I mentioned in a comment how much the overly-beefed heroes pictured on book covers bother me, especially when the hero is described inside as lithe, slender, and not at all ‘roided and ripped within an inch of his life. I like to think the heroes of the books I read can straighten their arms with ease, and aren’t walking around with bow-flexed biceps and triceps that keep their arms in a permanent “Ugga eat. Ugga sleep. Ugga get woman!” position.
So who do I picture when I read these books? A much-taller Hugh Grant who is not so almighty twitchy. Colin Firth. Hugh Jackman. That really hot dude from the Weather Channel. It depends on the setting but I’m almost never thinking of Fabio when I read.
What about you? Who is on your list of mental heroes?
It depends on what set of DVDs is sitting on top of my player. If I’m indulging in a West Wing binge, I might picture any given hero as a Sam Seaborn/Rob Lowe clone, or a Josh Lyman/Brad Whitford twin. If I’m viewing back-to-back Law & Order: Criminal Intent eps, then every hero is Bobby Goren, even if he isn’t the brightest bulb in the box.
Unless and until Aaron Sorkin, John Wells or some other uber-genius screenwriter comes up with some riveting pilot for Fabio, he probably won’t make my list.
I like the Irish Soccer coach from Bend it Like Beckham, think his name is Jonathan Rhys Davies, Ioan Gryfudd, David Wenham, and for little British upper crust flava, Jude Law. Mmmmmmm….. (what? No drool smiley?)
Sometimes I like a little Alan Rickman. Sometimes I like that guy who was in Ever After with Drew Barrymore and then played the bad guy in the second Mission Impossible, I’m blanking on his name but he is very much what I imagined Lord Darcy and any other lithe hero to look like.
Cripes. Now I need both caffeine and a memory supplement…
The heroes in my head (the ones I read about, and the ones I write) look nothing like anyone in real life. Seriously. And it pisses me off when authors deliberately try to note how similar their hero looks to an actor within the book, because chances are high I’ll think the actor looks like shit on a stick. I remember one time an author mentioning a hero’s resemblance to someone I actually found repulsive—I think it was Kevin Costner, but it might’ve been Patrick Swayze—and I just about gagged. Ruined the fantasy.
BUT my inability to fantasize about anyone in real life aside, that won’t stop me from listing a buncha boys I think are hot:
Beck
Topher Grace
Eric Bana
Hugh Jackman
That dude who plays Hyde in That 70s Show (I’m waaaay too lazy to Google his name right now)
James Mercer (lead singer of The Shins)
The lead singer of The Flaming Lips
The bassist for Coldplay
Brandon Flowers (lead singer of The Killers)
Rivers Cuomo (lead singer of Weezer)
Ethan Hawke, before he started oozing grease
Noah Wiley, before he became kinda annoying-looking
Paul Rudd
Billy Crudup
Viggo Mortensen in Aragorn drag, and ONLY Aragorn drag
Beiron Anderson (yes, too lazy to Google Hyde, but NEVER too lazy to Google for images of Beiron Anderson)
Andy Roddick
Totally agree about Aragorn, Candy. In fact, I will often just say Aragorn—because the Viggo? Not so hot.
Oh come ON, guys, didn’t you see Viggo in A Perfect Murder? I dig the Viggo.
Also found out what-his-name from MI2 and Ever After. It’s Dougray Scott. Just in case you wanted to know…
Eeeuuuuwwww!!! Fabio?? I should say not! He’s SO not attractive in any stretch of the imagination.
Let’s see… if we’re talking about romance in the British Isles… well, that would have to be Clive Owen. *sigh* Although Hugh Jackman has yummilicious possibilities that I hadn’t considered.
For “American” romance? Matthew McConaughy (sp?). Gotta love those dimples!
Who else…. ooh, ooh.. Oded Fehr!! I can put him in any scenario and it works for me. Hell, the man makes me…uh….“melt”.
On a side note – you Smart Bitches are fan-freakin-tastic! Someone mentioned your site in an e-mail about two months ago, and I’m addicted!
Gari
In fact, I will often just say Aragorn—because the Viggo? Not so hot.
Especially when he dresses like this.
**Especially when he dresses like this. **
Man, my psyche was already scarred by that photo once…and now I must relive the torment. *weeps softly*
Oooh, forgot to mention my trio of Chinese (OK, one’s only half-Chinese, but I’ll throw another one in there and we’ll make it three-and-a-half) hotties:
Takeshi Kaneshiro (swooon!)
Andy Lau (I’m sure you’ve all seen that picture of him I used to recover from Fabio Camel-Toe)
Jet Li
Tony Leung Chiu Wai
And yes, Matthew Mc-whatsit (I can never spell his name correctly, so I don’t even try any more) is adorable. He looks like he’s not very bright, but he’s beyoootiful, and looks like he’d be waaay fun in the sack.
Dougray Scott IS cute. Never heard of him before, though.
And definitely big thumbs-up to Ioan Gryfudd. (Damn Welsh names. Can’t even tell you how many times it took me to spell that right, and I refused to copy-and-paste from E.D’trix’s comment.)
*weeps softly for Viggo*
Mother-piss-shit-fuck-ass-GODDAMMIT just tried to Google him and I find out it’s “Ioan Gruffudd.”
I can never move to Wales.
Yeah, I coulda told you that I most likely mangled his name. And I think it is pronounced Owen! Why would you do that to Owen?
The French and the Welsh need to get together and talk about those weird-ass vowels and the redundant consonants.
Shortly thereafer, The Powers That Be behind English need to figure out WHY WE NEED 11 BAJILLION DIFFERENT WAYS OF pronouncing -ough. Seriously: cough, through, thorough, bough, tough, drought, thought. Gaaaaaah.
Top Five Mental Heroes
5) Tom Welling
4) Scott Speedman
3) Cillian Murphy (for the creepy, slightly sociopathic but oh so hot rake)
2) Jude Law (for the golden-god with the rapier-sharp wit rake)
1) Christian Bale (especially if he’s a dark, brooding rake)
I forgot Russell Wong. I just read the White Tigress by Jade Lee and pictured Russell Wong as Ru Shan. Russell Wong was especially beautiful in Prophecy II as the angel Danyael. Nice solid ass.
How about Gerald Butler? He is pretty hot and not overly fleshy in the man-titties. or Alexis Georgoulis?
Viggo was pretty hot as Eddie Boone in 28 Days – too clean cut but still yummy.
Gerard Butler in Attila the Hun
Sebastian Roche in ROAR
Michael Wincott in The Crow and 1492
David Wenham in Better than Sex and Lord of the Rings (TTT and RotK)
Shemar Moore lately, moving on to a very tanned Julian McMahon. (woof)
Oh, one of my favorite mental exercises! I read a lot of Regencies, so I’d have to throw Pierce Brosnan and Jeremy Northam into the mix. Hugh Jackman. Young Liam Neeson. Definitely Colin Firth. Most definitely Ioan Gruffudd.
And I can hardly wait until September to see _Serenity_ and more of Nathan Fillion.
Julian McMahon. Always.
Oh, is it too late to add Clive Owen to my list? And Sean Bean, and don’t get me started on dead movie stars, ‘cause then I have to add Leslie Howard and Charles Boyer and yes, I admit it, Claude Rains! I know that makes me some kind of perv, but I always thought he was sexy. Short and sexy.
mmmmh Sean Bean… if we’re doing Claude Rains we may as well add Buster Keaton to the list. He was marvy.
If dead people are in, then Alain Delon in his prime is on my list. Grrrrowr. Also Toshiro Mifune. Sighhhh. Toshiro. Brandon Lee was nummy too.
Toshiro Mifune? Oh hell yeah. HELL yeah. Brandon Lee was nummy, I agree, had a great sense of humor… but I have to admit my all-time lithe hero position goes to Alan Rickman, especially when he played in Truly, Madly, Deeply.
Ohmigod, I thought I was the only one who thought Buster Keaton was hot, hot, hot! I loved him in THE GENERAL. And just about everything else he ever did. What a body, and he knew how to use it!
Amen. And you totally know that he would make you laugh in bed.
With him.
Not AT him.
I didn’t see anyone mention James Purefoy.
I also have a thing for Jon Stewart. Especially when he smirks…
if we’re talking about romance in the British Isles… well, that would have to be Clive Owen. *sigh* Although Hugh Jackman has yummilicious possibilities
Sorry Gari, the Brits can’t claim Hugh. He’s one of ours, from down under. As are David Wenham and Eric Bana. We breed ‘em good down here. (When David Wenham played Diver Dan in the series Sea Change, almost every woman in Australia spent an hour every Sunday night just drooling.)
And I think it is pronounced Owen! Why would you do that to Owen?
The I in Ioan is more a Y sound – so think Yoan. But soft and flowing – not YO-AN. (I love the Welsh names. I have an idea in mind for a hero called Iestyn.)
My personal pinups… all of the above 😉
Sounds like we’re all going to see Fantastic Four, hmmm? Ioan and Julian MacMahon in one movie!
On the dead guys list, I have to put forth Yul Brenner. Don’t know why. I always wanted to see him just flat rip Deborah Carr’s dress off in The King and I.
You know she wanted it too.
Also Toshiro Mifune. Sighhhh. Toshiro.
In “Hidden Fortress” – rowrl. That scene where he first makes his entrance through the cleft in the rocks, and the angle is the same as from his shoulders to his hips. *sigh*
Hugh Jackman. Ioan Gruffudd. The young Harrison Ford. Erroll Flynn.
Masaharu Morimoto because forget acting. Give me a good cook.
Any long-haired, hunkalicious type, is always Pete Steele in my head. Looka this: http://www.livejournal.com/users/griz_zel_dah
And only a modest amount of man-titty. And he’s 6’6” – for real.
Now, now, Kate, I doubt you picked Morimoto solely for his culinary skillz. I noticed you didn’t pick, say, Chen Kenichi, or Hiroyuki Sakai….
Ooooh, and another dead person: Marlon Brando, right when he was starting out. Only I’d have to gag him, because that VOICE. Oooof. Waching A Streetcar Named Desire was agony when he started bellowing “Stella! Stellaaaaaaa!” I had to mute the TV set and just watch Marlon while weeping over his beautiful youth.
Whoa. Damn. Check out this picture of Pete Steele.
Sheeit. Might have to revise my “inability to fantasize about real-life people” policy.
mmmmm… I *heart* pete steele.
When the heroes are dark I usually picture Goran Visnjic or Carter Oosterhouse (Trading Spaces…the cute carpenter). xina
Mmmm, Naveen Andrews.
Seconded:
Viggo Mortensen-as-Aragorn
Clive Owen
Tony Leung
Sean Bean
Also, if necrophilia is kosher, then bags I Cary Grant.
Those-who-may-not-be-conventionally-attractive-but-make-me-laugh, which is hot:
Jon Stewart
Dave Chappelle
I don’t picture celebrities or other people when I envision a hero I read about.
I do enjoy looking at Hugh Jackman, Orlando Bloom, and Joaquin Phoenix.
Alyssa
Oh no, is Alain Delon dead? He was the hottest Zorro ever!
On my list would be:
Anthony Andrews (the Scarlet Pimpernel & Ivanhoe)
Alain Delon
Orlando Bloom
Aragorn
Val Kilmer
Vin Diesel
Dirk Benedict (the one and only Starbuck!)