Dear DocTurtle:
I’m a big fan of your wife’s site, and Lord knows, there’s more than enough cover snark to go around. And I completely agree, some of the Harlequin Presents! titles are enough to make your teeth hurt like you ate a glazed donut with a cavity. I’m particularly not fond of the “baby of shame” series, which makes me want to get all fidgety and stabby the nearest paperback.
And Lordy knows, I love a good random title generator. We’ve been known to play with such technology hereabouts, and mock the occasional Presents title. So it’s not like there isn’t plenty of mocking room going on. There’s like a mocking mansion with separate parlors for mocking at various times of the day, with all the mockage that floats about.
I so dig your sense of humor, too – random mammal generator? Win!. You went to the Jack Daniels distillery in Lynchburg before your wedding? Also win. I’ve been there. It’s a dry county. The irony is delicious.
So really, sir, did you have to go there? Did you have to pair the silly humor of a Random Romance Title Generator with the text:
“low-grade throwaway bodice rippers put out by the thousands by Harlequin and similar publishers….”
Did you really, really have to go there? I won’t pick apart the layered fallacy of that sentence, except to say: you don’t know from much. The cover art: preposterous. The titles? Don’t get me started. The contents? Not bodice ripper, not low-grade, and certainly not throwaway. Not by a longshot.
I challenge you to a duel! A duel of reading! I shall pick out a Harlequin that is pretty damn fantastic, and I shall send it to you and your wife to read. Perhaps romance isn’t your cup of tea, but certainly you can evaluate fiction for fiction’s sake, and read a story that might just alter your judgment of the category romance genre. I mean, the brain that came up with The Strongbadian Paper Company Sales Representative’s Wily Marquess can face the task I propose.
I await your reply. Email me (sarah @ smartbitchestrashybooks.com) any time.
Yours,
SB Sarah
“The Scottish Trillionaire’s Feminist Duchess”
Psst- Got a book to suggest for the duel? Leave a comment.
The Scottish Rogue’s Buxom Feminist
The Parisian Pirate’s Tasty Lady
The Arabian Communications Major’s Lovely Maiden
The Celtic Paper Company Sales Representative’s Lovely Model
]
this is just way too much fun!!!
I had to go back for more (God, help me, it’s addictive.)
The Austro-Hungarian Sheik’s Anarcho-Syndicalist Fishmongeress
Seriously, this book needs to be written.
His opinions on romance might be a little out of touch… but the title generator is bringing the laughs!
“The Mediterranean Rogue’s Bluestockinged Personal Trainer”? Amazing.
A few years ago someone gave me a 70s-era Harlequin they’d found in their late grandmother’s belongings. I cherish the title: The Doctor is In. . . different.
nadia, absolutely right. The category romances are a training ground for all the most popular in the romance/romantic suspense genre.
You can also add to your list:
Debbie Macomber
Sherryl Woods
Susan Mallery
Linda Lael Miller
Brenda Joyce
I don’t read many categories anymore, just once in awhile for a change of pace but I do have a few by Sherryl Woods tucked away for the next time I have a doctor’s appointment. My doctor kept me cooling my heels in the examining room for 1 1/2 hours the last time I was there. A category romance fits very nicely in the old purse!
The Scottish Sadist’s Gold-Digging Duchess
I certainly hope as a gold-digging noblewoman I could pick a someone less cruel.
The Pacific Islander Cad’s Bemused Model
So now I’m confused and with a loser . . .
The Highland Legal Consultant’s Supine Fishmongeress
Lawl. Hope he doesn’t plan to run for office in the future.
The Scottish Prince’s Feminist Bride
There we go. That’s my title.
Also, I’m a wolverine.
A dikdik. I’m telling you, there’s something creepy about that mammal generator. I’ve been getting more and more heavily into writing M/M fiction lately—one out, one coming, two in the woiks.
dikdik
M/M
That’s just weird.
(Sorry, I don’t know squat about Harlequin Presents! novels, but . . . sheesh . . . “bodice rippers”? I suppose Mr. Originality is happy to have generated a firestorm of controversy that will lead to a roller coaster of emotions.
dikdik (I just like typing it!)
The Mayan Performance Artist’s Depraved Princess
I could play with that site for hours.
Wryhag, dikdiks will take over the world someday, you’ll see!
dik dik
I just had to look it up (and it is fun to type with people looking over your shoulder) It’s a small antelope.
http://www.awf.org/content/wildlife/detail/dikdik
The Arabian Paper Company Sales Representative’s Bashful Countess
from the sea otter
Oy.
OY!!
The Highland Cad’s Willing Duchess
The Native Cowboy’s Anarcho-Syndicalist Automaton
The Mayan Cowboy’s Bluestockinged Love-Slave
Stop me please, I’m addicted! (That second one is DEFINTELY m/m. What’s with the cowboys? I’m a coastal girl.)
I’ve read many a Harlequin in my life and I have to agree with Dr. T – they are all low-grade. Cheap, easy reads that it doesn’t take much talent to write. Certainly not on par with Karen Marie Moning’s highly researched and imaginative romance novels like Kiss Of The Highlander. Really, once you’ve read quality romance novels like that, you’ll never go back to trashy Harlequins ever again.
Well, I dunno…. I’ve read plenty of quality romance novels. I could start a list, but we’d be here all night.
However, there are definitely plenty of quality, well-researched, highly imaginative romances—and some of them were even those ‘trashy’ Harlequins.
This comment strikes me as a matter of taste and while I won’t tell you can’t dislike Harlequins cuz that’s not fair, I can say this comment is going to come off as highly insulting.
Like them, dislike them, whatever, but people should be able to ready what they like without having others knock their choice of reading material.
Crud. I want an edit feature.
That SHOULD have been:
I think one of the Karen Templeton’s recent books would be good.
Signed,
The Assyrian Dragon Emperor’s Insatiable Duchess
When it comes to judging Harlequin Presents by cover & title alone, I’m guilty as charged, but then last year I happened upon a review for “The Prince’s Forbidden Virgin” by Robyn Donald and then proceeded to read the Royal House of Niroli series, and now I’m pretty much hooked on Presents. So I guess I can’t be too upset with him for his uninformed words…
I might have some reccomendations after I catch up on the pile of books that’s stacked up on my shelf.
Oh, and look at this mouthful: The Indian Dragon Emperor’s Sleep-Deprived Marquess
… I’d read it.