Behold, we have a special message from Sherry Thomas, whose new website is sleek and sexy like things that are sleek and sexy:
It so happens that I have set Not Quite A Husband—coincidentally—in a spot that is very much in the news: the Swat Valley, which in 1897 broke out in a fierce rebellion against the British, inspired by the exhortations of a certain Mad Fakir and is now, history repeating itself, a Taliban stronghold and a flashpoint of conflict between the Taliban and the Pakistani government.
The events of Not Quite A Husband—a man traveling to the North-West Frontier of the British Raj to find his former wife and bring her home, because her father lies dying in London—unfold against the 1897 rebellion. And I have the perfect movie title for the book.
ESCAPE FROM SWAT VALLEY!
Let’s have a contest titling your favorite romance novels with a little action adventure angle for the big marquee. For example, Laura Kinsale’s The Shadow and the Star becomes HELP! I MARRIED A SECRET NINJA. Loretta Chase’s Mr. Impossible can be DAPHNE PEMBROKE AND THE PAPYRI OF DOOM.
And if you think ESCAPE FROM SWAT VALLEY sucks, you can rename it too!
I’ll pick as winners the three that make me laugh hardest, plus two randomly, just for playing. Winners get a copy of Not Quite A Husband.
Not Quite A Husband hits stores May 19, 2009.
You have 24 hours to rename your favorite book, or Sherry’s new one, so ready, set, get to it!
Durn, Robinjn beat me to it.
Okay, how about TRANSGENDER TERRORISTS IN LOVE for The Masqueraders, same author?
North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell becomes
“Wealthy SWG (Single White Gentleman) Looking for SWVD (Single White exVictor’s Daughter) for Arguing, Snubbing, and Botched Proposals. Must be able to get along with Mother.”
Or, if you’re willing to lean heavily on the opening scene, Patricia Gaffney’s CROOKED HEARTS could be sold as NUNS WITH GUNS.
Endearment by La Vyrle Spencer becomes
She Lied About Everything; He Thinks It’s Despicable but the Magic Hoo-Hoo Got to Him First… He’s Doomed.
THE DIVINE AVENGER (aka Servant books by L. L. Foster)
Jo Beverley’s A Lady’s Secret becomes
NUN ON THE RUN
The Mad Mathematician’s Peculiar Duchess (Flowers From the Storm by Laura Kinsale
Cat! That is exactly how I was going to rename Whitney, My Love. My second choice was The Extremely Clueless and Abusive Duke.
Great minds and all that.
OK, I’ll play. BROKEN WING by Judith James becomes:
“The French Prostitute Swashbuckling Privateer Concert Pianist’s Woman”
My lame attempts for Gurkhe’s “Guilty Pleasures”:
INFATUATION AMONG THE RUINS or
DANCING ABOUT ARCHEOLOGY
For Loretta Chase’s Lord of Scoundrels, “THE INCREDIBLE SULK!”
Starring, of course, Sebastian Leslie Guy de Ath Ballister.
As You Desire by Connie Brockway becomes
WHEN HARRY MET DIZZY…
Judith Ivory’s Untie My Heart: A Chair to Remember
Darned Firefox crashed on me before I could submit mine! I can’t remember what all I had exactly, but here are the two I can remember.
For Goddess of the Rose:
Love’s Sacrifice: Blood in the Roses
Blood in the Minotaur’s Garden
For The Shadow and the Star:
The Virgin Surf Ninja’s Seamstress Secretary Bride <- less a movie title and more a play on category titles.
I’m not able to come up with anything as awesome as many of these. I was especially fond of Castiron’s dissertation title for Pride and Prejudice, though.
Crossing my fingers I might get chosen at random.
Geez, after reading everyone elses I don’t know how funny I can be, but I’ll give it a shot.
Prince of Swords by Anne Stuart becomes THE TAROT THIEF
Master of Dragons by Angela Knight becomes DRAGON KNIGHTS, FAIRY DAZE
Be With Me by Maya Banks becomes THREE LOVERS AND A MURDERER
Twilight by Stephenie Meyer (not really a romance but I want to rename it anyways) becomes WHAT DO YOU MEAN REAL VAMPIRES DON’T SPARKLE?
thirty99, nope sorry I don’t have 30$ and 99 cents
Geez, after reading everyone elses I don’t know how funny I can be, but I’ll give it a shot.
Prince of Swords by Anne Stuart becomes THE TAROT THIEF
Master of Dragons by Angela Knight becomes DRAGON KNIGHTS, FAIRY DAZE
Be With Me by Maya Banks becomes THREE LOVERS AND A MURDERER
Twilight by Stephenie Meyer (not really a romance but I want to rename it anyways) becomes WHAT DO YOU MEAN REAL VAMPIRES DON’T SPARKLE?
Sorry mine got posted twice. . .sigh. . .
I’m shocked nobody’s already done this one. Joanna Bourne’s The Spymaster’s Lady: The Spy Who Shagged Me
If only there hadn’t been that Leslie Nielsen comedy, then Joanna Burke’s “Spymaster’s Lady” could be “Spy Hard”.
Sherry’s “Delicious” could be “A Taste for Danger!” It’s not like Hollywood cares about false advertising.
“The Taking of Magic Hoo-Hoo, 1, 2, 3”
Breaking Dawn by Stephanie Meyer – 768 pages of WTFs.
Putting my name in the hat.
Eh. I’m not good at these sorts of things. Blue Blood on the Dance Floor: A Conspiracy in 3/4 Time? Could be about sixty percent of regencies, but was thinking of Cotillion specifically.
VAMPIRE PRINCE VS. VAMPIRE PRINCESS: LOVE BITES
a.k.a. Jessica’s Guide to Dating on the Dark Side
What if we intertwine a bunch of Julia Quinn’s Bridgerton books? They could be Five Easy Pieces (and you KNOW which ones those are).
Wouldn’t My Lord and Spymaster be Spy Hard? And The Spymaster’s Lady would then be the sequel, Spy Harder.
Rushing around here; I’m sure I’ll think of several when I’m in the car and can’t suggest them!
Great contest idea, and I cannot WAIT for this book!!!
Don’t enter me in the drawing (for obvious reasons, since I’ve already read Not Quite a Husband and adore it), but here’s my suggestion for NQaH: MISTAKES ON A PLAIN.
So appropriate, especially because there’s that part in the middle where Leo says, “Enough is enough! I have had it with these motha fucking mistakes we keep making on this motha fucking plain!”
…. What? You don’t remember writing that?
Julia Quinn’s It’s In His Kiss becomes Search for the Family Jewels … yes, I like double entendres.
Can’t think of anything else clever atm
agnes and the hitman becomes multiple murders and a wedding
Laura Kinsale’s The Shadow and the Star becomes . . .
The Secret Ninja
Midsummer Moon becomes . . . Attack of the Hedgehog
The Marriage Bed by Laura Lee Guhrke becomes
The Adulterer Who Blames His Wife For His Wandering Penis
Bet Me by Jennifer Crusie becomes
He Wins Her With Doughnuts
or
Shoes Reveal Inner Kink
or
Thank God for Schmuck Boyfriends!
Spymaster’s Lady = The Joanna Bourne Ultimatum
Twilight = Haters of the Lost Spark
(okay, twilight’s not my fave book but I couldn’t resist)
Can’t wait for May 19!!
Jeaniene Frost’s Night Huntress series is:
Half-Vampire Seeks Supernatural Badass Who Can Handle Mother-In-Law From Hell
Lora Leigh’s wolf breeds: Natural-Born Rufies
Devil in Winter by Lisa Kleypas becomes:
You’re not so s-s-s-smart after all S-S-Sebatian.
Dang, I’m not a huge suspense fan. Not that I like my romances completely without adventure, just that I usually don’t specifically seek it out.
Oh! Ooh! Jane Feather! “To Tame A Wicked Prince”—> “Secrets of a Russian Spy”. No need to bring up the pesky fact that the Cold War is decades in the future …
Hm, which makes me want historicals set in the early-to-mid 20th century. I suppose my US history class is getting to me; it’s the end of the year, so we’ve finally arrived breathless in the 50’s. Yeah, it’s kind of a slow-moving class. Does anyone know any of those?
Ooh, could I rename “Cordelia’s Honor” too? Maybe “He Called Her Captain”. That sounds more like the title of a 50’s romance comic, actually. Huh, another book about spies and Russians, sort of, with nothing to do with the Cold War.
Romancing Mister Bridgerton = Right Under My Nose. Doubles as its own pr0n title, too.
Lynn Kurland’s When I Fall in Love becomes Someone Goes Back in Time Again. Actually, that could be the title of a lot of her books…
Broken Wing becomes If Jack Sparrow Was a Cutter or I’m on a Boat.
Mistral’s Kiss by Laurell K. Hamilton becomes Dude, Where’s the Plot?
Lynsay Sand’s Love Bites becomes Making Vampirism Scientific, and Therefore Unsexy.
Not very interesting, I know, but I was under a deadline.
Count me in to the giveaway please!
In an attempt to be funny before work (not usually a good bet) –
The Duke and His Hedgehog (Midsummer Moon by Laura Kinsale).
or
Porn, Paternity & Pyrotechnics (Black Silk by Judith Ivory)
(yep, definitely in it for the random!!)
Outlander by Diana Gabaldon:
BACK TO THE FUTURE HUSBAND
Duke of Shadows by Meredith Duran:
OUT OF INDIA