There are thousands of reviews of Star Trek Into Darkness out there, but I know you Bitches only have one burning question: Is there smooching?
Well. Of course James T. Kirk has a certain amount of casual sex, because he's James T. Kirk. Fans of TOS (The Original Series) will be intrigued to note that a certain Dr. Carol Marcus shows up, and although there isn't time for more than light flirting in this movie, it looks like she'll be staying around. Hmmmmm.
The real romance is between Spock and Uhura. It takes up maybe five minutes of screen time in a movie that is over two hours long – but these five minutes show how to do a grown-up romance between people who are flawed, but also intelligent and mature. I'm not saying you should see this movie just to get your romance hit, but I am saying that the little romance we get is wonderful.
The last Star Trek movie established Spock and Uhura as a couple. Seriously, every romance writer should watch these two in action to see how it is done. First of all, at the very beginning of the movie, Spock says something very Vulcan-ish, and Uhura shoots him this look of total love, humor, and acceptance. There was more romance in this quick, wordless glance than in some entire romantic comedies. Then, they have a fight because of a misunderstanding – not a stupid one, but one which is almost inevitable given their different backgrounds. Then, guess what – they talk about it. Granted, Uhura drags Kirk into it, which is just wrong, but Uhura deserves a little back up at that point. They have an actual honest conversation, and then they make up because they understand each other better. As a bonus, although they clearly adore each other, they are not so befuddled with lust that they can't do their jobs and avoid making out at work. I love this couple so, so much.
Now for my more general notes about the movie: I had a great time, and I will probably never see it again. Trek is capable of being emotionally powerful and intellectually challenging. This film is clearly trying to accomplish both ends, but I simply never believed that any of the main characters were actually in peril, and the political message about responding to terrorism was too heavy-handed to be effective. The movie goes along nicely until about two-thirds of the way through the film, where it starts to rehash material from TOS and the plot falls apart.
It's a gorgeous movie, splendidly acted, often funny, and everyone gets to be a badass. Aisha Hinds shows up on the bridge and I dearly hope we see more of her in the next movie, because she looks fit and healthy but also curvy and big-boned – a nice change from the usual Trek look. She only had one line but she looked pretty badass just sitting around. Zoe Saldana delivers the line “Then let me speak Klingon” in a way that made me a little dizzy, it was so very awesome. Carol Marcus takes out a guy with an elbow hit, which my husband assures me is a good way to take someone out if you have a small frame and want to put a lot of power behind a blow, so points to the fight choreographer. Alpha men weep openly and unashamedly. The line, “This is Captain Sulu” is uttered. I'm seriously considering marrying all of the characters at once – men, women, skinny and cerebral emotionally tortured villains – they're all great. I just wish they had a better story.
Bottom line is that if you want to see challenging, thought-provoking science fiction, you're going to have to look elsewhere, but if you want to see sexy people saying awesome things and just generally have a good time, and you don't mind a plot that includes massive holes, you'll enjoy Star Trek Into Darkness.