You did it! We figured this one out! It is a truth universally acknowledged (by me for certain) that the Bitchery pretty much knows everything, and really, it's true. Scroll down to see the solution for this HaBO - and many thanks!
Bitchery reader adb is impressed with your sleuthing abilities – and asks for your help identifying a book she read when she was 12:
It was a really, really weird book in that it had two distinct subplots. There
was the cute romantic comedy subplot, which I remember more clearly, and the
weeeird space-opera-y lasers ‘n’ spells subplot. I can’t remember which was the
“main” plot, or even if they shared airtime, but the spacey one had something
to do with finding the long-lost prince or princess or something of this
kingdom that was falling apart. The hero was the one who was involved in all
this, and the heroine was the one who didn’t know about it (though she
eventually found out).The story flipped between the hero and the heroine’s viewpoints. The first
time they met, they hated each other. (Of course.) Then the hero went back to
his house and realized that he’d fallen madly in love with her and was really
angry about it. Then they somehow met later at a fantasy/sci fi convention
(oooh, meta!) and wacky things happened, and somehow alien porn was involved.
The alien porn sticks in my mind for some reason. The hero’s ex-girlfriend
popped in, but she was nice and not meddlesome like most exes are, and she was
also involved in the long-lost-prince part of the plot. Then some Horrible
Magical Sickness befell the heroine, and the hero wigged out because he’d
realized that she was his True Luuurve, and some stuff happened that I forget
and she got better and they got married and raised ducks. In a pond in their
kitchen. The End. Oh, and they found the prince in the end, I’m pretty sure.The really neat thing that I remember is that the heroine was really
average-looking. She was fat and wore glasses, and she was a tough little cuss
in general. That’s all I remember, though.
Average looking with magical sickness and ducks? Not-your-typical-heroine? COOL. Anyone remember the book?
I’m interested to see what book this is, too. Sounds interesting.
Diana Wynne Jones is the author. I need to research the title.
The title is Deep Secret. Description is here: http://www.leemac.freeserve.co.uk/adults.htm#wild
I liked it too!
You had me at:
“…raised ducks. In a pond in their
kitchen.”
🙂
Aww yay, “Deep Secret” by Diana Wynne Jones! Such great characters, and her crazy frenetic storyline!
You guys just knock me out! I read these descriptions of books and think, “there’s no way anyone will recognize that book” and then, wham…someone does!
Mark me IMPRESSED!
I second the astonishment and scurry off to order this sucker.
MANALIVE!
years92 —I was in England gettin myself learned up in 92.
And if you like smart but plain heroines, DWJ also has Millie, Christopher Chant’s wife. We first meet her in Charmed Life, where she’s described as being frumpy and plain and motherly, and it’s revealed through a series of stories that she’s just as powerful as her husband, spent her childhood being worshipped as the living incarnation of some goddess, and has always been quite cool. They met as preteens when Chant first started to come into his powers. Aw!
Or Sophie from Howl’s Moving Castle, who is changed into an old frail woman for her inadvertent use of magic and goes off on an adventure that leads her to Howl and falling in love with him and he with her. And there’s her too clever sister Lettie.
DWJ does girl heroines right.
know what i think? i think y’all should start a sister blog, “Help a Bitch Out”. cuz, seriously, it’s like every day. and if you announced/linked it here, i’m sure TONS if not all of your readers would check it out. and then SBTB could get back to bitching. 🙂
Also astonished.
Jeeze, another one I actually knew, and too late as usual. One of my fave DWJs, it must be said. Although they’re nearly all my faves. 🙂
Bowing before all of you well-read bitches…I’m not worthy…
Well, the Bitchy blurb was more concise than the official one. The official blurb made me go, “WTF?”
Just for future reference, telling us WHEN you were twelve can be really helpful for these sorts of inquiries.
And if you’re in the US or Europe. It’s so funny—I remember I took this out from the Main Library popular library and I was working downtown the first time, so the US release must have been sometime between 1997-2002.