It’s the hardest thing, I think, for a writer to wiggle her way out of – what do you do when your character is caught between desiring two different people?
If you write erotica, it’s Menage A Trois time, baby! But if not, what do you do, knowing that a good portion of your readership might be rooting for the other person once your character makes a choice? I used to read this series of YA novels – Sunfire! That’s what they were called. Thanks Google! – in middle school, the ones where the title was the chick’s name and they were all set against some event of historical significance – the one I remember best was set against the Johnstown Flood in Pennsylvania, which, if you haven’t heard about it, is about the most awful train wreck of an event to hit a town ever. The heroine of these books was almost always caught between two men, but the authors would set up the plot such that you knew the heroine would choose the one who wanted her to be true to herself as opposed to the one who wanted her to conform to existing societal expectations.
But what about triangles that are hard to break? Here are a handful of existing triangles and what I think (and what Candy thinks of the ones she knows about). Feel free to add and offer your opinion!
Archie Andrews/Betty Cooper/Veronica Lodge (comics) – I say he should have picked Betty. Veronica would always have been tied down by her father’s money and would never have really appreciated Archie. Betty, meanwhile, would have to grow a backbone before she was worthy of being half of a partnership. Otherwise she’d just worship Archie and that’d get old.
Dylan/Brenda/Kelly (90210) – I say Dylan/Kelly, because Brenda was a demanding, whiny beyotch.
Stephanie Plum/Ranger/Morelli – Morelli – hands down. I like Ranger and I think he’s hot, but Morelli, *sigh*. I have a huge weakness for how much he adores Stephanie and how much he wishes he didn’t.
Buffy/Spike/Angel – I liked Spike. Angel was too broody and marshmallowy for me, even as he was twisting heads off shoulders.
Note: Candy suggested Anita Blake and the triangle that existed earlier in the series, but since Anita started picking up powers like “charms on a charm bracelet” (TM JenFu) and by doing so started humping anything that moved – nice way out of a triangle, I must say.
Annie/Crash/Nuke (Bull Durham) – This one existed nicely through a state of imbalance between Nuke and Annie as she knew more than he did, but he was destined to move out of the minors while Crash knew that he wouldn’t ever return to a major league roster. So in the end you knew Crash and Annie would end up together, but the interplay of jealousy in the beginning of the movie? Rwor!
Candy’s Turn!
Aragorn/Arwen/Eowyn – OK, movie version or book version? Movie version: GODDAMN I found Liv Tyler and her anemic, whispery, breathy lisping so fucking annoying. Whereas Viggo as Aragorn? Motherfucking hotttttttt. And Eowyn kicked ass. She was pretty hot, too. They would’ve made hot asskicking babies together, plus the chances of Aragorn’s offspring inheriting a speech impediment that would’ve made them sound like a high camp queen on Valium are much, much lower with Eowyn.
Book version, Arwen was the only way to go. And really, the book version of Aragorn had some serious Stick Up The Ass Syndrome—anyone remember his totally ridiculous declamation about being the last of the Dunedain and lo, behold the broken sword that is made whole again and yadda yadda yadda when he first meets the Rohirrim? I mean, DUDE, if I were one of the Rohirrim, I would’ve gone RAR! and totally run him through before he’d gotten, like, a third of that damn speech out of his mouth just to shut him the hell up. I liked Eowyn in the book too much to saddle her with Aragorn. Plus she ended up with Faramir, who was also pretty cool.
Archie Andrews/Betty Cooper/Veronica Lodge (comics) – Fuck Archie. Betty and Veronica should totally get it on. ‘Cause the two of them? They’re pretty hot. Archie? Goofy, not all that good-looking, not all that bright and kind of an asshole sometimes.
Dylan/Brenda/Kelly (90210) – Eh, I don’t care. Personally, I think all three of them deserved to die in an fiery crash as just punishment for inflicting the plague of 90210 upon us. Because seriously? That show drove me batshit bonkers. A plague on both their houses!
Buffy/Spike/Angel – I’ve only seen three episodes of Buffy, but I gotta say: I like Spike better. Angel’s just a bit too mopey for my tastes. But hey, he’s the one who got his own spinoff….
But in the very end of the finale, isn’t there a hint that Buffy and Xander will hold hands into the happily ever after? He’d be very good for her, especially after the growth experience of Anya.
I have a friend who is writing a paper for a conference on the myriad ways in which Anya was the Shakespearean Fool of the show, and how her character was meant to cause growth in all the others, but was not meant to have a HEA of her own. And that’s pretty much what happened, too.
But Buffy/Xander? It’s so interesting how I am totally ok with them in the hypothetical of my imagination, but if I had to see it acted out in real life? BORING.
I would be totally okay with Buffy and Xander. I loved Xander. (MUCH cuter than Spike and Angel rolled together.)
Because if you think about it, Xander was what Buffy needed in her life: relatively stable, strong, knows all her quirks.
It wouldn’t have been the big drama that Buffy and Spike had, but as a resolution to the story? Hell yeah!
A brief weigh-in on the Richard/Jean Claude/Anita issue. Long before all possible sexual tension was sucked out of the series I had decided Richard is the biggest bitch to ever hit paper. Any man who can’t stop hating himself enough to quit picking fights isn’t worth it.
Man it makes me sad to even think about those books. At one time I think they rated as my favorite series. Now every time we finish the new one (hardback, I’m a sucker even now) we say ‘that’s it we’re buying one more, and if it’s more of that relationship rehash/ho-down shit we’re not buying any more!’
If I ever read Anita saying something (and by something I mean multi-prong action) just flat does it for her again, I really am outta there.
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I’m a total Spike lover. Evil Spike is of course better than tame spike, but they’re both smartass, and they both have lean muscles, which I am a sucker for all day long.
Sex Dwarf
Isn’t it nice
Luring disco dollies (and elves) to a life of vice
Ya’ll are killing me *tears running down face, can’t stop laughing* and I think I’m in love with Doug!
I gotta say, Morelli, Spike, Boramir (forget Aragorn!) . . .RWORRRR!
And, yeah, the Laurell K. Hamilton books have degenerated into the most boring gang bang of all time. How can that much sex be so boring? Maybe it has something to do with the fact that it all seems to be taking place in 1983 (I can’t help but picture Nagel prints in Jean Claude’s black leather subterranean lair).
*am expiring with laughter thinking of Jean-Claude contemplating Nagel prints…*
Okay, visually, I’d have to say Spike/Buffy/Angel 3some. ‘Cause, ‘damn that’s a lot of hot manflesh. And I just imagine Buffy = me and be thrilled.
If I have to pick a pair, Buffy/Angel. Spike was BAD for Buffy, even if she was good for him (in some ways). And since we’ve found out that Angel can withstand sex w/o going evil, I say Buffy/Angel. They both deserve the happiness they can bring each other. The one day where Angel was human was just great and if he’d gotten to keep his vamp powers, so good. And Angel loves Buffy, Spike loved the idea of Buffy.
Can you tell I have an opinion?
And RE: Xander/Buffy
Xander would be a good choice, except that Buffy needs excitment in her life and Xander just isn’t that. He’s dependable and that’s keen, but it isn’t HAWT.
Buffy/Angel/Spike
Angel and Spike, mano-y-mano….er…come on, even Buffy saw the appeal in that, threatening to get them to wrestle it out (“there could be oil of some kind…”). Well, I’m already truly outed as a Spuffy girl so I’m sticking with ‘em.
Dawson/Joey/Pacy
Joey and Pacy. Yeah, I keep picking the losers. I know.
Darney/Lucie/Carton (Tale of Two Cities)
Lucie, Lucie, Lucie. You’re a fool. Yes, Darney is a Good Man who wears his nobleness on his sleeve and he’s posh etc etc but Sidney is just as good beneath the booze and stuff.
I picked another loser.
Daphne/Fred/Wilma
Hmmm….dunno…
While I don’t get the “Tolkien doesn’t like women” claim—I’d say he couldn’t depict them well, they all seemed to be paragons of incredible virtue in LOTR—I did nearly throw the book away when I saw Arwen traipsing in to marry Aragorn at the end. Especially since I couldn’t even remember who she was. It took reading the Appendices to satisfy my quibbles on that issue.
I didn’t care for Galadriel much until Silmarillion where she’s somewhat more interesting.
*takes off Tolkien Geek Beanie Cap*
Anita Blake is now the “Queen Slut of the Preternatural Valley” and if she didn’t have to give up whatever brains and character she had to attain this lofty title, I wouldn’t mind it so much. Not even my yen for Jean Claude could make me continue to purchase that series.
Dawson/Joey/Pacy
Joey and Pacy. Yeah, I keep picking the losers. I know.
But Pacey didn’t lose, Joey picked him in the finale. That was a satisfying end to triangle, indeed. Um, not that I watched it.
Just when you think the series couldn’t get any worse, it’s time for a new Anita Blake book.
Hamilton used to tell a good story but, now, reading one of her books is akin to listening to a wasted friend talk about how she boinked the high school football team. Ramble, ramble, ramble, tangent, and then a sex scene. I like a good sex scene but hers go on for CHapters. I don’t have the stamina for that. I guess I’m getting older.
Which hasn’t stopped me from reading the series over and over again. I’m a glutton for punishment.
But I think I might really be done with it this time. No, really.
Ok, I’m am probably going to read “Micah” but then I am done.
As for favorite triangles, I have always been partial to the Francesca Cahill/Rick Bragg/Calder Hart triangle in Brenda Joyce’s “Deadly” series.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anita Blake boinks multiples of anything that sucks blood, goes furry, and/or who worships her, all with astonishing regularity.
Go her. More power to you, chiquita. It’s a good life if’n you can get it.
[And I TOTALLY agree about Richard being the biggest bitch on paper. I just wanna (and sometimes do) scream “YOU’RE FURRY! GET THE HELL OVER YOURSELF, YA LILY-SUCKING HOMOPHOBIC WHINER!” – I mean, REALLY, Richard. Shut yer yap already.]
But it is STILL so strangely addictive to read those damn books. And now I’m hooked on the Merry Gentrys, too.
Regarding the Beauty books, those were probably the most FUBAR porn-on-paper that I’ve ever read. Ever. And I read a LOT! It was the horse tail anal dildos that corked (*snerk*) that whole series for me. I think I’m scarred for life after reading those…
But I digress.
I really post this to protest the lack of Rangerlust I’m seeing. If there’s gonna be ANY locking-in-the-room-with-Ranger, count my ass IN! Hot cars, hot clothes, hot soap for fuck’s sake, and combat boots. I’ll be in the loft with Rangerman. Please ignore any “Oh God YES”-es or moaning/groaning/multiple orgasming you hear. I’m sure I’ll be fine.
But Pacey didn’t lose, Joey picked him in the finale. That was a satisfying end to triangle, indeed. Um, not that I watched it.
I have to admit to having given up on DC after they left school. But, yay! Pacy!
I just have an ability to pick the guy who is portrayed as the less suitable chap (even once he has a soul Spike is a dubious piece of work and no-one should pick Carton).
All of you trying to pair up Middle Earth REALLY need to read Cassandra Claire’s “The Very Secret Diaries.” All the men in the story are homoerotic except for Frodo, who’s blissfully unaware of the feelings he evokes in everyone around him. But hey, Sam will kill them if they try anything. Check ‘em out here: http://www.ealasaid.com/misc/vsd/
OK, first, those Sunfire books. I LOVED them. I eventually gave most of them away, but I kept a few for sentimental reasons. Not sure where they are, though. Anyway, my favorite was Cassie, and yes, it unfolds just as you mention. She picks the man who will let her be herself.
Thanks for mentioning this series. It brings back good memories. Yes, the books were dorky, but I enjoyed them very much at the time.
I’d throw Legolas in, too, but only after he cuts off that Pantene-spokesman-for-Middle-Eart hair.
WHAT? I fantasize about brushing that hair. LOL!
I’m pleased to see a few people who don’t like the Buffy/Spike pairing. It never did work for me.
Lol, I prefer to brush Eomer’s hair. There’s such a lot of it, and so nicely tangled.
Heh. On Aragorn/Arwen/Eowyn, I must admit (with both pride and shame) that I am enough of a LOTR geek that I read all the “History of the Lord of the Rings” books, where Christopher Tolkien dragged out all of dad’s early drafts and letters and reconstructed the development of the story, and recall vividly that JRR originally intended Eowyn and Aragorn to end up together, but in the end decided against it because Aragorn was too much of an old, stick-up-his butt fart for such a vibrant young woman.
This is before Aragorn was played by an uber-hot (if grimy) Viggo Mortenson, which changes the equation a bit. Peter Jackson also deliberately played up the Aragorn/Eowyn dynamics to give the triangle a little more zest – in the books, Aragorn & Eowyn’s interaction feels much more distant.
I’m obviously YEARs late commenting, but I never knew there was a sunfire for Johnstown!! Thank you, you just made my day. I was born in Johnstown, and loved those romances when I was a preteen. I’ve got to track down a copy for myself.