In Memory of Kate Duffy

When I first met Kate Duffy, it was at RWA in Dallas in 2007, and I was 8.5 months pregnant. I waddled everywhere, and I was, literally, a torpedo. I gave birth 6 weeks later. Like any good pregnant lady at an RWA convention, I was in the bar when I was introduced to Kate Duffy.

There was much squeeing. I was a fan of hers, and she was a fan of our site. She was drinking with one of her authors, but wanted to introduce herself and tell me how much she loved reading Smart Bitches. I was sort of dumbstruck. Ok, I was a lot dumbstruck.

Then, the following day, I mentioned that I was trying to figure out how to get to my flight to Newark, when she said, “Oh, I’ve reserved a car. You’re coming with me.” Enter dumbstruck Sarah, take two. It was 90+ degrees, I was not a little puffy, and exhausted – and she made room for me with her friend Joan, even though she’d just met me the day before. I told her then that I’d have to construct a shrine in her honor, with man titty and diet Pepsi. The shrine has grown a lot in the past two years, and I’m surprised looking back that it’s only been two years since I met Kate. I feel like I’ve known her for so much longer than that. And I know, most certainly, that it wasn’t long enough.

When I tried to explain to my husband why I was so blown away by meeting Kate and talking with her at RWA, I couldn’t figure out how to explain who she was in romance. She wasn’t just an editor or a fan of the genre.

“She’s the Julia Child of romance,” I said.

One of Kate's dinner parties: me, Mary Stella, Karen Auerbach, Kate Duffy, and Beth Ciotta

There isn’t a part of the genre in the United States that hasn’t been touched by Kate’s talent, and that’s not hyperbole. Kate and I used to meet for meals a few times a year and I always came away with a very satisfied belly – Kate had a knack for putting together the best dinner parties at restaurants that absolutely rocked. She could gather the most interesting people and before you knew it, four hours had gone by and you still had things to say and hear.

But more than that, whenever I was with Kate, I always learned something. She has been part of the romance genre in all its myriad incarnations for so long, she was a walking history book of the romance publishing industry, and of the genre as a whole.

“I didn’t want to be a governess or a nurse in Europe. I wanted to read about Americans.” – Kate Duffy

Kate was one of the foundations of the romance genre in the US because she knew there had to be a market for romances featuring American heroines and American settings. Whenever I ate with her, one story would merge into another, and suddenly I had a much deeper insight into how far the romance genre has come in recent years, and how much it’s changed. Kate was a walking history book with a very, very long memory.

“Sarah, I kid you not, dragons. DRAGONS.”
“She has dialogue like Spencer and Tracy. I love it.”
“You have to try this. No, really. Be quiet. Try this.” – Kate Duffy

At RWA in San Francisco, she and I were on the same flight home, and she eagerly shared with me the books and authors she was most excited about and the things that made her happy. I have noise canceling headphones for airline travel because Kate not only told me about them, but tapped me on the head during the flight to Newark and dropped hers onto my lap. She was right.

“Oh, look! I’m a reader!” – Kate Duffy, whose registration at RT in Pittsburgh had her listed not as an editor, but as a reader. “Best RT ever,” she told me.

Kate was often right. It was really annoying sometimes. And if we disagreed, which we did a lot, I’d often get The Look, which I nicknamed The Kate. Many people are familiar with this look. The chin goes down. One eyebrow may go up. And clear as air, you get the message that she thinks you are out of your mind. The word “withering” comes to mind. I was the recipient of The Kate many a time. Sometimes I totally deserved it.

The last time I spoke with her was 1 April 2009, when she told me I’d made a HUGE mistake in putting up an April Fool’s joke that our book had been the subject of a lawsuit brought by Jane Litte on behalf of the International Consortium of Heroes. The first email from Kate read, “I just saw the site. Are you ok?!” Then, a few seconds later, “I get it. Boy, did you ever make a mistake. Not funny.”

So I called her. She gave me a small dose of hell. I wasn’t her author, and our book wasn’t going to be published by Kensington, but she wanted me and our editor, Sulay, to succeed because she cared about us. And she thought I had made a huge goof. She told me so and then said, “Let’s get together for lunch soon. After RT.”

“Writer’s strike? I’m watching the best television in years – have you seen what’s on PBS lately? You have to see this show. Tape it. Better yet, I’ll send you a DVD. ” – Kate Duffy

Kate was determined in her generosity, and generous in her determination. Her many, many kindnesses to me over the years are too numerous to mention. I will miss her presence at conferences, her sense of humor, her wit, her curiosity, her enthusiasm, and most of all, her love of romance and the happily ever after. Kate was the closest thing I’ve had to a mentor since we met, and I valued her wisdom, her opinion, her enthusiasm, and her warmth more than I can say. She was my friend, and I will miss her terribly.

More than anything, I wished for a happier ending for her, that she would have beaten back her illnesses and kicked ass and taken names as usual. It wasn’t meant to be.

Today is Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, and I’ve been in synagogue for most of the morning. It’s also a day of reflection and remembrance, and today I’ve had a lot to reflect upon, remember, cry, and often inappropriately laugh about as I thought about Kate. If you’ve ever met Kate, you know she is unforgettable. May her memory be a blessing to her family, and may they be comforted.

“May the one who makes peace in the heavens make peace for us, and for all who dwell on earth. And let us say: Amen.” (Mourner’s Kaddish, Reconstructionist)


From her family, the obituary is below.

ALICE KATHERINE (“KATE”) DUFFY
Renowned romance genre editor

Kate Duffy (Alice Katherine Duffy) was instrumental in shaping the face and direction of the romance genre from the late seventies and the “romance revolution” of the early 1980s through today, when at any given time the authors she has worked with continue to populate the nation’s best seller lists.

The recipient of numerous honors from national and regional writers organizations, including the Romance Writers of America, she was the first recipient that organizations “Industry Award” in 1991. Recently, RT Book Reviews magazine announced her as the 2010 recipient of their annual Melinda Helfer Award, presented for outstanding support of and contributions to the genre.

Kate first published or worked with, some of the genre’s best known writers, including Jude Deveraux, Julie Garwood, Lori Foster, Heather Graham, Judith McNaught, Mary Janice Davidson, Jacqueline Frank and Mary Jo Putney.

Kate attended Notre Dame Academy, Trinity College, and George Washington University.  She studied at Oxford University and returned to the U.K. to work at Paddington Press.  Upon returning to the U.S. whe became an editor at Popular Library. She later worked at Dell, Simon & Schuster, where she was the founding editor of Silhouette Books, moved on to Simon & Schuster’s Pocket Books division, Harlequin Enterprises, where she founded the Worldwide Library imprint, and Kensington Publishing, where she established Brava Books.  She is also remembered for the hugely successful Tapestry Books imprint at Pocket Books which began in the early 80s and continued for a number of years.

Born January 28, 1953 in Rochester, New York to Benedict James Duffy, Jr. and Alice (Boyle) Duffy, Kate lived in Rochester, New York, Hingham, Massachusetts, London, Los Angeles, Washington D.C. and New York. She spent the bulk of her adult life living in Manhattan.  She is survived by her mother, actress Alice Duffy, her sister NBC News producer Clare Duffy, her brother Benedict Duffy and his wife Amanda, her niece Rosalind, her nephews Alex and Elliot, and legions of writers, friends and colleagues who are grateful to have known her.

Kate died at home after a long illness with a variety of complications.

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  1. Monica Spence says:

    Kate was a tough old broad in a tough business. Her honesty and integrity will be missed.

    A lovely tribute Sarah.

    Monica Spence
    President
    Long Island Romance Writers
    lirw.org

  2. A beautiful tribute to an incredible lady.  Thank you, Sarah. I’ve had a lump in my throat since the moment I heard about Kate’s passing.  The first conference workshop I ever attended (years ago) was Kate’s.  I never missed anytime she spoke at any conference since.  Condolences to all her family and friends.  She’s touched more lives than she will ever know.

  3. Jessa Slade says:

    I never had the chance to work with her—don’t think I even got a rejection from her—but her name was one I picked up from my first RWA conference. Over the years, I’d sit in on her workshops and, oh yeah, I learned a lot.  Thank you, Kate.

    And thank you, Sarah, for a wonderful tribute.

    Hugs to her family.  She will be missed by many.

  4. After meeting Kate at tons of conferences (and sharing some mutual friends and a mutual love/lust for Gerard Butler!) and years of wanting to work with Kate, I finally got the chance last year when she called me with an offer to write a trilogy for her and Brava. With just one comment, she gave me incredible insight into the dynamics of my characters and their conflict and it helped me write the story.

    I am stunned and saddened by the news and teary over the tribute to her here. I kept nodding and saying, ‘yep, that’s Kate’….

    Terri B

  5. Ashlyn Chase says:

    I had no idea until I read your post! I’m glad I got the news from you—someone who knew her and obviously cared.

    Ash

  6. Shayera says:

    What a lovely tribute.

  7. Kendra says:

    That was a wonderful tribute.  Thank you!

  8. Tish says:

    My condolences in the loss of your friend and colleague. But how wonderful to be remembered for one’s strength, intelligence, and kindness. She clearly left large ripples on the pond.

  9. Beautifully put Sarah.

    The last time I had the pleasure of seeing her was last February. Where during lunch we had the best time trying to out talk each other (I lost to her of course) while my editor, agent and daughter sat in almost stunned silence. I have the best picture of all of us from end that day. I will treasure it always.

  10. Barb Ferrer says:

    Kate was often right. It was really annoying sometimes. And if we disagreed, which we did a lot, I’d often get The Look, which I nicknamed The Kate. Many people are familiar with this look. The chin goes down. One eyebrow may go up. And clear as air, you get the message that she thinks you are out of your mind. The word “withering” comes to mind. I was the recipient of The Kate many a time. Sometimes I totally deserved it.

    This made me simultaneously laugh, snort, and cry at the same time because it was so utterly, unbelievably true and I could just see it.

    I am going to miss her so terribly.  She was my very first pitch, the first
    publishing professional I ever met, and even though I never formally
    worked with her, she was my first mentor in many ways. I learned a
    tremendous amount about how to be a professional in this industry and
    how to consider the balance of power between editors and authors. I
    also respected the hell out of her because even if she was flat wrong,
    she was always honest and that’s such a rare commodity in this industry.  She also wasn’t afraid, as the quote above so aptly illustrates, to tell you when you were flat wrong yourself.

    She was an original.  Thank God.

  11. Jenn says:

    I too met Kate at a conference, where she was on a panel for GH winners and gave us hard, sound, but still encouraging advice. I knew her best through those who spoke of her fondly or with awe, or sometimes with exasperation. I hoped one day to work with her, but to have met her was its own reward. Thanks for such a lovely tribute.

  12. Lynne Connolly says:

    Great post. I never met Kate properly, only in passing at RT, but you didn’t have to know her to be aware of the huge influence she had in the romance community and her enthusiasm for the genre.
    We won’t see her like again, as someone said once. The romance world is a bit greyer now she’s gone.

  13. Amen, Sarah.  Kate was an amazing woman and editor… it was an absolute privilege to work with her, and I’ll be forever grateful to her for buying my first book, and for having her in my life.

    It’s a sad day for romance fiction.

  14. Marie Bostwick says:

    Last lunched with Kate about a year ago.  My mom was in town and Kate called me, insisting that Mom and I come into the city so she could take us out to lunch at a swanky restaurant.  I said that I couldn’t let her buy our lunch, that we should go dutch. 
    Kate’s response.  “Of course, you can.  Walter will pay.”
    Me.  “But, Kate, I’m not even your author!”
    A reluctant pause.  A Sigh of disgust.  And, though we were on the phone, a pointed delivery of The Kate, I’m sure.  “Oh, fine then.  I guess your editor can come too.”

  15. Diana says:

    Wow. That’s one of the most beautiful tributes I’ve ever read.

  16. Thanks so much, Sarah, for that. I’m smiling with a lump in my throat. Kate was the first editor to buy me in romance. And yes, she was tough (there were some very tough moments) but always honest, smart, and deeply committed.

    I’m still finding this hard to believe. What a loss. What a shame.

  17. TJ Bennett says:

    I also met Kate Duffy at a query letter workshop at Nationals when I was pre-published. Her tough love and her insight were both razor sharp, and I remember being immensely impressed and not a little terrified of her. However, when I managed to get my courage up enough to talk with her after the workshop, she was nothing but encouraging and let me know if I sent her something, she’d be happy to read it even if it wasn’t finished yet—so I’d know if it was worth my time and hers. I remember thinking, “Wow. Just, wow.”

    I felt the seismic shock when I got up this morning and read she was gone. I can’t imagine how those of you who knew her well must be feeling now.

    TJB

  18. Kate was the first ‘New York’ editor I ever pitched to. She didn’t buy my book, but she took the time to tell me what was wrong with it. And, of course, she was right. I wanted to work with her so badly and am deeply saddened that our industry has lost such an icon.

  19. MamaNice says:

    Amen.

    Thanks for sharing your memories of her…well done.

  20. Damn, been working all day so only got the news about Kate. I’m so very sad to hear this—last spring when she went missing it sounded like it was short-term and now I’m REALLY kicking myself I never dropped her that ‘get’well’ card I’d meant to, dammit.

    Kate was one of the first industry professionals with which I had contact—at a VRW meeting in the dead of winter with crap weather. She came despite the forecast and fear of being stuck in Richmond, she was honest and candid and funny and put everyone at ease. And she cackled at the title of my first novel (Sleeping with Ward Cleaver).
    She had a good heart and will be so missed.

  21. Kathy Love says:

    I’m heartbroken at the lose of Kate.  She’s been my editor for my whole career.  She bought my first book and was still working me, 13 books later.  I feel like I’ve lost a friend, a mentor and my biggest champion.

    I wish her family and friends my sincerest condolences.  The romance industry has lost a legend and the world has lost one hell of a smart, sassy, wonderful woman.

  22. Kathy Love says:

    See, I needed her even to edit my comment.  🙁

  23. Wendy says:

    I cannot begin to convey how mind-altering the Brava line was for me when it first launched.  The sub genre of erotic romance as we know it today owes Kate Duffy a huge debt of gratitude.  Says me.

  24. Thank you for writing one of the best tributes to Kate Duffy I’ve read. I met Kate on many many occasions. She scared the shit of out me…and I would have given my eye teeth to be one of her authors. She KNEW what worked and what didn’t.

    She is a true loss to the romance community.

  25. Donna MacMeans says:

    “The Kate” look nailed it.  A loving, well – done tribute.  Kate will be missed.

  26. I met Kate Duffy for the first time at a Long Island RWA lunch. I pitched my book to her and when she asked for the partial, I almost passed out. She didn’t buy the book but I was struck by how nice she was to all the writers at the lunch, taking the time to hear our pitches.

  27. Kit Donner says:

    Thanks Sarah for giving me a glimpse of the woman and legend I never had the opportunity to meet.  I’m truly saddened over her passing and envy all those who knew her for even half a minute.

  28. Laney Landry says:

    Sarah, this is such an awesome tribute to Kate.  I know you’ll miss her.  Just know that all you learned from your time together is still inside you to draw from for years to come.

  29. The Julia Child of romance is the perfect description for Kate Duffy. I didn’t know her, but I definitely knew of her (how could anyone in this business not?), and am saddened by her death.

  30. Lori Avocato says:

    Wonderful tribute to Kate. She was a force and a doll all in one.  Kate was also a pioneer in so many aspects of publishing.  She will be truly missed.

  31. Mona Risk says:

    I met Kate four years ago when I pitched my first WIP. She wasn’t intimidating at all and tried to help me relax. Later she gave the best advice I’ve ever received from an editor: “Stay in the present. No matter what you write, stay in the present.”  She had a wonderful sense of humor. Thank you Sarah, for this tribute to a lovely lady and an unforgettable editor.

  32. Gannon says:

    What a lovely tribute, Sarah.  I never had the pleasure of meeting Kate, but I know what a huge impact she had on the romance community.  She will most definitely be missed.

  33. Laura Hamby says:

    Goodness, what sad news. I got my first ever rejection from Kate, and as far as rejections go, it was an awesome one since she took the time to tell me what the problems were.

    Condolences to her family, friends and authors. Such sad, sad news.

  34. Pamela Cayne says:

    I always wanted Kate as an agent for many reasons, but the primary one was because I knew I’d never have to utter the words, “When you said such-and-such, what did you really mean?”

    Heaven is a little brighter for our loss.

  35. Adam Wilson says:

    I met Kate only a couple of times, but I doubt that I will soon forget her. She was kind and welcoming to me as a beginning editor who was still finding his way in romance. She bought me endless Pimms cups, we laughed about the great and crazy romance business, and she doled out great advice every time I watched her speak. I’m just stunned I won’t get to see her again.

  36. Jill Shalvis says:

    I’m not functioning so well today because I already can’t imagine this writing world without her in it with me …

  37. Danielle D says:

    Kate discovered many wonderful authors—thank you Kate and may you rest in peace.

    My heart goes out to her family at this time.

  38. Binnie Syril Braunstein says:

    Sarah –

    What a lovely tribute to Kate.  So well said.  I was fortunate to hear her speak several times (beginning with my first RWA), and was fortunate to get to know her a bit when she attended the Washington Romance Writers Retreat several times.  Yes, she was certaily an icon – I thing “the Julia Child of the romance industry” as a brilliant way to describe her.  I also think she was a mensch.  Yes, today is Yom Kippur.  We say prayers for the dear departed.  I think Kate Duffy fits very well into that category.  May her memory be blessed and be a blessing.  And my condolences to her family and friends/.

    Binnie Syril Braunstein

  39. Linda Wisdom says:

    Kate was Silhouette Romance’s Editor in Chief when I sold my first two books back in ‘79.

    After that, I loved to tease her that it was her fault I was in this crazy business. She said I belonged here.

    Kate was an icon and will be sorely missed.

    Linda

  40. Beth Miller says:

    Thank you for the lovely tribute. 

    I had the privilege to interact with Kate often in the 2.5 years I’ve been at Writers House.  She always had something snarky and hilarious to say when she’d call.  Last September, she took me to lunch, but before that, she gave me a tour of Kensington Publishing.  She made it a point to introduce me to everyone that was around, from Walter Zacharius himself on down.  She gave me a rundown of how things worked over there.  It was a wonderful and educational experience.  When she learned that not only had I never seen the BBC Production North & South (Richard Armitage-yum!), but had never even heard of it,  she loaned me the DVD—on pain of death if anything were to happen to it.  🙂

    When I returned to work after my grandmother’s death this past April, she kindly expressed her condolences—something I will never forget.

    Kate, I’m sorry I won’t hear your voice again on the phone, asking to talk to “Herself.”  I’m sorry you were so ill for so long, and I’m sorry for the loss all of us who love romance will now feel.

    I hope that wherever you are now, there’s a never-ending supply of fantastic, steamy romances, and a couple of hunky guys to turn the pages for you as you read them. 

    Zichron ha’bracha—May your memory be for a blessing.

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