Have you ever wondered to yourself, “Self, I wonder what Sarah thinks about at 6:40 am before she’s had caffeine?”
Well, wonder no more. Here’s a sample!
Following the discussion during our last liveblog about the use of the word “prostate” during a sex scene in K.A. Mitchell’s Custom Ride, I got to thinking about the word “prostate.”
Within the context of m/m romance and sex scenes, the prostate is big pimpin, as stimulation thereof can yield mad happy pants, if you know what I’m saying.
Yet the discussion we had questioned the use of the word itself, since it’s rather clinical and we’re so used to the euphemism buffet when we talk about ye olde boot knockin’.
So I got to thinking some more: if m/m romance were written during the 80’s heyday of historical romance, what words would the major authors have used to refer to the prostate?
The clitoris was called anything from a “love nubbin” to “her center of pleasure.” There were rampant pikes, rigid arousals, and hardnesses everywhere.
So what would would they have used for the prostate? Butt nubbin? No, can’t use the word “butt.” Pleasure ridge? Deeply passionate tubuloalveolar exocrine gland?
Got any ideas?
How about the “woo woo walnut”
Okay, who puts up the validation code? I am not freaking kidding: “came69”
Of course, m/m 69 can involve a little woo woo walnut play, and probably should…
haha!
From m/m fanfic that I’ve stumbled across they usually refer to the sexual terms taint, penis, prostrate, and rectum for stimulation. I haven’t really seen anything that makes me think 80s terminology.
So I’m going to throw out Urban Dictionary references in the act and on the prostrate:
The center of all joy in a man’s body…
Walnut kind of shape…
Mangina…
Arse orgasm/Dry orgasm…
Oh, dear, must I?
The hidden switch
The centre of his pleasure
The hot button
The jizz-switch (let it be known that I hate the word “jizz”. It sounds like a carbonated energy drink: mountain bikers hurling themselves off ledge, legs splayed like eagle’s wings, screaming “JIZZ!”)
“His aching interior” (Like what your Polish grandpa says at the end of a hard day of gardening. “Oooh, my achin’ interior!”)
The most baffling one I have ever heard is “o for operator”. O for operator? Seriously? Like, you only hit it in an emergency? Like you’ve been going at it for four hours and his face is turning purple and you’re afraid if it doesn’t end soon he’ll have an aneurysm?
ROFL! Somebody HAS to do the commercial for this drink and post it on YouTube.
Note to self….never drink and read one of Sarah’s posts when the post starts like this.
As a gay man, I must point out that there are a few things up in there that are slightly more reminiscent of walnuts than the prostate. Usually, they’re not a good thing to come across. D:
In my experience, the prostate is more like a grape than a nut – sort of a soft, squishy patch that, when tickled, produces the most interesting reactions. Perhaps something more like “fluffy button”? 😛
Of course, when actually having gay sex, the men I’ve been with actually do tend to be quite clinical in their descriptions, so calling it the prostate isn’t actually all that inaccurate. In fact, one time the word “manjina” came up mid-coitus, and I just couldn’t bring myself to keep going. 🙁
PS: apologies for using “actually” more than once in a sentence.
Oh dear—I can’t think of anything you guys haven’t covered…
musky sweet spot (ick?)
pimple of pleasure (ick ick?)
baby hot potato (now that’s just weird…)
rigid inner sanctum of masculine lust (okay, that’s very 80’s)
inner nipple flipper (makes no sense, but consonance rocks!)
hidden whoopee button
the secret on-switch for old-faithful
the big cashew in the mixed bowl of nuts
or, (my favorite)
that secret bundle of screaming nerves that made him gnaw on the pillow
makes68… like, uhm, finding the prostate makes 68 feel like 69?
(Jen B—I absolutely KNEW you’d have something informative to add to this discussion! Don’t ask me how, but I knew…)
There’s got to be a joke about Grapenuts there, but I just can’t come up with it.
For those of you jizz problems:
Makes me laugh everytime.
Ashwinder: that’s our solution!
“She tenderly massaged him, slipping the tips of her fingers deeper and deeper, then felt him convulse as she ran her nails over his quivering grapenuts…”
Word? Hope29
Ha!
I had to do it.. I went and looked up grape nut facts:
Go forth and giggle.
Friends play an important part in our life. I find many nice friends at the millionaire & celebrity dating club ^^^^^^MillionaireLoving. C O M^^^^^^. They are honest and humorous. It is a nice site. Hope you can find more wealthy friends there.
A friend of mine (who happens to be gay) coined a phrase, or repeated it from a m/m book, not sure which. It still brings hilarity, and I apologize for inflicting it:
Clutching Man P—-y.
@NickH
My sympathies. I can certainly see how that would kill the mood. I never would have thought anyone would use that outside bad internet porn. So sad.
I’ve used pleasure knot in my writing, but that’s because the story takes place in a fantasy world and I wasn’t certain they would have the word prostate and well, it’s clinical.
Oh the show Weeds, two of the characters are on couches with a coffee table between them arguing about what that space is called. One of them calls out to the housekeeper, “Hey Lupita, settle an argument for us. What do you call the thing between the dick and the asshole?”
And she answers “The coffee table.”
Also, this clip on youtube from Weeds is very informative: masturbation lesson
OKay—because I’m a loser and euphemisms fascinate me, I was actually thinking about this as I fell asleep. I woke up with the words ‘love muffin’ firmly planted in my brain, and I think I’ll quit while I’m ahead.
FWIW, I think Robin Schone referred to it as the almond, which sounds closer to grape size than walnut size.
already29…yes, I’ve had similar thoughts
Weeds is awesome – I saw that episode and when Lupita said that I think I about died from laughter.
I can see where mangina/manjina would totally be a mood killer. I’m sure other terms would do the same. It sounds insulting now that I think about it on the same level as cunt. cRude instead of sexy.
My issue with mangina/manjina and all it’s even cruder cousins is that they equate receptivity with femaleness in a way that seems demeaning and sexist and asshat-y. That sort of thing always makes me want to smack the person——and not in the fun way.
I don’t know why but all I can think of is a guy on Alli and then trying this and someone thinking “Hey… natural lubricant!”
It makes me terrified of assholes.
I know… I have issues!
However, in the face of the game… why not his butt bean? Or perhaps his “ticket to heaven” oooor “his O Face spot”
Well, in medical school, it was described (this was in the seventies) as a spongy mound, also as a large soft walnut. We were advised not to be concerned if palpating it caused the patient to have an erection. There were amazing rumors about classmates practicing these exams on each other…. If there is not a story idea in there, I’ll be surprised.
yes 19!
This whole comment thread made me giggle.
A long time ago before erotic romance was hitting the scene, I did read an anal scene (it was M/F, though, so I don’t know if it counts), but he “plundered her wasteland.”
And the Mister says that the other word for ‘taint’ is ‘chin rest.’
Thankyou for all the laughs
Ive thought on it and I think I prefer prostate or gland…both are clinical but they just seem more realistic to me.
After this convo I’m probably going to be forever making lists of different names for it in future books I read LOL
Along the same lines, assgasm seems very appropriate. Brings to mind all manner of sloppy bottoms. And that ain’t just reserved for men, either.