I had to share my big amusement, because I read this yesterday and I am STILL laughing about it:
Steven Colbert’s book promotional materials are out, in anticipation of his book’s arrival around the holidays. His book focuses on the reballification of America:
Why write this book now? Colbert fears America has lost its balls. He wants to reballify the nation. Even the ladies. Ladies can have balls — lady-balls. They’re called “Thatchers.” Colbert will show you how he got his mammoth swinging sack.
OMG. “Thatchers.” My stomach hurts from laughing so hard.
Hmm. While it is an interesting notion, somehow, I just don’t see legions of ladies on America’s Funniest Home Videos getting hit in the crotch with a wiffle bat and saying, “Ow! My thatchers!”
Do these pants make my thatchers look big?
Stephen Colbert is God…Just in case you didn’t know.
Did anyone see when he interviewed Jane Fonda? He was so flustered, I want to marry him. Right after I bear Jon Stewarts love child.
KTG
Perhaps he’s taken a page from Alanis Morissette?
Hey, don’t forget all the terms you’ve introduced, Bitches.
I’m still reeling from the male version of cameltoe – camel nose??!1!
As a mom of three sons, you can only imagine all the fart/butt/balls jokes I’ve had to endure. Out of my own defense, I adopted an “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” attitude, only to be shot down because I don’t have balls.
“But I do,” I told them. “And their jewel encrusted.”
Because I figure if I’m going to have balls, they’re going to be pretty. Sort of gives a new twist on the “family jewels.” ;o)
Colbert would do well to promote Thatchers with bling.
the best lunch ever would be a me/colbert/stewart sandwich.
Yummy.
Sign me up for a swingin’ pair of jewel-encrusted Thatchers, please. Actually, I’d like several, so I can color-coordinate for any occasion.
This reminds me of when I was married to a Navy man and lived in San Diego in the late 90s. According to base rules, exposing the scrotum was not considered to be indecent. You’d often see men walking around with their dick tucked away, but their scrot hanging out of their zipper.
I was always so tempted to walk up and just thump ‘em in the nutsack as hard as I could. Dude, you’re leaving that hanging out? It *deserves* to get hit!
What you ladies call “camel nose” my friends and I have always referred to as “testicle cleavage.”
If you make the string long enough they double as clackers.
You’d often see men walking around with their dick tucked away, but their scrot hanging out of their zipper.
Please tell me you’re joking? Please? I think I’m ruined for life.
I’ve always liked “moose knuckle.”
Alas, Kalen, I’m not joking. It was good for a shocked double-take the first three or four sightings, but soon it became boring. “Oh, look, another nutsack. Looks like he needs treatment for that rash.” “I think his balls are hanging out… hard to tell, though. Hey, dude, it’s not THAT cold, what’s your excuse?” And so on.
I threatened to cut the balls off a realistic dildo and fasten ‘em to my zipper when I walked around the base, but allowed my then-husband to talk me out of it. Now I wish I’d done it. Picture a young woman, hugely pregnant, strolling around with an enormous nutsack swingin’ with every step… it would’ve been freakin awesome.
If they did that now, they’d all be black and blue. Now, if you flash your balls and get someone to look, you get to hit them. You get to hit them more if you did some kind impressive ball-arranging (balligami?).
Lol, Amy E that is hillarious… but that is the navy for you (sorry army bratt, navy jokes are ingrained into my dna). “Picture a young woman, hugely pregnant, strolling around with an enormous nutsack swingin’ with every step… it would’ve been freakin awesome.” There are no words… that is so funny.
Second to Amy’s balls.
My Thatchers are bigger than your Thatchers.
However, to truly have the requisite pissing contest to prove we’ve been reballified, we chicks might need to invest in the Magic Cone.
I don’t think I have the thatchers to click on that link bitchipants. Somebody else do it!