I got my most recent RWR in the mail the other day, and since my entire job as a giant pregnant lady is to relax, gain weight, and sit around waiting, I read it cover to cover. Usually I skim it, check out the contest winners, look at the articles and who wrote them, and read a piece here or there. But hey, I sit down now, and I don’t move voluntarily for at least an hour, so bring on the reading material.
And hello, page 4’s Letters to the Editor! I laughed out loud. Did anyone else notice this one?
Madeline Baker, she doesn’t like the cussing:
I continue to be shocked by the language in some romance novels I’m reading. It’s unfortunate that more and more authors feel the need to use the “F word” in their books, but even worse, the word “Motherf…” has cropped up in two of my recent reads. It’s bad enough when language like this is uttered by the villain, but when it comes out of the mouth of the heroine… well, I’m just plain stunned. Surely it’s possible to write a gutsy heroine without having her talk like a gang member.
Here are a few choices of response that pop to mind:
1. Bitch, please.
2. Racist and classist undertones aside, I’m as offended by books titled Cheyenne Surrender as you are by the word “fuck.”
3. Fuck that!
4. Gang members? Only gang members say “fuck?” Seriously?
Perhaps the problem is the reading material she’s choosing, which she addresses in her letter:
Lately I’ve read several books that have ‘paranormal romance’ on the spine. In my opinion, a good number of them haven’t been romances at all, and that includes the one I threw across the room just last night….
Demons and vampires and werewolves, especially the ones that want to kill you, will totally stop if you speak nicely and say, “Please.”
I doubt if it will ever happen, but I’d like to see some kind of rating on books so that I’ll know what I’m getting before it’s too late.
Now that there, THAT is an IDEA. Why did we think of that?! We here at the Smart Bitch HQ, we got us some Photoshop. There need to be warnings on books!
Our advisories, let us show you them:
You can Has more!
HEA = Happily Ever After
Nothing dates quicker than slang, linguistic moral standards and Advisory Warnings. But you’ve got another vote here for the “part of a series” sticker. As long as it is a lame series that is…
I don’t mind seeing those words in books, just like I don’t wince upon hearing them in real life. But I don’t like characters (or actual people, for that matter) who use those words too much. An over-reliance on cussing makes me think that the character has a limited vocabulary. Those words are more effective when used sparingly.
Slash = man on man romance containing secks (same as sex).
Buttsecks (what slashers do in their romances) same as butt sex.
Both slash in romance novels and the word “buttsecks” has spilled over into romance novels via online fandom
(iz my observation)
I just read some of the Harlequin Blaze books. And not only was FUCK in the heroine’s mouth, but so was cock. I put the book down because it sucked. Not because people swore. The swearing was probably the only part worth reading the book was so bad. I’m not overly I’m pressed by swearing, but Stephen King was using the F word long before the romance writers who should have been using it right along got a hold of it.
Kensington’s Aphrodisia books actually come with a warning. They say:
WARNING!
This is a REALLY HOT book. (Sexually Explicit)
I’m sure the warning (which is printed onto the back of every book) increases sales. And the warning is correct. The books are hot. But with titles like PURE SEX and BIG SPANKABLE ASSES, one might have figured that out. Maddy Baker, beware!
Yeah. Sigh. I got some of that too – “gasp! there is bad language! and violence! in a romance novel!” Well, yeah, a romance novel with Atlanteans and vampires and shapeshifters fighting for control of the world. As my editor said, “what are they going to do, thumb wrestle?”
Neasa: thanks for clarifying. 🙂 I never realized that it was actually a milder oath (I’m not a native English speaker and er, simply assumed. My bad!). No wonder he was so bewildered, but at least it stopped him from waking me up with loud early morning phone calls beneath my bedroom window…possibly because there was a crazy-haired madwoman shouting in abusive language down at him early in the morning…
Re Kensington’s Aphrodisia line: holy shit.
I just read Nicholas the Satyr or Lords of Satyr: Nicholas or something so entitled and by the third page here come the men with the double penises that are sooo convenient for that moment when you feel the need to be ass fucked whilst the other gleaming orifice (or is one’s asshole The Gleaming Orifice?) is otherwise occupied and feel squimish about having multiple partners.
Perhaps an advisory that says, “warning anatomically impossible fellow in this one” would be appropriate.
The main library in my hometown has a small poster explaining the various levels of ‘hotness’ found in Harlequin/Silhouette books (i.e., H. Presents is a PG-13, and S. Desire is an R). I don’t think it’s for censorship, though—I think it’s just like A Quick Guide to this Bewildering Array of Series Romance Novels. I’m OK with that, but . . . warnings? Seriously. Are we actively trying to keep people from having to think? That isn’t going to help things, people.
But I really want more Smart Bitch Advisories. Especially TSTL, Part of a Series, and So Bad You’ll Want Your Money Back. 😀
Oh! You should read the warnings in Samhain’s books, they are sooooo funny! I do not know who writes them, but hope he/she keeps his/her job!
It is really not that difficult to make a fairly accurate “guestimate” about what kind of language and so forth you are going to find in a book if you do a little research before you buy. The Inspirational romances are usually pretty easy to pick out. One author who writes contemporaries with pretty good sex and little cursing is Catherine Anderson. There rarely any surprises with her so if you can stomach Oregoners who talk like Texans and saccharine sweet heroines who are always either physically or emotionally challenged she is a good one. Somehow I think Ms. Baker would be okay with that. And there are lots of authors like that if one looks around to find them. Historicals usually don’t have much cursing unless the are erotica or “romantica” and those are usually labeled as such. I just don’t see the problem.
If Ms Baker is an antivulgarian, she might want to rethink the banner saying “Bite me”:
I hope Madeline Baker never read LV’s Passion. She probably would have fainted dead away.
She wants censorship? For real? If that happens, it won’t be long before romance novels are like video games. People under 18 won’t be able to buy a book that’s sexually explicit b/c they could turn into a slut.
Pul-lease.
Man, I still tell people that I “cuss like a sailor.” I guess I’m way, WAY outdated.
Especially given the sailors on the Johanna Lindsey book covers. I’m thinking they don’t cuss at ALL.
In any case, real people cuss. Real women cuss. I rather like seeing that reflected in what I read. For me, Sam Starrett is pretty much an authentic representation of most guys I know (if a lot hotter), and that’s the kind of stuff that appeals to me.
Ratings and warnings would be ridiculous. Just like the trend in fan fiction now to “warn” for everything in the header…geesh, if you’re going to tell me there’s rimming, noncon, and something involving a goat, a hairbrush covered in hedgehogs, and a tub of butter before the jump, why should I even click on the link?
When it comes to romance, if you’re not warning for the sex-on-a-horse, the racism, the marital rape, and the general “Warning: This is a Cassie Edwards book, see above,” why bother?
Read the back, read the cover blurb, flip through, and find out for yourself. Why must everything be spelled out?
Everything comes down to the story. Is it appropriate to the characters and the plot? Does it give the book the right tone? In a book about a cop or a firefighter or a soldier, there’s gonna be cussing! Otherwise it’s not a real cop or firefighter or soldier, whether male or female.
omg, can you please make one that says Liberal Author?
One warning I’d really like to see is “This story actually ends 100 pages before the end of this book, after that it’s recipes (Feehan’s Dark Celebration) or a Christmas story (one of Sherrilyn Kenyon’s Dark Hunter books)”. If I wanted to pay for 50 pages of recipes from Christine Feehan’s fans I’d buy a damned cookbook!
At your request, a few more have been added – enjoy!
And feel free to borrow and use on your sites. Please to be right-clicking and not hogging of our bandwidth, though. Save and spread the joy among your sites at will.
“This story actually ends 100 pages before the end of this book, after that it’s recipes (Feehan’s Dark Celebration) or a Christmas story (one of Sherrilyn Kenyon’s Dark Hunter books)â€
or fan mail (Dara Joy)
Oh. I didn’t click on the link until I after I left my comment. Let me see if I have this straight now. She is an author who writes contemporary paranormals…and she doesn’t like cussing. Hmmm. Maybe this is a marketing strategy because I am a bit tempted to buy one of her books just to see how (or if) in the holy motherfucking shit damn she is going to pull that off .
Love the last one, great idea TeddyPig. I’ll just sit here evil laughing and making my cats worried for a while.
I love them, I want them, I LOVE THEM ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!
You sure know how to make me laugh!
*tries not to reasure her neighbours that she is in fact crazy enough to laugh alone*
Sarah, thanks for providing the gheysecks page numbers. Checking page 2 right now….
Perhaps what the would-be labelers need is an outlet for their disgust. Each store and library could create a label-ghetto. I’m picturing a dedicated table full of books with fill-in-the-blank advisory stickers:
May Contain Offensive Material On Pages
___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___
to be filled in by whoever is so inclined. That would give the labelers something to do, and keep them out of my hair while I check pages 14, 52, and 89.
QUESTION ABOUT SERIES:
I know this isn’t the topic, but I gotta ask…how do you feel about a series where the story ENDS but there is an overall storyarc that you get in pieces?
For instance, Julie Kenner’s DEMON HUNTING SOCCER MOM series. Each story has a beginning, middle and end. The main conflict of that story is resolved…but there is an overall storyline where they just got a few more pieces of the puzzle. Like Harry Potter, I guess. And Stephanie Bond’s Body Movers. I love this kind of series.
What I don’t like is the same as everyone else…where the story just STOPS. That happened to me once with a paranormal romance (I knew it was part of a series, but I certainly didn’t expect it to just STOP without the villain of the book ever being confronted by the hero or heroine) and I was shocked. Is this the way most people do it in paranormal romance?
I have a reason for asking of course. I’m doing a paranormal series. Each story definitely ends—the conflict in the story is resolved. But there is an overall story question that won’t—theoretically—be answered until the final book. However, since I am an author who had another series stopped before I could finish it, I’m very aware of both wanting and needing closure with each book I have.
Opinions?
Hey, can we get warning stickers for mind control? It’s only an issue for paranormals, really, but I really wish the books I’d encountered it in had warned me.
Julie –
I enjoy the kind of series you described. I don’t mind if the paranormal or suspense part of the storyline continues or ends with cliffhanger as long as I feel like the relationship between the hero and herione has been resolved in a satisfying way.
Nora Roberts is especially good with that. Her Key, Garden, and Circle trilogies are all great examples of books where I felt the individual romances were solid and the stories were, in many ways, complete but I was also excited about the theme and ready for the next book to come out.
LMAO! May I take one of these for my blog? Will cred.
Julie,
That is just the kind of series that I do appreciate. Each book is a separate entity, a story unto itself, but there’s an idea or story arc that runs through all of them. Sort of like a TV show without all the cruel cliffhangers.
And, I totally agree with karibelle. La Nora (all bow to the Queen) does it extremely well in her trilogies. You’re dying to find out what happens next, but you haven’t been shafted out of your HEA, either.
okay, I don’t agree with her, but she has every right to her opinion. I think trashing her because she had the guts to spout her opinion isn’t really fair. I don’t know her and it’s not my place to judge her, even if she judges me for the fact that FUCK is my favorite word (and very empowering as well) and that I am writing a vampire YA for Harper Collins(actually titled Bite Me! which I find extremely ironic) and that my little 17 yo vampire heroine is a bit foul-mouthed. That’s her problem. But she has the right to have that problem. I just happen to disa-motherfuckin-gree with her opinion.
Julie,
Those are the only types of series that I can actually handle: all books are part of an arc, but each can be read as a stand alone as well. I can’t stand cliffhangers. I read a lot of paranormals and I prefer them this way, additionally, each book contributes a bit to the world creation, without making the story a burdensome/convoluted/over detailed read.
M.
I don’t agree with her, but she has every right to her opinion.
I have no problem with her reading choices, nor with her stating her opinion. I do have a problem with the proposal to label books others read:
If a reader has specific criteria, it’s up to her to skim the book and see if they’re met.
Oh my god, I’ve never laughed so hard in my life with these covers!
Please, bring on the “fucks”; “motherfuckers”; and all other such cussing.
“It’s bad enough when language like this is uttered by the villain, but when it comes out of the mouth of the heroine… well, I’m just plain stunned. Surely it’s possible to write a gutsy heroine without having her talk like a gang member.”
Why is it okay for a villain (notice she made it gender specific and therefore male) to cuss but not a female? What sort of archaic notion is she holding here? A woman can’t curse and still be feminine?
And boo on her for the racist attitude. Madeline, racism is not cool.
Yeah but it seems to be kind of like movies. Trilogies can tell an epic story that simply doesn’t fit into one movie. When you start getting into Freddie #5 or Jaws #4? Not so great.
And btw? I SO want to read the book the last advisory belongs to. 😉
iffygenia,
I agree 100% that it’s up to the reader to determine what his/her tolerance level is and to buy accordingly. I am very opposed to censorship of any kind. Even on CDs for explicit lyrics. That’s the parents’ job, not the record label. And it’s kinda insulting too, because frankly, where as I’m not in the least offended by motherfucking curse words, I am hugely offended by bigotry and religious zealots. And that’s the moral code I live by—so there would be no way to decide which standards to should be used as “the standards” for warnings/censoring the books.
It’s a ludicrous idea…just as those awful “graphical standards” and the “definition of romance” ideas were.
Julie,
I only like series if the main protagonist is different in each book. I read Romance Novels for the girl-gets-boy HEA ending and feel cheated if I have to buy more than one book to get there.
I don’t buy that warning labels=censorship. I don’t care if a professor taught that in a class somewhere.
Can warning labels be used TO censor things by trying to weed out books, records, movies with certain warnings? Yes. But my hairbrush can be used to beat my daughter. That doesn’t make my hairbrush abusive.
I’m avoiding leaving for carpool because, frankly, I hate carpool, so I’m just gonna keep on discussing.
ladypeyton,
I see your point but (I love the buts, don’t you?) I think the reason warning labels do = censorship for me is because the label judges a work by one person’s or one committee’s collective opinion. What is offensive to one person isn’t to another and the artist is who suffers.
Let’s use the movies as an example. Are you going to Rate a book R because they describe full frontal nudity or would you rate that X? If the book only bares the breasts and doesn’t describe the male then is that an R rating? And then we get into the language part. I believe a movie must be R rated if it says Fuck more than x number of times and if it ever uses the word Fuck as a verb. (I swear I read this somewhere, could be making it up, it happens) Well, isn’t that unfair to YA authors who use the F-word in their books? YA books are now R rated? That’s censorship because what parent (besides me) would “allow” their 14 year old daughter read an R rated book?
I don’t buy that warning labels=censorship. I don’t care if a professor taught that in a class somewhere.
Totally disagree there, labels of all sorts provide wonderful ways of dismissing books and not judging content for yourself.
You basically ask others to judge the content of a book for you. We all know how well that works.
I dislike the idea that we as a society have this unquestioned responsibility to provide diligent labeling of stories and movies for content because it might hurt kids or some old bitch’s sensibilities.
Why not ask parents to be more active and involved in what their children are doing? Ask the old bitch to take more time in choosing what the hell she is reading?
Put the responsibility back on their lazy fat asses where it belongs.
If you are reading Playboy do not whine at me about the fucking centerfold!
Mel,
We’re talking apples and oranges. You describe a ratings system and I’m talking about warning labels. They’re two different animals.
A label for potentially offensive language is NOT going to deter someone who doesn’t care if offensive language is used. A label for slash, OTOH, will save me $8 since I don’t care to EVER read man-on-man secks. It makes me uncomfortable. I don’t deny its right to exist. I don’t look down on other people who read it and love it. I’m a staunch defender of gay rights and believe in gay marriage but I don’t wanna read explicite descriptions of buttsecks. I’d seriously appreciate THAT warning.
I think book labels should be as informative as possible and warning labels (which haven’t done a thing to harm sales of music with explicite lyrics since the Tipper Gore days) would merely be a part of that process.
I’ll bet Ms. Baker doesn’t read “Smart Bitches”. She would have a heart attack over this one!