Book Review

Book Rant: Breathless by Anne Stuart Made Marian Angry

Marian sent me an email that began:

One thing I love about the new site design is that I discovered all the rants. That reminded me I’d written something similar, so I’ve attached my rant. The book was one of those you’d like to throw to the floor and jump up and down on, except for it being library property. So all you can do is write about it, and maybe share with someone who’ll understand.

Oh, yes. I very much understand the rage that makes your eyeballs feel like maybe they are boiling.

Before you read further: Trigger Warning for rape. 

Also: Spoilers Abound.

And here is Marian’s Book Rant.


Comic portrait of woman on phone with text bubble that reads UNLEASHED RAGE GOES HEREI picked up an Anne Stuart historical romance called Breathless because of the opening. Miranda had been ruined by a man who once kidnapped and raped her, but she was determined not to let him have any more power over her.

So far, so good. Then came the hero, who paid the kidnapper because he has a grudge against Miranda’s brother.

Reading Stuart’s Ice series made me brace for heroes who come this close to killing the heroines, but who also have a reason for their near-sociopathy. In Breathless, here’s the reason for the zero’s grudge: he had a half-sister who was engaged to Miranda’s brother. She shot herself when the brother broke off the engagement. To me, that suggests mental instability. To this zero, it means the entire family must suffer! suffer! suffer!

So he worms his way into Miranda’s life by sabotaging her carriage wheel and saving her. He also calls her “my child” a lot, and that gave me creepy vibes like anything.

Wood walking cane with rounded headBut we’re supposed to pity him because he has facial scars and walks with a cane. I wished Miranda would put the cane where canes should never go.

The zero invites her to a house party where he gets a male guest to grope her, so he can rescue her. She knees Paid Rapist #2 in the groin, but the zero limps into the scene to help, so she thinks he’s a good person.

Until he kidnaps her and tells her if she doesn’t marry him, he’ll kill her younger brother. Oh, he’s fully capable of that, because he once murdered a man. The man’s crime? He stepped on the zero’s pet scorpion.

Miranda agrees to marriage. The zero plans to take her to his distant, tumbledown country estate and get a couple of “brats” (as he puts it) on her. She decides the only way to fight back is to act like she loves it all. So once they reach the estate, complete with a Mrs. Danvers-esque housekeeper, she outdoes Pollyanna in her burbly prattle.

bobble headed statue of Gollum - extra double creepy
“My dove, my pet, my preciousssss.”

This leads to some cringeworthy conversations where they call each other “my dove”, “my pet” and “precious”, not meaning a single saccharine word.

“Precious” made me think of Gollum, and I wouldn’t have been surprised if the zero had hissed, “We hateses your family, preciousss, we hateses them forever!”

Then they have sex, because the zero can be a lying, rapist-hiring, murdering scum as long as he’s spectacular in the sack. He forces himself on her, and to her amazement she responds (of course), whereas she never felt any pleasure before (of course).

He thinks, more than once, what a good idea it was to have PR #1 take her virginity, so he can enjoy her without the inconvenience. And it’s so much more exciting to introduce a terrified woman to the joys of sex.

Bastard.

Anyway, he’s much bigger than PR #1 (of course) and gives her multiple orgasms lying down, standing up, etc. But because her family still needs to suffer! suffer! suffer! he plans to marry her before this crowd of perverts he knows, and the highlight of the ceremony is every pervert raping the bride. Miranda is still pretending to be delighted, so she goes along with it. By then I was just watching the trainwreck.

She keeps thinking he’ll stop at the last moment. But no, he allows her to be restrained, gagged and blindfolded by the perverts. Just as they’re about to pull her legs apart, though, he sees PR #1 in the crowd. So he puts her back in the carriage and drives off.

It didn’t get much better from there, for me. I don’t know what kind of grovel would have even begun to make up for this, but there was none. On the second-to-last page of the book, she asked if he loved her and he replied: “I love no one.” So they had amazing sex yet again.

I suppose they live happily ever after, because if she can take kidnapping, rape, attempted gang-rape and a threat to murder her brother, what can’t she endure? I might have checked out the other books in the series, but the start of the next one referred to her children, and the idea of kids being anywhere near a deranged, vicious and narcissistic creep like that zero ruined any atmosphere of romance for me.

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Breathless by Anne Stuart

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  1. Christine says:

    I listened to Breathless on audio over. Couldn’t “put it down”. I absolutely loved this story, vile pieces and all!

    The magic was these two are designed for each other despite the terrible… in the end terrible is outweighed by the fated love they try to push back and ignore. The magnitism they share. She brings out the human in him. She took what he dished out and handled it like a champ! Trials over, emerging from the kiln. Teir future brighter and happier than had they not met. LOVED IT.
    My 1 regret, Sad the king of thieves didn’t get a more detailed love scene.

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