Thanks to P.C. Cast and Lucinda Betts for both sending me a link to this bit of visual hilarity.
Behold, a clip from The Big Idea featuring ab-tastic cover model Anthony Catanzaro, who appears on the cover of Sexy Beast III. According to Catanzaro, it’s getting great reviews because of the abs. The book comes out… drumroll please… in August 2007.
Yes. Because all I look at in a pre-release is the abdominal action on the cover.
No offense meant to Kate Douglas, Lacy Danes and Morgan Hawke, of course.
The rest of the segment is ample evidence not to judge anything by its cover, notably the cerebral depth of a cover model.
HAHAHAHA! I have to admit, I have never, ever bought a book because of the model’s abs.
Now, maybe if they had some good looking guy with a 10” dick posing….
I saw that late at night and cringed.
I’ve never bought a book because of the cover. It didn’t stop me from standing there a long time looking at it though.
“If it comes from God, you have to eat it.”
Check please!
I do not appreciate the comments made about my husband. Kindly remove this video.
It could be stress or lack of sleep from finals, but that was about the funniest thing I’ve seen in days.
Getting great reviews because of the abs…BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Ah, so good.
This runs a little contrary to what we have previously discussed about geeks and our love for the really big brain.
Personally, those abs don’t do it for me.
How effing typical,…
… once again, some Bimbo-Guy is taking credit for the successes of a Thinking-Woman’s acomplishments. Sheesh.
[Nice bod, though—but he shouldn’t be encouraged to talk. Seriously.]
Dear sweet Jeeeezus. If it comes from God we have to eat it? This is stupid on so many levels I can’t even…oh, never mind.
If it comes from God we have to eat it…
So that what he tells his boy toy friends.
See, I always used to say just suck it. You’ve had worse things in your mouth!
I actually think his innocence is pretty cute. Endearing even. I’d have him for dinner—I mean, over for dinner. As in a dinner party. Not FOR dinner. (And I’d serve chicken!)
That’s him and his wife on the cover of my March release, MOON SHADOW. She’s a knock out too.
Come to think of it, I’d have her over for dinner to. I mean, to the party.
Sigh. If only he’d pimped A TASTE OF HONEY – that book is actually on the shelves, and the cover is ABTASTIC, if I do say so myself. 🙂
TASTE OF HONEY is nice enough, Jami, but his missing belly button disturbs me.
Creepoid Deutsch is paid to speak on TV. He has no redeeming body parts to hock, and yet he comes across as pointless as anything the rather earnest gym monkey has to say.
Oops, A Taste of Test Tube Baby!
We have the technology!
We can rebuild him!
ugh. tony, shut up and button your shirt.
this guy was on the oxygen reality show ‘mr romance’. he was an annoying ass then and nothing much has changed. don’t let the abs fool you, he’s a big cry baby—at least, during the show.
Hi Lucinda and Jami, thank you for appreciating my husband. Jami, we didnt know your book was out yet. My husband is NOT an annoying ass and a cry baby as someone so put it! I dont need to explain myself anyway…
Na, na, na, na, na… (fingers in ears, eyes closed tight) I can’t see you, I’m not listening! I choose to cling to my fantasy that the men who pose on those covers are arrogant bastards with razor-sharp intellects to go with their abs of steel and hearts of gold.
My friend Chris took this screencap last night when I gave him the link to the video:
HA HA HA HA HA.
After a few evenings of contemplating my very poochy tummy while surfing channels on the couch, I *just* finished doing 15 min with my Swiffer broom stick, just like the Abs Guy did in this video …
AND OH MY GAWD MY SWEET ACHING POOCHY TUMMY MUSCLES.
Dude’s got abs. We can mock, but he’s got the bod on the covers so he’s doing something right! And I now have a new (and easy) exercise routine that can be easily done while watching prime time TV …
— Bonz
I did the same the other night…whoa!
What a great exercise, I can actually feel the burn. Tony is a dream and I cant wait to see more of him~
Man, I tried that hold-the-stomach thing in while I write, and I can’t do it. I can’t write and hold at the same time! Its like chewing gum and doing cartwheels!
I need an easier job than writing romances!
SWAK,
Lucinda
keep on doing it, it really works.lol
Definitely a little light in the brain department…
As for me, I have never picked up a book based on the abs of the model. Sure I look, and I definitely judge books by their covers, but OMG what a dumb thing to say.
“Yes, I’d like to come out and say it. I buy those books, you know the hot cover ones, just for the man titties, and that leetle patch of loincloth. Cuz you know, why open those things up if I can just drool on the cover?”
Duh???
I just found this link and have to admit I’m a little surprised by the willingness of folks to trash someone they don’t even know. Tony’s wife wrote to me when she found out he was on the cover of two of my books, Sexy Beast II and Sexy Beast III, coming out later this summer. She sounds like a terrific lady. Tony graciously offered to sign cover flats for me to give out to my readers and I have received some absolutely terrific letters from HIS fans who are buying SBII. This is not an easy business we’re in, and since I’m a firm believer in good news and positive thinking, I guess I just wanted to pop in and say that, as far as I’m concerned, Tony Catanzaro is a heck of a nice guy who’s working hard to be successful in a business that’s every bit as competitive and tough as mine. I appreciate the fact he mentioned the book on television, and I appreciate even more the fact that his sexy body is all over the front of Sexy Beast II, and III, and hopefully IV.
Good looking or not (and I don’t find him particularly attractive myself, but to each her own), and nice guy or not, I think it’s pretty much objective fact that the dude sounds more than a little like Ralph Wiggum. Maybe the interview was unfair. But c’mon: if it comes from God, you gotta eat it? And the book’s getting great reviews because of his abs? Bwaaaaaaaah!
Man, I tried that hold-the-stomach thing in while I write, and I can’t do it. I can’t write and hold at the same time! Its like chewing gum and doing cartwheels!
It’s all in the posture. You basically can’t lean back on your chair; your back needs to be ramrod straight. And personally, I find it easier to achieve if I’m sitting cross-legged, but then that’s because I’m so short, most chairs are just a touch too tall for me, which means I tend to tuck my legs under me anyway. I actually find that this tucked-in posture is most comfortable for me when typing. Not that my abs are anything to shout about—or even existent in any meaningful sense, hee.
First of all, I will own up. I have bought a book based solely on its cover. Angela Knight’s Jane’s Warlord. Oh. My. God. That arm/shoulder/back? SO SEXY! The book lived up to its sexy cover, too. Loved it. So slap a sexy bod on my books, baby, at least SOMEONE will buy it for its cover… ahem.
Moving along.
Okay, I am 99.9% sure the “great reviews because of my abs” thing was a JOKE. Lighten up! That was so not serious reporting, let’s cut the guy a break. And for fluff pieces like that, a lot of times the interviewer will tell people to try and ham it up a little. It’s bad advice that usually makes the guest look stupid and I’d bet that’s what happened here to some extent. So I must wonder, why the venom? The Bitchery isn’t usually so, well, um, damn I can’t think of another word, bitchy.
I must also say that I appreciate his point about the carbs. What’s getting lost in the “if it comes from God, you’ve gotta eat it” comment is that he’s repeating some very good advice—cutting out any major food group entirely is Teh Badness. It makes your body sad, sad, sad. So yeah, I can forgive a silly comment because he talked about one of my pet-peeves after taking care of several patients who put themselves into kidney failure on extreme high-protein no-carb diets. Is it really a stupider thing to say than the clue-cake?
Oh, wait, we mocked clue-cake heartily, as was right and proper and Bitchlike.
And now I’m going to go dance with my broom because I’ve got to be in a wedding in August and sweet Jesus, I don’t want people asking me when the (nonexistant) baby’s due.
Hey, I’m not arguing that he seems like a perfectly nice dude. I’m just pointing out that based on the interview, he doesn’t seem like the brightest bulb in the box. Lookit, his point about carbs was a good one but it was lost because it was made in an astoundingly silly manner—and as you’ve pointed out, we’ve savaged many, many people for making comments much less jaw-droppingly stupid than that.
I’m not arguing that we’re being bitchy. I just don’t see this as being especially different from our usual M.O. Though the stakes were smaller in this instance than usual, which points us to the following cardinal rule: don’t mock the feeble.
(Now, see THAT was being mean. And I’ll cop to that. Own my faults, etc.)
Yes, true—people missed the carb point because they were distracted by the compulsory eating of God-veggies. I can see that and concede the point. And knowing his wife has been reading the comments might’ve colored my impressions of the overall bitchiness-factor of the comments. I must now find the clue-cake post and compare bitchiness. This seems like something guaranteed to keep me up even LATER, and I already have only 2 hours left to sleep before I have to be up and going again. Insomnia, how I hate thee.
In other news, I almost broke a lamp doing the broom dance. Small house + swinging cleaning implements = danger, Will Robinson!
Ha. Insomnia sucks. I’m up because I have a bunch of shit to catch up on.
Also, I tried the broomstick exercise, and despite cranking along at a merry pace for over 15 minutes, I didn’t feel much of anything. After talking this over with a friend of mine who knows more about both physics and working out than I do, I think need a longer pole.
Huh huh huh huh huh.
This simply proves there is someone out there for for each and every one of us.
I still say you have had worse things in your mouth.
In this case I would use a gag.
A pole so long that it threatens to knock over lamps with every swing, perhaps, Candy?
huh huh huh huh huh
Why did this image http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php/Image:Deliciouscockyoumusteatit.jpg instantly make me think of this video?
Hmm. Clearly I don’t know how to do links. Second attempt at linkage
Erm, I thought he said it was getting great views because of the abs. Like, it’s getting a lot of attention on Amazon and stuff? I dunno. I haven’t had enough coffee yet and that presenter guy was shouting at me, so I pretty muh switched off after that…
Okay…I just checked my email this morning and have three more notes from Tony Catanzaro’s fan club ladies who have bought Sexy Beast II and CAN’T WAIT for Sexy Beast III. I’m an author. I have no shame when it comes to hawking my books, and dammit, I love the fact this good-looking guy is helping me sell. Say what you will, it’s great promo and I love it.
Kate, off in search of a longer pole…
Love you Kate!!!
Sexy Beast IV is on the way……. 🙂
Tina Catanzaro
This is Tony Catanzaro!
To you “ladies” and I use the term loosely, who have nothing better to do than to trash people they dont even know, probably all look like fat disgusting hairy looking men! You are desperate and pathetic bitches that NEVER get laid and need to hide behind their computer to trash others because they cannot hack it in the real world!
People that have nothing better to do with their lives than to live on the computer and talk shit about people who actually have a life are the biggest, pathetic, degenerate losers on the face of this earth!
Its a real shame when people are so miserable in their own lives, that they have no heart nor compassion for others. Beauty begins on the inside, and you bitches dont know the first thing about what life is all about!
I would love nothing more than to throw you bitches in the trunk of my caddy and dump you in the weeds somewhere off the Belt Pkwy! But instead, I will pray for you.
When you wake up in the morning and look in the mirror, you see a pile of shit which is yourself!
I can already smell your skin burning from the hell that awaits you!
What the… what?!?! Dude! I was defending you! I gave you the benefit of the doubt! Then you pull this shit? Wow. I really don’t know what to say, other than… was it the “Delicious cock, you must eat it” link that set you off? Because honestly, that was photoshopped. I promise that no cocks were really harmed in the making of that picture. For realz.
“Beauty begins on the inside…” “probably all look like fat disgusting hairy looking men!” Tony, I got whiplash from reading that.
I’m afraid I have no choice but to de-friend you on MySpace. I’ve never had to de-friend anyone! But I just can’t make myself have linkage to people who spout violent death-threats (“I’ll pray for you instead” does not undo that, btw). Buh-bye.
Amy in my husbands defense he did NOT direct this message to you or anyone else that didnt trash him. It was directed to the few who have on these messages. He is a good man and he was very upset when he read this blog.
To the women that did not talk crap about him….this was not geared toward you. When people make fun and insult other people, especially people that they dont know, that hurts… Im sure no one else would like it.
When people make fun and insult other people, especially people that they dont know, that hurts…
So imagine how people must feel when someone says “I would love nothing more than to throw [you] in the trunk of my caddy and dump you in the weeds somewhere off the Belt Pkwy!”
Assuming you and “Tony” above are who you say you are, you are married to a foul, hateful, cowardly piece of trash. There is no defending what he said.
As Amy says above, threatening to kill someone and then following up with “I will pray for you instead” doesn’t really pass the smell test. KTHXBYE.