Bitchery reader MaryKate sent me this video from a beauty contest in the 80’s. Now, I’ll be honest: I went to a women’s college in the deep south, and in my Freshman dorm there were many titled beauty queens. If I recall correctly, there was a Miss Georgia Peach, Miss Peach Blossom, Miss Gritfest, and assorted county and state Miss, Jr. Miss, and Lady titles as well. And at the time, I’m embarrassed to say my own college had a beauty pageant, which I had to cover as editor of the school paper. Not even joking folks. The stories I could tell.
Anyway, not ONCE in the history of my college pageant was there a talent performance like this one, so painful, so hilarious, so utterly utterly odd, I’m sure it will inspire you writers of futuristic romance with all kinds of fabulous new heroines. Or make you dose yourself with Vicodin.
How’d you know? The beauty pageant? I surely did indeed.
… Someone should learn to play the instrument before deciding it’d be a cool effect to have it on stage.
This video makes “Little Miss Sunshine” look like a documentary, although Olive was much more talented than Miss Douglas.
Sarah: Because I went to Columbia College, too. I only went for a year, but I think you were the editor when I was a freshman.
Just showed this to my 9 year-old and he said, “Mom, I think she’s on drugs. That’s the only explanation.”
*laughs self into a hernia*