I’m going to pay Lady Audley’s Secret the highest compliment I can pay a sensation novel: I kept finding great passages to bookmark but I didn’t bookmark them because I didn’t want to stop reading long enough to do so.

That made for a great reading experience but it will make for a superficial review considering all the meaty stuff in this book that we could happily analyze for days if I had just slowed down long enough to use some post-it notes instead of flipping pages like a squirrel on cocaine.

Lady Audley’s Secret was published in three-volume form in 1862, after initially being published as a serial story for magazines. It begins by introducing Lucy Graham, a young, beautiful governess, who marries the much older and very rich Sir Michael Audley. Everyone adores the new Lady Audley, who is sweet, beautiful, and passive (she is constantly described in infantilizing terms).

Everyone, that is, but Sir Audley’s grown-up daughter from a previous marriage. This daughter, Alicia, resents her stepmother for usurping Alicia’s role as lady of the house. Lady Audley and Alicia avoid each other, which is easy because the house is huge. Alicia spends a lot of time riding horses and wishing her cousin Robert would notice her (more about Robert presently), and Lady Audley spends most of her time hanging out with her maid and playing with her jewelry:

All her amusements were childish. She hated reading, or study of any kind, and loved society; rather than be alone she would admit Phoebe Marks [the maid] into her confidence, and loll on one of the sofas in her luxurious dressing room, discussing a new costume for some dinner party, or sit chattering to the girl, with her jewel box beside her, upon the satin cushions, and Sir Michael’s presents spread out in her lap, while she counted and admired her treasures.

The plot shifts to the city, where we meet Sir Audley’s lazy nephew, Robert, who becomes close friends with a man named George Talbot. George spent three years in Australia making shit tons of money before returning to England just in time to hear that his wife, who he had left behind in England, died just before his boat landed. Robert spends the next year trying to cheer George up. He takes George with him to visit the Audleys and when George mysteriously disappears mid-visit, Robert devotes himself to solving the mystery of George’s disappearance. Robert’s efforts take up most of the book.

Here are some topics I could have delved into if I weren’t too busy finding out what fresh hell was about to unfold:

1. AUSTRALIA!
2. Virgin/Whore paradoxes
3. Is Robert possibly attracted to George? Yes, he has a romance with George’s sister, but only after pointing out repeatedly that she is just like George in appearance and personality .
4. The definition of madness
5. Class mobility
6. The development of the modern detective novel
7. Gothic Noir. This has the look of Gothic (tapestries, insanity, secret passages, wandering around rambling houses in the dead of night with a candle) and the characters of Noir.

These are all important issues but I cannot address them because I was busy turning pages. We know from the title that Lady Audley has a Secret and if you cannot guess at least one of her secrets based on the above plot summary then clearly you have never read a book before, but there are plenty of twists and turns to keep the reader occupied. I don’t want to go into detail because I don’t want to spoil anything.

Regarding romance – there is romance, but as befits Gothic Noir, it’s all pretty icky. Robert has a romance with George George’s angelic sister, and Alicia wants to have a romance with Robert, but Robert only sees her as a friend. Ostensibly that’s because Alicia is too much of a tomboy for Robert, who prefers to date angelic women who look just like his best guy friend. The modern reader will note that Robert and Alicia are also first cousins, but that was not unusual at the time.

Meanwhile, the whole story kicks into gear because Sir Michael falls for Lucy, which makes for a pragmatic and fond marriage made creepy by the fact that Lucy, while being Sir Michael’s wife, acts like a very stoned five-year-old.

The most interesting thing about this book is to wonder who Victorian readers would have sided with. I see this book as incredibly subversive, but perhaps Victorian readers took it at face value. It was wildly popular, touching on all kinds of anxieties about domestic life, the inner lives of women, upward mobility, and mental illness.

What keeps this book fun is the feeling that the reader never knows what move is coming next. What makes the book interesting is that every character’s true self becomes revealed, not only to the readers but also to themselves. It’s a story of façade versus reality, even in the case of minor characters. Lady Audley is not the only one with a secret! The novel is available in paperback or for .99 on Amazon (Ebook price). It’s not a romance, but I think fans of Victorian literature will love it as will readers who love crazysauce plots, noir, mysteries, the gothic style, and swooning. Enjoy!