Our recent Mad Libs explosion has no doubt ruined many pairs of underwear across the nation. I know it would’ve ruined mine—that is, if I wore any, ha ha ha. In fact, so many of them are so good, I feel they need to be acknowledged in some way. Therefore, please find here the Best of the Best, as picked democratically by the Committee of Me, Me, Me, with categories also decided by Me, Me, Me.

Minor edits were made to verbs that were in the wrong tense, as well as corrections to all instances of adverb/adjective confusion, but otherwise, everything was copied verbatim.

Best “Was totally a porn movie starring Ron Jeremy”:
He smooshed his member when he saw her fondle her breasts. Now, can he find her throbbing tunnel? Find out in… Love’s orgasmic nethers. (Trix)

Honorable Mentions: He laved his bottom when he saw her come her man-titty. Now, can he thrust her deep armpit? Find out in… Love’s wanton manhood. (Jennie)

He blew his nut when he saw her draw her nuts. Now, can he do her pretty crack? Find out in… Love’s smelly door. (Sabrina)

Best Gloopity Love Acts:
He Squirmed his Jellyfish when he saw her Wriggle her Buttocks. Now, can he Undulate her Gelatinous Apple? Find out in… Love’s Globular Junk. (E.D’trix)

Best “Is totally somebody’s Livejournal”:
He blogged his iPod when he saw her cook her big toe. Now, can he crack her gnarly spyglass? Find out in… Love’s redundant bullshit. (Stef Feagan)

Made Candy laugh so hard, she was afraid she was going to pass out:
He exfoliated his stool when he saw her expell her armpit. Now, can he twiddle her ubiquitous post-it note? Find out in… Love’s cheese-scented nipple hair. (Amy E.)

Best “Was actually published by Harlequin in 1994”:
He Ran his Highland when he saw her dripping her elbow. Now, can he groan her happy bed? Find out in… Love’s shy Cowboy. (Miri)

Best Crying Game/Brokeback Mountain Crossover Moment:
He pumped his bosom when he saw her stroke her penis. Now, can he shuck her throbbing hotdog? Find out in… Love’s wet cowboy hat. (Angel)

Honorable mention: He fluttered his fire when he saw her run her nipple. Now, can he embrace her rakish rogue? Find out in… Love’s rosey damsel. (Stella)

Best “Sounds really really dirty without using any actual dirty words”:
He Stoked his Ponytail when he saw her Slip her Toenail. Now, can he Drive her Lush Garage? Find out in… Love’s Tight Fur coat. (Colleen Gleason)

Honorable mentions: He scuppered his Pickle when he saw her yodel her pinky. Now, can he separate her stiff tennis racket? Find out in… Love’s splintered fondue (Kate Rothwell)

He ate his glass when he saw her bounce her leg. Now, can he mop her disgusting hair? Find out in… Love’s creamy clog. (Laura Doublevie)

He Twizzled his Apricot when he saw her Varnish her Limb. Now, can he Half-Inch her Passionate Crucible? Find out in… Love’s Boinging Pergola. (EvilAuntiePeril)

Best Furry Wet Dream:
He fucked his cat when he saw her stomp her elbow. Now, can he lick her crimson rabbit? Find out in… Love’s hoppy banana. (Melissa P)

Best Medical Textbook Disorders:
He berated his swizzle stick when he saw her enflame her larynx. Now, can he emasculate her torpid obelisk? Find out in… Love’s repetitive rash. (Bettie)

Best Trailer Park Drama:
He rode his flower when he saw her run her snout. Now, can he strike her greasy daughter? Find out in… Love’s wet ass. (Summer)

Best Sci-Fi Gobbledegook:
He fired his starship when he saw her scan her guts. Now, can he shatter her thermonuclear warhead? Find out in… Love’s superluminal antimatter. (Skapusniak)

Honorable Mention: He fracked his toaster when he saw her remove her brainstem. Now, can he launch her android-like hologram? Find out in… Love’s smegging spacebug. (DebH)

Best Mile-High Club References:
He flew his left shoe when he saw her swive her pinky toe. Now, can he toddle her fuzzy skyscraper? Find out in… Love’s rousing airplane toilet. (E)

Best Topical References:
He received his ARC when he saw her sell her appendix. Now, can he steal her unethical kitten? Find out in… Love’s cute Ebay. (Kilo)


Fun And Games

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  1. 1
    Tiggy says:

    Hilarious! Now I simply have to try my own and see what comes out. Hmm, that didn’t sound too good eh.

  2. 2
    KariBelle says:

    Thanks for reminding me about Mad Libs.  I fell in love with them when I was about 8 years old, but they are so much more fun with my 34 year-old vocabulary!

  3. 3
    rebyj says:


    Best “Sounds really really dirty without using any actual dirty words”:
    He Stoked his Ponytail when he saw her Slip her Toenail. Now, can he Drive her Lush Garage? Find out in… Love’s Tight Fur coat. (Colleen Gleason)

  4. 4
    Amy E says:

    Yay!  I made the list!  Whoot!  (yes, simple pleasures for simple minds, lol)

    And in celebration, I just bought 4 books of Mad Libs from Amazon.com (buy 3, get one free) for the RWA Conference.  I’m rooming with 3 other erotic romance authors—can you picture the 4 of us, around 2am, drunk and doing MadLibs?  I can’t wait!

  5. 5
    Emily says:

    My vote is for the trailer-park one by Summer.
    My days off work are devoted to the worship at the Shrine of Jerry Springer.

  6. 6
    Susan says:

    these were great. made me giggle.

  7. 7
    DebH says:

    Wow, Honorable Mention!  Thanks, Bitches!  Is it really, really sad that I’m so happy about this?  Yeah.  Thought so.

  8. 8

    Wow!! I made the list too! Way cool!

    And Amy, I want to find you at RWA and join in on those MadLibs. What a great idea!

  9. 9
    MelissaP says:

    Yay, I made the list, beastiality and everything.

  10. 10
    Maggie Robinson says:

    I am almost sorry I was on vacation and missed this. Love MadLibs…used to use them to teach parts of speech to elementary school kids, and some of those fifth graders would have placed highly in your contest, I believe, little guttersnipes that they were. Hope I’m around for next year’s contest, she said longingly.

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