Kiku mentioned the in the comments to the “Love in All Genres” entry that Seventh Sanctum had made a brain-hurting fanfic pair generator.
Boy howdy, have they. With one click of a button, generate a fanfic pair sure to make you cry—either with laughter, or sweet, sweet trauma.
So far, the ones I’ve generated that have made me laugh hardest are:
Lili von Shtupp (Blazing Saddles)/Morpheus (Sandman)
Papa Smurf/Hagbard Celine (Illuminatus Trillogy)
Flash (Justice League)/Dee-ari (The Dark Crystal)
Mr. Wickham (Pride and Prejudice)/General Woundwart (Watership Down)
Cookie Monster/Walter C. Ddollneaz (Hellsing)
Frosty the Snowman/Queen Christine of Sweden
Ones that would ALMOST work: Sue Storm (Fantastic Four)/Westley (The Princess Bride) and Edmond Dantes (The Count of Monte Cristo)/Lee “Apollo” Adama (Battlestar Galactica 2005).
That last one HAS to have been written already. HAS to be.
My friend Katie of Nebula Haiku fame, however, generated possibly the most terrifying pairing of ALL TIME: Mr. Bean/Aramis (The Three Musketeers).
And also, the awesomest: Cthulhu/Jesus.
Have fun with the new toy.
Cthulhu/Jesus
Oh sweet fucking hell, are you trying to kill me? I already live in a world in which one of my favorite sig lines is: Your god is a god of forgiveness, mine thinks you’d make a nice sandwich, and now you open up this vista? I’ll never be able to look at the tentacled one again without picturing some kind of (truly) unholy sexcapades.
But this one is good also:
John Blaylock (The Hunger)/Hermione Granger (Harry Potter) Brings the current vampire craze to the Hogwarts
I got the knights who say NI (Monty Python and the Holy Grail) and Huck Finn.
Hmmm… it’s a pretty scary visual, considering how many swords would be involved.
Willow (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) and Cartman (South Park)
http://shiver.therogue.net/ultimateotp.php
Mine has strange pictures…
-Jo March is shagging Poppa Smurf.
-Sunny Baudelaire fangirls DEATH.
-Achilles is shagging Hercules. (…)
Don Quixote/Jo March (Little Women)
Renee d’Auber (Mairelon the Magician)/Homer Simpson (The Simpsons)
Farmer Ted (Sixteen Candles)/Derk (Dark Lord of Derkholm)
This is more addictive than online solitaire.
I TOTALLY want to write Aramis/Mr. Bean now. What an amazing concept. I have no idea what would happen, but it would be funny.
It is far too easy to think up random, amusing pairings. The hard part would be generating content around them. I ran a contest once for most improbable pairing, but you had to submit content. The hands down winner was a re-written scene, including lyrics, from “Seventeen-Seventy-Sex” where John Adams proved to Thomas Jefferson that not all men were created equal.
And how does your random confirmation word generator *know* so often? The word is ‘public45’.
I got Oskar Schindler and the Little Matchgirl… too much tragedy for a friday night, methinks…
Oh, that is wayyy too addictive. My best so far: Dodger (Oliver Twist)/Juan Valdez (Columbian Coffee Grower)
I like the idea of Cookie Monster and Walter…
C3PO (Star Wars)/Peter Pettigrew (Harry Potter)
This one could probably work
As could this one
Bubbles (Powerpuff Girls)/Chii (Chobots)
Jack Skellington (Nightmare Before Christmas)/KITT (Knight Rider)
Paul Atreides (Dune)/Jar Jar Binks (Star Wars)
My brain… it hurts.
There’s a (currently inactive) LiveJournal community dedicated to fan fiction of this sort. It’s called ‘It Hurts My Brain.’ When it was active, participants would submit lists of possible characters, and the moderators would generate a list of randomly matched pairs. People’d then claim some of those pairs to write stories about.
It’s here if you want to take a look: http://community.livejournal.com/ithurtsmybrain/
Ted Allen (Queer Eye for the Straight Guy)/Fidelio Gunn (Charlie Bone)
Gilderoy Lockhart (Harry Potter)/Jabba the Hutt
This generator is quite amusing.
Simon Tam (Firefly)/Worf (ST:TNG)
oh. yeah.
This is the most cracktastic pairing that I got from the generator:
The Gentlemen (Buffy)/Lucy Ricardo (I Love Lucy)
But Gonzo (Muppets)/ Dr. Johnny Fever (WKRP in Cincinnati), Galahad (Arthurian legend)/Willy Wonka, and Mimi (Rent)/Elizabeth Cady Stanton are pretty disturbing as well.
Oookay-
Bunter(Peter Wimsey) and Yuki Tsukishiro(Card Captor Sakura)
Ivor Vorpatril(Lois Bujold’s Barrayar novels) and Harry Potter’s Aunt Petunia.
Finally,one that strikes me as appropriate-Rex from Desperate Housewives and Mr. Big from Sex and the City.
I got this awesome pairing:
Jean Grey (X-men)/Sigmund the Penguin (Anita Blake)
I just know that Sigmund the Penguin has seen enough that he is a raging psycho!
Tucker Carlson (ex-Crossfire)/Vivi Ornitier (Final Fantasy 9)
Hmm.
My first try came out with
Johnny Smith (Dead Zone)/Adam Whitely (The Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert)
I got Maj. John Sheppard (Stargate Atlantis)/Seline Kyle (Catwoman) … I think they’d have loads of fun together!
My favourite? Has to be Tommy Gnosis (Hedwig and the Angry Inch)/Uncle Monty (A Series of Unfortunate Events)
Nah…Shiva and Cthulhu. Wow. I mean, like, wow.
Most of the ones I got weren’t good, or I didn’t get the references. But this one made me chuckle:
Lucius Malfoy (Harry Potter)/Danny Ocean (Ocean’s Eleven)
Envisioning Malfoy trying to smooch the Chairman of the Board was pretty amusing…….. 🙂
Scrat/Skeletor.
Yesyesyesyes, thank you…
The Librarian (Discworld)/God (The Bible)
Godzilla/Jessica Rabbit (Who Framed Roger Rabbit)
Hermione Granger (Harry Potter)/Clay Aiken (American Idol)
My brain is so confused right now.
I have this image of my plush Cthulhu cozying up my Buddy Christ action figure and I don’t thank you for it.