Book Review

Text from Jane Eyre by Mallory Ortberg

B+

Genre: Humor

Amanda and I were so excited about Texts from Jane Eyre that we couldn’t wait to text each other about it. Then I remembered that I actually hate texting because I still haven’t learned to type on my phone, so we chatted via Google Docs instead. As you can see, we loved the book.


 

Carrie: Did you like the book? Are you not entertained?

Amanda: I did! I started reading it on the subway and my roommate commented that I was laughing like a crazy person. Some things took me out of book, but overall, great concept.

What about you? I’m sure we both have our favorites. 🙂

Carrie: A note to our readers: Texts From Jane Eyre, by Mallory Ortberg of The Toast, retells books from Medea to The Babysitters Club as a series of text messages between characters.

I’d say my fav would be Wuthering Heights. I was in the checkout line at store. Many people thought I was odd. Laughed like a loon as Heathcliff and Cathy try to upstage each other:

i am so excited i am going to just ruin heaven with my screaming back at you

that is so sweet of you to do that

OMG I laughed so hard at this I thought I would pee my pants. You?

Amanda: Ouch, that’s a hard choice. I think The Babysitter’s Club was up there.

Or The Little Prince: “I must go. My planet needs me.”

Carrie: Or Scarlett sexing everyone. And Thoreau being not independent. They are all so wonderful.

What do you think makes these so damn funny?

Amanda: Well for one, the book takes characters that we know (and hopefully love, or at the very least intensely studied while in school) and turns them into a caricature. It’s hilarious.

But perhaps I’m not as well-read as I’d like to be. Some of the choices in what characters to choose in lit went totally over my head.

Carrie: I haven’t read all of these books but I’ve read most of them. I think part of what makes it work is that the texts illustrate something real about the books. They are off the wall, but in a relevant way.

I read another review that pointed out how feminist the book is, because the texts show how incredibly self-centered men who write literature and who appear in literature are.

Only Scarlett gives the guys a run for their money in terms of being totally self-absorbed.

Amanda: Oh, I totally agree. Daisy Miller, a book I haven’t read, was included in the book and has several parts. But back to the self-centered men in lit, there was one text talking about how Daisy died and essentially the text response was, “Well she did run off with an Italian.”

What did you think of the format? While putting everything into text messages brings things into a modern era and certainly makes for some hilarious exchanges, I found it incredibly challenging at times.

Carrie: I liked it but I’m old so I still find jokes about acronyms to be super edgy LOL. Only sometimes I lost track of who was talking.

Also I would totally accept “Death by Italian Man” as option if given the choice: “You’re 105. Would you like to die of heart failure, pneumonia, or Italian?” “Italian, please”.

Should clarify for our readers that there’s no domestic abuse involved – Daisy literally dates an Italian and dies FOR NO REASON. He seems to be a perfectly nice Italian man, no murder or anything.

Or, as Ortberg puts it: “she went for a walk outside with an Italian at night under the MOON…so you know obviously that killed her.”

The only thing I hated was sometimes it was just getting started and then the author is all, “OK on to next book” and I’m “Wait what about….”

Amanda: Same! Though I lost track of who was talking A LOT. Or even who the texts were supposed to be from or going to in the first place, in the cases of when I wasn’t familiar with a book.

There were some strange choices in terms of what to cover. I’m curious about Mallory’s methods of narrowing down what to include, because personally I could have read page after page of just Hamlet texting and being a brat to his mother.

Carrie: Yes, I was devastated that we didn’t get more of Hamlet and his sandwich angst. His mom was the best.

okay you still want to die? or OK you want me to bring you a tuna fish sandwich? I’ll bring the sandwich just in case

So Amanda, what grade would you give this?

Amanda: Hm…I’d ultimately give it a B+. The content was top-notch, even if I didn’t understand it all. And the book would make a great gift for the literary-inclined. But the wonky (and yes, that’s a technical term) in terms of formatting and the confusion it caused knocked it down into the B range.

How about you? Better or worse than my B+?

Carrie: As an English Lit Major who had to write crap loads of essays about most of these books I’d give it an A++++ but I can see how it’s very much a collection of in-jokes so I’ll accept B+ for general audience.

I did my senior thesis on The Scarlet Letter. How I long for a Scarlet Letter text entry! Also having written tons about Jane Eyre and Pride and Prejudice I thought both those sections were absolutely spot on. ROFL.

Amanda: I also can’t stress this enough. GIFT THIS BOOK TO PEOPLE. SPREAD THE JOY.

Carrie: Oh Hell YES. Gift that puppy. Especially if you know an English Major. DO IT NOW.

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Texts from Jane Eyre by Mallory Ortberg

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  1. elaanfaun says:

    Want!

  2. Darlynne says:

    This sounds great and my library has it (until the price comes down, hopefully).

  3. Dorothy says:

    English major/instructor here. I need this to read and enjoy and stick on my office bookshelf so people know I’m the cool teacher.

  4. elaanfaun says:

    So, after telling my Mom about this book this morning, I go to the library and what do I see? Yup. Snatched it right up. 😀

  5. PetiteJ says:

    I love her art columns on The Toast. They have me chortling with glee. Must get this book now. Late birthday/early Christmas gift.

  6. Scarlet Letter in Text

    Hester: D, where are you? Talk to me.
    Hester: Why aren’t you talking to me? Get back to me.
    Hester: I can’t do this alone. At least, say something.
    Dimmesdale: Stop txting me.
    Hester: You can’t hide forever.
    Hester: I know you’re out there.
    Pearl (to D): I see you.

  7. Jessica says:

    I went to a reading for this last weekend! Ortberg is suuuuper hilarious and let slip that there is an audiobook in the works. I can’t wait for that – it’s really perfect for being read aloud

  8. Sunshine says:

    “the texts show how incredibly self-centered men who write literature and who appear in literature are”

    Have you read Ortberg’s “Male Novelist Jokes” on The Toast (or watched the video of her reading them)? I think you’d like that.

  9. Erica Smith says:

    My bf bought it for me as a stocking stuffer. I’ve been dramatically reading for the household. Love this book.

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