More madlibs! More fun! This title was inspired by an e-mail E.D’trix sent me. So you can place the blame for this mess squarely on her.
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I’m laughing so hard I’m spitting. Not a pretty sight. This was great fun. Thank you. Here’s my contribution.
Ebola looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious gopher snake attack. His massive, bulging arm gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched.
As he reached out with his massive leg, she cringed back.
‘gurgh!!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are yark, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Uranus.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked stupidly.
’ jkdjfkdjkjk,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample eyeball nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most vomitous thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own.
Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Ebola. It mean ‘manchild-who-swim-ostrich-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘lily,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive birth control pills you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Ebola could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate big toe in his callused hand and deflowered her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He sang his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy supper he felt.
Ladeeda looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious Jackrabbit attack. His massive, bulging arm gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive leg, she cringed back.
‘Bite you, thucka!!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are hack, hack, pop, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Ursa Major.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked madly.
‘sdfhsowlkenrelknr,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample neck nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most outrageous thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Ladeeda. It mean ‘bucket-who-suck-dog-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘peony,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive faucet you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Ladeeda could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate finger in his callused hand and blew her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He ran his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy wagon he felt.
Gotta love madlibs…..
BoDeeDo looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious camel attack. His massive, bulging elbow gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive derriere, she cringed back.
‘you so wahhhh!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are gurk grak blehhhgggg, Woman-With-Hair-Like-comet.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked soft.
‘ihfgjaekrgjnasmdbyuwefnz,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample knee nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most hairy thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name BoDeeDo. It mean ‘book-who-going-guinea pig-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘tulip,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive sofa you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
BoDeeDo could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate penis in his callused hand and spent her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He lost his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy kitchen he felt.
Kwanda looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious dung beetle attack. His massive, bulging nose gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive nipple, she cringed back.
‘Gung!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are Gulg, Woman-With-Hair-Like-moon.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked lustfully.
‘watduhfuk,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample love hole nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most desperately thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Kwanda. It mean ‘love hammer-who-boink-gerbil-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘Dandelion,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive Volkswagon you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Kwanda could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate chin hairs in his callused hand and stroked her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He coughed his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy flatulence he felt.
It’s really just the last sentencethat slayed me.
*
Ramalamadingdong looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious groundhog attack. His massive, bulging elbow gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive nostril, she cringed back.
‘Them’s the breaks!!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are howrack, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Venus.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked stealthily.
‘fgj auiotr rtuasriofja twoithsrthwt awertsrt erter tae ter y awe,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample finger nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most fudgey thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Ramalamadingdong. It mean ‘hat-who-sings-hamster-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘daffodil,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive music you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Ramalamadingdong could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate knuckle in his callused hand and drew her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He rubbed his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy tree he felt.
I think I just died a little.
_____________
Sipainkitagustomo looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious iguana attack. His massive, bulging cocyx gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive elbow, she cringed back.
‘Ha-chachacha!!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are snerkgackhaaack, Woman-With-Hair-Like-asteroid.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked passionately.
‘merid gkodlj gorz,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample areola nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most lascivious thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Sipainkitagustomo. It mean ‘armpit-who-sucks-parrot-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘Cherry Blossom,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive aardvark you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Sipainkitagustomo could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate tongue in his callused hand and bounced her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He mashed his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy concupiscence he felt.
So sweet, so savage, it’s… THE ADVENTURES OF POOBAMATORY!
***
Poobamatory looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious prarie dog attack. His massive, bulging nose gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive elbow, she cringed back.
‘I d-don’t f-fucking s-s-stutter!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are kagghh, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Jupiter.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked swimmingly.
‘dkfjif iweqfowqnf;as ioerfjqwf,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample buttock nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most swirly thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Poobamatory. It mean ‘fence-who-obfuscate-llama-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘Nasturtium,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive pitfall you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Poobamatory could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate ankle in his callused hand and strayed her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He ameliorated his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy nipple he felt.
Almost wet myself
_______________
Klaperakck looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious gopher attack. His massive, bulging thigh gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive ankle, she cringed back.
‘Riiiiiibet man!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are Haarrrkuuumph, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Saint Thomas.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked quickly.
‘jkfiaeoijfaoiejwfiawpejfoiaj,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample nose nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most sulky thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Klaperakck. It mean ‘Paris-who-fuck-rat-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘pussy willow,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive scissors you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Klaperakck could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate knuckle in his callused hand and bashed her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He snogged his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy soap he felt.
I probably should not have filled this out after my skating lesson… I kept putting in all the body parts that hurt right now…
————————
Sholamemslilela looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious prairie chicken attack. His massive, bulging knee gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive achilles tendon, she cringed back.
‘Wet’s wock and woll!!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are Grrrphurl, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Skylab.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked tenderly.
‘jei sjiotg weopj stij atptjiont,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample hip flexor nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most bright thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Sholamemslilela. It mean ‘caffeine-who-limp-kitten-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘tulip,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive blade you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Sholamemslilela could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate ankle in his callused hand and slid her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He fell his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy boot he felt.
Smart Bitch Madlibs: Love’s Savage Buckskin
Gagaholumikinewo looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious kangaroo attack. His massive, bulging big toe gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive left eyebrow, she cringed back.
‘Suck my dick!!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are farts, Woman-With-Hair-Like-asteroid.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked sloppily.
‘dlkfhh ldhf a kjnj oiu bjv,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample liver nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most loverly thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Gagaholumikinewo. It mean ‘book-who-swim-mastiff-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘lily,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive fried chicken you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Gagaholumikinewo could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate penis in his callused hand and ran her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He tie-dyed his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy hand he felt.
I love you guys! It was everything I had hoped, and more…
Ooga-cha-ka looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious Boll Weevil attack. His massive, bulging Buttock gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive Shin, she cringed back.
‘Th-th-th-th-that’s H-h-ho-hoo-hooo… Th-that’s neat-o!!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are Gah-glrrp-rauchh-urggh, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Karl Urban.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked Squishily.
‘shdforh dfetnqo qlretkno wehjtwgbv wwohqwfrbgisd skfghbiwv,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample Pelvis nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most Chapped thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Ooga-cha-ka. It mean ‘Rawhide-who-Suck-Weiner dog-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘Cockleburr,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive Beefsteak you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Ooga-cha-ka could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate Ankle in his callused hand and Protruded her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He Emerged his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy Tomahawk he felt.
Candy said I should post my test madlib from last night. So enjoy:
Mamase Mamasa Mamakusa looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious emu attack. His massive, bulging elbow gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive finger, she cringed back.
‘Shibby!!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are GLUORP, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Fabio.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked lightly.
‘akjfdsl;a fdjosfjdskal ;fdjasklowvcksdal;fjfiognnrjvnfckowdxqmkxqw[,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample toe nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most hard thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Mamase Mamasa Mamakusa. It mean ‘book-who-eats-dog-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘Marigold,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive ring you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Mamase Mamasa Mamakusa could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate armpit in his callused hand and shoved her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He pumped his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy hymen he felt.
Fertgtdremgt looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious gila monster attack. His massive, bulging manhood gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive knee, she cringed back.
‘Thit!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are ralph, Woman-With-Hair-Like-venue.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked passionately.
‘etw dtr tewdmf eigtetdr,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample nub nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most throbbing thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Fertgtdremgt. It mean ‘chair-who-blooms-horse-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘hollyhock,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive table you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Fertgtdremgt could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate hand in his callused hand and rubbed her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He thrusted his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy sofa he felt.
God, I love a hero with an impressive table. 🙂
Dohdecacauldron looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious Bison attack. His massive, bulging tail gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive horn, she cringed back.
‘You have to love me!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are khacknorf, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Vega.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked eerily.
‘erufljs kdfhe rfhdflfu ghdkl fgu,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample toenail nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most green thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Dohdecacauldron. It mean ‘table-who-eating-kitty-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘Aster,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive book you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Dohdecacauldron could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate knee in his callused hand and ate her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He mashed his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy speaker he felt.
X
SO FUN!
Buwhanawikiki looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious Gecko attack. His massive, bulging Nose hair gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive Left big toe, she cringed back.
‘Lay it down like pea-nut buttah!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are schluh-schluh-schluh-schluh, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Antonio Banderas.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked rakeishly.
‘dofgo ifgowie,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample chin nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most squishy thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Buwhanawikiki. It mean ‘avocado-who-scream-husband-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘lily,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive jumping bean you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Buwhanawikiki could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate big blue wrist vein in his callused hand and slurped her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He boogied his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy pillbox hat he felt.
Juyngrt looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious camel attack. His massive, bulging nose gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive ankle, she cringed back.
‘slow slorry!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are pphhhtttttt, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Venus.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked hurriedly.
‘as;tkjasg iahsepighasdg ashtgapsdghapt sthnsaghasghna;s,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample elbow nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most golden thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Juyngrt. It mean ‘calendar-who-walk-dog-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘lily,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive lotion you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Juyngrt could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate toe in his callused hand and slept her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He ran his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy phone he felt.
Jaymontiwalkblue looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious jackrabbit attack. His massive, bulging elbow gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive big toe, she cringed back.
‘Thwack my Thwonker!!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are warble, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Hugh Jackman.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked expediently.
‘dfjdkj fjie dkjeoi wshso,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample tongue nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most grainy thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Jaymontiwalkblue. It mean ‘burp-who-ralphed-gerbil-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘Lilly,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive book you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Jaymontiwalkblue could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate spine in his callused hand and skipped her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He laughed his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy butter he felt.
Oh, gawd. Thank you Bitches. Such a bad day at work, such a perfect way to take a well deserved break.
-T
———-
Aaskd looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious prairie dog attack. His massive, bulging pinky toe gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive mouth, she cringed back.
‘Fu-u-u-u-ucccccccck!!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are Ca-hurl-cack, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Venus.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked wetly.
‘sajdfklsdjfsklfj,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample hand nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most sternly thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Aaskd. It mean ‘lamp-who-run-donkey-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘daisy,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive book you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Aaskd could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate ass in his callused hand and dribbled her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He slid his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy flower he felt.
Bam used one of my favorite words ever:
concupiscence
Hoo Ray Bam!
Lay it down like pea-nut buttah, baby!
Joyce
Oh, man, I nearly peed from laughing!
————
Ra-haw-Woowo! looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious sage hen attack. His massive, bulging uvula gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive appendix, she cringed back.
‘Rock this swiss cheese, skanky ho!!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are Arooo-ha-wahili-crabapple tart!, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Uranus.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked meat-tenderizingly.
‘Rf DRJGkjdjj wojfaw oj j,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample buttock nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most crab-like thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Ra-haw-Woowo!. It mean ‘marmoset-who-flaggelate-ferret-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘California poppy,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive juniper you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Ra-haw-Woowo! could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate armpit in his callused hand and evacuated her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He unplugged his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy nugget he felt.
————-
You have brought madlibs into my unholy day. Bless you!
Corelfdistray looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious hyena attack. His massive, bulging shoulder gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive ring finger, she cringed back.
‘Ashmooooo!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are milf milf milf, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Angelina Jolie.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked squirrely.
‘wiesajaa,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample forearm nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most brownish thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Corelfdistray. It mean ‘destiny-who-hauling-cat-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘alyssum,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive toothpick you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Corelfdistray could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate toenail in his callused hand and tested her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He prophesied his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy tick he felt.
Oh my God.
I am NOT getting any work done today. I can’t stop reloading the page in the hopes that someone will have posted new mad libs. And then I’m busy biting my lip or hiding my face against the desk because I don’t want clue everyone else in the office as to how much I’m fucking off right now.
Lojomatinata looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious Sand People attack. His massive, bulging groin gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive earlobe, she cringed back.
‘Wokka Wokka Wokka’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are hornk hornk hornk, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Uranus.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked blindingly.
‘Ldinglskghspiuehwsibkasjcbapkbrpah,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample kneecap nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most lascivious thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Lojomatinata. It mean ‘dog spittle-who-spanks-golden retriever-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘Clematis,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive kemosabe you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Lojomatinata could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate ring finger in his callused hand and ate her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He mashed his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy gas he felt.
Someone just came by my desk and asked if I was okay. I’m in tears, I’m laughing so hard.
😆
Dohuhwhaaa looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious prairie dog attack. His massive, bulging nose gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive tongue, she cringed back.
‘Iwikebeeshs.!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are hork-hork-hork, Woman-With-Hair-Like-cloud.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked hurriedly.
‘lksjd foie moiwed ,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample belly button nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most tall thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Dohuhwhaaa. It mean ‘balloon-who-sit-ox-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘gladiolus,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive telephone you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Dohuhwhaaa could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate elbow in his callused hand and sank her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He typed his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy earring he felt.
Izlakasho looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious camel attack. His massive, bulging chin gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive foot, she cringed back.
‘Kith my ath!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are hcckkkk, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Orion’s Belt.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked heatedly.
‘dlgoaenv aslkio erelaqfnvla fzdsdfk,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample ass nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most grand thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Izlakasho. It mean ‘car-who-licking-cat-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘rosa rugosa,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive hose you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Izlakasho could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate ear in his callused hand and screwed her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He wept his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy heart he felt.
*rofl* god, I love these
——
Gahfigtan looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious buffalo attack. His massive, bulging knuckle gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive ankle, she cringed back.
‘Corndogs!!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are Pheeeewww, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Uranus.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked fuckily.
‘dkali laeik klvihga k aid,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample big toe nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most madly thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Gahfigtan. It mean ‘paper-who-busts-cow-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘petunia,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive tissue you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Gahfigtan could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate nipple in his callused hand and ate her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He vomited his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy box he felt.
Teeth spilling out of a bodice? Now, that would make for a fun cover.
Questoferroneltuopettosinoallelsaiovopiantar looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious mustang attack. His massive, bulging arm gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive toe, she cringed back.
‘äh, it’s äh, you know, äh!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are eeewkhuff, Woman-With-Hair-Like-fallen angel.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked conspiciously.
‘himmiherrgottzerfixhallelujah,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample teeth nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most fastidious thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Questoferroneltuopettosinoallelsaiovopiantar. It mean ‘flower-who-sings-horse-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘petunia,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive village you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Questoferroneltuopettosinoallelsaiovopiantar could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate hair in his callused hand and kicked her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He jumped his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy sky he felt.
I’ve never commented before, but I just can’t resist this. My poor sister just had quite a bit of a scare, finding me wheezing alarmingly and helplessly pointing to the screen. Too, too funny!
Here’s mine:
Jeovicamio looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious fennek attack. His massive, bulging lips gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive eyes, she cringed back.
‘Got any bennies?!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are shlurpshgoorrrrrrrrchrork, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Altair.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked luridly.
‘sidvcosnvois v nsvnsov nosv svdsvnbsuvsnbdovnsdövjsd vksv sdvs vi vs vs vsdj ,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample thumb nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most raw thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Jeovicamio. It mean ‘sherbet-who-trifle-hog-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘Geranium,’ she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive floodgate you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Jeovicamio could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate kneecap in his callused hand and left her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He smooched his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy government he felt.
Lol, if you know what goes where, you can even come up with something that makes for a Sword and Sorcery parody:
Agantyr looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious bison attack. His massive, bulging torso gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive arm, she cringed back.
‘No, don’t, ye ken, don’t have fear!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are bootiful, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Brynhild.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked timidly.
‘egentligen snakker jeg bare norsk,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample bosom nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most lustful thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Agantyr. It mean ‘bear-who-kicks-ox-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘White Rose,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive friend you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Agantyr could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate face in his callused hand and drew her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He laved his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy fire he felt.
Ketypz looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious coyote attack. His massive, bulging head gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive foot, she cringed back.
‘zowza!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are grwff, Woman-With-Hair-Like-comet.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked laughingly.
‘lkdjf iowtf 98yu98u-jf jhh,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample elbow nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most shining thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Ketypz. It mean ‘elephant-who-run-hamster-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘zinnia,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive table you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Ketypz could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate knee in his callused hand and jumped her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He collapsed his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy book he felt.
There are a few good ones here ;o)
Cogyniscation looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious fire ant attack. His massive, bulging decolletage gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive aureola, she cringed back.
‘bebeb’ bodacious!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are rralf hhralf rrraak, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Moon.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked swimmingly.
‘lsf dfkkr rirfv vhbnr fsfsflhu fd irjgitt kfd llrv,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample frenum nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most slick thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Cogyniscation. It mean ‘love bead-who-hork-sheep-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘hibiscus,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive cock ring you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Cogyniscation could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate splenic flexure in his callused hand and evacuated her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He eviscerated his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy satisfaction he felt.
Gaah…cannot…breathe…help.
I’m laughing so hard I’m snorting. My kids are shooting me the most incredible looks. I’m going to need a Depends before this is over.
****
Lolagif looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious prairie dog attack. His massive, bulging thumb gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive duodenum, she cringed back.
‘Whath thup?!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are gaaaahaaaaccckkk, Woman-With-Hair-Like-ursa major.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked masterfully.
‘fnj kenk lwah frealrjh,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample stomach nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most skanky thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Lolagif. It mean ‘boat-who-whines-gerbil-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘wisteria,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive tent you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Lolagif could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate nostril in his callused hand and hurled her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He ravaged his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy volcano he felt.
His massive, bulging decolletage gleamed in the sun
OMG that’s a severe case of Man Tittie. Teh horror. :snake:
Kamakamalophogus looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious camel attack. His massive, bulging kneecap gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive armpit, she cringed back.
‘Fushtit!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are schrawns, Woman-With-Hair-Like-black hole.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked suppressively.
’ ohfroghf fojdf ,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample toenail nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most sugary thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Kamakamalophogus. It mean ‘jewelry-box-who-scratch-gerbil-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘hydrangea,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive duvet you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Kamakamalophogus could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate earlobe in his callused hand and transmogrified her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He chewed his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy picture frame he felt.
“As he reached out with his massive, flaming armpit”…
Oh, God. Help me. I think I just wet myself and hurt something at the same time.
“Smart Bitches Romance Mad Libs: More Fun Than Man-Titty!”
Damn fine fun, this…
Farquamalmor looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious iguana attack. His massive, bulging thumb gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive armpit, she cringed back.
‘thnerkle-piss!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are hyek-hyek-hyek, Woman-With-Hair-Like-xena.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked tidily.
‘hoien jhahhghn loilnkl,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample kneecap nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most rumpled thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Farquamalmor. It mean ‘teddy bear-who-nuzzles-hamster-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘rhododendron,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive flypaper you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Farquamalmor could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate knuckle in his callused hand and slid her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He thumped his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy squeegee he felt.
Anybody besides me note the preponderance of kneecaps and toes in this madlib? Athough I must confess I wish I had thought of flaming armpits when I was filling in the blanks….
Amkaron looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious fox attack. His massive, bulging knee gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive shoulder, she cringed back.
‘Want a peppermint drop/!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are urg urg urg, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Venus.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked quickly.
‘poiu lkj qerw qer ,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample Toe nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most bright thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Amkaron. It mean ‘desk-who-run-horse-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘phlox,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive shoe you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Amkaron could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate hip in his callused hand and threw her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He remarked his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy rope he felt.
Goblooglug looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious buffalo attack. His massive, bulging arm gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive eyelash, she cringed back.
‘Bluh!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are blurp, Woman-With-Hair-Like-star.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked happily.
‘adfkjd e dfjkd iperq aa dddpadfkeqqc lllp,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample ankle nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most tired thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Goblooglug. It mean ‘butterfly-who-laugh-parakeet-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘gardenia,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive monitor you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Goblooglug could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate tooth in his callused hand and drove her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He read his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy sandwich he felt.
OK, I coded this game, so it’s not quite fair for me to play, but I came up with something close to this yesterday while test-driving this puppy, and I had to share. Richard Gere’s shaved gerbil made me do it.
——
Hanahaklihaahaa looked down at the beautiful woman he had just rescued from a vicious kangaroo rat attack. His massive, bulging thyroid gland gleamed in the sun, and his long black hair whipped back in the wind. Her own flaxen hair taunted him, the flaming silken tresses begging to be touched. As he reached out with his massive dimpled asscheeks, she cringed back.
‘Mooooooof!’ he cried out. ‘That mean, do not be afraid. You are Hrrrrk brrrk hork hork braaaachhh, Woman-With-Hair-Like-Christian Bale.’
The woman gasped. ‘You know English?’ she asked ecstatically.
‘sfuigh whg pqhjgl oifal,’ he replied. ‘Yes, some.’
He looked down at her. Her ample medulla oblongata nearly spilled out of her bodice, and her beestung lips inspired the most stank-a-licious thoughts in him. She was so pretty, so helpless. She would never survive out here on her own. Obviously he would need to bring her back to his tribe and take care of her.
‘My name Hanahaklihaahaa. It mean ‘window treatment-who-spanked-Richard Gere’s shaved gerbil-in-the-Nuts.’ What your name?’
‘Venus Flytrap,‘she whispered. ‘That’s a very impressive marker pen you have there. So long. So… sensual.’
Hanahaklihaahaa could not stand it any longer. He grabbed her tiny, delicate dumps like a truck, truck, truck in his callused hand and orgasmed her up, bringing her flush against his aroused body. His manhood stood hard and at the ready. Why did this paleskinned woman have this effect on him? He belched his mouth down against hers in savage desperation, knowing that only she could slake the unholy styrofoam he felt.