Book Review

Review: Their Virgin Concubine by Shayla Black and Lexie Blake

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Title: Their Virgin Concubine
Author: Shayla Black and Lexie Blake
Publication Info: DLZ Entertainment 2012
ISBN: 978-1937608095
Genre: Erotica/Erotic Romance

Book Their Virgin Concubine Apparently I am now the official Smart Bitches ménage reviewer. When Sarah showed me this book I knew had to read it because OMG Their Virgin Concubine. Also the blurb the said “Can they navigate the unique pathways of love as their cousin plots for the throne?” I was willing to bet that “unique pathway of love” was anal, and I was right. 

This book actually isn’t awful at all. It’s crazy, but it owns its crazy, and I respect that. The heroine, Piper, is a shy, nerdy virgin who is working for a company that’s introducing green power to the country of Bezakistan. She’s been corresponding with this guy named Tal, and she has a crush on him even though they’ve never met. What she doesn’t know is that Tal is Talib, the sheikh, and he’s considering her for marriage.

Tal’s brothers, Rafiq and Kadir, accompany her to Bezcockistan, and immediately she makes their dicks sit up and take notice. This is hardly a bad thing though because in Bezcockistan brothers all marry the same woman. Yup. Rafe explains:

It’s a tradition that began long ago in our mountain regions as a way to keep a family’s wealth intact without cutting off the younger siblings and is still largely practiced by our population today. Primogeniture was the Western world’s tradition, but it forced younger sons into poverty, religion, or war. We did not wish that upon our children. The same holds true today although many do not see it. They view our tradition of bride sharing as barbaric, but it keeps the family centered on a common purpose.

And that purpose is Piper’s vajayay.

So Rafe and Kade fool around with Piper on their luxury jet, but she gets mad because there’s no penetration and dammit she wants that pesky hymen gone. She doesn’t know that they’re saving it for Tal.

So then she meets Tal and she’s all “OMG you’re the sheikh?! I thought you were just some dude!” and he’s all “I’m totally cool that my brothers want to bang you cuz that’s how we roll here.” And then all get it on—after some personal grooming, because Rafe told her on the plane:

“I find I am hungry. Then, darling girl, we must discuss grooming. When we reach Bezakistan, I must turn this charming forest into a desert. It is a cultural thing, of course.”

Bezcockistan: Pro polyandry, anti pubic hair. God, I want to work for their tourism council.

So then after the sweet-sweet lovin’, Piper gets up and goes out on the balcony in just a shirt (like you do) and there all these peoples down there cheering. See, Talib has to pick a wife pronto, but he and his brothers couldn’t find the right lady. What Piper doesn’t know is that by sleeping with the brothers together she’s entered into this contract where she’ll be their “concubine” for thirty days, and then she can either reject them or accept them in marriage.

And since they are all super hot and rich and it’s assumed the marriage is gonna happen.

So she’s not happy because they tricked her, and they tell her that in their country it’s tradition to “steal” a bride which basically justifies the lying. But the sex was good, so she’s happy about that.

There are two big conflicts going on here. One is that the brothers really need for her to agree to marry them to keep the country stable because as we know, Middle Eastern nations are super dependent on women’s choice for stability. At one point Piper reflects:

She’d never imagined that her vagina had the power to destabilize a whole country.

See what I mean about owning the crazy?

Anyway, Kade and Rafe already fell insta-love with her, but Tal can’t BECAUSE HE HAS NO FEELS. He was once kidnapped and his partner was tortured in front of him and he felt responsible for her death and now his feels are gone to that windswept, rainy moor that broody hero feels go to to die. He picked Piper because she challenged him intellectually and she was his friend and he assumed that he could marry her without falling in love. He’s gonna leave the mushy stuff up to his brothers.

Did I mention that Tal is a Dom and the woman who was killed (his partner) was his sub? OF COURSE SHE WAS.

The other conflict, far less interesting, was that Khalil, the brothers’ cousin, is trying to stir shit up and may have poisoned Piper and they’re all worried for her safety. But let’s ignore Khalil because no one cares about him anyway.

So Piper goes on this quest to get Tal to admit to being in love with her, which mostly involves going down into his dungeon for a session as his sub and getting spanked. Also butt plugs and nipple clamps. As one would expect.

Tal was actually a fully fleshed (hurr) character. His angst was real and the authors even take time to explain why he’s a Dom despite being in control of everything else as the sheikh. I also think I finally understood Subspace, which Piper describes as a euphoria that comes from not being in control. I’ve read about this before in BDSM books, but haven’t really gotten it. But Piper (during the dungeon session) was experiencing muscle fatigue from holding her slave position.

Now, I do a lot of yoga. And when you do yoga, sometimes your instructor decides to torture you by making you hold Horse Pose for a really long time, and you squat there, muscles burning, remembering why you should pee before class and thinking “I’m going to fucking die here.” And just when you’re sure you’re going to pass out or tip over or cry your brain clicks over to this totally meditative state and you forget about the pain (until you try and put on pantyhose the next day). I think this must be Subspace or something close to it. At least to the best of my understanding.

Anyway, Tal had some real angst I could appreciate although he was occasionally a dick. Kade and Rafe were more cookie-cutter. Rafe was described as being the sophisticated gentleman, but really he just compliments Piper a lot, is a big fan of cunnilingus, and gives foot rubs (Rafe is clearly the winner of best brother, here). Kade was a big playboy but now that his peen has known Piper, it can know no other vadge again.

Piper is supposedly nerdy and klutzy yet super sexy and voluptuous and despite being a virgin she manages that 4-way thing like a pro. I was seriously picturing Fred from the TV series Angel although she only had 4-ways in fan fic.

The book was well done, it was suitably crazy, full of spicy sex, and a quick read. It did leave me with important questions:

1.      Do the brothers all have to have sex with their wife simultaneously or is that just a thing Tal/Kade/Rafe are into?

2.      Can you be the hero of a polyandry book and have a name with more than one syllable in it?

3.      Wouldn’t Bezcockistan have a super disproportionate number of single women? Maybe there’s a spin off series here: Bezcockian Gigolos.

4.      What if you had to marry a bunch of brothers and one was stinky or an asshole? What if he was a stinky asshole? What if it’s like the Crowe brothers on Justified and you get stuck with Dewey Crowe in there?

5.      What if a family has ten brothers? Can you rent a spare vagina?

Their Virgin Concubine is part of a series (Masters of Ménage) so there is the potential that my questions will be answered later. I’m totally looking forward to Their Virgin Secretary based on this except:

Those boobs were his, damn it. At least he fully intended for those boobs to belong to him. Well, a third of them anyway.

Score.


This book is available from Goodreads | Amazon | BN | Kobo | All Romance eBooks and is currently .99c.

Comments are Closed

  1. 1

    I read this every day but almost never comment BUT OMG DEWEY CROWE!!! I howled and then had to read it hubby who also had a good laugh. But the thought of being the with Crowe brothers….No, just don’t go there!  LOL LOL

  2. 2
    jimthered says:

    Does anyone else think a decent number of the multiple-partner SBTB books reviewed here sound a lot like pornos?  This one and THE BODYGUARDS’ PRINCESS both come (heh) to mind.

  3. 3
    jimthered says:

    Also, does anyone else think that the image of Piper on the cover looks like Ashley Tisdale?  Maybe it’s a coincidence, but posing for a menage cover wouldn’t be the wildest thing a former Disney star has done…

  4. 4
    The Fairy Godmother says:

    Bezcockistan: Pro polyandry, anti pubic hair. God, I want to work for their tourism council.

    I went and bought the book after that. Well, not immediately after, I laughed so hard I broke something, so there was a period of recuperation.

  5. 5
    Laurie says:

    I read this book and that review was spot on and hilarious.  Thanks for a Monday morning chuckle!

  6. 6
    CarrieS says:

    I’ll never think of Fred the same way again.

  7. 7

    5.    What if a family has ten brothers? Can you rent a spare vagina?

    Their Virgin Concubine is part of a series (Masters of Ménage) so there is the potential that my questions will be answered later. I’m totally looking forward to Their Virgin Secretary based on this except:

    Those boobs were his, damn it. At least he fully intended for those boobs to belong to him. Well, a third of them anyway.

    *dies* Oh, thank you for making my morning! LOL.

    Enjoy,
    TBQ

  8. 8
    Tabs says:

    Because I’m a dumbass who knows no fear, I tried to read this review while eating a slice of pizza.  I made it to “now his feels are gone to that windswept, rainy moor that broody hero feels go to to die” before choking on my own stupidity (and pizza).

    Thanks, Elyse.

  9. 9
    Make Kay says:

    Omg, YES!  I have read this book and totally thought the same things, although my thoughts (though snarky)  were not nearly as funny! 
    I love reviews like this.  Keep up the fantastic work

  10. 10
    Fiona McGier says:

    OMG, I laughed so hard I spit my coffee on my keyboard!  Thanks for brightening up my day.  This, THIS is why I can’t read ménage books without giggling.  I can’t suspend belief long enough to accept that brothers (my 3 boys wouldn’t even share toys when they were kids!) would agree to share a woman without the desire to neuter each other. And at the same time, when there’s more than a slight possibility that not only would they have to look at each other aroused, but their parts might touch?  Umm…so not happening.

    But I think the “magic vadge” should join with the “magic peen” as tropes of their own.  I’m really tired of books that have someone’s body parts SO special that everyone in the world wants a part of them. People, please.  We ALL have the same parts.  They can’t be THAT unique unless they’re mis-shapen in some odd way. And that’s not really erotic.

  11. 11
    Veronica says:

    Oy gevalt! I daresay such portrayals won’t go a long way toward improving international understanding, will they? Still, I *must* read this book!

  12. 12
    harthad says:

    (Applauding from the floor, here, where I have fallen and can’t get up.)

    “now his feels are gone to that windswept, rainy moor that broody hero feels go to to die”

    My innocence has gone to the same place, I fear.

     

  13. 13
    Lina says:

    Best review of ménage , I have read. Totally made my day !!!  I don’t even want to read it but I’m buying it for the crazy …

  14. 14
    joyceg says:

    Ohmygawd this review was just what I needed after listening to roofers bang (ahem) on my house for the past 5 hours!  I was totally enjoying reading it, but the Dewey Crowe reference just put me over the top.  Hilarioius!  As Lina said, I don’t want to read it, either, but find that I have to, just “for the crazy.”

  15. 15
    CK says:

    You had me at Bezcockistan. Hats off. It made my Monday.

  16. 16
    DonnaMarie says:

    Well played, Elyse. Well played.

    Although, brothers? Yuck.

  17. 17
    Jess says:

    This sounds so bat-shit crazy that I have to drop everything and read it now.

  18. 18
    cm says:

    reading this review filled my heart with joy and laughter. Life IS worth living! If only to read your next review!

  19. 19
    kkw says:

    I was under the impression ménage meant household. Isn’t this like calling a three way a way? Or a four way, as the case may be.

    Although ménage can also be translated as housework, apparently, and the masters of housework sound like my kind of heroes.

  20. 20
    Vicki says:

    Polyandry still exists in northern India, at least. My husband’s first wife is from India and has relatives who practice it. My understanding is that it is more that she takes care of both of them, there is just one husband in the bed at a time, and all the kids are considered off-spring of the oldest brother. And many of them, the husbands, have long names that I cannot pronounce properly. More than one syllable, for sure. 

    Interestingly, her immediate family have not put it about that she is divorced so that I am considered the second wife. My children are considered relatives and my daughter has stayed in their home. It is an interesting culture.

  21. 21
    CarrieS says:

    Have been puttering around today and I every now and then I’ll snort, “THE MOORS”  and guffaw.  People in grocery store are mystified by this.

  22. 22
    Sarita says:

    I want to see “Where broody hero feels go to die” on a postcard.
    Also, the print is tiny, but does the cover actually say ‘three dark princes’? Dark, as in, nonwhite? I find myself uncomfortable with that phrasing.

  23. 23
    KarenH says:

    Anyway, Kade and Rafe already fell insta-love with her, but Tal can’t BECAUSE HE HAS NO FEELS. He was once kidnapped and his partner was tortured in front of him and he felt responsible for her death and now his feels are gone to that windswept, rainy moor that broody hero feels go to to die.

    So, maybe, in the future, you could put some kind of Food/Drink Choking Hazard Ahead warning in your reviews?  Purlease???  Cherry Coke Zero through the nose really REALLY hurts. :)

  24. 24
    ohhellsyeah says:

    Marriage to Dewey Crowe. Now that is horrifying. I guess you hope his swimmers aren’t the ones to get the job done.

    Why are brothers such a thing? I mean, I don’t read menace so all I know of it are the reviews here and Maya Banks but . . . I don’t get it. People can read what they want, obviously, but I find the idea of siblings being involved in each other’s sex lives to be off putting.

  25. 25
    LibbyF says:

    In our family when you do something really stupid, you’ve DeweyCrowed. We love us some Dewey Crowe.

  26. 26

    Dewey Crowe is the stupid cousin, isn’t he? So he would be the bad guy plotting the take over of the world, anyway, right?

    Although not sure why Darrell Crowe and Stabbed In The Head With His Own Knife Crowe would be the GOOD Crowes to have. At least Dewey would be easily manipulated.

  27. 27
    Teri Boyd says:

    Best review ever!

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