Have a look at this festive tree. Go on, gaze up on it.
For today’s giveaway, we can ponder this beautiful image and get creative. What better way to be inspired than by 9’ Pre-Lit White Crystal Pine Upside Down Artificial Christmas Tree. And as you gaze upon the inverted, perhaps subverted, wonder, ask yourself this burning, delightful question:
What Christmas carols would have been written had all trees looked like 92-pound $800.00 upside-down white-frosted vaginas?
Because this is CLEARLY a case for a ding dong merrily on high.
Leave your suggestion, your parody, or your suggestive carol goodness in the comments during the next 24 hours, and winner gets NOT that tree. No, I wouldn’t do that. The horror! The winner will get a $50 gift certificate to Amazon.com, suitable for purchasing many, many joyful things.
[Thanks to Iron Lesbian #2 for the link].
I’m dreaming of a white coochie, just like the one I had to shave…..
Deidre
To the tune of “Rudolph the red nosed Reindeer”
Well you know pine trees and pear trees are Christmastime favorites.
Pine cones and popcorn and sweet candy canes dressed.
But do you recall the most amazing tree choice of all.
A fluffy white vajayjay
sitting on the showroom floor.
The people stop and gape at
this tree they’ve never seen before.
All of the other trees are
boring on comparison
‘cause giant white vajayjays
bring much joy for everyone!
O Christmas Tree
How pretty you look with a few drinks in me
I’m sure by day’s light
I’ll kick myself
But I will enjoy your beauty tonite.
Thank you Melissandre for your version of
. LOL! I also liked your
. I can’t do better.
O vulva tree! O vulva tree!
How vag-like are thy branches!
Could only think of a couplet before my brain broke.
Bonkin’ around the vulva tree at the Christmas party, drunk;
Mistletoe hanging from the belts of many a hopeful hunk.
Bonkin’ around the vulva tree; let the joyful screaming ring.
Some like sausage and some like pie, and some like everything!
You will get a sentimental feeling when you hear
Voices singing, “Let’s be jolly! Deck the balls with boughs of holly!”
Bonkin’ around the vulva tree, have a happy holiday!
Everyone’s dancing horizontally in that old perverted way.
You will get a sentimental feeling when you hear
Voices singing, “Let’s be jolly! Deck the balls with boughs of holly!”
Bonkin’ around the vulva tree—have a horny holiday!
The thighs are shining, the thongs are green,
The breasts and the hips all sway.
So much flesh upon display,
Most men would be hard all day.
But none of these sights can tempt me much.
There’s something special I long to touch….
I’m dreaming of a white hoo-hoo
Unlike any hoo-hoo I’ve known,
For it’s cold and spikey
But I tell you, crikey!
One glance and more than my mind is blown.
I’m dreaming of a white hoo-hoo
With every pervy verse I write.
May your days be merry and bright,
And may all your Christmas vags be white.