The Fate of the Furious
by Chris Morgan and Gary Scott Thompson (based on characters created by)
Universal Pictures
I have seen NONE of the Fast and Furious movies before.
I know there are cars, and explosions, and cars, and Vin Diesel flexes and so does Dwayne Johnson.
I asked Twitter to catch me up in the 13 minutes before my showing started, and…
Twitter obliged.
Bad Boy with a heart of gold forms found family of Very Pretty and Diverse People by driving fast cars and sometimes explosions. https://t.co/JdeHczyhFe
— C (@lilisonna) April 13, 2017
@redheadedgirl Anyway, serious attempt: They started off as criminals who race cars. Now they apparently save the world and race cars.
— Ashley (@ashleyeleigh) April 13, 2017
Special thanks to C and Ashley for permission to use their tweets.
There’s a plot? I guess? While Dom (Vin Diesel) and his wife Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) are on their honeymoon, Charlize Theron comes along and convinced Dom to betray his crew for Reasons, and he yells a whole bunch about how there’s nothing more important than family, and things go sideways which ends up with the Rock and Jason Statham fighting/flirting in prison, and then some stuff happens, and they all end up in Russia fighting a submarine.
AS YOU DO.
All that’s in the preview.
There are cars. they go fast. Furiously. Lots of them crash. Physics are ignored. There’s explosions and The Rock flexes a lot. Statham yells intensely and the veins in his forehead bulge. Statham does the fast and brutal fighting he does (which I love).
Both Statham and The Rock play off each other very well. There was not enough of their flirting.
I wanted to see this because Twitter started describing it as a romance, and it IS. It’s a enemies to something-more story between Jason Statham and The Rock and if you don’t think I want to plunk down good money for a DomCom with those two raising their kid while The Rock coaches soccer and Statham cooks and worries that his souffle is going to fall, you don’t know me at all. I WANT THAT.
Unfortunately, the script doesn’t seem to understand what it has in these two, and there’s no payoff! None!
CUE THE FANFIC WRITERS.
There is also a love triangle that involves the other people in the crew, and the resolution to that was perfect on several levels. You might remember Nathalie Emmanuel from Game of Thrones, and she has a delightful “don’t fucking waste my time” face. There’s also Tyrese Gibson and Chris “Ludacris” Bridges as this movie’s version of Those Two Guys, and the rapport that’s built up amongst these actors over the franchise is great.
It’s also the continuing story of Found Family, and how Ohana means no one is left behind or forgotten you don’t betray FAMILY (but only the family you’ve chosen- I don’t know where the blood family of any of these people are and I don’t think it matters?).
Now, I’m a big believer in Found Family, so this is a theme I like a lot. Of course, this plot could have been solved with a lot less angst and with a conversation, but hey. That’s no fun, right?
And this movie is all about FUN (and wrecking cars).
Can you see F8 without having seen the previous movies and still have a good sense of what’s going on? Yes! Do I know how these people all met? Nah. Do I need to? Apparently not.
Was there enough “as you know, this computer program you wrote two movies ago is a thing again!” designed for people like me who decided to go in blind? YES.
Was that maybe annoying for people who have seen the previous movies? Probably. Do the filmmakers care? No, because they like my money, too.
It was a lot of fun to see this in a first night theater with people who knew the franchise inside and out, and there were a lot of call backs to previous movies. While they were generally lost on me, the crowd hooted and hollered and cheered so that was a lot of fun. (Also special shout out to the person who gasped “OH SNAP” at a plot twist. Sometimes humans are great.)
Yes, I’ll be seeing the other movies- probably in order, but MAN that sounds pedestrian. And it’ll take like, 14 hours of my life at LEAST (that’s why I never saw F7- it seemed like such a commitment!).
It’s worth noting that this is one of the most successful film franchises in movie history, and it’s mostly all about people of color. And that’s super cool. And all these people are SUPER fun to watch because they’re talented and clearly comfortable with the roles they’ve been playing through 7+ films.
I’m giving this an A- because it’s basically ungradeable- it does exactly what it set out to do, and it was a lot of fun but a payoff – ANY payoff – with the Rock and Statham love story would have set this at an A.
The Fate of the Furious is in theaters now and tickets (US) are available at Fandango and Moviefone.
Thank you, RHG. My husband will no doubt want to see this movie, but I think I’ll stick to enjoying your review.
🙂
Oh, man, I hadn’t realized that if you went into F8 without seeing the previous movies you’d get to purely enjoy the slashy relationship of Statham and The Rock without thinking about how Statham’s character straight up murdered my favorite character in the franchise in a previous movie. I’m actually pretty jealous.
I have never seen one of these movies, but I would throw all the money in my purse at the Johnson/Statham masterpiece you described. I love those guys individually, and I imagine together they would be magical.
I also love Michelle Rodriguez, so if she, her arms, and her abs could play the busybody neighbor or involved teacher to one of the kids, that would be super.
I adore this franchise (RIP Paul Walker– I get choked up every time I hear “See You Again” from Furious 7), and took myself to see this at the crack of dawn last Saturday.
Is the plot ridiculous? Yeah. Are the car stunts even more ridiculous? Yeah. Is the movie vastly entertaining and everything you expected it to be? Hell yeah.
I, too, would watch a bromance movie with The Rock and Statham. That would be amazing.
My favorite scene was probably the first time you see the Rock– don’t want to spoil it, but I laughed so very hard.
I also agree with Kay about forgiving Statham’s character for past deeds– would have liked some kind of reckoning/explanation of that.
But go see it. The men are hot, the women are hot, the cars are hot, and it’s 2+ hours of adrenaline and “OH COME ON, NO WAY!”
I’ve never seen any of these movies but you’ve made me want to see this one for sure.
Smart Bitches can do what no one else on the damn planet can do; MAKE ME WATCH STUFF IN WHICH I HAD 0 PREVIOUS INTEREST!
First it’s The Bachelor Dude-Picks-A-Chick TV and now it’s this Speed Racer franchise. Like, YALL ARE MAGICIANS!
Btw now I want a shirt that says “Sometimes humans are great” on it.
I stopped watching after the second movie but a lot of my peers have seen the entire franchise. It’s been here for a little over half of our lives and I think it’s the magic of watching the characters grow up as we have from young teens (or car thieves who race fast cars) to adults who do adulting things (or former car thieves who now are adulting but race against Russian submarines); all packaged in a 2 hour movie just for you.
I’m glad you enjoyed the movie. The review made me *almost* want to go watch it…..almost. Maybe I’ll rent it one day.
@Jacqueline- I know, right? The bitchery is a wonderful place. It’s not just reviews of books I’d never have considered before, but even the pop culture-y stuff I’d blown off. Sooo many friends talked about the Bachelor and I just.didnt.get.it before now. I also have an entirely renewed interest in this FastFurious series if only for hot people doing hot things goodness and giddy explosions- plot be damned!
I watched this the other week as well, and I really enjoyed it. The Statham/The Rock relationship is definitely the best, they have such great chemistry. For fun, I went to look for fan fiction about the duo and to my great disappointment there was none. Untapped field, people! Someone get to it!
I’ll be honest though. The Rock is a kink all on his own for me. I can’t help it.
The nods to his old movies made me chuckle (Moana/Hercules).
Oh and the action is really good and over the top. Never go in to see a Furious movie and expect things to be realistic. (But then, you probably should never watch any action flick and expect it to be realistic.)
All in all, really enjoyed myself!
@Emily C GURL YESSSSS!!!!!
I love that this place opened my ass up the realization that, “HEY! MOFO! DON’T TURN YO NOSE UP BITCH, THAT’S WHAT PEEPS DO TO YOU AS A ROMANCE READER!”
Yeah, I used to be THAT person. Sigh. I was a problematic asshole, but luckily that was years ago.
But it isn’t just hitting me in the head about judgement; SBTB helps me understand WHY I should give shit a try. I listened to the podcast with Bea, Leah, and Carrie about The Bachelor yesterday AND I FINALLY UNDERSTAND! I don’t have any IRL friends so I don’t think I’d enjoy watching it without the viewing party dynamic, but damn. At least I understand now! I HAZ THE KNOWLEDGE!
@Emily ARE YOU SERIOUS?! Hell, I’ve not even watched this movie & I’m already emotionally invested in the Rock/Statham ship. I NEEDS THE EMOTASTICNESS & SMEXY SMUT, DAMMIT! Come on internet, you can do it. I have faith in you!
@Emily & @Jacqueline:
I’m guessing that fic writers are keeping Paul Walker (RIP) alive. AO3’s most written relationship is Dom/Brian by far.
(Yes, I went to check what could possibly top a slash ship in fanfiction land I’m invested in solely from this review. AO3 is just the easiest place to get the numbers from).
@Maite I AM NOT ALONE IN THIS ONLY REVIEW INSPIRED EMOTIONAL INVESTMENT!
Sorry for being screamy but a fangirl has to fangirl, yo.
It makes sense why that ship dominates the landscape. Thanks for giving us the 411! Cupid bless AO3 because that place is magic on unicorn ass.
DID YOU SEE THE PART WHERE THE ROCK REDIRECTED A TORPEDO WITH HIS BARE HAND???!? DID YOU SEE IT? I’m so hype about this movie (and the franchise in general) it was so good I loved it so much and that was my favorite part. Thank you that is all.
Oh man, I’d say this series is one of my guilty pleasures, but I’m not ashamed of my love for it. 🙂
My favorite, though it’s lacking Statham and his snark and his fighting style (which I’m totally with you on loving), is the fifth one, set in Brazil. The third on, Tokyo Drift, is only okay and is kind of weird in the timeline, but my favorite character is Han and that’s the movie where we get a TON of him.
Oh, and in the sixth one, there’s a scene with Tyrese and Ludacris and the Rock with a spit-take that was completely unscripted and genuine because of someone’s ad-lib. So the Those Guys label seems to be pretty realistic. 😉
You can basically skip Tokyo Drift. It’s pretty much not cannon any more, and only serves to introduce Han.
New to this site, but so far really loving it! Never saw any of these movies. Was sitting next to a young man going on and on about this franchise, and when he took a breath and looked at me for my response, I just apologized and said I’ve never seen them. It looked like his head might explode. Maybe he had a financial investment in this movie because he was trying to persuade me that my life has been incomplete without this. Since I a) don’t know the first thing about cars and 2) was old enough to be his mother, it was a very hard sell. I wonder what he would have done if I had asked if it was like Smokey and the Bandit with Burt Reynolds?
Love this site!
@Heather OMG HON NOW I SO BADLY WANT A SMOKEY & THE BANDIT FAST & THE FURIOUS MOVIE!
I didn’t even know that was a thing I needed until this very moment!
I’ve seen 0 of the films but from the sound of it, the Smokey/Bandit riffing dynamic and bromance seems to be part of the films. Plus there are vroom-vroom vehicles, so hey! You weren’t too off the mark it seems lol.
I saw it last week and besides really wanted Charlize’s character to get her ridiculus hair caught in a door, I enjoyed it. However, how has NOBODY mentioned that Dame Helen Mirren is in this movie! Not only in it, but BEGGED to be in it!
Also, and I almost feel like this is blasphamy to suggest it, but does anyone else get a Humphrey Bogart vibe from Vin Diesel? Granted Vin doesn’t have the vehicles – pun slightly intended – that Bogey did (Casablanca, The Maltese Falcon, etc, etc.), but there is a certain amount of certain man-of-few-words, one note acting, but but without being completely flat, that he does very well.
Completely agree that someone needs to do a The Rock/Stratham movie.
Dame Helen is in it??! I mean, I wanted to see it anyway but HOLD ME BACK.
(have y’all seen RED and RED 2? Talk about ridiculous, but … so much fun.)
I agree with Robin re: Vin Diesel = Humphrey Bogart. Would not have come up with that myself but I totally get it.
The Rock has entertained me consistently from Day 1. If you haven’t seen his turn in Be Cool … get thee to thy remote. Charlize kicks all the ass all the time. And Statham will always be Handsome Rob.
@robin: I didn’t mention that because I wanted everyone to be as surprised and delighted as I was.
As ever, I am my dad’s movie buddy and I’m pretty sure we’re going to see this this weekend. We’ve seen all of these pretty much from the fourth one on together. I love them, quite frankly (except for Tokyo Drift, which I never actually watched and am fine with not having done so). I know exactly how ridiculous they are, have accepted that they have nothing to do with the way physics or human bodies or linear continuity actually work, and I quite simply don’t care. I know exactly what I’m getting, which is a damn good time.
I LOVE THIS SERIES and I will defend it with my dying breath. I love it for SO MANY things, but a few reasons:
1. Fast cars. Improbable physics. TERRIBLE dialogue and actually some real bad acting from Vin Diesel (who may be the only one who doesn’t get that this movie isn’t meant to be prestige?)
2. Diversity, not just because of the cast, but also the CREW. The director of 4 of 8 of these movies has been Justin Lin, who started on #3 when he didn’t have many big credits to his name, and is now directing Star Trek movies. I think this is pretty cool.
3. I love that Paul Walker is the n00b and has to prove himself to a motely crew of mostly non-white people. It’s a fish out of water story in a different way.
4. For the most part (half naked girls waving flags notwithstanding; I’ve yet to come up with a way to dismiss that valid criticism), I like some of the gender roles it flips. The hacker turns out to be a woman. Someone who is a bit high strung and high maintenance is a guy. The first time Han expresses admiration for Gisele is after he sees her drive. I just really like how they treat the central cast of characters.
@Heather above, I do not know cars AT ALL but I still love the movies. I just go for the spectacle.
I read an interesting opinion piece on Buzzfeed (maybe?) a few years ago that argued that #3 (Tokyo Drift, frequently cited as the worst of the franchise) is actually the BEST, which I thought was an interesting argument. Essentially, the franchise was thought to be dead in the water after the non-success of #2, which is probably why they rolled with a less experienced director and a cast full of relative unknowns. But the surprise success and revenue made them realize they could make more, and I really think the back half of movies (#5-7 for sure; #4 was kind of a clunker) benefited from the reboot.
ORDER TO WATCH:
My personal theory is that it should go: 2, 1, 4, 5, 6, 3, 7, and 8. #2 is kind of an outlier, and I choose to dismiss a tiny bit of the plot/mentall alter details so that #2 is a prequel to the setup of #1. And the ending of #6 + the opening parts of #7 mean that #3 slots inbetween much better.
OK, that was a lot of words about this franchise. Thanks for letting me go on about it here. My IRL friends are REAL TIRED of this monologue of mine.
UPDATE! Found that Buzzfeed opinion piece!!
https://www.buzzfeed.com/alisonwillmore/one-last-ride
Archive of Our Own has a few Shaw/Hobbs stories in the Fate of the Furious section. Fanfic writers tend to like more of a contrast between their pairs (probably why Dom and Brian were so popular, which I never got – I like Dom and Letty!) than you get with the large and macho Rock and Statham.
Yeah, I saw the first movie in this series when I was pregnant with my first child and tomorrow, he’s driving me to go see the movie (he’s almost 16). Time flies!!!
You all know The Rock is coming out with a Baywatch reboot this summer, right? I was thinking just today about it and planning to go with my movie spouse – Mr. Richland is not so into things like that.
Maybe we should pick a SBTB night to see it across the country and then all get together back here?
And, I confess I’ve never seen any of the Fast and Furious movies, but something about the press around this one made me decide to start the franchise. I still think I’ll start with #1 though. (As soon as I finish Season 3 of Bosch which dropped last night!!!)
The first Fast and the Furious is essentially the exact same movie as (the original) Point Break only instead of surfing and stealing money from banks they are racing cars and stealing electronics from big rigs on the highway. Which is still entertaining, mind you.
This movie was insane and stupid and I loved every minute of it. I’ve faithfully followed this franchise since it came out, seen every movie in the theater. I LOVE these characters. One of my favorite things about this franchise is that you definitely get the sense while watching that these people are here making this movie because it is fun and they love it. They’ve sold the found family so much that I have to believe the actors are another meta layer of found family behind the scenes. Another thing is, there are scenes where the actors are kind of laughing at how ridiculous something is, and the audience is laughing at it too, and it’s like we all KNOW (the characters, the actors, the audience) that this submarine coming out of the ocean like a giant metal great white / breaching whale is the most stupid shit ever… we all know it and we’re all in on it together and it’s AWESOME. It’s just fun. So much stupid ridiculous fun.
Also the plot twists in this movie, are BANANAS and massive for long time fans. Just massive lol. Massive fun. Yes.
Would also watch the hell out of a statham / rock romance.
It’s funny you mentioned there should be a Rock-Jason S. movie pairing, because right before I read this I saw an article on IMDB that said Universal is developing a spin-off for those two.
My husband says that there is a stand alone movie with rock and statham in talks. Fingers crossed for the next installement of the fast and the homosexual
#5 was my gateway into the F&F world. Still think it’s my favorite. Did a marathon of all the movies last year with our 15 year old exchange student son – Great memories of that weekend.
I thought this might be the place to share–long time fan of Jason Statham and the Fast and Furious franchise…anyway, my DH found me this 🙂 http://9gag.com/tv/p/a9M2mR/jason-statham-dancing-in-leopard-print-underwear?ref=fbp