Book Review

Book Rant: Makeovers? Come On Now.

Cartoon angry woman yelling into phone, with This Book Rant is from Sarah (no, not me, a more different Sarah) who read a book with A Makeover Scene. One that was so preposterous she had to email me about it. She wrote me this a few months ago, but it’s never too late to discuss absurd makeovers, right? Right.


I just finished a book and I have a rant. I’ve never posted on here before, though I lurk all the time, so I hope you don’t mind. I’m sure people have commented on this problem before – but this was such an egregious case that I needed to vent to someone, somewhere. I hope it’s not an imposition.

Nevertheless: what’s up with romance heroes doing makeovers for their heroines? Is this supposed to show their sensitive side? I’ve seen this before (quite a bit) in regencies and westerns, and I guess I kind of bought it – or at least past over it without too much thought – in those settings (it’s potentially a lot more believable in times/places where a) there’s not much variety in available clothing anyway and/or b) women had serious sewing skills and could have re-sized and reworked the dresses for themselves off-screen or something) but I just encountered an extremely ridiculous variation on this theme in a contemporary. It completely soured me on a book that was pretty good up until that point.

Lori Foster's Jude's Law - The cover has a single cherry on it. The book is Lori Foster’s Jude’s Law. Here’s the gist: May is living with Jude for protection until stuff with the bad guy gets sorted out. She came to his house in a borrowed outfit that doesn’t fit, because she was on the run, and Jude won’t go get her stuff from her house because a) it might be dangerous and b) he doesn’t like her usual wardrobe.

Oh, and May is very pointedly a “larger” heroine, with boobs and a butt. She usually wears business suits to try to hide all that, but we’re told from the very beginning that Jude isn’t sold on her fashion sense. So, over May’s protests, Jude does some online shopping and has a whole new wardrobe shipped to his place overnight (while she’s asleep). In the morning, when the stuff arrives, May – reasonably enough, in my opinion – is dubious and thinks the clothes won’t fit.

Jude shoves a pair of jeans and a cami at her and tells her to change. May takes the clothes into the bathroom, falls in love with the fabric, and… you already knew that the clothes fit her to a tee, right? May is delighted, because of course SHE’S never been able to find clothing that fits properly, and proceeds to model everything Jude bought – which is a lot – for him.

Now, there are so very many things wrong with this, I don’t even know where to begin. For one thing, Jude doesn’t know May’s size. There’s no way he could even have sneaked away and checked it or something at night, since she comes to his house in an outfit borrowed from a (skinnier) friend and had previously refused his offer of buying her clothing, so obviously she hadn’t told him that info. Heck, Jude makes a point of being nervous about it before she comes out of the bathroom, since he knows that if he screwed it up then May won’t give him another chance to dress her (is she a doll, or something?). Ok, so Jude’s a famous actor, so maybe he knows style, and he’s been with a lot of women (though skinner ones), so maybe he knows women’s sizing?

Or maybe he’s been hanging out with Clinton Kelly? EXCEPT THAT HE CAN’T, BECAUSE AS CLINTON KELLY WOULD TELL YOU NOT EVERY BRAND’S SIZING IS THE SAME.

Heck, even within the same store, you don’t have a guarantee that everything that’s the same size will fit! That’s the awesomeness (and endless frustration) of women’s clothing! So how could Jude possibly pick out clothing that would fit a woman – a curvy woman, mind you – whose size he doesn’t know? And then, to get them ON THE INTERNET? I wouldn’t get clothes for *myself* on the internet, not unless I could get a guaranteed return, and even then I’d call it more of a longshot than its worth. I *certainly* wouldn’t trust my husband anywhere near a store (I highly doubt he knows my size… hm, does that mean he’s not sensitive?), much less the internet, to buy me clothes!

Second of all, there’s no way that Jude’s picks actually worked. Because we’re told – repeatedly – that May is busty. And the first thing he asks her to try on is a cami. As in, a cami SANS BRA. This, people, does not work. Not on any planet, not with any kind of planetary gravity. Physics is against you. If you have big boobs – or even moderately sized boobs – you need a bra with that cami. Period, full stop. Or hey, maybe Jude’s mansion is in a specially gravitated zone where boobs don’t droop without special help? Can I have one of those???

I don’t read many contemporaries – in fact, I generally avoid them – but this one particularly pained me because I was feeling great about it. And then… well, Jude bought May clothes and not only did the jeans miraculously fit (seriously?) but a cami defied gravity. Maybe now at least I’ve figured out what the book’s title is all about. Jude’s Law: the law that says that if a romance hero buys you clothes, BY GOLLY BUT THEY WILL FIT, COME HELL OR HEFTY BOOBS.

I could go on. I ranted at my husband, but he (like any proper male) laughed but obviously didn’t quite get why a cami is so ridiculous in this situation. Why on earth would a female romance novel author write such a silly scene???


Oh, girl, sing it, sing it loud. As I wrote to Sarah, isn’t that the BEST, when the hero can magically outfit the heroine in clothing that magically fits and flatters and is something she’d never have thought to try herself but is effortlessly chic? COME ON NOW.

This has happened in so many books, historical, contemporary, you name it. It’s hilarious. I think my husband would be horrified if he were charged with the task of buying me an entire wardrobe of clothing. Women’s clothing sizes don’t make any sense to me, much less him.

I think this is one of the ultimate women’s fantasyland elements of romance: a man who can shop for us without fear and who buys us things we’d never think to try ourselves. Amazing.

Categorized:

Ranty McRant

Add Your Comment →

  1. Does Jude do housecalls? Because I *hate* clothes shopping for my fat arse.

    The ‘but, miss X – you’re beautiful without your glasses’ trope (eg http://boards.straightdope.com… ) is in fun in a movie because you can see it all work but it still assumes that women are children or dolls to be played with by men. In a book where you have time to stop, think, and go ‘WTF?’ it just can’t work because the author has to keep *telling* you about the amazing change. You won’t see it like you do in a movie, and the hero gushing over his transformed Pygmalion isn’t an adequate substitute.

    Perfectly fitting jeans and a big backside? Never seen it. Jeans aren’t kind to the bootilicious or the morbidly obese.

  2. Flo_over says:

    I recall another story by Lori Foster wherein the hero notices the plus sized heroine AFTER she quits as his mother’s secretary.  He only notices her after he catches his cheating fiancee and the heroine is caught out in the rain and soooo her normally baggy ugly sweater is STUCK to her body.  He makes a point to wax poetic how her curvy figure looks great in tight clothing.

    OK.  That’s just a damned lie.  Unless you are a plus sized model (and are wearing Spanx) or have the damned luck of the Irish, curvy/pudgy is going to fall in various places and NONE of those places look good with WET WOOL ATTACHED TO THEM.  Sweet Lawdy!  Bulky sweaters don’t magically wet down and iron out love handles!

    Moving on… heroine then gets a job at a diner.  One owned by the hero’s brother (I’m already skeeved).  The uniform dress is tight.  So tight that the heroine has to try it on in FRONT of the hero and there is this supposed to be sexy scene in front of the mirror but turns out really creepy because he’s all “I love your camel toe.”  And she’s all “Noooooo I’m fat!”  And he responds with “Yeah, but I love it when you put tight clothing over your fat, look I have a boner because of it.”

    At this point no one.  NO ONE.  N. O.  O.  N.  E.  Is in the moment.  There is no moment.  It is obliterated in time.

    So perhaps this is a particular kink or writing quirk of Lori Foster.

  3. Jamarleo says:

    This reminds me of an awesome mystery called ‘Little Stranger’.  You knew that the nominal hero was starting his merry descent into crazy when he started shopping for a whole new wardrobe for his fiancee.

  4. Jeannie S. says:

    Hey, I’m not well endowed and I still would not be caught without a bra. It’s kind of a trashy look, so many elements of wrong. These days though, women do wear bras under camis as sort of a fashion statement (sometimes they’re prettier than the top). Maybe she did that?

  5. Ellie Ashe says:

    I had a boyfriend in the mid-1990a who helped me pick out a style of jeans that looked just awesome on me and saved me from a decade of mom jeans. Year later, I ran into that guy and his boyfriend. So, yeah. I have lived through two of my own most hated tropes. The make-over and the sassy gay friend.

  6. Necromommycon says:

    Isn’t there a scene in Fifty Shades of Grey where the heroine wakes up to find new clothes courtesy of what’s-his-name’s manservant? Which is even creepier than the guy somehow magically knowing her size, in my opinion. He had his *employee* look her over carefully enough to buy her clothes that fit? Eww.

  7. Courttani says:

    I remember reading this book and thinking the same thing about the cami! I work at a thrift store and one of the things I love about working there is, when you try on a pair of jeans, you know they will fit because they have already been washed and won’t shrink! When Jude gave her the pants and clothes that’s what I was thinking, “Well, they may fit now but once you wash them, they are not going to fit anymore.”

  8. ReadinginAK says:

    My own prince (so to speak) once went to buy sheets for a double bed and came back with twin size, because “twins are double people, right”? Um… Thus, my confidence in his ability to pick my size without one of us feeling badly… Is non-existent. 

  9. CarrieS says:

    OK, I thought of one time, and one time only, when a similiar scene worked great – Bond and Vesper buying each other seductive spy outfits in Casino Royale – the banter was great.  but the scene worked because of the underlying understanding that it was an intrusion for them to buy each other makeover clothes.  Daniel Craig’s look of bafflement when he says, “This is tailored!” is made of win.  Otherwise, nope not buying it.

  10. MissB2U says:

    “…nothing flat…” Snort!!!

  11. ksattler says:

    I have read this book.  I remember this very scene.  It and a few others were highly fantastical and over the top.

  12. cleo says:

    Yeah, I do think this is a Lori Foster thing – I remember a short story of hers where the hero talks the heroine into one night together for some reason (oh, wait – it’s coming back to me – they work together at the FBI, they hate each other, but then he realizes that he’s secretly hot for her so he promises to transfer to another city if she’ll spend one night with him – as one does).  She shows up for their night together in her baggy “ugly” clothes, and he’s bought a bra, dress and shoes for her to wear – and they all fit magically, including the bra.  That’s where my suspension of disbelief snapped (so to speak).

  13. Isabel C. says:

    Down to personal taste, I guess. I’m relatively small and don’t wear one: it’s more comfortable that way. I don’t *think* I look trashy, but I haven’t taken a poll or anything. 😉

  14. Heck, I haven’t gone braless since I started getting boobs, even in a bathing suit I need a bra!

    Granted, I’ve always had a fantasy about someone buying me a whole new flattering wardrobe, but they’d also have to pay for a lot of plastic surgery first. And internet buying? Does not work unless you’re buying a replacement piece you already know will fit.

    Are we sure Lori is really a woman and that’s not just the pen name for a man writing romance novels?

  15. Rebecca says:

    I agree it’s not the most plausible scenario in the world, but it wouldn’t send me into a rant.  I haven’t read the book in question, but I think if I read “cami” without bra I would assume one of those with a built-in shelf bra, like the kind I use for yoga.  They’re pretty common, and since they’re stretchy they come in basically “small” “medium” and “large” sizes, which would work under the circumstances.  Maybe the jeans are using European sizes (i.e. in centimeters, which is actually an objective measure that someone could probably guess at pretty easily).  Maybe it’s just a wildly lucky guess.  No more implausible than the invariable multiple orgasms for virgins, and equally a wishful fantasy.

    As far as the bra thing goes…meh.  I don’t need one for support except if I’m running.  The major issue is nipple show-through, and that’s something that would be more of an issue for work or formal situations.  Modeling something indoors for a guy I was attracted to it wouldn’t bother me.  (Which is where we get into the controlling/creepy thing, because from the summary it’s not clear she’s attracted to him at this stage, but that’s a separate issue.)

    I do totally understand the “this is weird/creepy/controlling” complaint, but I’m a little puzzled/uncomfortable with the “all straight men are buffoons who can’t buy clothes” generalizations.  Completely true about some men.  I know others who take more care with their wardrobe than I do, and I’ve been sort of squirming on their behalf.  I hate the stunning woman/clueless man shtick beloved of sitcoms because it seems so demeaning to BOTH sexes.

  16. Unimaginative says:

    I vaguely remember a category romance (back in the 80’s I think) in which the hero gave the heroine a makeover.  (It was set in Texas.)  They trotted through a mall, and he bought her something new in each store, and it all came together SO WELL.  As I recall, it featured white short-shorts, red thigh-high stockings, cowboy boots & hat, and a vest (possibly all white, as well, but I really only remember the thigh-highs being red).  Gosh, what excellent taste Mr. Hero had.

    (To be honest, a LOT of men in real life have better judgement about clothing than I do, but not men in romance novels.)

  17. Anne Tenino says:

    IMO, it would have been a much better book if the jerk had learned to like her despite what she wore.

  18. Anne Tenino says:

    And also, I think NASA could solve it’s budgetary woes if they created an anti-gravity bra.

  19. “It’s kind of a trashy look”

    Thanks for letting me know. I haven’t worn a bra for 20 years except for some special occasions. I don’t like the feel. But the bonus ‘slut’ look is always good, don’t you think?

  20. Well, even then it depends on how big your boobs are and how much they stand up on their own. I’m a 38 DDD and even tops with built in bras I have to wear a bra with due to my boobs being too big and too saggy to be supported well otherwise. (Hence my crack about plastic surgery, though I mostly want a reduction because I’m in pain all the time from my damn breasts.)

    On a boob related note, I had a nightmare last night that I magically grew a third breast between the other two. *shudders*

  21. Olivia – you forgot the “quiet but hot & intense sex in the dressing room” scenes.

  22. Rebecca says:

    Yes, I do know women with your shape, and I can imagine where it would be necessary.  But if I were reading a novel which just said that a heroine was “curvy” or something similar I don’t know that I’d immediately *assume* DDD.  It all depends on your mental image, which is determined by a lot of factors, including personal experience and surroundings.  The same person may be “thin” in the US, “tall” in Asia, and neither of the above in northern Europe.  That’s why what readers make of their reading is so interesting to authors.  I was just getting a little twitchy with the “OMG women MUST wear a bra because they are NECESSARY” feel of some of the comments.  I’m sure a lot of women felt the same way about corsets 150 years ago, or pantyhose thirty years ago.

  23. TMS says:

    The problem is, it is mentioned that she is busty. Those shelf bras are completely USELESS if you are busty. Trust me. ;o)

  24. I still think pantyhose are necessary if you’re wearing a dress. Yes, even with open toed shoes. It just doesn’t look right or like a complete look without hose or stockings. I don’t care if others think I’m stupid/old fashioned/repressed. Besides, I have ugly legs.

    I frankly hate the term curvy when they refer to a plus size woman. A woman can be average size and still be curvy depending on how her body is shaped. Heck, the girls at Hooters are curvy but wear way smaller size shirts and pants than me. But since in romance land it seems curvy is code for fat and I am fat I always assume they have big huge butts and painfully huge boobs like mine.

  25. TMS says:

    Good point. I replied to you above, before I got to this comment. When I read “busty” I automatically assume a D cup or larger. I’ve been a D and a DD and neither worked with the shelf bra! lol However, someone else could be thinking C cup and that might work (camis were not in style when I was a C so I wouldn’t know…lol).

  26. Nadia says:

    Hell, I’m barely a B and I wear a bra under my cami.  Gravity and babies have taken their toll, the girls need a lift these days.  But if shelf-cami’s had been in back in my 20s when perkiness abounded, I’d have been all over the no-bra thing in the TX summer heat.

    I read this book, but don’t remember this scene.  I’m sure I laughed long and hard about buying jeans over the internet for someone else.  I’ve known my husband for 18 years and he would never dare.  He’s been shopping with me, he’s seen the dressing room carnage.  He’s got good taste and fashion sense, though – he buys me lovely sweaters at Christmas. 

  27. Psychbucket says:

    What I want to know is does he have a Magic Wang to go along with that Magic Fashion Sense.

    And a cami and jeans just fitting perfectly?  Please.  If it was yoga pants and a t shirt, I might buy it.

  28. Rei Hab says:

    I agree with DreadPirateRachel. The trope of “heroine is not displaying her beauty to its full advantage, gets made over, suddenly IS the beauty she deserves to be!” makes me gag.

    Why? Look, if somebody comes to you for fashion advice because they think they’ll be able to dress better for it, that’s one thing. But if a prospective partner one day handed me a floaty, frilly dress and said “here, this will really bring out your inner beauty!” then my response would be to stare at them until they backed slowly away. I don’t understand why a heroine can only really play the part of heroine when she’s not wearing jeans and a t-shirt. So what if you think a ballgown shows off her body better? It is not your body and you do not get to decide what looks best on it.

    Ahem. Sorry. Kind of a sore spot with me, because my mother still tries to get me to buy a particular shape of dresses with lace on them even though she knows I’m not comfortable in anything I can’t wear with combat boots. (Also, I’m twenty-two. I think I’ve earned the right to make my own fashion choices.)

  29. Marina says:

    Also they are spies. The details about their sizes and measurements is probably on record somewhere; they just just read the other’s personel file.

     

  30. Marina says:

    Also they are spies. The details about their sizes and measurements is probably on record somewhere; they just just read the other’s personel file.

  31. Marina says:

    Let me get this straight: she wears business suits to try and hide the fact that she is not thin? Business suits in America do that? Because where I come from all they manage to achieve is a) make you look professional (as in fit in with certain work environments and accepted by the people who judge based on clothing) and b) make your working life easier (in my expierience, they actually do tend be one of the more convienient ways to dress for office work).

    I don’t think it is so unbelievable that he would know what she would look good in. What boggles the inagination is that he could buy her clothes that fit in a flattering way on the intenet, even if he somehow knew her size. I mean, a piece of clothing may fit in the sense that it is the right size and the person can get into it, but stil not look flattering on the actual person. There is a reason people try clothes on before they buy them instead of just buying the right size and it’s not just that sizes vary with brands, it’s also that it is a bit of a gamble to try and visualize how a person will look in a certain piece of clothing.

    I am seriously annoyed by the “plus size person wears baggy clothes to hide their body” thing. I am and have always been overweight and, though I have little fashion sense and not much interest in clothes, I found out soon enough that a) both tight and baggy clothes look equally unflattering. And I see nothing wrong with being a conservative dresser; if you don’t want to spend much time and effort on shopping, buying classic stuff is the safest, easiest way to have a working wardrobe.

    The thing is, this scene could have been very sweet. When my sister comes shopping with me, she always manages to talk me into trying things I wouldn’t have on my own; but by making genlte “this would look nice on you, it is such a great color, what have you got to lose if you try it on” comments, not arbitrarily buying me stuff. The guy has a woman with zero clothes in his house, hiding from the bad guy. If he, say, bought her one outfit, something that comes in one-size or S-M-L to make sure it fits, and said “See, that looks great on you. Why don’t you try buying things in a different style, so that it will be more difficult for the bad guy to recognise you?” it would have worked much better.

     

  32. Layla says:

    I hate this trope, too. It always reminds me of that scene in Jane Eyre where Mr. Rochester is like ALL THE CLOTHES!!!!111!! and Jane is like, um, about that…

  33. Blodeuedd says:

    Good rant cos yes that would not work! I hate online shopping, I might order the same size but there is always something too big, too small. I do not wear the same size on top as down. My boobs have a mind of their own, arghh, silly

  34. Melissa Bradley says:

    I know that book. And I was like “come on.” Is he for real? Then I love how the diner job makes her the sexiest woman in town. Sounds like a male fantasy to me.

  35. Many years ago, when I was a word processor for a large law firm, I worked with a middle aged gay guy from Bumf*k, (north) Louisiana – his daddy was an Assembly of God pastor. And Don used to say, in his slow, twangy drawl, “I don’t know shit about home decoratin’. I don’t give a shit about hairstyles and I can’t help you find a goddamned dress. I fuck guys. Otherwise, I’m just a guy, leave me alone.” I would’ve loved to have him as a sassy gay friend but his boyfriend was one of the creepiest people I ever met.

    I recall a romance someone lent me about a small town librarian – 30something, drab and mousy, yada yada. Then she gets reacquainted with the town’s new Yankee sheriff. Another guy she assumes is gay (but who we discover isn’t, because he doesn’t realize “puce” is an actual color) takes her to a hair salon and, I think, turns her over to a lady in a dress shop a la Pretty Woman. It was a fun read. But the sheriff never tried to remake her – he just liked her self-imposed remake.

  36. You’re thinking of the Linda Howard novel Open Season. The heroine is Daisy Miner, a librarian in Alabama. I remember quite well the sheriff saying he was attracted to her before her makeover, and could back that up with his actions. It’s a cute book.

  37. See, I’m of two minds. Part of me likes makeover scenes in books, part of me hates them and here’s why –

    On one hand I’d love to have a full blown My Fair Lady type makeover. My family is always on my case. Because I’m obese I wear my tops a size or two too big. (I don’t care if this makes me look fatter. I’d rather look heavier in baggy tops than have clothing that fits to every lump and bulge of extra flesh.) And how I’m too loud, too outspoken, not lady-like, etc. I know being made over in such a way would make my parents & brothers happy and might make me feel better about myself. Make me see myself as attractive instead of ugly and worthless.

    On the other hand to me clothing should have an emotional fit as well as a physical fit. And whenever someone else picks clothing for me it always what fits THEM emotionally, not me. (Actually, that’s the way it is with all gifts people give me. No one ever gives me something I want or have been begging for, they get me things they like thinking they can force me to like them.) So I feel my fragile self esteem breaking even more.

    And as for my personality, I hate it when people try to change who I am. Nothing gets me more ticked off more than someone trying to force me to be “more lady-like” or more “hip and with it” when it comes to my personal tastes. I try to tell people “Don’t try to convert me, I won’t try to convert you” and they see that as an invitation to attack me on everything from religion to the music I listen to.

    So in the end, the only makeover scenes that really work for me are the ones where the woman enters willingly. Like in those Fairy Godmothers books by Donna Kauffman. (Side note, none of the romances in those books work for me. I hated every single pairing though Sleeping With Beauty was the worse. Passive aggressive jerk who can’t admit he’s in love with the heroine and is angry at her for getting a makeover instead of being supportive of her doing something to help her improve her self esteem and heal from years of being bullied. I just read them because I loved the Godmothers so damn much.) And even then I wish the heroines would fight against some of the changes more. Like when the makeover artist insists on her getting a Brazilian wax. Or forces her into clothing she feels is too small. You can’t just change something like that and expect her to automatically accept it. There needs to be tears and a big emotional breakdown.

    In the end – I wish someone would try to force me on What Not To Wear so I could tell Clinton and Stacy they’re idiots and that their hair “stylist” is a moron. Dude gives every single woman a soccer mom haircut. He needs to go back to school to learn some new styles.

  38. Shal says:

    My FAV Line- Jude’s Law: the law that says that if a romance hero buys you clothes, BY GOLLY BUT THEY WILL FIT, COME HELL OR HEFTY BOOBS.

    I like the makeover scenes where the H takes the h to a store and she models the clothes (chosen by an experienced sales person) for him and he picks his favorites (Obviously the slutty ones) and he’s attracted to her in some dress and sparks fly and he kisses her and tells her she’s beautiful…blah blah blah. Essential elements in a romance novel.

    What i HATE is the fact that all they are buying are ballgowns and see-through lingerie. But I thought you didn’t like her everyday clothes…she looks likes a bag lady…isn’t she supposed to throw away the hateful clothes? So what is she supposed to wear during the day?
    Oh I can so see her now mopping the floor in a floor length gown….probably in 6” heels! HA HA HA.

    Get realistic…its OK for the H to buy a few pieces of clothes as gifts or on impulse or whatever but not an entire wardrobe. Plus which man would gladly do that? Have you ever taken your bf/hubby clothes shopping? He never has a proper input.
    ME: Honey what about this? Do you like it?
    HE: Its OK.
    (Still waiting for a plausible answer, can see the annoyance on my face)
    HE:If you like it, buy it.
    WTF! WHY DID YOU EVEN COME SHOPPING WITH ME!

    Its pure torture for the guys! My bf once told me: “If you don’t know what you want or like how am I supposed to?” LOL

    Shal

  39. Upstart1 says:

    …And he responds with “Yeah, but I love it when you put tight clothing over your fat, look I have a boner because of it.”

    I am crying – real tears have formed – with laughter. You made me cry!

     

  40. Sari says:

    This rant had me itching to comment or write about an instance where it was done –in my opinion and personal taste- right.

    Makeover is an age old trope in all kinds of fiction, and as such it seems to have some universal appeal. It certainly does for me! Many of us have mourned for the restrictions we have (be their monetary or otherwise) that we have that stop us from either looking like our best selves, or even looking like the models on a magazine cover (which, on a side note, is not a healthy aspiration for anyone).

    Makeovers can easily be a troubling trope; why does the heroine (for it rarely is the hero who gets a makeover) have to change for the sake of a man, or to get noticed or taken seriously? A good question, but I’m not going to dissect that one further here. What I am interested in is if a makeover can be done in a way that doesn’t change the heroine too much, and doesn’t reinforce the idea of having to change to get a man (be it a certain man or any man). I think it can be done, but it surely can be a slippery slope.

    When I think back, the very first makeover that comes to my mind is Cinderella. She has an outside helper who gives her a chance to shine. The book that had you ranting was a book where the hero of the story was the one actively making over the heroine, going as far as ordering her new clothes, magically knowing just her true, most flattering size, without asking. The book I will use as my example has something in the middle of this; the man gives the final push for the makeover but the heroine had wanted some change for herself already both internally and externally, and the people who help her are more or less outsiders (although the one in charge of her new wardrobe is the hero’s stylish mother).

    The book I am talking about is “Heaven, Texas” by Susan Elizabeth Phillips. Though not all her books are written equal, I really love her writing and I will tell you straight up that along with “Match me if you can”, this is my favourite book by her. There are obviously spoilers here.

    Our heroine is Gracie Snow; in her mid thirties and the antithesis of style, and seemingly incapable of wearing any kind of clothes that actually suit her. The reason she is this way is explained; her parents ran a nursing home for the elderly and all her life she lived in that home, and later worked there and even ran it. She isn’t used to people her age, and her fashion sense is woefully out of date. She never really even developed one. Also, she was told early on by her mother that she “comes from a long line of homely women”, and the sooner she accepts it, the happier she will be (way to go, mom!).

    At the beginning of the book Gracie has left the nursing home behind her and is trying to find a totally new career and with it a new way of life by accepting a position as a low paid assistant at a movie production company. Soon she finds herself as a personal assistant to Bobby Tom Denton, an ex-football player forced to retire early due to injury, and now making his first movie.

    Bobby Tom is from Texas, and everything is big in Texas. He likes his women flashy, not thin and wearing the ugliest, shapeless suits imaginable and with a bad perm. Bobby Tom truly likes Gracie though, and admires her tenacity. To get matchmaking people off his back (they are shooting the film in his home town!) he makes a flash decision to claim Gracie is in fact his fiancée. When people dare to act astonished, knowing Gracie doesn’t fit into his usual type, Bobby Tom claims he had forbidden Gracie to look too good because of jealousy. Because this town is full of (wonderful) loons, they more or less believe him. They also believe him when he tells them that Gracie lost all her makeup during her latest case as a bodyguard. (Loons, I tell you!!)

    As for the actual makeover, Bobby Tom decides that for anyone to believe them, Gracie needs to start looking the part. Bobby Tom drives her to a hair salon and tells the salon owner not to be too conservative as Gracie is in fact “a wild woman”. After a flattering pixieish haircut that is opposite to the usual big, Texas hair and some make up tips, Bobby Tom’s mother Suzy takes Gracie shopping for new clothes. For awhile Gracie tries to go for her old “style” insisting the new clothes don’t look like her, but gives in when Suzy tells her that it is high time she actually started looking like herself.

    When the makeover is done, Gracie feels sexy and carefree. For the first time in her life, she looks like a cute woman her age. The first time Bobby Tom sees her (from a far) he doesn’t recognize her. When they meet up front, Gracie expects overflowing flattery which is Bobby Tom’s usual M.O. with all women, young and old. Instead Bobby Tom completely ignores Gracie’s new look, and is all business as usual, deflating Gracie’s happiness a bit, but only momentarily. She knows Bobby Tom’s flattery for what it is, and often Bobby Tom acts like a compulsive liar which no one else seems to realize. Gracie enjoys her new looks, and her new clothes.

    Late in the book (when Gracie finds out about a deal breaker of a lie Bobby Tom had told her early on in their relationship and before they ever became intimate) Gracie takes off all her new nice clothes and make up and comes to an important party looking like her old, unflattering self. The townspeople don’t seem to care, they already know and love Gracie for who she is. The movie crewmen have flipped for who gets to ask her to dance now that they think that Bobby Tom and Gracie have broken up. The winner still asks her, not either noticing or caring that Gracie looks like her old self.

    As for Bobby Tom, he is flabbergasted. Why would she disgrace him and insult all his friends on this of all nights. An a-hole reaction for sure (for much of the book Bobby Tom threads the fine line of being a real bastard and a fine romantic lead, often thought to be synonymous and when done right, it can be) but he does pay for it later. The most important part is that the return to her frumpy self doesn’t make him want her any less, or see her as any less beautiful.

    To sum up, when Gracie finally gets the chance to interact with the opposite sex that are closer to her own age, they seem to find her attractive and nice enough, even before the makeover, which only amplified the effect. After her makeover Gracie becomes, not a knockout, but all she can be. It boosts her confidence, but it is not shown as a cure all for her current or future troubles. Be it fiction or real life, that is, in my opinion, a sign of the best kind of makeover.

Add Your Comment

Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

*


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

↑ Back to Top