All this talk about Harlequin Presents made me nostalgic for all those awful Mills & Boon novels my sister collected back in the day. So this personal ad is going to be more obscure than most, because it’s a Mills & Boon/Harlequin Presents from the early 80s. Good luck guessing the author, the title and the hero’s name. Mwahahahaha.
If you think Candy naming her cat Hitler was perverse, wait till you check out my cat’s name
SWM, reclusive singer/songwriter, looking for innocent virgin to shout at and about whom I can make horrible assumptions. Spineless daddy’s girls who are about to be forced into a loveless marriage a bonus. Oh, and watch out for my cat. He’s one mean sumbitch, and I gave him a totally bitchin’ name so the author can give the book a totally bitchin’ title.
Candy named her cat Hitler? Doesn’t that give him a complex when he goes to the vet’s?
I had a friend who named his dog Scrotum, so that when the dog got out of the yard he could ask the neighbors, “Have you seen my Scrotum?”
Oh yeah, I named her Hitler because she has the funniest little ‘stache on her upper lip.
You can see some nauseatingly cute pictures of her here.
The irony is that she’s the gentlest kitty-kat ever. Her combination defensive/offensive tactic, near as I can tell, is running under the bed. My former housemate, Stu, has one of the magnificent Jew-fros I’ve ever seen, and she was terrified of him. Many, many tasteless jokes were and will be made at my poor cat’s expense.
It took me YEARS before I could bear to tell Sarah what I’d named her.
Okay, there is no chance in hell that I will ever figure this one out, although back in the day I could read Penny Jordan, etc. with the best of them. However I thought I would share this magnificent site I found. Enough Harlequin Presents titles to cause a minor seizure. And with gems like Mistress of Pillatoro and Bride of Whangatapu? It is totally worth a look.
http://www.echopaperbacks.com/har_presents.html
Hey, technically, I’m Hitler’s Mistress.
Wouldn’t that make for a totally awesome Harlequin Presents title? Or does it just sound like bad Aryan porn?
Hitler is so darned cute…awwwwww. (Hey – there’s something I never thought I’d say.) I’ve tried to take my cat’s picture, but she seems to have some innate ability to sense when the clicker’s about to snap. She’s even been dead asleep and somehow still managed to wake up in time to scamper off when I’m about to take a picture.
Anyway.
The time period in question is from the era when I had checked out of reading in the romance genre, so no way would I ever be able to guess this one. But I really enjoyed that link, E.D’Trix – seeing some of those names brought back some memories. (Not to mention reminded me that they used to be a bit more creative with their titles back in the day.)
OK, here are a couple of clues:
The author’s first name starts with C, and she’s one of THE grande dames of Mills & Boon/Harlequin Presents.
And my post about being Hitler’s Mistress? Is a Big Freakin’ Clue as to the structure of the title.
Go forth and Google, my pretties!
Is it Sabina from Carole Mortimer’s book Satan’s Master?
I went and looked at that Harlequin Presents title sight, and some of them are hilarious! Enter My Jungle? Thai Triangle? Is that a new kind of bikini wax? Ha.
Joel Brent is the hero’s name!
Holy crap! Elisabeth got it, but Laurie ultimately won title because I needed the hero’s name, not the heroine’s.
Congratulations for getting the answer! I’m afraid to ask if you guys used the Power of Google, or whether you’d actually remembered the book well enough to guess. Because frankly? The latter terrifies me, and *I* remembered it well enough to come up with that ad. (OK, I had to Google to find out the hero’s name. But God help me, I remembered the heroine’s name, plus way too many other details about the book, even though I read it only once about 15 years ago.)
OK, long-winded preamble done. A title will be coming forthwith! But possibly not until I get home from work, because it’s almost quitting time in this here joint.
No way! [/excited]
I used Google, and this site: http://www.readthatbookagain.com/welcome.html which, I just happened to stumble across. Even if I had read the book (I’ve never been a Presents fan,) the chances that I would remember anything about it are slim to none. *has attention span of plastic spoon*
I probably read it many years ago 🙂 I was hooked on the Mills and Boons titles when I was a kid, and I still read Harlequins when I’m feeling nostalgic. The title that came to mind when I read this post was “Leopard in the Snow” by Anne Mather—well, there was a cat (a really big one!) At least there was one in the title.
I’ll pull out a few Harlequins when I need something comforting and familiar, or when I’m in a reading slump. I always preferred the really old (fifties- and sixties-era, primarily,) typo-happy ones. I have no idea why.
Speaking of Leopard in the Snow…I remember when I was a kid that several Harlequins advertised that a movie was going to be made out of that book. I never saw it, but have always wondered….did they make the movie? Was it any good? Does anyone know what I’m talking about? (I can still see the ad inside the book in my head—spooky after all these years!)
According to imdb, they did make a movie of it, and there are a couple of favorable reviews, but the average user rating is an underwhelming 5.0. The link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077847/.
I remember that ad vividly, too.
Candy, I had a cat with a cute little mustache… and I decided Chaplin was a more reasonable name than Hitler. But I was tempted, and now I sort of wish I’d gone with it!
wait wait wait. What was the cat’s name? How could you not tell us what the cat’s name was?
If the name of the book is Satan’s Master, I’m guessing…Satan?
That’s much more fun if you say it with a Church Lady voice.
I named my cat Candy. She eats small fluffy things, and alss large fluffy things (I want to get her the Bad MotherFucker wallet, but what does a cat need a wallet for?). So, a name is a name. Her big brother is called Tinkerbell, and yes, he is gay.
Oh… and a certain number of Presents authors I know were horribly offended by your list of Presents titles, which tells you something about Presents authors. Hey, I thought they were funny.
I told them to bitch back at you.
Now I’m going to get some popcorn, and watch the bitchfight…
Cat: REALLY? We pissed ‘em off?
But they’re titles that WON’T make the grade, see?
*snickers*
Which reminds me: I need to post the Harlequin Presents Title contest, wherein one fake title is hidden amids a forest of real titles.
I’m laughing at the thought of a cat named Scrotum. Poor cat . . .