me, “I love you as much as I love my matched luggage.” I love you, too, Kate. God speed.

  10. A lovely tribute for an incredible woman. Like Jill, I’m too sad to say anything coherent.  Maybe tomorrow…

  11. Selah March says:

    Kate was determined in her generosity, and generous in her determination.

    Truer words were never spoken.

    Thank you, Sarah.

  12. Donna Hayes says:

    Sarah,

    What a lovely tribute to a truly wonderful person.  Well done.

  13. Great tribute blog!  Kate Duffy was a class act who helped transform the romance industry.  She will be missed.

  14. Linda Baker says:

    I met Kate Duffy when we were both commuting to New York on the train. For just over a year we laughed and became good friends all the way to NYC and back. Though we saw very little of each other after I gave up the commute and she moved to NYC, we stayed in touch from time to time. I considered her to be one of the brightest, kindest people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Not to mention her wonderful, dry sense of humor! The world is definitely a darker place without her. She will be missed by many, many people.

  15. Kate Pearce says:

    I was told this story about Kate Duffy at RWA a couple of years ago-it’s my favorite. Apparently some poor author was pitching to her and was so terrified that she burst into tears. Kate’s response was “I’ll give you $50 if you’ll stop crying.”
    Having met her at a couple of Kensington do’s, that sounded quite probable 🙂

    The last time I saw her was at RWA 08 at the literacy signing where she had ‘borrowed’ a member of the hotel staff to lug a box of bottled water around behind her. She plonked a water bottle on my table and said “This is from your grateful publisher’ and that was it LOL

    thanks for a great tribute 🙂

  16. You inspired me to compile my own memories of Kate. She changed my life when she bought my book. I owe her a lot. http://www.dianarodriguezwallach.com/blog/blog.html

  17. JoAnn Ross says:

    How perfectly stated.  That was our Kate—the Julia Child of romance. 

    As I tweeted earlier today, I’ve had one true personal friend I’ve trusted absolutely with all my secrets over my 26 years in publishing.  And that friend was Kate.  I even, a few years ago, talked her into letting her mother, Alice—and anyone who ever met Alice could see where Kate got her snap—“adopt” me.  Kate agreed, as long as she could be the favorite child.  No way was I going to argue those terms. 

    She was my North Star and I’m feeling hugely rudderless today.

  18. Santa says:

    What a treasure to have called her friend. I first encountered Kate Duffy in the blogsphere of Squawk Radio where she came out of lurkdom to chat a bit. I still have that piece. What insight into an industry that was so new to me.

    I later took a workshop with her about writoing strong heroines. It cemented for me the notion that I was on the right track with my writoing. I am ever grateful for that.

    You’re right, once again Sarah, she was the Julia Child of Romance. May the angels rise up to greet her.

  19. I did not know Kate Duffy, but knew of her. I had heard from many people what a good editor she was. 
    I’d like to convey my condolences to her friends and family.
                              Sincerely,
                                Annabelle Ambrosio

  20. Karen Kelley says:

    What a wonderful tribute—thanks so much. 
    I thought I couldn’t cry anymore but I can.  Kate was Kate.  A very special person.  The title queen as I called her since I always sucked at titles.  She was my editor and I loved her dearly.
    Karen Kelley

  21. Pat Detweiler says:

    The first time I met Kate, I was so new her name meant nothing to me.  She made short work of that with her no-nonsense, shoot-from-the-hip and clean up later style.  What a great lady.  Her passing leaves a gaping hole that may never be filled.

  22. Thank you for this, Sarah.  Kate was a great editor and a funny, wicked individual, with a lot to say about a lot of things.  I will miss hearing those things.

    Jessica Inclan

  23. PK says:

    Thank you for sharing your very moving and heartfelt tribute to Kate.  It’s evident that she was a special person and will be dearly missed by those who knew her.

  24. Lorraine Freeney says:

    Thank you for a lovely, lovely tribute. I worked with Kate for several years at Kensington Books. I was a copywriter there, and it was my job to write cover copy for her books – copy that I quite often dreaded handing in to her, especially if I felt like I hadn’t quite hit the mark. And if I hadn’t, Kate would let me know about it, with a pithy assessment and a look that could strip paint off a wall.
    Still, I grew to like her greatly, and to realize that if few people could be more cutting, even fewer could be as kind, or as insightful, or as wise. She was one of the funniest people I’ve ever met, and one of the smartest. Her contribution to romance…it’s impossible to put into words. She loved her authors and her friends and was fiercely loyal to them. Her enthusiasm when she’d just read a manuscript by a promising new author – it was a joy to see. Her love of books was utterly genuine and infectious. Kensington – and publishing – just won’t be the same without her. My heart goes out to her family and all those who love and miss her.

  25. Aleka Nakis says:

    I didn’t know Kate well, but the little I knew of her left a very big impression on me.

    She was a special woman, with a distinct way about her. For me, speaking with Kate was always a thrill. She welcomed me as a writer, and I learned so much from her—even if we simply stood on line for a few minutes together or shared a drink at the bar during a conference.

    There is no doubt that she helped shaped the modern romance writing industry into what it is today. A wealth of information and absolute knowledge, she was admired, feared and respected simultaneously. Her passing is a loss to publishing, and a greater loss to those whose lives she touched personally.

    She will be greatly missed. I wish I had more time to get to know her better.

    May her journey be full of light and music, and for Kate…books.
    Aleka

  26. Paula Klug says:

    Thank you Sarah. It was a lovely tribute to an incredible woman. She has gone too soon and will be greatly missed.

  27. This was lovely to read. Thank you.

  28. “The Julia Child of Romance”—yep, that’s the perfect summary, and a lovely tribute to Kate.

    I’d worked with Kate on an anthology or two, and hoped that eventually we could work together full time.  That day came—and after two years, has gone.  I feel cheated.  I figured we’d have at least ten years of working together. 

    Kate was one of a kind—smart, funny, generous, hair-raisingly direct.  And damn, I miss her!  No editor has ever made me feel as good about my writing.

  29. Alyssa Day says:

    She was absolutely amazing.  Honest, blunt, generous beyond belief.  She told me once in a bar in Atlanta, “I’m thinking about cutting down on my travel.  Who the hell wants to keep listening to me talk?”

    I said, “Believe me, Kate.  We ALL do.”

    And today she’s running editorial meetings in heaven.  Set ‘em straight, Kate.  Our industry lost a lion today.

  30. Sarah Parr says:

    Her generosity of spirit shone even through ‘the look’.  Witty, insightful and a WYSIWYG (what you see is what you get) person.  I remember introducing myself at Nationals SFO.  I had sold to Hilary and she had never met me.  Hearing my name, her eyes brightened.  Taking me under her wing, she drew me, and gave me a great gift, her time.  I’m going to miss her.

  31. That’s a lovely tribute.  I only met kate once, at RT, in Pittsburgh, I think.

    She seemed like a wonderful lady and I know she’s done huge things for romance.

    My condolences and prayers to her family and friends.

  32. I was truly saddened to come home to this news.

    I wasn’t one of Kate’s authors and I met her only once, but I knew so much about her and her huge contribution to the romance industry. She definitely left her mark. An irreplaceable loss.

  33. Thank you for the lovely tribute to Kate Duffy, and giving us a place to grieve her passing.

    Kate was a bad-ass babe with a very tender heart.  She was one of the first people I met in romance publishing, and she encouraged me to be myself and cheered me on every step of the way.  I only wrote one novella for her—part of a 2003 Brava anthology—and she sent it back to me three times, telling me it had too much sex in it.  “Moderation in all things, my pet,”  she told me. Kate was one of the funniest people I’ve ever known.

    The last time I spoke to her, she chided me for staying in hotels when I came to NYC on business.  She told me I was always welcome at her place, even if I had my teenagers in tow. 

    My prayers are with her family, friends, and coworkers. There area lot of very sad people in the world tonight.  I’m one of them.

  34. A beautiful tribute. Thank you.

  35. This is such a lovely tribute, Sarah. Thank you.
    I met Kate in 2003 and just went through some old emails that I’m so glad I kept. Kate was a true original. One of the most encouraging emails I ever got was from Kate and her enthusiasm still makes me smile to think about.
    I feel privileged to have known her. She will be missed by many.

  36. Candy says:

    I’m at a loss right now for words, but I think “Goodbye” and “Thank you” cover everything I need to express right now.

  37. So sad. I own several rejection letters from her (two for the same book) and when I finaled in the Brava contest one time, she called me up and bellowed down the phone: “It’s Kate Duffy. Are your hero and heroine always so horrible to each other?”
    She was cool. Honest and in your face but with, I think, a big kind heart beneath the no-nonsense exterior.

  38. What a wonderful post, a terrific tribute to Kate Duffy.  I didn’t know her, but after reading about your friendship with her, I know I definitely missed out.  My condolences to you and to all whose lives were touched by hers.

  39. Tessa Radley says:

    I first met Kate at a editor pitch appointment. I sat down, drew a deep breath and announced that I was terrified.
    She replied, “Not nearly as terrified as I am. Look where I’m sitting.”
    I glanced past her to the sheet of glass and sheer drop beyond.
    “I’m terrified of heights,” said Kate.

    In less than a minute she’d set me at ease, made me laugh and evoked an absolute sense of empathy.

    Thinking of all her friends and family. Kate will be sorely missed!

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