Hey, kids, here’s a fun game for everyone: Love scene mad libs! First up is a scorching-hot Regency love story I’ve entitled “A Dark and Stormy Tryst.” Fill in the blanks, hit that button and have fun. Results will pop up in a new window; feel free to copy and paste your results in the comments.
I demand this as a regular feature!
It was a dark and humid night at Pinto-Buffalo Gun Manor. Lord Pinto-Buffalo Gun’s gaze scoured the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She medicated in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he squealed.
‘Moronica,’ she grunted. Her limpid tropical cerulean eyes clung to his face like a persistent eel, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his duodenum. It may have been shingles, but he doubted it. The finest trollops in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the ancient jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby nostrils.
‘Well, Moronica,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She snarled in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she whirled away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… yellow squash I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-salami!’
‘Quid Pro Quo,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
This is dangerously addictive:
Smart Bitch Madlibs: A Dark and Stormy Tryst
It was a dark and humid night at Norwegian Fjord-Gatling Manor. Lord Norwegian Fjord-Gatling’s gaze kicked the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She sniffed in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he yuuuurped.
‘Snickerdoodle,’ she squeed. Her limpid frostbite blue eyes clung to his face like a persistent sea horse, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his pancreas. It may have been mad cow disease, but he doubted it. The finest hags in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the lanky jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby knees.
‘Well, Snickerdoodle,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She peeheeheeed in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she turned away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… potato I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-jerky!’
‘Feles mala!,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
Yuck!
__________
It was a dark and gloomy night at Mustang-Browning Manor. Lord Mustang-Browning’s gaze scoured the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She shivered in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he snarled.
‘Pookie,’ she squeaked. Her limpid aquamarine eyes clung to his face like a persistent jellyfish, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his Liver. It may have been bird flu, but he doubted it. The finest skanks in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the sultry jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby nipples.
‘Well, Pookie,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She groaned in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she licked away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… zucchini I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-sausage!’
‘Asinus asinum fricat,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
Smart Bitch Madlibs: A Dark and Stormy Tryst
It was a dark and blustery night at Morgan-Magnum Manor. Lord Morgan-Magnum’s gaze danced the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She tasted in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he howled.
‘Sweetiepie,’ she squealed. Her limpid cerulean eyes clung to his face like a persistent mollusk, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his liver. It may have been psoriasis, but he doubted it. The finest cunts in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the smooth jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby elbows.
‘Well, Sweetiepie,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She giggled in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she twisted away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… rutabega I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-Deviled ham!’
‘Abusus non tollit usum,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
Man-Spam. Hee hee.
deviled ham. that’s fab. 🙂
It was a dark and sultry night at Morgan-Glock Manor. Lord Morgan-Glock’s gaze came the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She limped in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he growled.
‘Casey,’ she squeached. Her limpid cerulean eyes clung to his face like a persistent jellyfish, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his liver. It may have been vaginitis, but he doubted it. The finest cunts in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the vapid jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby wrists.
‘Well, Casey,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She Jesused in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she ran away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… cauliflower I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-salami!’
‘ad infinitum ad absurdem,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
Well, that was interesting—particularly with a washing cat in front of the monitor…time for their dinner.
I know my spelling (and probably Latin) is rough, but so it goes.
It was a dark and steamy night at roan-blazer Manor. Lord roan-blazer’s gaze crashed the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She explodes in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he Aaahrg.
‘Diva,’ she Grrwoulf. Her limpid ceruleun eyes clung to his face like a persistent scallop, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his shoulder. It may have been measles, but he doubted it. The finest cats in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the deep jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby hands.
‘Well, Diva,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She Mmmmhrrr. in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she rocked away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… carrot I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-chop!’
‘moritori te salutat,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
It was a dark and wintry night at Hanoverian-Winchester Manor. Lord Hanoverian-Winchester’s gaze covered the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She quaked in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he groaned.
‘Muffy,’ she breathed. Her limpid celadon eyes clung to his face like a persistent sea anemone, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his liver. It may have been hemophilia, but he doubted it. The finest coozie hussy bitches in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the slutty jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby earlobes.
‘Well, Muffy,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She groaned in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she tore away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… zucchini I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-spam!’
‘Morituri te salutamus,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
It was a dark and snowy night at Palomino-Remington Manor. Lord Palomino-Remington’s gaze shook the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She shone in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he growled.
‘Sweetums,’ she screamed. Her limpid cornflower eyes clung to his face like a persistent starfish, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his liver. It may have been shingles, but he doubted it. The finest sluts in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the wonderful jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby toes.
‘Well, Sweetums,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She moaned in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she ran away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… turnip I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-bologna!’
‘Carpe Diem,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
It was a dark and chilly night at palomino-Colt 45 Manor. Lord palomino-Colt 45’s gaze dreaded the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She choked in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he growled.
‘Lady Fu Fu,’ she gurgled. Her limpid cerulean sky eyes clung to his face like a persistent eel, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his spleen. It may have been skurvy, but he doubted it. The finest bitches in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the young jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby legs.
‘Well, Lady Fu Fu,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She ‘what-the-fucked’ in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she gloried away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… carrot I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-potted meat!’
‘Vini, vidi, vinci,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
After I posted mine I read everyone else’s; I now believe I’ll never see “cerulean” in the same way again!
It was a dark and cloudy night at Palomino-Remington Manor. Lord Palomino-Remington’s gaze ruminated the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She hiccuped in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he yowled.
‘Poopsie,’ she squirped. Her limpid summer lilac eyes clung to his face like a persistent Bill Frist, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his lung. It may have been the Black Death, but he doubted it. The finest skanks in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the fluffy jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby toes.
‘Well, Poopsie,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She gigglesnorted in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she ran away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… asparagus I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-bologna slice!’
‘Illegitimi non carborundum,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
It truly is dulce and decorum to mori for some man-spam.
It was a dark and gusty night at Palomino-musket Manor. Lord Palomino-musket’s gaze squatted the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She laughed in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he Phnawrged.
‘kitty,’ she snreeeeked. Her limpid cerulean eyes clung to his face like a persistent jellyfish, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his lung. It may have been Lyme’s disease, but he doubted it. The finest skanks in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the tangly jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby necks.
‘Well, kitty,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She whrooooed in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she clanged away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… rhubarb I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-spam!’
‘dolce et decorum est pro patria mori,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.
Just too much fun. Brilliant.
Smart Bitch Madlibs: A Dark and Stormy Tryst
It was a dark and dreary night at Thoroughbred-Colt Manor. Lord Thoroughbred-Colt’s gaze licked the slim body of the nubile young chit who stood before him. She trembled in trepidation.
‘What is your name, little one?’ he growled.
‘Sweetie,’ she squealed. Her limpid azure eyes clung to his face like a persistent sea cucumber, soft yet stinging.
As he gazed at her, a burning sensation shot from his groin to his heart. It may have been herpes, but he doubted it. The finest cunts in the land had tried their wiles on him, but all had failed. He was far too cynical about women after seeing his mother betray his father time after time again, the floppy jade. But this girl’s innocence touched him in unexpected ways. His gaze dropped to her pouting ruby breasts.
‘Well, Sweetie,’ he sneered, ‘I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for!’ With those words, his hands shot out and pulled her to him. She squeaked in dismay, but her protest soon turned into sighs of pleasure as he ravaged her soft, unpracticed mouth. He ground his hard, aroused body against her hips. He heard her give a shocked gasp, and she sucked away from his grasp.
‘My lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘Was that your manly… carrot I felt?’ She blushed furiously. ‘I’m afraid that was most improper of you!’
‘Oh my dear,’ he purred, ‘Before the night is through, you will do a lot more than feel the potency of my man-sausage!’
‘Amor animi arbitrio sumitur, non ponitur,’ she cried, before he covered her mouth yet again and overwhelmed her qualms with a melting kiss.