Lady Rhian’s scanner is keeping track of how many eyeball searing images it has to scan in, and it’s going to rise up like the robots in Terminator and decide our fate in a nanosecond. That fate will likely involve a lot of mullets. But until then, we are in Lady R’s debt. Because damn.
Sarah: Who came up with this series title? The same people who advertise monster truck rallies on the radio?
“SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY with POWER POWER POWER. It’s Ecstasy Supreme GEEZER SEX! The old man scrumpin’ is so good, you won’t notice a shipwreck happening RIGHT BEHIND YOU!”
Candy: Unknown fact: Tempestuous Eden is actually the guy’s drag queen sobriquet. He’s moving his hand slowwwwly up her so he can rip off her panties…for himself.
Also, where’s the woman’s right arm? Given the angle of the shoulder, we should be able to see it. Is she a Thalidomide baby?
Sarah: You’d think this was a purple prose-laden novel about grapes and sex, but no. It’s actually a paranormal inspired by the Tooms episodes of the X-Files, only instead of stealing livers, Eugenia there steals boobs. See how she sucks the breasteses out of Mr. Tangled Mullet Wearing Cop Pants, and harvests his man titty for her very very own? Frightening beyond belief, I tell you. Gives me the shivers.
Candy: This educational maverick is sacrificing himself in order to demonstrate to us this age-old question: How do you teach a blind person anatomy?
Sarah: This might qualify for The Cover that Snarks Itself. What, pray tell, is Mightier than the Sword? Her perm? His very tight pants? Or my suspicion that he’s about to toss her chemically processed booty right into that fire?
Candy: What’s Mightier than the Sword? Her Aquanet, that’s what. Why do you think he seems so intent on fox-trotting her into the fireplace? He stands to inherit, and hairspray is VERY flammable.
Sarah: Little known trivia: The artist misheard the title during the art meeting. He thought it was “Wide are My Shoulders.”
Candy: Wild is their love. Savage is their wax job. Orange is their fake tan. Helmet-like is his hairstyle. Caked-on is her make-up.
That actually looks like Thor Heyerdahl’s raft, the Kon-Tiki. Or possibly the Ra, his papyrus boat. I’ve seen that sail style somewhere before, and I think it’s Polynesian.
Rob Liefield is a comic-book artist who is notorious for inability to draw bodies in proportion.
Isn’t “Ecstasy Supreme” a new Ben & Jerry’s flavor? Or is it a Sara Lee cheesecake? (Maybe that’s “Supremo”. I’m too chocolate-addled to remember.)
FYI: Muffy, the model in the wet-ink dress, is trying as surreptitiously as possible to put Hernando’s nipple back in place. She borrowed it when she had to appear as an alien temptress on an EC sci-fi cover.
It’s Clarence’s breath that’s mightier than his sword—which, truth be told, wouldn’t have bragging rights against a Venus Velvet #2. Since Ginger has WAY bigger aspirations than to be a mere covmod, she simply used her acting skills to advantage and made her vertiginous nausea look like a swoon of passion.
Lars on the last cover is thinking, Wild? You got the wrong effing Nordski. Just make sure this damned little Valkyrie doesn’t pull that record-breaking icicle out of my ass. It defines me.
Ok, who else thinks the Wild is My Love guy looks like Eddie Izzard????
BWAHAHAHAHA my word is “respect83”
The guy on “Midnight Promise” wouldn’t be that unattractive if it weren’t for the GIANT PONYTAIL someone glued to his head.
I can has bad weave?
That boat on Tempestuous Eden looks like an old moose antler stuck on top of an old wooden box that once held pears.
i totally saw jessi spano
that is awesome.
i guess showgirl wasn’t demeaning enough for her.