This RITA® Reader Challenge 2016 review was written by Heather T. This story was nominated for the RITA® in the Long Historical category.

Here is Heather T.'s review:

I disliked this book. Let me revise that: I liked the heroine but found the hero, the story and the writing objectionable. The story starts with our hero – let’s call him Douche Canoe – cut off from funds by his asshole older brother and about to leave society to become a Bow Street runner. He is scheming to get his fiancé, Jane, to jilt him because he assumes that she will not be able to handle a life of poverty. He can’t jilt her, because she would be ruined, and he can’t talk to her because apparently he can’t use words. So instead, Douche Canoe tricks Jane into finding him in a compromising situation with another lady. She instantly throws him over and renounces True Love because Her Heart Has Been Broken.

Jump to years later. At this point, I had to put the book down because it was obvious that it was a later book in a series and I was missing important pieces. I went to the Interwebz to read summaries of the previous books and, armed with the backstory, picked up the book again. In the twelve years since the Prologue, Douche Canoe had, together with his likable half-bother and half-sister, established a private detective agency which gained fame for its ability to track down missing persons. Douche Canoe’s asshole older brother has just died and Douche Canoe has inherited the title of Viscount, so he is on his new estate looking over the land and making plans.

It turns out that Jane’s cousin and best friend, Nancy, had married said asshole older brother, and Jane is visiting widow Nancy a short distance away. Jane has gotten engaged, and Douche Canoe decides not to reach out to her because although he still loves her (we’re told), it just wouldn’t be right, and besides, he knows that she doesn’t care for him anymore. Not that they’ve spoken or anything, because that would require using words; he just decides that this is the way it is.

Therefore, he is surprised when she shows up at his door. Nancy has disappeared and Jane has come to Douche Canoe for help. Douche Canoe doubts her and questions whether Nancy is actually missing. He treats Jane dismissively and immediately tries to make decisions for her. I might as well admit now that his name is Dom. Seriously. Dom — for a control freak. Jane resents his attitude, as well she should, and thinks of him as “Dom the Almighty.”

Now we embark on an aggravating tale in the search for Nancy. At every turn Dom tries to cut Jane out, doesn’t believe her, forms an unreasonable hatred of Nancy, and acts based on his own twisted view of the situation. Jane is not without blame here — she also withholds important information — but at least she has a reason for it. As the story goes on it becomes obvious that even back when they were engaged they didn’t talk much because they know nothing about each other. If two people are dishonest with each other, immediately put the worst spin on anything the other says or does, can’t speak honestly or openly with each other, but have pants feelings – THAT’S NOT LOVE. That’s not even infatuation. It’s just perverse.

To Jane’s credit, she sees that Dom is overbearing, isn’t honest with her, and doesn’t allow her to make her own decisions, and she doesn’t like it. It turns out that her father was abusive to her mother, so Jane knows the danger of a controlling man and can clearly see Dom’s issues. As I read I repeatedly yelled, “Run away, run away!” at the book in the hopes that she would hear me. But no. Love of a good woman redeems a dictatorial man. She tells him about her domineering father; he tells her about something terrible that happened that he’s been blaming himself for, and presto-chango – all better!

For anyone out there who is thinking that this is a real thing that happens in real life – No. No, it isn’t.

Jane breaks off her engagement, and this was one of the strangest parts of the book for me. We learned early that this was an engagement of convenience, with her intended being a gruff fellow who needs certain things from Jane, and Jane being a practical gal who has (as we’ve been told) given up on True Love. Jane approaches her fiancé and they immediately have an open and honest conversation about ending the engagement. He isn’t angry about it, and in fact is self-deprecating and funny. He apparently trusts Jane to know her own mind and they part friends. It is a welcome breath of sanity in a book that otherwise relies on misunderstanding and mistrust.

Here are two ways this story could have worked better for me:

1. After tricking Jane into jilting him, Dom realizes that it was a bullshit thing to do. He spends the years apart reforming his ways, learning to talk to and listen to people and consider their perspectives. When he hears about her engagement, he is genuinely heartbroken since she is responsible for him becoming a better person. He decides to leave her alone since he treated her so badly in the past. When Jane shows up looking for Nancy, he listens to her, involves her, and treats her with respect. They open up and talk and the mutual trust and affection grows. They both come to realize that what they had before was not love, but what they have now is.
2. The story progresses pretty much as it already does, but Jane doesn’t fall for Dom again. She appreciates that he appears to be trying to reform and that he is opening up, but she knows that one or two good conversations cannot change who a person fundamentally is. Instead, she remains true to her fiancé. When we meet up with the fiancé, he asks whether she is thinking of going back to Dom and the two have an open discussion about it. Jane realizes that what she had with Dom was just a fantasy of love, and that she actually loves her fiancé with whom she can talk and who has always treated her honestly.

Alas, neither of those are the story I got. At the end, the book tries to convince me that I ended up with option one, but I didn’t buy it for a moment.

That leads me to another thing I didn’t like about this book. It was all tell, not show. Instead of demonstrating to us through words and deeds that Dom has actually changed, we’re simply told that that is what has happened. Much of the story is inner dialogue, which can work when it serves as a support to the action, but does not work when it substitutes for or conflicts with the actions of the characters. What is interesting is that the internal dialogue from Dom shows that in fact, he hasn’t altered. He constantly wishes Jane would just do what he wants and he does not seem to think of her as a fully formed person who can take care of herself. He thinks of Jane as an object to be possessed and he has a constant struggle to just let her be herself. Thus, in this instance, both the inner dialogue and outer actions of the character show a resistance to change, but the book blithely wants me to believe that he’s A Changed Man Worthy of Trust.

That isn’t all that is trying about the writing. The book is full of clichéd, trite and overwrought language, but Dom’s internal monologue was particularly grating. In his internal monologue, Dom swears constantly — “blast it” and “damn it all to blazes” popping up every sentence or two. It was all very Fifty Shades of Holy Crap mixed with the most violet of purple prose.

So why isn’t this getting a D? The sex was consensual, the hero does (we’re told) try to reform. The hero isn’t evil; he’s a guy who needs some serious help with his interpersonal skills. I just didn’t buy the transformation. The writing didn’t work for me, but I’ve seen worse. I liked the heroine, other than her questionable affection for the hero. The supporting characters – especially the half-sister – were fun characters who helped prop up what would otherwise be an infuriating book with an unconvincing and improbable HEA. So a C minus it is for me – not a good book, but not the very worst.