Warning: nothing to do with romance novels, but I was bored and felt like hunting down pictures of pretty people.
So anyway, a little while ago, I found a meme that told you to list ten famous people you’d shag, but now I forget WHERE I saw it. Regardless, here’s my top ten list. Alex Kapranos and Jared Padalecki didn’t quite make it; James Mercer and Johnny Depp bumped ‘em off. The eye candy factor in this particular list may or may not suit you, since I generally like ‘em small, skinny and goofy, but if you think Spike Jonze is infinitely bone-able, you’ll probably dig this.
I have SUCH a crush on Matthew Caws. In fact, have another picture of Matt:
I get to see him live in just under two weeks! EEEEE!
Beck was the first goofy, skinny celebrity I had a crush on. He was the gateway goofy, skinny musician crush, if you will.
Yeah, I even think his Richard Koufey alter-ego is kind of hot, in a really weird way.
God bless whoever found this picture of Jakey-boy and posted it in the comments. RAWR.
CSI: Miami is rendered unwatchable to me because of David “Glasses On, Glasses Off” Caruso’s terrible acting, but I still tune in every now and again just to lust and drool over Jonathan Togo’s character. I’ll do chores or read by the TV until I hear Ryan Wolfe’s voice, then I’ll stop what I’m doing and sigh. Hey, here’s a thought: There needs to be a “good parts” DVD for CSI: Miami, kind of like those porn videos with only the money shots, only instead of spewing penises I get to see Ryan Wolfe looking adorably worried. DUDE. I’M A GENIUS.
Smart, super-skinny, angsty and rocks out with great sexiness and verve in stiletto heels: I apparently like my women the way I like my men. I’d so totally go gay for Polly Jean.
It’s the deadpan sarcasm that gets to me. Really. It is. Oh, fine, the rippling muscles don’t hurt, either.
You regulars probably know about my huge crush on Andy Lau. I’ve wanted him to be my boyfriend ever since I saw him in a kung fu soap opera when I was five or six years old. Him, and Ricky Schroeder in Silver Spoons. Andy’s appeal has lasted quite a bit longer than Ricky’s, however.
He is such a freak, and baby Siddharta knows he looks greasy enough to fry an egg on in a lot of his movies and pictures, but he’s a damn fine actor, and, well, LOOK AT THOSE CHEEKBONES. And that mouth. Christ.
I want to cuddle James Mercer ruthlessly and tell him everything’s going to be OK. Then do unspeakably dirty things to him. And then cuddle him again.
I think I’m supposed to tag people at the end of the meme, so how about this: I tag all of you who read this and feel remotely inclined to participate. If you do, just drop a note in the comments. I’m always down for some eye candy.
YES to boinkable authors! Neil Gaiman and Alex Garland top the list like ROOOOOOWWWRRR!
Old dudes whom I’d totally have shagged in their salad days:
Alain Delon
Harrison Ford
Paul Newman
And sherryfair, bless you for that picture of Jake (and for the two you e-mailed me—sorry I never e-mailed you back to thank them because, well, the pictures were…distracting). He can male-whore all over me any time. Oh good god. I think I need to go lie down. Um. Yes. Hooray for hot nice Jewish boys! (I’m sure Sarah can attest to their appeal, too, tee hee.)
1. Jake Gyllenhaal – that pic alone would garner him a place on my list.
2. Daniel Dae Kim
3. Colin Firth – Mr. Darcy… sigh.
4. John Cusack
5. David Beckham
6. Fredrik Ljungberg – continuing with the soccer theme. Someone else who looks good in their Calvin Kleins.
7. Rivers Cuomo – There’s something about those glasses…
8. Vince Vaughn – he’s funny and he seemed like a pretty good dancer in Wedding Crashers.
9. Victor Garber – the spydad on Alias.
10. Lena Olin – Victor’s duplicitous TV wife. I’d love to look like that at 50. Or you know, now.
As a newbie to this site I just wanted to add how much I’m enjoying it so far!
Andy Lau over a younger brooding Chow Yun Fatt, really?
I keep pestering my wife with these lists, and all I get is, “No. Nope. Like him as an actor, don’t want to see him naked. Uh-uh. Ew.”
Her only two picks, so far—and they don’t appear on anyone’s list:
Dolph Lundgren (because he used to be a physics grad student)
David Duchovny (because he’s smart and funny).
Really, I’m shocked, shocked, that none of y’all picked Duchovny. The guy is off the air for two or three years, and suddenly he falls off everyone’s radar.
Ok I’ve been thinking about this all day, and I think I can stand by my list.
Gabriel Byrne – Beautiful.
Johnny Depp – I liked him as a bad boy but I find I love him as a devoted family man.
Neil Gaiman – when I wasn’t that into Anansi days I could just turn to the back and gaze into his beautiful eyes. It kept me going.
Romell Regulacion – Has this band Razed in Black, goth, knows he’s beautiful, uses it against me! So so wrong.
Jonathan Rhys Meyers – I sat through that bad elvis movie for this man. Ok I’ll be honest, I mostly tivoed towards the dancing scenes.
Jet Li – That man can move, and hes so cute and small. I want him in my bed.
John Cusack – John and I go way back, once a long time ago he held up a stereo to my window and played the most beautiful song…
Maggie Gyllenhaal – Fell in love with her in the Secretary.
Gael Garcia Bernal – Seriously, noone? Are you sure?
James Marsters – I get to call him Spike. His band was playing at some con in Atlanta last year, and for some last minute reason I couldn’t go. Noooo.
<
>
Ohmygod! Duchovny! I forgot all about Mitch Pileggi!!!
I thought of a woman – Kathleen Turner in Body Heat.
I was ready to be horrified by your pix after your line about small, skinny and goofy but must admit I agreed with a few, namely Jake, Ryan, Johnny and Jason.
On top of those four above (and I do literally mean on top, like a great big pile up) I would add:
Viggo, Hugh Jackman, Vin Diesel, Jet Li, Denzel and Gary Dourdan.
hmmmm…Gary
Doug, your wife mentioned Dolph Lungren. She’s got damn good taste. I think he was probably my first crush. I had a picture of him (From Rocky) taped to my binder in Grade 8. I saw some recent piece o’ crap movie on tv with him, and you know what, that man is STILL beautiful.
World’s best bone structure.
What?! No one mentioned Avery Brooks? That voice… That shaved head…
I’ll totally geek out here and do a Sci-Fi list:
Avery Brooks
Michael Dorn
Nathan Fillon
Terry Farrell
Cirroc Lofton
Alan Tudyk
Morena Baccarin
Sean Maher
Monica Bellucci
Carrie-Anne Moss
Yummy.
(Johnny Depp is so incredibly hot he transcends the list)
Here’s my current crush list:
Jake Gyllenhaal
Eric Szmanda of CSI (I love my Greg Sanders).
Wentworth Miller
Christian Campbell (and he can sing…anyone see Reefer Madness: The Musical?)
Steve Sandvoss (Google him, seriously.)
Topher Grace
Josh Charles
Clive Owen
Jason O’Mara
Cyrille Thouvenin (French actor, Google him, too, trust me)
weee! Posting mine tomorrow.
I’m reading this and all I want to do is shout names randomly while drooling.
Jason Statham!!!
Rutger Hauer!!!
Ioan Gruffyd!!! (sp?)
Aidan Quin!!!!
Vin Diesel!!! (but only when being a BAd Boy…)
Vince Vaughn!!!
Jet Li!!!
And may I add James Purefoy of Rome fame?
Actually, did I miss it, or has no-one mentioned Ryan Reynolds yet? How is this possible???
I can’t think of my own list. You all have my knees weak from reading yours.
Gael Garcia Bernal – yes, absolutely. And while we’re in the hot Latin male category, I must confess to a fascination with Benicio del Toro. Just want to hug and kiss that man until he’s all better.
John Irving—hot, smart, and that VOICE! Have any of you ever been to one of his readings? OMG. Go.
Johnny Depp—the modern reformed rake. Gotta love him.
OK. My brain is literally short-circuiting. All I want to do is read everyone else’s lists and swoon.
“Steve Sandvoss (Google him, seriously.)”
Seriously is right!
In honor of the Olympics I also want to include Jeremy Bloom and Bode Miller in my list. There’s probably other list-worthy Olympians I’m forgetting here…
WAIT A MINUTE!! Nobody’s mentioned Clive Owen!! Or is he just so obvious that we don’t need to put him on our lists. I guess it’s just assumed we’d all shag him retarded if given half a chance..
I went to sleep last night trying to think of who I would boot off my list for James Spader, there must be someone…
Ok crap Ryan Reynolds too, I’m in overload!!
I can’t just stick to 10, man.
I’m so glad someone else mentioned Eric Szmanda! Greg! Give us more Greg! Kill off that weird European chick that everyone hates on CSI, and get him more screentime!
I have to add more, I’m sorry. Blame God, if you must, for making so many good-looking individuals:
Steve Carrell (I dunno why, but I love his nose….)
Jason Lee (with or without the ‘stache)
Mark Ruffalo! No one’s mentioned Mark Ruffalo! Rhymes with buffalo, people!
Chris Noth
Paul Rudd
TR Knight (George from “Grey’s Anatomy”)
Fred Armisen from SNL
Christian Bale (Duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh BATMAN!)
Ah, dammit. Y’all keep coming up with names I missed out in my top 10.
Rivers Cuomo (he’s just my size! So cute! So cuddly! So shaggable!)
Christian Bale
Lloyd Dobbs (John Cusack is adorable in his own right, but Lloyd Dobbs has my heart 4-ever—and yes, I’m a dirty old woman because Dobbs is all of 19 years old)
Chow Yun Fatt
Jet Li
Paul Rudd
Freddie Ljungberg
Jason Lee
Viggo Mortensen, but only in Aragorn drag
Dead guy I’d totally have shagged way back in the day: Toshiro. Fucking. Mifune. The epitome of FIERCE hotness.
Doug’s list included Sarah Silverman, and I realized I’d TOTALLY GO GAY for her, too. What is it about these articulate, dark-haired skinny chicks, eh?
Rinda? Where’s the nekkid picture of Adrian Paul?
Hah! I don’t believe you have one! Maybe you’d better prove it!
When my boys were small and watched Highlander they’d call out, “He’s taking off his shirt again!” and I would come out and watch tv for a few moments, then go back to work.
They did the same thing for the Soloflex ads: “Your ad is on!”
It’s wise sons who know their own mother.
Eww, David Caruso. I can just see him telling the director “Hey, why don’t I stand with my hands on my hips side-facing the camera while I deliver my line looking over the top of my sunglasses?” And the director says “Again? Okay, whatever.”
I’ve got to agree with Duchovny, Cusack, Firth and Topher Grace. And I’ll add Joshua Jackson and Ari Hest.
I have to admit that David Caruso does have a sexy voice, probably to compensate for his appearance, which is akin to a puppet with popsicle sticks for limbs and a shrived old potato for a head with some ginger-coloured mold on it.
If he had better lines to say, he’d be more interesting.
If we’re ranging into hot voice terroritory, though: Ron Perlman. He could melt butter with his voice from 20 yards away, but he’d have to be in full “Beauty and the Beast” or “Hellboy” makeup, first.
Lots of repeats, and a few new ones:
*Goran Visnjic – he should have a HUGE movie career, the man is gorgeous
*Jason Behr – uh, didn’t anyone else lust over this guy on “Roswell”? He is bee-yoo-tee-ful
*the 80s Mel Gibson – have you seen this man in “The Bounty”?
*Daniel-Day Lewis in “The Last of the Mohicans” only
*Johnny Depp – especially in “Edward Scissorhands”
*John Cusack – only in teenage/college-type flicks like “Say Anything”
*Hugh Jackman
*Harrison Ford in the 70s/80s/early 90s (now he’s starting to look like somebody’s granddad, and he is losing his stud-ness)
*River Phoenix (oh, that he survived his drug overdose)
*Kiefer Sutherland in “24” mode only, please
Gawd, all this yummy goodness in one spot? I’m not sure I can come up with ten either, but I’ll try—
in no particular order:
Orlando Bloom (yeah, a girl can like a younger man, no?)
Adrian Paul
Brendan Fraser
Josh Harnett
Eric Bana (the more I look, the more I like)
Dean Roland (latest *swoon*)(and Ed, too.. I could do a Roland brother Sandwich) (from Collective Soul)
um….um…..um…..
okay, twist my arm, I’ll say Johnny Depp. But that’s really about it.
You bitches have taken all my men! I’m in for pretty much every guy named on this list (but most esp. Oded Fehr; God he’s hot, and TALL!).
To add a few I think you’ve missed:
Clancy Brown (that fricken voice!)
Tyron Leitso (the ever adorable Eric from Wonderfalls)
Gary Dourdan (Warrick Brown on CSI)
Sean Bean (God I love that Yorkshire accent!)
and how could we forget Cary Grant?
Wesley (the later years when he was working the hell out of the nerd turned bad ass look)
The Wesley on my list would be from the beginning of season 4…that scene in Deep Down where you find he has Justine in the closet? Guh. I think my ovaries swelled up to twice their normal size. (Gotta have a bad boy on the list to keep it well-rounded.)
And this is completely off topic but I can’t help myself: why doesn’t that man have a job? He’s so flexible as an actor.
Damn, You guys have some good ones. I have to agree with the following:
Gerard Butler (*sigh*), Liam Neeson, Sam Elliot, Viggo Mortenson, Oded Fehr, Clive Owen, John Cusak, and Matthew McConaughey.
The men that haven’t gotten enough attention on these lists:
Jason O’Mara and Raul Bova. Jay-sus they’re yummy!
Gari
Course, there’s also Mark Harmon, Hugh Laurie, Anderson Cooper, Jeremy Piven (he’s funny, ok?), Tim McGraw, Patrick Dempsey, John F. Kennedy Jr., Joaquin Phoenix….. the list can go on for-eva!
Does anyone remember that awful show Temptation Island? The Hubby and I came up with a fabulous idea: Celebrity Temptation Island. We chose our celebrity “tempters” (or is it temptors?) and compared notes as to why or why not we included certain celebs. We still update our lists from time to time, and when someone goes especially bad (a la Tom Cruise) they are “off the island”. My current list is composed of:
Hugh Jackman
Takeshi Kaneshiro
Ioan Gruffudd
Christian Bale
Karl Urban
Orlando Bloom
Josh Duhamel
Brad Pitt (I know, obvious)
Jake Gyllenhall
Tom Welling
Keanu Reeves (Neo only, please!)
That’s 11, but hey, it’s my island!
ShuzLuva—my idea for a reality show was simpler: strand me on an island with my Top Ten, and call it “Who CARES if I Survive?”
Mmm Cary Grant and Toshiro Mifune. 10 is not even close to enough. Huge girl crush on Ingrid Bergman in Casablanca, now that I’m thinking about the classics.
Hmmm… concentrating on some truly thigh-melting people I haven’t seen on this list, bearing in mind I’m not a fan of scrawny (male or female):
Mia Tyler (Liv’s sister)
Val Kilmer
Jennifer Connolly
David Boreanaz (y’all can have Spike & Wesley, gimme Angel!)
Janeane Garofalo (who gets to play me in the movie of my life)
Stephen King
Angelina Jolie (when she was a young, fleshier model – Growr!)
Kevin Smith (Silent Bob, mmmmm…)
Nia Vardalos
Kevin Kline
And I’d so be all about Ducovney, Jason Lee, Vince Vaughan, and John Cusack, too, but their calendars looked a little busy…
YES to Cary Grant and Harrison Ford (as Indiana Jones or Han Solo). And Sean Bean. And Sting (from The Police days). And Hugh Jackman.
Hugh Laurie? Anyone?
I must also confess my inexplicible urge to watch Keanu Reeves in almost anything. I am at a loss to explain why.
Ok, yes, Hugh Laurie in “House” is fantastic. Very scruffy and injured to the depths of his soul. Sigh.
I, too, feel compelled to watch Keanu in all of his movies. Please help me understand myself. And that one movie, “Chain Reaction”? I really, really like it. What is my problem?
ShuzLuva – there was actually a series called ‘Celebrity Love Island’ here in the UK last year, in which six female and six male D-list celebrities were on an idyllic south seas island…My lovely Jayne Middlemiss was on it, so I watched.
Hugh Laurie confuses me. I grew up watching him in Blackadder, Fry & Laurie, Jeeves & Wooster etc etc. Heck, I even chose my bank when I was sixteen partially because it was advertised by Fry & Laurie. So it’s taken a long time to get used to him with an American accent and stubble. I can see why he’s attractive to people, but I can’t quite escape the “…but it’s Hugh Laurie” thought.
Here’s the list…keeping in mind that there are probably others who would bump some of these off, if only I had thought of them first.
1. Ioan Gruffydd
2. Karl Urban
3. Eric Bana
4. Nathan Fillion
5. Goran Visnjic
6. Don Cheadle
7. Patrick Stewart…but only if he wears the Cpt. Picard uniform and quotes Shakespeare and John Donne to me.
8. Javier Bardem…because not only does he look good, he can hablame in espanish, which makes my heart go pitter pat.
9. Juliette Binoche
10. Daniel Day Kim & Naveen Andrews & Matthew Fox…I’m counting them all as one, since they fall under my “Lost” obsession.
Ahem. In case anyone requires a little themed inspiration: http://www.hotolympians.com/
And a few other suggestions to throw into the mix:
Jack Nicholson in his “Easy Rider” era.
Freddie Ljunberg. Ahhh Freddie.
John Malkovich
Spike Spiegel of Cowboy Bebop fame. (It’s not weird to fancy cartoons, really).
I am also confused by Hugh Laurie in “House”, and Dylan Moran is indeed oddly attractive.
And you may wish to make your selection from any one of these handsome creatures:
http://www.modernhumorist.com/mh/0011/monkey/
Okey-doke. Nose—> grindstone
Oh, EAP, yes indeed to Spike Spiegel. So tall. So skinny. So smart-alecky. So kung-fu tasty. So hot.
So very, very NOT REAL.
Oh, and speaking of Hot Olympians: Swimming has always been my favorite eye candy event, mostly because I love slim, lean men, and a swimmer’s build is just about my ideal male body. During the 2004 Summer Olympics, I was idly watching the swimming events when I caught sight of Michael Phelps. I yelped out loud, turned to the Very Tall Husband and said “Holy crap, he could be your younger brother!”
Except the VTH is actually even hotter than Phelps. Not as muscular, but his face is is a lot prettier. And taller, of course—don’t know how tall Phelps is, but I doubt he’s 6’8”.
Anyway, the next day at work, some his co-workers were telling the VTH the very same thing.
In no particular order…
Joaquin Phoenix, because INTENSITY is sexy.
Vincent D’Onofrio, because BIG and WEIRD are sexy.
Jon Stewart, because SMART and FUNNY are sexy.
Paul Newman, because BEAUTIFUL is sexy.
Bradley Whitford, because…again…SMART and FUNNY are sexy.
John Cusack, because MIDLY NEUROTIC is sexy.
Alan Rickman, because EXPERIENCE is sexy.
Joseph Fiennes, because TALENT is sexy.
Goran Visnjic, because the ACCENT is sexy.
George Clooney, because PRETTY and POLITICAL are sexy.