Book Review

Drive Me Crazy by Tracy Wolff

In an effort to read things I already own, I’ve been letting a random number generator decide which book to pick up next. It’s not going so great, if you want me to be honest because, boy, do I have a lot of things lurking on my Kindle. I don’t remember how half of them got there.

This is one of those books and I didn’t make it to the end.

Quinn Bradford and Elise McKinney were on the piano prodigy circuit when they were in their teens. I’m not sure if this is actually a thing as I don’t listen to classical music. They have a bit of a playful, prank-filled relationship.

The majority of what I read takes place a decade later. Elise is in the hospital following a horrific car accident that claimed the life of her manager. She’s a concert pianist and, in the accident, she suffered several injuries. Most devastatingly, her hand was mangled and would need several surgeries to even remotely reach its full strength.

Quinn is part of a popular rock group that has appeared on magazine covers and won countless awards. He’s kind of a big deal. When he hears about Elise’s accident, he goes to visit her in the hospital.

I try to give a book around seventy-five pages (give or take) before I call it quits. As I was reading this on my Kindle, I’m not too sure how far I got. However, I stopped before their hospital reunion scene was even over. Operating on a “three strikes and you’re out” rule, there were three distinct issues that caused me increasing infuriation and I just knew I wasn’t going to enjoy this book.

Strike 1: Needless jealousy

Elise has been in the hospital for awhile by now. I’m unsure of the actual time, but enough to have at least one surgery. When Quinn arrives, he brings a backpack full of necessities and toiletries put together by his friend’s fiancee.

Elise comments about how thoughtful that is, to which Quinn agrees that his friend’s fiancee is a pretty nice person.

Cue jealousy!

Elise is very, very jealous of this other woman.

Meanwhile, Elise hasn’t seen Quinn in ten years. Their last time together, he swiped her v-card (a fact that gets mentioned over and over) and then bails on her. He doesn’t text or call or write. I get that the lack of closure might cause Elise to still have some unresolved feelings for Quinn, but he just said that this woman is engaged to another dude. Yet, one innocuous compliment from Quinn, and Elise feels the talons of the dreaded green-eyed monster.

It seemed so silly and made me worry for any future mentions of other women. God forbid Quinn talks to another woman in this entire romance. I’d hate to think how Elise would react.

But overall, this was the only moment from Elise that made me a bit grumpy. The rest of the issues I had solely rested with Quinn.

Strike 2: Hospital boners

Elise goes to change into one of the nightshirts that was in her backpack stash. Upon coming out of the bathroom, her legs give out and Quinn catches her. That touch is enough for him to pop a boner. He can’t stop thinking about her hard nipples, even though he knows he shouldn’t be thinking sex thoughts right now.

Correct. He shouldn’t. And I physically recoiled during his ogling.

Okay, first. Hospitals are fucking freezing. I have never not been cold at a hospital. I don’t blame Elise for blasting her high-beams. She’s probably not even aware of it and just wants to get back into bed and under a million layers of those wafer-thin blankets.

Elise is also pretty bruised up and has stitches in her forehead. It just made me feel so gross at how vulnerable Elise was, physically and emotionally, but yet we get a couple paragraphs about Quinn’s dick. The poor woman has stitches IN HER FACE and he wants to focus on her hard nips? NO THANKS.

Injuries aside, it’s revealed that Elise has lost several people important to her. In the past year, her dad died and her fiancé called off their engagement. Then, she loses her manager in an accident that she survived. This poor woman is going to need a lot of therapy of all sorts and her career may very well be over. Quinn’s dick is the last thing any of us need to be worrying about.

Strike 3: Privacy

As I mentioned before, Quinn bailed on Elise after taking her virginity and ghosted her. He had a little man-trum about how Elise is too good for him and yada yada yada. He then shows up a decade later to bring her flowers and check on her at the hospital, after hearing about her accident.

Elise, naturally, has a moment of WTF. She’s standoffish and doesn’t tell him the full extent of her injuries. Why should she? It’s none of his goddamn business and she’s still raw with not only grief, but the long road of physical therapy she has ahead.

Quinn suspects that Elise’s condition is worse than she is making it seem. While she’s asleep, he decides to poke around her medical chart.

Let me repeat that.

He looks at her medical records while she is sleeping!

Dude.

Come on.

After the stunt you pulled on a teenage Elise, do you honestly think she owes you anything? Least of all, divulging to you after years apart how her condition could keep her from playing piano ever again? I’m sure just seeing Quinn, a man who also is gifted with playing piano, is a harsh reminder for Elise.

These three things were just one scene. One. I legitimately worried for my blood pressure if I continued any further.

I have no time for a hero who can’t respect boundaries. And who has a dick like a nosy landlord, popping in at the most random and inconvenient of times.

Pass.

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Drive Me Crazy by Tracy Wolff

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  1. Sandra says:

    Ummm, how did he even have access to her medical charts? I work in a health related industry and HIPAA and patient privacy is a serious issue. The days when they left the charts hanging off the end of the bed are long gone, if they ever existed outside soaps. For that matter, it’s all digital these days. My GP uses a laptop. No paper records for him.

  2. Antipodean Shenanigans says:

    Ok ok, but wait there’s more. In the next book in the series, the hero is a recovering heroin addict, and the heroine’s name is…

    wait for it…

    Poppy!

  3. Ren Benton says:

    Quinn’s dick is the last thing any of us need to be worrying about.

    So much this. I’ve reached the point where I stop reading at the first mention of hyperexcitable dick.

  4. K says:

    Between the phrase man-trum and the nosy landlord dick reference, I’m losing it with my coffee here! Thanks for a great morning pick me up with the DNF warning!

  5. Lora says:

    Can I get a judge’s ruling on something?
    Why in the name of all that is holy did a grown ass man need to ask his friend’s fiancee (a woman) to cchoose essentials for Elise? Does he, as a boner popping dude, not need things like toothpaste or shampoo? How could someone sooo masculine possibly conceive of the items a person would need in a hospital? Um, soap that doesnt dry out your hands or stink like antiseptic, a robe, some socks… things that men use as well as ladyfolks. Is he this stupid? Are men incapable in this universe of thinking or being practical? Or does the task smack of nurturing and would turn him into a big lady if he tried to be considerate? SMH. This guy needs to take his hyper dick and go away.

  6. MirandaB says:

    If I was visiting someone in a hospital that I hadn’t seen in a long time, I wouldn’t bring toiletries because I would figure the person had closer friends/family who would bring her what she needed. I might grab a few random magazines/crossword book and a card for the initial visit.

    While I was there, I would use my words and ASK if I could pick anything up for the person and get her specific requests.

  7. Katty says:

    @Ren Benton: I had a lot of fun the other weekend reading “Mr McHottie” by Pippa Grant (recommended on this site) which also has a dude with a hyperexcitable dick (thanks for that excellent expression, BTW!). But then, the hyperexcitability (?) was mutual and everything in the story was so larger than life and over the top that it hit just the right amount of fantasy – and humor, lots of humor – to be able for me to enjoy a contemporary romance.
    That said, this is totally the exception and only worked because it kind of made fun of itself. Otherwise I absolutely agree with you – ugh for men and their dicks who have no sense of appropriate timing whatsoever.

  8. robot says:

    Ugh, that jealousy isn’t great. If she’s jealous of how close they are in like, a friendship way, I can sort of see it, with the unresolved feelings and their history. But that gendered/romantic aspect of it is just awful.

    I’m also super over men who have to think about their dick constantly. I dnf’d a governess/employer romance the other day because it *started* with him constantly thinking about how hot she was and how hard it was to be professional. I don’t mind reading fiction that navigates those power dynamics, but when you start in a bad place like that, how am I supposed to respect this dude?

  9. Cat C says:

    @Amanda, tell me more about this random number generator technique! I have 400 books on my Kindle TBR, and I am ashamed.

  10. Critterbee says:

    Amanda, I have the same problem with my kindle! I have started doing a random pick plan (clean sweep) and it has helped me weed out some bad titles.
    At least for me hoarding books on the kindle keeps things neat. Those books do not overflow into the physical realm – I only have print copies of books I love or that mean something to me.

  11. Amanda says:

    @Cat C: It’s not a perfect system, but it’s been interesting so far! I have a TBR shelf, my Goodreads, and my Kindle. I start by using a number generator online (or Siri on an iPhone can do it) to pick 1-5. 1-3 corresponds to shelves on my TBR bookshelf, 4 is my Kindle, and 5 is Goodreads.

    Lately, the generator has been favoring 4. I think pick a number 1-26 for the alphabet. You can decide if you want the chosen letter to correspond to the title or author name. And you can whittle it down from there, using a generator to pick between the books that say begin with L. Or what I do is have it pick another 1-26 letter next and keep going and going and going.

    So the first letter might be L, then O, etc. Does that make sense?

  12. So if your random generator gives you L then O, how do you NOT get sidetracked into rereading Lord of Scoundrels?

    You have the self-control of a grown up, you clearly do.

  13. Anonymous says:

    I admit that I’m not really bothered by heroes getting incongruous erections per se, because it’s my understanding that guys don’t really have a lot of control over their boner situations. For me it really depends on how the dude handles his boner. If he’s abashed and does his best to ignore it, then okay, no harm no foul, but if he lets it completely take over his thinking, or if he starts projecting it on the other woman (like the stuff with the hard nipples, ffs guys), that’s something else entirely.

  14. MirandaB says:

    @Anonymous, yeah, if he’d thought something like “wtf NOW IS NOT THE TIME” and gone on with things, I don’t see a problem.

  15. Cat C says:

    @Amanda Yes, I love it! Interesting using it to initially pick a source as well. I’d be in big, big trouble with Goodreads, since it’s kind of like my addiction to free books gone wild (all I have to do is click to say I’m interested, and it doesn’t cost anything!) and I have like 3,000 “Want to Reads” on Goodreads. But yes, I can definitely see applying it to my own structure. And now I am excitedly thinking about ways to use multiple RANDBETWEEN functions in Excel to choose the entire path at once (say, library vs owned, physical vs digital, first two letters), because I = spreadsheet dork.

  16. Lexica says:

    Cat C, I feel confident in saying you are not the only spreadsheet dork, and that there are likely several of us who would gaze admiringly at any such spreadsheet you cared to share…

  17. kitkat9000 says:

    I don’t know if should say this, but I’ve read this book recently-ish. Before buying unknown-to-me authors, I check my library. Sometimes I still purchase but not always. My library has a lot of ebooks and this was one. Not sure if I heard of it through a sale post or what, but I’m pretty sure it was through here. (Sorry!)

    That said, I don’t recall much about it, nor do I remember being that irritated. Definitely would not have remembered it if not for the description. Which really says it all, don’t ya think?

    Long aside: There seems to be myriad books available today from mostly YA/NA female authors, though there are others, that all have the same things: consent issues, douche-bros, hyperexcitable dicks, fridging, irrational and/or stupid behavior from both MC’s, uberalphaholes, mansplaining, needlessly bitchy exe’s, etc. Sometimes these are DNF’s, sometimes they’re hate-reads (looking at you, Kristin Ashley; Note to self: Never (!) read more than one of hers at a time) or sometimes they’re cathartic- while reading them I point out everything wrong and why.

    Oddly, my dog & cats are extremely unappreciative of this, though it might possibly have something to do with my volume.

  18. DiscoDollyDeb says:

    Is it possible this book was a freebie or 99-cent download at one time? I also have it on my kindle and it doesn’t seem at all like something I’d purchase—but for free (or less than a dollar) I’d give it a try. I have so many books that I got as free downloads. I’ve had mixed success with them: some are DNFs, but once in a while I discover a really good writer (Ruthie Knox, Sierra Simone) and go on a binge of their books.

  19. quizzie says:

    Agreeing with Sandra here. I worked for a couple of years in Medical Records at our local hospital and privacy was something you respected from the get go. I might know a lot about a patient when I’m inputting their data but it’s between the patient and their doctor.If someone tried to sneak a peek without the patient’s consent that’s time to call security not a second chance at romance.

  20. Cat C says:

    @Lexica, thanks for giving me an excuse to avoid work. This is something I threw together, could be way fancier (I’m sure there’s ways to create IF statements to avoid letter combinations like BK), but meh. Uh, hopefully this View-Only link works? https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1hqi7my77CGJnttFu7CQFc4rCj2yAE90cf9vupMfO8P8/edit?usp=sharing
    For anyone not familiar with Google Sheets, Sarah listed advice on how to access and copy a Google sheet in a previous post:
    http://smartbitchestrashybooks.com/2017/06/stuff-like-pack-light-travel-fast-part-iii-calm-traveler-family-packing-list/
    Yay technology! Please tell me if I did something wrong like accidentally doxxed myself 🙂

  21. Susan says:

    As someone whose hand (among other body parts) was mangled in a car accident I’d have gone into this with some trepidation right from the start but, barring the issues you had, might have still given it a chance depending on how her recovery (mental and physical) played out. I spent years going through surgeries and PT for my hand with the outcome still being disfigurement, partial usage, and frequent pain. If Elise is magically cured–even to the point where she could play *anything* on the piano–within a couple of months, that would really set me off. Books/movies that take the tack that anything’s possible with dedication and the right attitude minimize what real people really go through. I know I’m overly-sensitive to this issue, and that books/movies are just stories and not real life. I also don’t know that this is remotely what happens in this particular book, but I’d be on edge the whole time waiting for it. That’s my baggage.

  22. Maite says:

    Wow, Amanda, you are weeding out the TBR with a three-strike policy? Brave.
    I don’t last longer then one.
    Then again, my entire TBR is composed by free ebooks, so I know there is no money wasted.
    (One of the few advantages of living in a third world country: even if the ebook is available, none of the mayor players will take my debit card.
    If they did, I’d be broke)

  23. I’m glad I’m not the only one struggling with a huge TBR pile (physical books and ebooks). Thank you for sharing about the random number generator idea, Amanda. I will try that! I find that the more books I have to read, the easier it is for me to “DNF” a book. If it doesn’t hook me in about three chapters, BYE. Too many books to read, too little time! I do have a question. When you DNF a book, do you delete it from your kindle? Also, what about the books you finish but know you won’t read again? I’ve been debating on how to best organize my ebooks. Thanks in advance!

  24. Amanda says:

    @E.C. Fountain: I usually use the “collection” feature to label books by genre, grade, and whether it was an ARC. I’m a bit of a digital packrat, so I don’t have it in my heart to completely delete things. Once my Kindle collection gets big enough, though, I might have to start doing that.

  25. Katie C. says:

    I think I MIGHT be able to get past points one and two. On the jealousy, I know I have had unkind or bitchy thoughts about someone pop into my head from time to time (not necessarily jealous thoughts – could be snarky or mean) and I’m like, self, that isn’t nice (and being grumpy because of your injuries and stuck in the hospital would probably make that worse). And on point the second, I agree with the previous commenter that sometimes someone’s body may react even when you don’t want it to (and it doesn’t have to be sexual – think inappropriate laughter). And the reason I could probably cope with those is that they are both internal thoughts and feelings. As human beings, we have a variety of thoughts and feelings that run the spectrum from nice to horrid and from totally appropriate to totally not.

    However on point the third, that would derail me. It would be one thing for the hero to speculate and wonder that the heroine’s condition is worse than she is letting on – internal musings, fine. But then to take action on it and invade someone’s privacy to find out is SO NOT FINE. When the internal becomes external says much more about a character.

    As for digging through my immense physical TBR, I have things split into to romance, mystery and other. For the romance, I am roughly trying to read the ones I acquired the longest time ago and then moving on to newer and newer purchases. For mystery, I am trying to rotate between reading the first book in a new series, then a mystery from one of my series in progress reading and then a standalone mystery or thriller. For other I have been pushing myself to rotate through various sub-categories that I have set up like biography, then children’s lit, then a classic, then a book about food or farming, then a graphic novel, etc. I just finished my historical fiction read of Wolf Hall and soon am going to start on my next sub-category which is History. This system is in addition to all the books I read for the three book clubs I am in.

  26. Gwen says:

    On Strike 3 – ugh what a horrible nosy boundary-crossing thing to do. But also fairly unbelievable – did he fit in some kind of health field training in those busy previous ten years? Medical records are not easy to understand, especially super-specialized evaluations and procedures. And good luck finding relevant info in an electronic medical record system he’s not familiar with. Did he hack the login and password?

    Damn suspension of disbelief. I find it so much more difficult in contemporaries.

  27. Callalily says:

    I hate how so many books just think privacy doesn’t matter when someone is injured or sick or disabled. I just posted a rant a couple days ago about a book where the heroine is paralyzed, and it’s uncertain whether she can enjoy sex or not (and that part was completely medically wrong, too), and the hero is trying to figure out whether this will be an issue for him, and he discusses it with his mother, his father, his brother, and her brother. The first three should have no part of this to begin with, and her brother did know about her injuries, but that was the world’s most cringe-inducing conversation ever, with her brother asking the hero about whether he’d be satisfied with having a boring sex life with her.

  28. @Amanda and @Katie C.: Thank you for sharing how you deal with your TBR piles. I love hearing ideas from other readers!

  29. Megan M. says:

    @Susan #21, have you ever read The Sea of Tranquility by Katja Millay? I read it years ago so don’t remember every detail but I really loved it and it involves the heroine losing the use of her hand and being unable to continue with music, and I’m pretty sure the book does not involve her hand being magically fixed at the end.

  30. ZoeQ says:

    Can you imagine being in the hospital with a devastating injury that potentially could be a career ending event? Then the AHole that took your virginity aka hit it & quit it shows up out of the blue with a bag of toiletries that his fiancée put together for you? Without knowing anything about you other than what this AHole told her about you? After so many years he clearly doesn’t know you & never did! Sorry this is making me shouty!!

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