B-
Title: Three Wishes
Author: Amelia Elias
Publication Info: Aphrodite Unlaced 2005
Genre: Paranormal
I do not mean to imply that in some manner I penalized this work based on it’s length, but woodamn do I wish it had been longer. It’s a concise capsule of erotic romance that goes from warm to hot and stays there, and it contains the spinal core of what makes a crafty erotic romance a charged and creative read.
Lucas Drake has a genie and two problems: one, he’s used up his three wishes, and two, he’s in Lurrrrrveâ„¢ with his coworker Allyson Vaughn, who is both the daughter of his former mentor and partner, and the smart, savvy, sexy woman he wished into his life (that would be wish #2). Unfortunately for Lucas, his other two wishes were used to confirm the increased and permanent success of his business enterprise, and ensure that nothing that belongs or is intended for him well never be taken from him unless he gives consent. That last wish was crafted with such attention to detail and legalese that you’d think Lucas would have remembered to wish for Allyson’s affections.
Ooops.
Allyson has decided to leave the business headquarters to direct one of their subsidiaries in Seattle, and Lucas has to figure out how to confess his feelings without losing all sense of pride, since he has no idea how Allyson feels about him.
Meanwhile, Allyson is having a hard time keeping her eyes off Lucas, and is half pushing herself out to Seattle to get away from him, and away from her feelings for him.
This short story starts out with one of my favorite romantic situations: he’s hot for her but thinks she’s not interested, and she’s hot for him but won’t risk the humiliation if he doesn’t return her interest. Moreover, they work together, so they’re around each other in daily doses, but aside from the professional interaction, neither has any clue if they’re the only one with the irmy squirmy crotches where the other is concerned.
Because the story is a quick read, I’ll only give the setup of the plot, because to go any farther would give away too much. However, I did like it, and it went way too quick for my tastes; as I mentioned, I don’t penalize the author for that, though I wish that I’d had more time to get to know the characters, find out how Lucas came into possession of that there genie, and who the other owners are who financed the purchase of its lamp. I’d also like to spend a little more time inside Allyson’s head, because most of the story is from Lucas’ perspective, as he’s the one what has the genie, the magic snake in his trousers, and those three wishes.
When Lucas and Allyson do hook up – of course they do, it’s a romance! – woo damn. But there was only one issue I had there:
both of them went from possibly-unreciprocated attraction to hot n’ heavy boardroom boinking with a lot of verbal confidence. I would expect more hesitation between them for their first (very hot!) love scene, but they jumped right into the dirty talk that I would have thought would require more trust between them to allow. With an unknown person it would seem unlikely that they’d use such terms, without first establishing trust in one another. Otherwise it doesn’t sound like an emotional entanglement; it sounds and reads more like hot carnal satisfaction with no background – although it does plenty to make it clear how fiery the attraction is between them.
One word about erotic romance and terminology: do pussies have to weep? Allyson’s wept twice in twenty pages and really, I wanted to get the poor woman a Stayfree. It’s a damn shame that there are so many ways to describe an erection, but so few to describe female arousal, especially in the tropical and emotional sense.
Elias does an admirable job of setting up a story wherein the hero was smart enough to wish for his dream woman, but not smart enough to ask for her guaranteed affections. It’s obviously better that he forgot, since any possible feelings on her part are due to her own attraction, not due to magical influence. The only magic at work around her was his third wish, which would not let her leave him unless he let her go.
Clearly she is meant for him, but aside from the choices of her own behavior, she’s not getting out of his sphere until he lets her go. So not only does Lucas have to own up to his own mistakes in his wishes, but he has to put on his big-boy pants (or, put them back on after tossing them on the floor) and earn his happy ending. And Lucas does so in an admirable, original way that allows Elias to guarantee for the reader that Lucas and Allyson’s HEA is due to their own decisions, and not to external influence, which in turn creates an emotionally and sexually satisfying romance in a convenient snack-sized portion.
Yes! Yes! Yes!
…it was good for me. :red:
Thanks for the review, Sarah! I agree with you on the tragedy that ensues when an author has to describe female arousal. It’s difficult! At least in erotica, we can avoid being purple—“mossy love grotto” comes instantly to mind. Especially a trickling one. Ew.
Anyone have any suggestions on this sticky topic? (sorry, couldn’t resist)
“Sticky topic.” BWAHAHA
Female arousal is so hard (ha!) to describe accurately, without sounding like a complete medical problem. Here’s a bit of fascinating trivia for you: There’s a great book called Taking Charge of Your Fertility that describes three key elements to predicting your own ovulation cycle: cervical placement, basal body temperature, and cervical mucous. As you approach ovulation, your cervix produces a nice sperm-friendly mucous that’s often described as having the consistency of egg white. Plenty of people I know have gotten pregnant by tracking these signs, but when the author tried to publicize her findings, she had a very hard time getting anyone to speak in the media, print or otherwise, about “cervical mucous.” I believe one man eventually said “cervical discharge” or “cervical moisture” but geez, you’d think we’d be over the idea that vaginas get wet to varying stages!
Sheesh.
I bet Candy will have some great ideas for describing the horny giney. As soon as Hubby is done nesting upstairs, I’ll ask him, too. heh.
“Her body temperature rose as he neared, and she felt her cervical mucous taking on the consistency of egg white…”
Um. It ain’t doing it for me, Sarah.
Oh come on now. Egg white is sexy… right? No? Okay then.
Nah it’s totally not sexy, but it sure does demonstrate how ill-at-ease some are with female arousal!
She was so fertile that his mere presence only heightened her body temperature, and she felt her sexual core pull deeply inward and open in anticipation.
“How do you like your eggs?” She asked in a whisper.
Over-easy. Clearly.
“Weeping” seems to be a common adjective to describe the state of a woman’s arousal in alot of erotica that I’ve read. Along with “sopping”, “soaking”, and “gushing”. I’ve also read some where the heroine’s puss “flooded” and some where she was so excited her womanly juices actually started to run down her leg. Is that even possible? Because that doesn’t seem even remotely sexy to me; I just think: eeewwww, get a tissue or something and mop that thing up!
I liked (and blogged about) this story too. Like you, I wished it had been longer. I’m definitely ready for the next book by this author.
——I’m definitely ready for the next book by this author.——
you’ll get your chance – Loose Id is publishing an erotic succubus book of hers come December. (big grin) elias is a hoot.
Hey, Sunny, whassup, girl? Don’t you have any suggestions for renaming the Mossy Grotto ‘o Luuuurve? You’re probably too busy handcuffing your characters and doing naughty things to them. I heartily approve.
And not that it really matters, because demonic boinking is pretty much demonic boinking, but it’s an incubus. Hot, sexy incubus hero, erotic toystore-owning heroine. Wow, was it ever difficult to come up with any sexual tension between those two…
Hubby of SB Sarah says:
“flooding in the Lincoln Tunnel”
“flash flood in the valley”
penalized this work based on its length
*Snort* Am I the only one here with my head in the gutter?
As for weeping pussies: this sounds like a medical problem to me—like a penile discharge. What’s wrong with a good ol’ ‘hot and wet and sticky down there’? Tell it like it is. Even if ‘weep’ was a good metaphor for this process, its connotation of sadness ruins it as an appropriate verb.
This is totally off-topic, but I’m fired up enough to be rude and interject-
Just back from the grocery store, where some over-eager book distributor person had already shelved Cindy Cruciger’s Revenge Gifts, along with the September Blazes, of which Marie Donovan’s first book is one. (Man, that was some shit for grammar…sorry!)
I bought both of them.
But no eggs. Y’all are cracking me up with the egg jokes.
Stef
Cheese and crackers, people, there’s so much more you can do with this! You forgot all about “swollen”! Female tissues get engorged with blood during arousal, and this makes them swollen, tender, plumper, aching, sensitive, full, engorged (I can use it again ‘cause now I’m being descriptive), pulsing, throbbing, wet, and the decks swabbed, ready for action, and prepared to be boarded. Y’all should have been at my panel on “Crafting Sex Scenes” at Worldcon.
And Angela, a woman _can_ be so aroused that lubricating fluid starts trickling down her leg. Doesn’t happen often enough, imho, but it does happen.
Finally, if you’re testing mucous for fertile times, you want to have it where when you wet your fingers and then slowly pull your finger and thumb apart, the mucous is elastic. If it’s tacky, you’re not as likely to be ovulating.
Even after 20 years, there are some things you just don’t forget.[g]
I was going to say my mucous is never, ever tacky because I raised it better than that, but I’m afraid of being banned from SBs for all time.
I’ll never be able to look at an egg the same way again. I’ll have to resist the urge to test it for tackiness and/or elasticity. Okay…so that will be an easy one to resist.
Oh, thanks Stef. I was meaning to buy Marie’s book.
And this book sounds rather good….maybe I need to expand my publisher horizons since this wasn’t ever on it.
Er…or could be that I hate Fictionwise.
Oh sweet lord, is THAT what that is? Great, now not only do I have to have a period, I’m layin’ freakin’ eggs TOO?
I startled my kid in the other room laughing about the egg jokes. Lemon Merangue will eternally be suspect for me now.
I have to ask that no one really use swollen, lol. Swelling usually implies pain and ER visits in my head, like weeping makes me think she’s sad. (Gives new meaning to “crying, my ass”, don’t it?)
Other words to avoid: enflamed, grasping (I KNOW it’s tight in there, but seriously, I picture a sexual version of the extra mouth in Aliens) and flooding because then I think “Mudslide” and that’s a REALLY bad connotation.
Thanks for the laughs and great review!!
Dee
I’m with you on the gushing and flooding. Copiously dripping anything is sorta… ew. Same with male ejaculation—torrents pouring forth, frothing, running down legs, etc, just make me wanna gag.
Hmm… it’s starting to sound like I’m writing the wrong genre! Maybe I should write sweet contemps… Naah, I love the humpity hump too much to change.
For the person who hates Fictionwise, Three Wishes can also be purchased directly from the publisher at http://www.AphroditeUnlaced.com so feel free to check it out there.