I nurse and bottle feed an infant all day, and all night. Fortunately for me, the US Postal Service has conspired with every mail-order vendor known to man, and it’s Catalog Time in my house. Catalogs, for the most part, are lightweight enough that I can prop one on my lap or on the Boppy pillow while I feed Baba O’Riley. Speaking of the Boppy, which Hubby and I love, can I just share with you for our mutual amusement the “other” breastfeeding pillow on the market that everyone talks about? I’m not even kidding about the name: The My Breast Friend®. Can you imagine if Ellora’s Cave started a line by that name? It’d go right next to a rock and a hard-on. (Curtsy to Jane for sharing that cover image and title.)
Anyway, since I’m catalog shopping, I thought I should share with you the more bizarre choices for holiday gifts, should you be thinking of starting early.
From Lillian Vernon (Motto: if it’s not moving at greater than 35 mph, we’ll tie it down and put your name on it- free!) for the bathroom-OCD person in your life: you can get this, but only if it comes with bright honking blue toilet tissue. Why do all the catalog pics involving TP feature TP that is monstrous blue? I don’t get it.
Should you find yourself needing a really tacky toilet seat cover, and you want to spend $40 US on such an item, good ol’ Lillian has your back… side. Spa like comfort and more than a hint of whimsy!? Yes. Leopard print toilet seats are what we need this holiday season. No question.
But by far, the gift that is SO great, I might just order in bulk: everyone on MY list is getting the silicone meat sling. Because really, why not? It goes with the metal anti-wanker for a perfect set!
The really disturbing part is that the silicone meat sling is sold out. Honestly, how many people must have purchased that to have it sell out?
They make a silicone Speedo?
Ah, yes. The Lillian Vernon catalogue. I love that they personalize everything. I’m convinced that if I sent in something from another vendor they’d personalize it for me.
I hope I have as good a selection of “reading material” at the end of December as you’ve got now!
OMG…I’m still trying to recover from “A Rock and a Hard On”. LMAO HAHAHA
Ok, I’m totally digging the seashells toilet seat. I would rock the h*ll out of that.
Wait, the My Breast Friend pillow has a quote from a woman named . . . Nancy B. Held? Is that a fake name or just an unfortunate one?
Wouldn’t any piece of meat roasted on the silicone meat sling be rather soft and mushy on the bottom?
And what would happen if you lifted up an unstuffed turkey (as I did last night, as it was Thanksgiving) and all the hot liquids from the inside of the bird ran out all over the place? Not terribly safe.
I was a HUGE fan of The My Breast Friend!
Apparently I was missing out for my three, only ever used a baby blanket. Does the band around the back of My Brest Friend get in the way when sitting in a chair.
Thanks Sarah for the gift idea! I’m sooo ordering the animal print seat for my sister, perfect fit for her decor.
I was afraid to click on the meat sling link. Once bitten….
The “My Breast Friend” was awesome!! The band is very thin, so it never got in the way. MBF was thicker than the Boppy and the particular positions my weird kids ate in, it worked better. I’m rather um, well endowed and breast feeding gets interesting when you are that big. TMI I’m sure. But the name did crack me up. I was so glad that when it was delivered the name wasn’t all over the box! LOL
Oooh, I wish they’d had those pillows when I was nursing mine!
Oh, I love online shopping – and based on where I live it’s the best way to go for my Christmas list. I had totally forgotten about Lillian Vernon. Not sure anyone I know would truly appreciate a leopard toilet seat but perhaps monogrammed? Certainly going to check the rest of that site out.
I’m shocked—SHOCKED—that you missed this little item from Lovely Lillian:
(In case my html didn’t work, the link is also here: http://www.lillianvernon.com/catalog/product_display.jsp?searchParam=LV&pdId=6592&addOn=786&sid=eas).
Methinks this is a “must have” item for y’all.
I lay awake at night dreaming that we’d need that meat sling….
I am adding my voice to the love of The My Breast Friend. Oh yes, the name is silly, but the support is fantastic for a nursing momma. My friend was a die hard Boppy girl but when she borrowed my MBF when visiting she too fell in love. Its fantastic, even for us small chested gals.
I also heart Lillian Vernon. The stuff they sell is just amazing. My favorite is when they don’t have an actual photograph of the item but show an artist’s drawing instead. Pure magic.
I’m in the same boat…I think it averages about 8-9 hours a day nursing my pokey little eater. Boppy rocks, though I have Tracy’s “problem” and have to settle in just so. I’d try the BF but we’ve already got an upstairs Boppy and a downstairs Boppy and one of those deliciously soft covers from Pottery Barn Kids.
My favorite catelogs to read are the Williams and Sonoma ones that come bi weekly from now till Christmas. It’s amusing to think of paying that much for a trash can, and I love the way they describe cheese like wine. The fact that I’m always hungry right now may have something to do with my obsession with the food oriented stuff, too.
And completely unrelated to this thread, two LOLpics (both safe for work, but containing no funny animals):
http://ballsandwalnuts.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/lol_potts3.jpg
http://mightygodking.com/images/lolbats/batsecks.jpg
Eek! I busted the comments! I wanted those just to be links!
Ack!
Sorry!
In re: Between a Rock and a Hard-On, do you really want to go into the romance-writing game with the last name Pape? Plenty of fonts make their P’s look kind of like R’s at first glance.
I’m just sayin’.
Your My Breast Friend reminded me for some reason of George Clooney. Since his accident, he and his girlfriend use a sex pillow: Liberator Sex Ramp. Here’s the story:
http://www.24dash.com/showbiz_slapdash/28402.htm
I rather like the toilet seat. The version with the black and white stones in it though. It would creep me out a bit to sit on encased dead sea animals to have a BM.
>>Why do all the catalog pics involving TP feature TP that is monstrous blue? I don’t get it.<<
My question is where do you buy colored toilet paper without paying $10 a roll for it at a specialty store? I had completely blocked out the fact that colored TP was once available at the grocery store until I was watching HGTV and they were talking about colored TP as if it was new.
Maybe it’s just because I’ve got a bit of teh evil in me…but my favorite was always the “Spending Christmas with Jesus” ornament. It weirds me out and makes me giggle at the same time. Unfortunately, there does not seem to be a “Spending Chanukah with Yashewa.”
My vfword? house66 – I’m just one 6 away, baby. Sorry Jeevus!
I also loved the “My Brest Friend” pillow. I used it for both of my greedy little piggies. I passed the pillow on to my sister when my first nephew was born, but she prefers the Boppy.
Coloured toilet paper?
When I was in junior high school one of our neighbours died. She was about 85 when she died, and apparently she had been hoarding for years. There was everything from children’s clothing that dated back to the 50s to brassieres (over 100 of them, all size 44 to 48 DD) to bags of flour to bottles of shampoo.
Her kids had an estate sale to try to get rid of it all. My parents ended up buying, among other things, ten cases of hot pink toilet paper at 50 cents a case. Each case contained sixteen four-roll packs.
The problem we had was that the cats thought hot pink toilet paper was much more interesting than plain white. You’d wake up in the morning and find the entire house festooned with hot pink toilet paper. Their mania became so bad that they learned how to open the linen closet to get at it.
To this day, when I see coloured toilet paper I think of a little wild-eyed grey kitten sitting in a pile of completely destroyed hot pink t.p. and going “Mrrrr?”
When I think of colored toilet paper I think of the guy that pumped our septic system telling my mom the colored stuff didn’t break down as well as white and white is better for the septic system.
My mom was bummed, she liked matching the t.p. to the bathroom LOL
Thanks for the kitty skin toilet seat. I need to take a sedative now. If I had that in my house I’m sure I’d find my dog trying to hump it.