Darlene Marshall forwarded me this absolutely fabulous article from the NY Times, which won’t print the word “bitch” when referring to our website, but will print the word when referring to NY City Council legislation.
Seems NYC Councilwoman Darlene Mealy (who represents Brooklyn) has introduced a measure to outlaw the word “bitch” similar to an earlier “symbolic citywide ban of the so called n-word.” In case you’re not from the US and are unfamiliar with our exceptionally huge lexicon, the “n-word” would be “nigger.”
Ms. Mealy argues that the term is “hateful and deeply sexist” and says that “even council members are saying that they use it to their wives.” Citing a dictionary from 1811, Mealy’s measure calls the word bitch, “the most offensive appellation that can be given to an English woman.”
As Duchess of Cuntington, I can say with some authority that there are certainly worse words one could use to refer to women.
But the reactions quoted in the article are as agog as I am at reading this article:
“Half my conversation would be gone,†said Michael Musto, the Village Voice columnist, whom a reporter encountered on his bicycle on Sunday night on the corner of Seventh Avenue South and Christopher Street. Mr. Musto, widely known for his coverage of celebrity gossip, dismissed the idea as absurd.
Darris James, 31, an architect from Brooklyn who was outside the Duplex, a piano bar in the West Village, on Sunday night was similarly opposed. “Hell, if I can’t say bitch, I wouldn’t be able to call half my friends.â€
UC Berkeley’s Robin Lakoff says that she hates the word personally, but that measures like Mealy’s usually don’t work as they try to “enforce linguistic change through authority:”
“If what the City Council wants to do is increase civility, it would have to be able to contextualize it,†said Ms. Lakoff, who studies language and gender. “You forbid the uses that drive people apart, but encourage the ones that drive people together. Which is not easy.â€
Wait, you mean like starting a hot Pepto-Bismol pink website about romance and proclaiming yourselves Smart Bitches because you’re intelligent AND you like romance novels, but refuse to say nothing but pink fluffy nice things about it?
Word, Ms. Lakoff. I see your contextualization and raise you a community of civility based on Bitching.
Oddly enough, I’m working on an academic paper about coopting the word “Bitch” on this here site to redefine it towards a positive, unifying term. “Bitch” is one of the few words in English that refers uniquely to a female, and to call a man a “bitch” is both insulting and emasculating at the same time – hence it’s popularity as an affectionate and ironic moniker. And while “bitch” doesn’t have the deeply hurtful history of the word “nigger” among African-Americans, or the now-unifying properties of the word “queer” among homosexuals, reclaiming it as a way to self-reference intelligent communities of outspoken, opinionated women serves a similar purpose: reclaiming a pejorative term and adding an alternate definition. That process of reclaiming also, in my opinion, removes some of the word’s mystique or power.
(That said, I personally never, ever use the word “nigger.” That word still has plenty of power.)
Speaking specifically about women, there’s always a pressure to be nice and not disagree, be it direct or subtle. A woman who is a bitch doesn’t conform to that standard. Around here, that’s a good thing.
Would symbolically banning the word alter its power locally in the New York area? Probably not – the measure wouldn’t likely have an effect either way. But given the position from which I read this article, as a Smart Bitch, I think our method of redefining is a bit more effective than outlawing, though the alteration of definition, if it happens, takes longer, and, certainly in our case, is among a limited audience. That said, I’m pleased to be a Bitch.
Alison S, the phrase “namby-pamby mealy-mouthed spineless circumlocution” is possibly the finest use of the English language that I have read in quite a while. Bravo.
This woman should move to Dallas and take her rightful place on the City Council there. She would fit right in. I think the city charter here mandates “all councilors shall introduce no fewer than 12 (twelve) items of meaningless legislation per year”.
Okay, I just read an article where the government is quoted “as following protocol and doing nothing wrong.”
They deported an American citizen. He tried to get back into America several times. When he missed his court date on the same violation that got him deported they put a warrant out on him.
Our tax dollars at work.
my spam word: greater
Maybe these officials are working towards the greater good. Who knew?
Okay. I’m a 37 year old black chick and have always found the word nigger to be dreadful. My Jamaican parents found it to be vulgar in the extreme and when friends said it in front of me as a teenager—meant as a term of endearment of course—I was repulsed for reasons I couldn’t name then, but can now. So flash forward to Italy 3 years ago and being called that by someone (a foreigner, but not an Italian) thinking they were doing the cool/right thing based on what they gleaned from US pop culture. It felt absolutely wretched. But how could I explain that using this word was/is inappropriate when it is still a functioning bit of the lexicon?
Okay so now bitch. Love Smart Bitches, use the word bitch empoweringly. But would I be so pleased if some German or Spanish or African out of the blue came up to me as said, “hello, hello? Bitch! You bitch!”? Maybe it wouldn’t bother me. I don’t know. We (tried) explained the about the n-word to the guy in Italy and he was very apologetic. Also confused.
We (tried) explained the about the n-word to the guy in Italy and he was very apologetic. Also confused.
It is strange, trying to explain that it’s okay (sort of) for one group to use a word but completely inappropriate for another group to use the same word.
Reminds me a Daily Show segement about the use of the n-word where John Oliver (white) had to bring Larry Wilmore(black) to an interview, just so Larry Wilmore could say the n-word because John Oliver didn’t dare.
Melissa’s post:
“They deported an American citizen. He tried to get back into America several times. When he missed his court date on the same violation that got him deported they put a warrant out on him.”
I’d love to know how this guy got deported in the first place. I didn’t know they COULD deport citizens. I’d better watch my step.
Question is, would NY city government get up to something even dumber than the b-word ban if they didn’t have that to worry about?
And yes, Joe’s right – the Dallas city council is just as bad. That’s why I didn’t even considering buying a house in the city of Dallas.
The authorities are claiming he told them he is an illegal alien. Okay, when they ran his name in the system you’d think they see his place of birth.
This is how I explain these tricky words to my ESOL students: when you’re family, you can complain about eachother, tease eachother, and say bad things about eachother. It’s family and you know you love eachother. When a stranger starts saying the exact same things, though, you don’t like it, you stick up for your family because only you get to be the one to say that sort of stuff about your family. Same goes for the “n-word” and bitch and honky and cracker and etc. Oh yes, we hit them all in ESOL.
I would also say, because that linguit’s opinion rather annoyed me, that you can’t force context and acceptance thereof any more than you can force or legislate any kind of language change. If we could, more people would be speaking Esperanta.
Me, I’m happy to be a bitch in any language.
[…]I think our method of redefining is a bit more effective than outlawing, though the alteration of definition, if it happens, takes longer[…]
Education takes longer too, but I still prefer it to brute force and “because I said so”.
Interesting responses, I was going to pass on commenting,this issue was bothering me and I am chicken shit about voicing a lone opinion. But after cleaning out the cat box it came to me.
Bare with me please.
I love Smartbitches too and don’t have a problem viewing myself as one – truly. If you run into me at any one of these conferences you can call me a bitch – it’s cool.
And yes, this city councilwoman is wrong and wasting everybody’s time. I agree. That kind of legislation doesn’t work. But I think I can put myself in her place and understand where she’s coming from.
A few stories:
I was riding the city bus one day. Two men were behind me talking. One of them told the other that he was big on ‘beer and bitches’. I didn’t feel empowered, in fact I felt threatened and not at all intrigued.
One day I was walking my dog around the park where I live. I watched an exchange between a young girl, probably around 13 or 14, and her younger sister, maybe 9 or 10. The older girl, in front of her friends, her sister’s friends, in front of me, called her little sister a “fucking bitch.” Her sister looked crushed. I wish I had known where these girls lived. I would have loved to have given their parents a piece of my mind – of course they probably would have called me a bitch and there would have been a smackdown.
My point is that the word is still used to hurt and degrade in many places (like my neighborhood). It’s a word of empowerment where you live but not where I live maybe not where that councilwoman lives either.
“A woman is called a bitch as soon as she does anything to differentiate herself from a doormat.” Don’t know to whom it should be attributed, but it’s my standard response to name-calling.
Reacting badly to bitch just hands over power to the name-caller. Thpppp. I am a writer; I control words, they don’t control me.
How does she propose to enforce the ban? For a dose of reality, may I suggest she begin with rappers…
Many words have an appropriate & an inappropriate use. I remember attempting to explain to a jr wrestling coach my disgust at hearing 8 year old children referred to as “stud”. From a rural upbringing “stud” refers to breeding stock…a totally sick and wrong when applied to small children.
Have just realised I typed the sentence: ‘is she could to ban the c-word, too?’ above. I think those LOLcats are having an effect on me.
I can has grammer.
I’m never offended by being called one. Actually it’s part of how I describe myself, I have a greeting card “Are you a good bitch or a bad bitch?” with a picture of glenda from the wizard of oz on it!
On the doggess front:
My mother once called in a classified ad to the local newspaper. The conversation went something like this:
“Hi. I’d like to place a lost and found ad.”
“OK, go ahead.”
“Lost: between 4 pm and 10 pm Tuesday night in Central Village section of [our small town], one black bitch, four years….”
CLICK!
The operator hung up on her. She had to call back to explain herself.
It’s become something of a family joke: “Where are my keys?” “Did the black bitch take them with her when she went?”
Sounds totally dreadful to those who do not know the backstory.
My initial response is a total heart attack that someone would consider legislating words. This country already legislates too much of our personal actions: what we can eat, what we can drink, what we can smoke; many still try to legislate what we can read or write or photograph or sculpt. Now…now they try to legislate speech. I find this horrifying in the extreme. I wish I could be witty and clever about my reaction; but really I’m just speechless.
On another note: I’m 33 and don’t at all mind being called a bitch. I take it as a compliment. Even in high school I took it as a compliment; because it’s true-words only hurt when you let them. But most things in this world can be used for good or for ill. Does that require banning everything? How about spatulas? My mom used spank me with a spatula. That makes it a weapon. Should they be banned just because she decided to use it as one? How about cellphones? Smart, clever people (not like me) can make bombs out of cellphones. Should they be banned? How about the internet? Hackers make all sorts of bad, nasty, annoying viruses that cause all sorts of chaos. Should we outlaw the internet? Contextualize that.
-Randi