Tony was Eustace and useless as well,

Until his whole family went to hell.

He became a thief to make a living,

Now that he’s older, he works for the king

Constance is a widowed duchess,

Since her duke died, she’s in a big mess.

Her skill set comprises curtsies and babies,

To keep up appearances and be a lady.

Now she’s in a lot of distress,

Because the foul villain wants a mistress.

He slaps and snarls and gets his hand on her deed,

In the midst of printing up the money he’ll need.

(You must pay the rent!

I can’t pay the rent!

You must pay the rent!

I can’t pay the rent!)

So Tony helps out because he’s in love,

Castles in Spain, white turtledoves,

Eating rainbows, pooping butterflies,

Stealing the deed back with stars in his eyes.

(You must pay the rent!

I can’t pay the rent!

You must pay the rent!

I can’t pay the rent!

I’ll pay the rent!

My hero!)

And the good guys win and the bad guys lose,

And finally Connie knows whom to choose.

She won’t be a duchess, just plain Mrs. Smythe,

And they will be happy for all of their lives,

Once they get in touch with reality.

A fun little tale, I’ll give it a B