More madlibs! More fun! This title was inspired by an e-mail E.D’trix sent me. So you can place the blame for this mess squarely on her.
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Wallyfallymassaquolaffy looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious bison attack. His massive, bulging nose gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive Achilles tendon, she cringed back.
‘“Lishen to me!”!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are quaaaaaamnshoooody, Woman-With-Hair-Like-the Milky Way.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked sleepily.
‘lfashdfahs iulwrlfdsa wqeriyysakj werwersfd weirudcvsajadf susafiuoafdssafasfv safk sfsdaff qwsjvnvsdiz sfav dsaffdsv,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample breast nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most jealous thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Wallyfallymassaquolaffy. It mean ‘proctologist-who-sprays-goat-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘hydrangea,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive clock you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Wallyfallymassaquolaffy could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate elbow in his callused hand and spoke her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He slept his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy armadillo he felt.
I should know what medulla oblongata is. 😡
I always enjoy these! Here’s mine—
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Labettamin looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious rattler attack. His massive, bulging knee gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive inner thigh, she cringed back.
‘thweet!!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are hhhrrucckk, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Crab Nebula.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked greasily.
‘erheroih ssefgrh wefwfwe ihiowe ihf ,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample septum nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most weepily thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Labettamin. It mean ‘basket-who-fart-hamster-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘anemone,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive tree you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Labettamin could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate pinkie in his callused hand and looted her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He sang his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy capture he felt.
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“Basket Who Fart Hamster in the Nuts” just slays me.
i purposely didn’t read any of the other madlibs before i did this. sorry, typing with squirmy baby on my lap. I am laughing so hard i am crying!
Mammajammafunkoramma looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious whistlepig attack. His massive, bulging little toe gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive earlobe, she cringed back.
‘whassit!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are gerblech, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Uranus.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked looking.
‘janoidnnoieethmhalnodnsy,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample bellybutton nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most purple thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Mammajammafunkoramma. It mean ‘laundry hamper-who-peeing-iguana-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘hyacinth,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive diaper you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Mammajammafunkoramma could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate flabby belly in his callused hand and barfed her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He tooted his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy Aunt Nelly he felt.
Lalashambo looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious badgers attack. His massive, bulging arm gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive leg, she cringed back.
‘wanna wimbe!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are scrakpoof, Woman-With-Hair-Like-angel.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked green.
‘ahdklahdndlndnlnal,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample eye nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most lovely thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Lalashambo. It mean ‘dog-who-walking-dog-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘sun,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive lace you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Lalashambo could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate toe in his callused hand and paved her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He sat his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy butt he felt.
“only she could slake the unholy Aunt Nelly he felt.”
Missie! I am dying. Way past Depends moment. I think I pulled something.
Well, what do you expect of an hero named Mammajammafunkoramma. 😆
My humble offering:
Neenerneener looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious mir cat attack. His massive, bulging elbow gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive upper lip, she cringed back.
‘ddddaats hot !’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are heeyurg, Woman-With-Hair-Like-saturn.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked quickly.
‘jkj kdidj yhgy odpdiy jfudytt koft,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample ankle nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most bright thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Neenerneener. It mean ‘spoon-who-run-dwarf rabbit-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘buttercup,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive jackhammer you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Neenerneener could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate forehead in his callused hand and shot her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He sang his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy book he felt.
Quarzedwackto looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious scorpion attack. His massive, bulging elbow gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive eyebrow, she cringed back.
‘It’s not my nose!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are smacksmackgurg, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Io.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked emphatically.
‘hjfsoaav ojfadoifeopv poerewp dhsadareqhpo,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample nostril nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most smelly thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Quarzedwackto. It mean ‘Jell-O-who-dancing-ferret-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘orchid,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive frog you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Quarzedwackto could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate earlobe in his callused hand and tested her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He sneezed his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy wine rack he felt.
I didn’t read the others before posting. I’m in tears right now. I have to go into a chat still chortling.
Cool.
What fun!
Smart Bitch Madlibs: Love’s Savage Buckskin
Gagmee looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious groundhog attack. His massive, bulging big toe gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive tongue, she cringed back.
‘durrrrrrr-KAY!!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are hawooooof, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Mars.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked spitefully.
‘kljthh whoog George Bush,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample nipple nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most delicious thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Gagmee. It mean ‘collander-who-jam-horse-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘Daisy,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive shoe you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Gagmee could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate cock in his callused hand and screamed her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He licked his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy Idaho potato he felt.
Collander-who-jam-horse-in-the-nuts!
Bwahahahaha!!!
My son and I collaborated on this. He couldn’t stand the finished version.
BooshClock looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious spikey lizard attack. His massive, bulging pancreas gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive lung, she cringed back.
‘I aoouuu zha zha!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are hackety hackety blergh, Woman-With-Hair-Like-jupiter.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked monotonously.
‘gdhfngcdgfv fvjhcfjhcgfuycrcu frhcmjfhrcufhcrfllif ufikk,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample gall bladder nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most glamorous thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name BooshClock. It mean ‘tiger-who-gobble-ginger the llama-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘chokecherry,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive bookend you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
BooshClock could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate liver in his callused hand and conquered her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He exported his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy dog chewy he felt.
Twesojomophoo looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious prairie dog attack. His massive, bulging udder gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive tympanum, she cringed back.
‘thay thay thay wha!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are quwaghhhhhkkaaa, Woman-With-Hair-Like-asteroid.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked wretchedly.
‘fokeklfalkjeafn laelkf laflekng aklelkf elalng lakeklgn alelg ,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample pinkie toe nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most languid thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Twesojomophoo. It mean ‘orb-who-arch-pot-bellied pig-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘delphinium,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive blanket you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Twesojomophoo could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate forefinger in his callused hand and clapped her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He swamped his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy hard drive he felt.
Giffarkunckle looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious camel attack. His massive, bulging dick gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive scrotum, she cringed back.
‘bite me!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are scrumfle, Woman-With-Hair-Like-uranus.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked lonely.
‘fjawojf fjf flfjldriejos ,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample titty nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most bloated thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Giffarkunckle. It mean ‘rock-who-squirt-cat-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘lily,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive shoe you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Giffarkunckle could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate toe in his callused hand and spackled her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He farted his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy bench he felt.
I swear this was my first shot at it. I don’t think I could’ve edited it to be better!
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Bafruglicious looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious scorpion attack. His massive, bulging toenail gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive freckle, she cringed back.
‘gottafrinklegottafrinkle!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are schmulurp, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Alpha Centauri.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked effluently.
‘allskfjwao asdfa oksfab tmnolkjo bhoihsdfek,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample fugly wart with a hair growing out of it nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most arthritic thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Bafruglicious. It mean ‘clod-who-desalinate-parakeet-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘gin blossom,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive receipt you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Bafruglicious could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate prostate in his callused hand and mailed her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He barked his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy armchair he felt.
“the unholy nugget”
I cannot get this phrase out of my head. I’m thinking Ivana Trump’s new Vegas hotel; I’m thinking the Colnel’s extra crispy man parts; I’m thinking flash frozen, freeze dried, or deep fried porn. I’m thinking about the most twisted Romance novel cover ever—how about some man titty with those nuggets. Is it plagiarism to steal a Romance Mad Lib expression???
Flibberdabberdobulus looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious desert hedgehog attack. His massive, bulging epiglotis gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive patella, she cringed back.
‘bi…bi… bi… bite me!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are bleuk bleuk bleuk, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Crab Nebula.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked sardonically.
‘lfjalf ajfalfja fjrfalfj ajeljfa,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample inner ear nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most unholy thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Flibberdabberdobulus. It mean ‘javelin-who-eating-tame ant-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘Viper’s Bugloss,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive trumpet you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Flibberdabberdobulus could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate third nipple in his callused hand and hoovered her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He pogo-ed his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy bucket he felt.
It is not encouraged to sob with laughter at work….
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Thsioen looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious gerbil attack. His massive, bulging arm gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive ear, she cringed back.
‘Buttum!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are Pffffffffffffopopopop, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Sirius.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked stickily.
‘shfonc hjoiyen kwjms hsyehtr heehehehei hsioehaenwan ahdai anddn dn nd,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample tongue nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most huge thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Thsioen. It mean ‘lawn-who-pushing-guinea pig-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘sweet pea,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive chair you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Thsioen could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate stomach in his callused hand and struck her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He ran his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy pen he felt.
OMG, this is what happens when you take a sick day. I’m so behind, but this totally made up for it. I did mine before reading the others and now I’m wishing I were wittier, but I claim genius for the Antonio Banderas line! LOL!
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Ubalulahgulah looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious dung beetle attack. His massive, bulging knee gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive throat, she cringed back.
‘W-w-w-wha-dat ?!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are gwah-flu-click-click-click, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Antonio Bandera.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked whisperingly.
‘dsfk uieorw dlskjf poi si ksdljf s lakdfj,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample leg nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most gooey thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Ubalulahgulah. It mean ‘pipe-who-coming-dog-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘marigold,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive countertop you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Ubalulahgulah could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate big toe in his callused hand and gone her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He wandered his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy book he felt.
The REAL challenge is, who’s gonna take one of these excerpts and write a short story around it?
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Elhascarbean looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious prairie dog attack. His massive, bulging buttock gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive ankle, she cringed back.
‘Bugs are good!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are plurk, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Pluto.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked stinkily.
‘alsjf asutqper zxcvzwqlfhga,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample eardrum nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most furry thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Elhascarbean. It mean ‘camel-who-running-ferret-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘gladiola,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive cigarette you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Elhascarbean could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate fingernail in his callused hand and ran her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He sneezed his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy Paris he felt.
Tchsckalitz looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious prairie dog attack. His massive, bulging left nipple gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive third toe on right foot, she cringed back.
‘Woo-Woo-Wowza!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are Arghasnarf, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Jupiter.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked smashingly.
‘dashajdhsajkdas dajskdh,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample pinky nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most tergid thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Tchsckalitz. It mean ‘horse-who-itch-gerbil-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘tiger lily,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive button you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Tchsckalitz could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate earlobe in his callused hand and juggled her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He googled his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy nailpolish he felt.
Some random observations about this round of mad libs:
– Romababe is right: HOLY SHIT, there’s a whole lotta toes, kneecaps and ankles.
– My favorite part by far is seeing what people put in for the new retarded-kid-with-speech-impediment catchphrase. A close second is the fucked-up dog noises.
– The various unholy items that our intrepid hero feels? Crack my shit up so hard. We’ve had an unholy couch, unholy nailpolish, unholy nugget, unholy dog chewy (quite possibly my favorite of them all—it’s a dog toy fit for Cerberus!), unholy Idaho potato (so specific! no other potatoes will do) and an unholy hard drive, among many others.
Smart Bitch Madlibs: Love’s Savage Buckskin
Ha Rom Waah looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious snake attack. His massive, bulging thumb gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive inner thigh, she cringed back.
‘up yours, arse-wipe!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are huckhcukhuck, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Jupiter.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked dashingly.
‘jsfgtbksdl jdrrgjdfg dfjgdfjgds sjgstg ,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample collarbone nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most red thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Ha Rom Waah. It mean ‘broom-who-eat-cat-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘foxglove,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive house you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Ha Rom Waah could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate face in his callused hand and swept her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He loved his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy rhubarb he felt.
Fuuutrugko looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious coyote attack. His massive, bulging thumb gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive brain, she cringed back.
‘Fi fo fuh?!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are Glerk!, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Neptune.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked obsequiosly.
‘sljdhfs sljdhfsl lsjoid dnsjf jdshfk,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample face nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most greasy thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Fuuutrugko. It mean ‘balloon-who-gargled-chicken-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘daisy,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive trampoline you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Fuuutrugko could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate sternum in his callused hand and groped her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He grappled his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy tumbleweed he felt.
Anybody besides me note the preponderance of kneecaps and toes in this madlib? Athough I must confess I wish I had thought of flaming armpits when I was filling in the blanks….
That is the well known effect of people trying very hard not to type “penis” when asked to think of a body part.
Smart Bitch Madlibs: Love’s Savage Buckskin
Tuxelania looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious sidewinder attack. His massive, bulging nose gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive big toe, she cringed back.
‘booty woo!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are hhhrrrrrrwwwwaaakkkk, Woman-With-Hair-Like-venus.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked bubbly.
‘fjfi ee lroltp lglbot ogogo,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample earlobe nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most bulbous thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Tuxelania. It mean ‘gnome-who-swat-parrot-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘lupin,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive grinder you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Tuxelania could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate tongue in his callused hand and blew her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He munched his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy cockroach he felt.
“gnome-who-swat-parrot-in-the-Nuts.”
Best. Name. EVER.
ickyboglimpa looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious coyote attack. His massive, bulging chest gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive tushy, she cringed back.
‘mush me!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are arkhgarfgurgle, Woman-With-Hair-Like-josh wald.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked gracelessly.
‘frlijrgpijagpo2jmgfawjwhgawpojiwf’pjr0gpihW’FPIJAEWOITN CWMJWR[0IE4W0WJER-ERJGPSM:Ppo0pgatiejp’wmpijesagvpokwf-ojwf[kw[e,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample ear nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most wavy thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name ickyboglimpa. It mean ‘cat-who-ride-parakeet-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘daphne,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive lace you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
ickyboglimpa could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate knee in his callused hand and farted her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He rang his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy computer he felt.
The REAL challenge is, who’s gonna take one of these excerpts and write a short story around it?
I now proclaim that if anyone has the balls to do it, and do it as a piece of decent writing, however goofy, I will pub it. We start at 5K and up, and we have a humor section. Full credit to SmartBitches.
Dare ya.
The REAL challenge is, who’s gonna take one of these excerpts and write a short story around it?
I now proclaim that if anyone has the balls to do it, and do it as a piece of decent writing, however goofy, I will pub it. We start at 5K and up, and we have a humor section. Full credit to SmartBitches.
Dare ya.
“I now proclaim that if anyone has the balls to do it, and do it as a piece of decent writing, however goofy, I will pub it. We start at 5K and up, and we have a humor section. Full credit to SmartBitches.”
5K words, or 5K $$? Deadline for submission?
Stef, you know you’re gonna have a deluge of fic now. 🙂
5K words…we’re not officially taking subs as seen on our website, but this will be considered an editor invite. Take a look at our sub guidelines and go for it.
Send ‘em to stef @ extasybooks.com. I’m ready, ya’all.
ROTFLMAO—oh damn, if only I wasn’t on deadline…
…accidentally posted this to the wrong place before. Very sorry ‘bout that…
Eal-o Gar Nuff Wheee looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious Armadillo attack. His massive, bulging head gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive patella, she cringed back.
‘I’m loaded!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are Gerooey, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Black Hole.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked verbally.
‘asdf sdlyty qwek kasdfg,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample elbow nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most tenuous thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Eal-o Gar Nuff Wheee. It mean ‘Flask-who-guffaws-goat-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘Lupin,’she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive shortbread you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Eal-o Gar Nuff Wheee could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate armpit in his callused hand and wrenched her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He tangoed his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy helmet he felt.
…not bad for a first effort, methinks. This entry and its comments were so funny they inspired me to sign up to your truly brilliant site.
Along these lines (and sorry if this is a breach of netiquette, but I’m new to this), has anyone else found examples of alien characters using words in their exotic language to refer to (ahem) genitalia*? I’ve just finished a book (for the moment, its identity may safely continue to conceal itself beneath anonymity’s blushing blanket) that uses this technique to very startling effect, and have a nagging feeling I’ve encountered it before, but can’t recall where.
Not that I have any objections to a decent throbbing manhood, of course, but perhaps at certain times the appropriate alien vocabulary, judiciously used, adds a certain je ne sais quoi to the mysterious extraterrestrial atmosphere?
Happy Monday, all
*Please feel free to substitute something more appropriate here, perhaps “naughty bits†or a word in your favorite alien dialect.
That was cool. Here’s mine.
Ahbahoslinger looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious prairie dog attack. His massive, bulging foot gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive butt, she cringed back.
‘Sucky suck suck!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are Howick, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Moon.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked ridiculously.
‘Aldsf cbsdlzxcvertov,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample stomach nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most mind-numbing thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Ahbahoslinger. It mean ‘Glass-who-Smack-Turtle-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘Daisy,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive unicorn you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Ahbahoslinger could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate ankle in his callused hand and rushed her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He stabbed his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy bitch he felt.
XDDDDD
—
Ahdonotwantthis looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious Bearded Dragon attack. His massive, bulging Toenail gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive third nipple, she cringed back.
‘graaatch lovvvvve Rich-argh!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are Argelbarlegeooomigawd, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Xena.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked throbbingly.
‘uewhdqewi dhewuidh kahfulya efbhuyekbferh,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample “magic stick” nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most penultimate thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Ahdonotwantthis. It mean ‘stomache-who-discourse-German Shepherd-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘corpse flower,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive plunger you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Ahdonotwantthis could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate hair follicle in his callused hand and scratched her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He flushed his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy quantum computer he felt.
…I think I shouldn’t have chosen the nouns I did. XD
Annnnbaghram looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious Skunk attack. His massive, bulging hand gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive nose, she cringed back.
‘Shragh!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are Mruwh, Woman-With-Hair-Like-bod.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked strangely.
‘jhhhlh hgig aiug ihfhh hgf,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample tongue nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most liquify thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Annnnbaghram. It mean ‘desk-who-am writing-cow-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘amarilys,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive stone you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Annnnbaghram could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate eye in his callused hand and did her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He hacked his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy trash he felt.
Dude.
Smart Bitch Madlibs: Love’s Savage Buckskin
Bojomojodo looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious varmint attack. His massive, bulging knuckle gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive rib, she cringed back.
‘Bwuhzuh?!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are Guhhhhwhorppthhh, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Horsehead Nebula.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked frostily.
‘sdlfkjwe sklejrsekrjw slkwrwe ieiehhgn,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample appendix nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most slow thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Bojomojodo. It mean ‘fish-who-marks-sheep-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘Cactus Blossom,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive screensaver you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Bojomojodo could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate pelvic brim in his callused hand and shuffled her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He gawped his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy chess piece he felt.