So poor Jane Austen is now afflicted with zombies, aliens, predators, and all manner of terrible things – and here I thought Mr. Collins was pretty damn awful.
Do you get the feeling that poor Jane is getting an undue amount of paranormal attention?
What about the other masterpieces of romance fiction?
What about MORE paranormal or just plain extra more better oddity added to an already-paranormal romance?
I have two words: Hellooooo Hollywood!
Use the random Romance And More! generator created with patented Bitchenatin’® Technology to create your own blockbuster. And hook us up in the comments with any screenplay pitch blurbs you may have for your work in progress – 25 words or less, please. Best one as judged by your comments and yours truly will win a $25 gift certificate to Amazon or the bookstore of the winner’s choosing. 24 hours starting now.
The Next Hollywood romance blockbuster will be:
Dark Lover with Space Traveling Elves
Beth’s “needing” attracts more than just Wrath’s mhassive mhan sauhsage. Will the BDB survive horny crotch sized enemies with pointy ears?
I had to do one more, this is fun. lol
The Duke and I with Obstinant Loch Ness Monsters
A heroine who has been studying the elusive Loch Ness Monster joins a rakish Duke in the search for his family’s treasure guarded by the monsters.
Paradise with shoe-shopping Baba Yaga!
The villagers thought she wanted their children for a tasty meal.
What she really longed for was a pair of Manolos to match her babushka…
Pride and Prejudice with talking mongeese
Darcy forms a circus act with a group of talking mongeese to gain Elizabeth Bennet’s attention. Will his talented little beasts win her heart?
Paradise
Pole dancing goblins
When he first saw the goblin’s four heaving bosoms glistening in the strip club’s spotlight, Matt knew that he had found… Pole Dancing Paradise
The Hunger Games with accountant Yetis
The wild beasts desired a “balanced” diet of willing virgins but alas there were none to be found..
Wait, “Pride and PREDATOR?” They mean, like, Yautja, right? Because if so, this is going to be a combination of two of my favorite things.
Mistress with line-dancing zombies
She came to London to stop a blackmailer, and she had the perfect plan: pose as the mistress of the mysterious, the infamous, the presumed deceased Earl of Masters. But what is Iphiginia Bright to do when Marcus St. Cloud returns… and wants her brains?
Maybe she could live with that. He’s an Earl, and he’s hot. But his obsession with the Texas Two-Step is one step too far.
Pride and Prejudice with epicurious pygmies
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a tribe of pygmies in possession of refined tastes, must be in want of true culinary Nirvana. They believe they have found it in Elizabeth Bennet’s excellent boiled potatoes. Little do they know the Bennets are perfectly able to keep a cook… and Elizabeth realizes when they find out, her kidnappers will put her on the menu!
Mr. Impossible with tap-dancing Chupacabras
Rupert Carsington could take most anything in stride, although when Daphne found those vampiric reptiles in one of her blasted pyramids even he was nonplussed. Just for a second. Then he realized their potential. Can he convince his beloved the Chupacabras deserve to live out their dreams of the music hall stage? Or will she beat him over the head with her Coptic Lexicon until he’s forced to relent?
rebyj‘s “mhassive mhan sauhsage” made me laugh. And KimberlyD is the queen of the word limit—clever!
[I got The Spanish Prince’s Virgin Bride with flesh eating were-slugs!]
Kelli, I think that movie was already done in Slither 🙂 It had Cap’n Tightpants if you haven’t seen it yet.
I adjusted mine slightly (revisions!) to War & Peace with Dominican were-ducks:
Against a backdrop of avian amour and ponderous prose, a weary winged migrant dodges threatening flak to rendezvous with his secretive insurance agent, Miss Fudd.
…Oh, good grief. I was so amused by the idea of movie blurbs I somehow missed the word limit entirely. 😛 Neeever mind! Nothing to see here. *Shuffles off in embarrassment.*
Lord of Scoundrels meets Buffy, the Vampire Slayer.
To save her brother, Jessica Trent will fight the devil. She never expected to like him. Love is hell just got a whole new meaning.
Persuasion with tentacled elder gods!
The Great Old Ones separated Anne Elliot from Frederick Wentworth once. Now, years later, can they defy eldritch horrors and rekindle true love?
Kiss of a Demon King with pole-dancing goblins
Cherry took any dancing gig she could get to pay her way through Law School, but the Demon King’s pole was not what she expected.
Kaishai thanks for the heads up. Does not follow directions was on many of my report cards;(
The Serpent Prince and Six-Legged Antelopes
Iddesleigh avenges his brother’s death, dueling with the six-legged antelopes who killed him. Afterwards, making love to Lucy, bespeckled with antelope-bits, he roars his release.
Dreaming of You with Vexed Alchemists
Along with the Sara’s spectacles, Derek hides within his coat the secret for turning mediocre drama into publishing gold. Vexed alchemists revolt.
Program 64, I need to get with the program 64 times!
the Demon King’s pole was not what she expected.
Pure win.
I got “Born in Fire with Soulful Ogres”
Not just a concert, not just a band, but an intruduction to
hell and eternal suffering…
Sam
I had no idea The Hunger Games was a romance.
The Duke and I with Hyperventalating Dwarves
Lola fell for Jo N. Wayne, aka Duke, a hot, slow-talking zombie. But between lusty non-breathing dwarves and shot-riddled madmen, what’s a girl to do?
Me either..lol
Slow Heat in Heaven
The world is going to explode. Can Darin Truth and Cari Onloving, yeti accountants, fight off desire’s flames while destroying the Evil Global Warming Kiwi ?
(now with that announcer’s voice) This Summer. One Man. One Woman. One giant exploding Kiwi. Passion warming her globes, hot man-fur covering his secret fears. It’s Slow Heat In Heaven.
Lord of the Fading Lands with Patriotic Jersey Devils
They thought they were fighting the ultimate evil, but the powers of Azrahn are nothing compared to the Patriotic NEW Jersey Devils. Fey magic and firearms collide this summer. This is the mafia like you’ve never seen it before.
A Michael Bay Film
(god help us all)
I would read this. I would pay money for a movie ticket, too.
I can just see Wentworth fighting off a tentacled sea-god from the deck of his ship!
Lord of the Fading Lands with Patriotic Jersey Devils
Azrahn is nothing compared to the Patriotic NEW Jersey Devils. It’s the mafia vs. magic and you’ll be blown away.
A Michael Bay Film
(god help us all)
(The word count is better in this one)
Knight in Shining Armor with Accountant-Loving Aliens
Could a knight with a passion for numbers find passion with the lady with green hair? Will chartered accountancy or her extra-terrestrial cousins save her from the stake?
[Thief with albino somehow gave me this. . .]
My Lady Notorious with Saks-addicted hags!
Notorious thought she’d seen everything. . .until she stumbled across a underground corporation of shopping hags. Now she must save Saks before the hags destroy it.
Feel89. . .some mornings I feel like I’m 89
Whoops missed the limit. Let me try again.
Knight in Shining Armor with Accountant-Loving Aliens
Could a knight’s passion for numbers equal his passion for the lady with green hair?
The Bride with tentacled elder gods!
Lady Chastity Penniless gets more suction than she bargained for when Peter, King of the Giant Tentacle Gods, takes her as his sex slave!
The generator gave me:
“Slow Heat in Heaven with pole-dancing goblins!”
It was a match made in slow burning hell when not-so-shy Miss Heaven caught a glimpse of the thick-poled goblin dance group going full monty. (A book not for the faint of heart)
The Shadow and the Star with pimp-handed gargoyles
She’s a working girl who is trying to break through writing while her Johns sleep. The gargoyles keep asking for their money. What’s a hooker to do?
One more…
If His Kiss is Wicked with flesh eating were-slugs!
If his kiss is wicked, then his flesh eating were-slugs are heaven, and he had only one question for her—Dine in or carry out?
If you click again with the title it gives you, you get something even funnier. I started with men and women, and ended with
My Lady Notorious with Boiled Witches
Notorious Lady M. was known to all in the kingdom as the bane of witches. Until she fell for a young warlock, who ended her witch boiling ways.
I got “Bet Me” with party-hopping basilisks
um…
Chicken Marsala and Cal, Min are the least of her worries. But she never counted on the huge snakes that want in on their fun!
The Serpent Prince with were-hamsters:
Can reptilian nobility find True Love with a hot-blooded commoner or will she only be yet another pleasingly plump, slightly twitchy (yet
tasty
) plaything for this cold-blooded prince?
The local avian wildlife complaining about suds in the fountain saved a twentieth century girl from the embarrassment of baring all to a medieval court:
– Knight in Shining Armour with telepathic swans
[woman21 – well, yes and no.]
Hmm, “Paradise with virgin angels”… That’s just too damn obvious, but I’ll try to take my mind out of the gutter:
Shipwrecked on a lonely planet, Lieutenant Dianne Michaels discovers a new alien race. The peaceful inhabitants of Seraphim are not as innocent as they seem.
For the Roses with Trampy Vampires
Mary Rose returns to save her brothers from vicious vixens of the night, and finds these hellish ‘hos sure do suck!
let me try that again. things got a little jumbled up in my head.
Chicken Marsala and Cal are the least of Min’s worries. But she never counted on the huge snakes that want in on their fun!
Lord of Scoundrels with telepathic swans!
To break a death curse Lord Dain must eat a fabled swan who to his horror turns into a telepathic beauty every full moon.
rebyj you’re right it is too fun to just do one!
The Grand Sophy with hostile dragons:
She’s taking the ton by storm… firestorm, but can handling hostile dragons compete with Cousin Charles? Leave it to Sophy to control the fire