These days, anyone can be a baseball announcer. Except women. And I take exception to that. It’s time to storm the announcer’s booth – and we can start getting ready now. How? We can come up with our own home run signature phrase!
A what now?
Some of the best and funniest broadcasters had catchphrases (no pun intended) and signature lines when a home run is hit. Bob Uecker of the Minnesota Milwaukee Brewers: “Get up, Get outta here, Gone!” Harry Caray and Phil Rizzuto: “A home run! Holy cow!” Chris Berman from ESPN: “Back back back back back back…GONE!” Bob Prince, from the old-school days of the Pirates: “Kiss it goodbye!” See? Nothing to it.
So let’s get creative. Enter your parts o’ speech below, and come up with your own home run signature phrase. Practice it at little league. Use it in mixed groups of sports fans. Either you’ll look like you’re exceptionally knowledgeable, or people will ask to share what you’re smoking. Either way- fun for all!
And HELL YES there are prizes. I’ll pick five winners – and each winner will receive a paper copy of Jill Shalvis’ Double Play. I’m a sucker for Shalvis’ heroes, and I really enjoyed this one. The hero is an all-star pitcher who is forced to wonder if there might be something more to life than just baseball – and the heroine keeps distracting him when he needs to keep his focus around her.
So let’s play ball. You’ve got 24 hours. Batter up! Grab some pine!
Note: the results appear in a popup window, so be ye warned.
Smart Bitches Technology: Your Homerun Signature Phrase!
Holy Dragon ! That sliotar just zinged the Termolnfeckin and it won’t stop dancing ‘til it reaches abyssinia!!
Holy prairie dog ! That melon just socked the school-yard and it won’t stop sluicing ‘til it reaches France!!
Holy Zebra! That orb just dangled the Windsor Palace and it won’t stop taping ‘til it reaches Mozambique!!
I think I’ll use this at my next get together!
Holy ocelot ! That orb just occulted the Ohio and it won’t stop ostracizing ‘til it reaches the Ottoman Empire!!
Er, yes!
Holy Cassowary ! That globe just hit the mound and it won’t stop thrusting ‘til it reaches Fiji!
Holy duck-billed platypus ! That bowling ball just pontificated the New York City and it won’t stop sleeping ‘til it reaches Egypt!!
Holy duck ! That snowball just caught the sky and it won’t stop flying ‘til it reaches Australia!!
Holy Welcome Swallow ! That jaw-breaker just topped the tunnel and it won’t stop colonizing ‘til it reaches New Zealand!!
(who knew bird names were such fertile ground?)
Holy hawk ! That bead just died the the backyard and it won’t stop singing ‘til it reaches Slobovia!!
Holy rhino ! That bowling ball just rammed the bedroom and it won’t stop howling ‘til it reaches scotland!!
Holy lemming ! That lemon just leapt the lexington and it won’t stop leaving ‘til it reaches luxembourg!!
Holy black-footed ferret ! That cantaloupe just elevated the New Orleans and it won’t stop explaining ‘til it reaches Russia!!
Holy tiger! That ball just gone the bed room and it won’t stop screwing ‘til it reaches Mexico!!
Holy sponge ! That moon pie just chewed the hidden underground laboratory and it won’t stop vacuuming ‘til it reaches Kyrgyzstan!!
Holy ring-tailed lemur ! That planet just leaped the mall and it won’t stop pleasing ‘til it reaches Saudi Arabia!!
Holy gopher ! That disk just tossed the green monster and it won’t stop flying ‘til it reaches Timbuktu!!
Yes, I am a Red Sox fan!
Holy zebra ! That donut just thrilled the cave and it won’t stop sucking ‘til it reaches Philippines!!
Holy rabbit ! That knob just cleaned the hilltop and it won’t stop laving ‘til it reaches peru!!
Holy armadillo ! That head just honked the kitchen and it won’t stop honking ‘til it reaches Ulan Bator!!
Holy lemur ! That oatmeal raisin cookie just screwing the under the interstate and it won’t stop sucking ‘til it reaches The Death Star!!
(Birds in the afterlife)
Holy Bushtit ! That egg just whacked the pan and it won’t stop frying ‘til it reaches Hell!!
Holy Yellowhammer ! That orb just crashed the fjord and it won’t stop rolling ‘til it reaches Valhalla!!
Holy Badger! That orb just napped the Vegas and it won’t stop skipping till it reaches Tasmnia!
Holy Giraffe ! That planet just was the Boston and it won’t stop molting ‘til it reaches Croatia!!
Oh my! Lets try again…it’s got to be better than this!
Holy Kangaroo ! That tomato just has the bank and it won’t stop leaving ‘til it reaches Malta!!
Holy Beaver ! That globe just trotted the moon and it won’t stop whizzing ‘til it reaches Zimbabwe!!
Of course, my inner Grammar Nazi wants to correct this, but I’m forcing myself to leave it alone. 🙂
Gotta love Zimbabwe.
Holy wallaby ! That cantelope just opened the shed and it won’t stop shoveling ‘til it reaches Kyrgyzstan!!
Holy wombat ! That frisbee just lurked the hannover and it won’t stop loafing ‘til it reaches kazakstan!!
I’m not even going to try and figure that out.
Holy Mole ! That cantaloupe just spiked the roof and it won’t stop screaming ‘til it reaches Peru!!
Hilarious, and unintential use of the little clawed Mole (I bet a most reading heard “Mole -E” in their heads). Blame the cat for mole on the brain, and squirrel, starling, sparrow, rabbit, and snake.
Holy weasel ! That globe just spun the skyscraper and it won’t stop whizzing ‘til it reaches Siberia!!
Holy moose ! That cantaloupe just sprung the graveyard and it won’t stop running ‘til it reaches Belarus!!
“Holy badger ! That bowling ball just bashed the basement and it won’t stop bouncing ‘til it reaches Bohemia!! “
Holy Marmoset ! That cocktail olive just flagellated the cul-de-sac and it won’t stop vibrating ‘til it reaches Hong Kong!!
Actually, the Giants have a female announcer…
Holy Coyote! That marble just became the Fresno and it won’t stop walking ‘til it reaches Canada!!
This is just so irresistible
Holy platypus ! That meatball just trashed the Ulan Bator and it won’t stop rafting ‘til it reaches Fiji!!
Holy Fan-Tailed Berrypecker ! That frisbee just nailed the woods and it won’t stop screaming ‘til it reaches Papua New Guinea!!
I KNOW this is about baseball. But when I read the tag lines I was reminded of the late great Brian Johnston (cricket pundit). Whose classic clanger whilst announcing the names of the players was :-
“The batsman’s Holding , the bowler’s Willey”……..Cue howls of laughter from the other commentators & most of the BBC’s
listeners !
Holy tiger! That sun just flamed Texas and it won’t stop napping ‘til it reaches India!
Holy weasel ! That marble just wanted the kitchen and it won’t stop chattering ‘til it reaches kazakhstsan!!
Holy muskrat ! That charlie brown’s head just dinged the Sahara Desert and it won’t stop toasting ‘til it reaches Canada!!
Holy Sea Urchin ! That gumball just rode the bullpen and it won’t stop twitching ‘til it reaches Siberia!!