It’s Part Two of our live show, recorded Friday, May 5, 2017, at the Romantic Times BookLovers Convention in Atlanta! We had wine, snacks, and a room full of somewhat tired and entirely awesome podcast fans, and I’m so excited to share the audio with you! With Robin Bradford’s help, I administered a devious quiz to Amanda, Carrie, Elyse, and RedHeadedGirl, and they tolerated it with aplomb.
Big Thanks to our Patreon supporters. I could not have done this without you, and you are all wonderful. Thanks again to Beth, Mel, Erin, Elizabeth, and everyone who helped me set up the live show. And thanks to Robin Bradford, Amanda, Carrie, Elyse and RedHeadedGirl – and everyone who came to make the live show recording so much fun.
❤ Read the transcript ❤
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Here are the books we discuss in this podcast:
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We also mentioned the following during the show:
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Thrown anuses on Google books
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Equally troubling wrapped anuses
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Smart Bitches Ravelry Group, Smart Knitters, Trashy Books
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Sarah’s new adventure, Organization Academy
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This Episode's Music
This is from Caravan Palace, and the track is called “Maniac.”
You can find their two album set with Caravan Palace and Panic on Amazon and iTunes. And you can learn more about Caravan Palace on Facebook, and on their website.
Podcast Sponsor
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Transcript
❤ Click to view the transcript ❤
[music]
Sarah Wendell: Hello, and welcome to episode number 249 of Smart Podcast, Trashy Books. I’m Sarah Wendell from Smart Bitches, Trashy Books, and today is part two of our live show recorded in Atlanta on May 5th. I am calling this episode “Quizzing the Bitches.” At the Romantic Times Booklovers Convention, we hosted a live recording. We had wine, thanks to Beth. We had snacks. We had a room full of tired and extremely cool people, and I’m so excited to share the audio with you. It’s, I get to be there for the recording, and then I get to be there for the editing, and then I finally get to share it! So with Robin Bradford’s help in this episode, I administered a devious quiz to Amanda and Carrie, Elyse, and Redheadedgirl, and they tolerated it with aplomb.
Now, like last week, I do have some thanks that I need to give out, so get ready for the thank-you train ‘cause it’s leaving the station! First, to all of the Patreon supporters, I could not have done this without you, and you are all wonderful. I could not have done this without your support, without the new equipment, without the really cool microphones and the twenty-five-foot cords and the crash course in how to make the sound more better. I could not have done that without you; thank you so much. I also want to thank Beth, Mel, Erin, Elizabeth, and everyone who helped me set up the live show, and I want to thank Robin Bradford, Amanda, Carrie, Elyse, and Redheadedgirl and everyone who came to make the live show recording so much fun.
Now, details: first of all, did you know we have an iTunes page? We totally do. It’s at iTunes.com/DBSA. And I have learned a thing. I have learned that if you subscribe to shows and review shows and tell friends about shows, it helps spread the word about the podcast in question that you’re talking about and helps make sure that that podcast appears in the magical, ever-changing algorithm which soon controls all of our lives. So I was given, you know, instructions: if you’re a podcast host, you should tell people to subscribe and review and tell a friend, which is all very cool; if you want to subscribe or review or tell a friend, that’s awesome, but if you just listen when it suits you, I am deeply honored. I am deeply honored to be in your eardrums. I will try very hard not to hurt your head. Like I said, I’m trying to make the audio more gooder.
And speaking of things that don’t hurt your head, I have a compliment! Yay! This is my favorite part.
To Stacy S.: Someone right now is designing shoes that are elegant, comfortable, suitable for every occasion, ecologically thoughtful, and gorgeous. They are named after you.
Are you thinking right now, I could totally go for a compliment like that? You totally could! Just head over to patreon.com/SmartBitches. For as little as one dollar a month you can help support the show with a monthly pledge, and there are different reward tiers, including handcrafted, artisanal, genuine, heartfelt compliments from yours truly. Really, it’s so much fun to come up with these, so if you want to make sure that I have to do more, I am all for it!
This podcast is brought to you by The Most Dangerous Duke in London by Madeline Hunter. Three sinfully handsome dukes, three scores to settle, three hearts about to meet their matches, all in one brilliant new series from New York Times bestselling author Madeline Hunter, one of the most respected names in historical romance. Madeline Hunter is well known for accurate historical detail, irresistible heroes, smart heroines, lush descriptions, witty prose, and unforgettable plot lines. All of these signature elements are on full display in The Most Dangerous Duke in London, which is her first series with Kensington Publishing. The Most Dangerous Duke in London is loosely based on Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew, pitting a handsome peer against a headstrong, independent lady who refuses to be cowed by her suitor’s persistence and his somewhat nefarious machinations. On sale now wherever books are sold and on kensingtonbooks.com. I know some of you just sat up or, like, looked really around like, where, what, where do I get this Taming of the Shrew? Taming of the Shrew is a fun trope, right? Super fun.
The books you are going to hear and the links that we are going to talk about, including all of the books in the quiz, will be in the podcast entry at smartbitchestrashybooks.com/podcast, as will information about the music you are hearing, which I will tell you more about at the end of the podcast in the part that’s called the outro. And I have finally won the battle that my husband now thinks, yes, fine, it’s a word, because he can use it in Scrabble; therefore, it’s all good.
And one last thing! If you would like to email me with a suggestion or a question, or you’d like to ask for recommendations – I can do that a lot – you can email me at [email protected] or, if it’s easier for you to remember, [email protected]. You can email me anything. You want to ask questions, you want to make requests, you think I should interview somebody, would you like some book suggestions, you want me to explain a particularly weird trope in romance, I’m here.
But now, time for the podcast.
[music]
Sarah: All right. And now, and now –
Redheadedgirl: [Moans]
Sarah: – I’m going to bring out –
[Laughter]
Sarah: – I’m going to bring out some Bitches. Okay, I’m going to introduce to you all the Bitches, and we’re, and I have a quiz.
Audience member: Yay!
Sarah: And Robin and I are going to administer this quiz, and it is truly demonic.
Robin: [Laughs] But fun!
Sarah: Are you guys having a good time?
Audience member: Yes, so good!
[Cheering]
Sarah: I have never done a live show; I was frigging petrified. I was so afraid; I mean, seriously, I was afraid to go to TSA with all this equipment. Like, seriously! This is my recorder; how suspicious does that look, right?
[Laughter]
Sarah: Like, that looks like something bad’s going to happen. I got that out of the box and was like, holy shit. Okay. So, we got some microphones here, and we have some Bitches!
[Cheering]
Sarah: Okay, so, guys, would you please – Carrie disappeared; now she’s back! Redheadedgirl, would you introduce yourself?
Redheadedgirl: Hi, I’m Redheadedgirl.
[Cheering]
Redheadedgirl: It is, in fact, red, as you can see.
Elyse: Hi, I’m Elyse.
[Cheering]
Amanda: I’m Amanda.
[Cheering]
Audience member: Hi, Amanda!
Carrie: I’m Carrie or Carrie S. on the site.
[Cheering]
Sarah: Okay, so if you’ve listened to the podcast, you know that when I do a quiz it’s evil.
Audience member: Yep.
Sarah: It’s very evil, and I did two –
[Laughter]
Sarah: – I have two deeply evil elements to the construction of this quiz: first, I emailed each of them and was like, help me craft questions for the others that exploit their weaknesses.
Amanda: And we, and we didn’t know she did that, either.
Sarah: No, like, Amanda was like, oh, I thought she was just asking me. Oh, no. Oh, no. And then, and then –
Audience member: [Laughs]
Sarah: – I asked Robin for help. She came up with the most evil questions.
Robin: I’m sorry in advance.
Amanda: Robin, I thought, thought we were friends, Robin!
Robin: We were!
[Laughter]
Sarah: She just said she only accepts cashier’s checks, right?
Audience member: Cash is good!
Robin: But al-, cash always!
Sarah: Cash is always good, that’s right.
Audience member: Cash is good!
Sarah: All right. So here’s how this works: I’ve got four rounds, and each of you gets one Ask the Audience pass, where you can ask the audience by applause, by show of hands, by screams of horror, your choice.
[Laughter]
Sarah: You can ask the audience for help with one question. All, first two rounds are multiple choice, second round is true/false, and I do have a tiebreaker. ‘Kay?
Amanda: Shall I keep track?
Audience member: I was going to say, who’s doing the score?
Amanda: I’m, I’m always the scorekeeper when we do this for a podcast.
Sarah: You want a pen?
Redheadedgirl: It’s always seemed suspect, but so far –
Sarah: She’s very accurate. Do you want me to, do you want me to hand you a paper or pen?
Amanda: I got, I’ve got an iPhone. Modern technology, we got this.
Sarah: Someone’s a millennial, ‘cause I could not do that.
Amanda: Yeah!
Sarah: I could not do that! Millenials have mad skills, y’all. I know people like to shit on millenials. Millenials are the shit. Okay. So, I’m going to start with Redheadedgirl. Okay? Redheadedgirl, this, this question suggestion came from one of your comrades, who’s exploiting your weaknesses.
Redheadedgirl: Uh-huh.
Sarah: Which of the following is not the title of an Immortals After Dark book by Kresley Cole.
Redheadedgirl: What the actual fuck is this question?
[Laughter]
Amanda: You’re welcome.
Redheadedgirl: Girl, I know where you sleep tonight.
Amanda: I was invited to sleep with Elyse tonight, so –
Redheadedgirl: Maybe you better!
[Laughter]
Sarah: All right, you ready? Here we go. Which of the following is not the title of an Immortals After Dark book by Kresley Cole? Now, remember, you do have an Ask the Audience. You have three more rounds, but you have an Ask the Audience if you need, if you think you need a hand.
Redheadedgirl: Mm-hmm.
Sarah: All right.
Number 1: Wicked Deeds on a Winter’s Night
Number 2: Dark Needs at Night’s Edge
Number 3: Dark Desires After Dusk
Number 4: Winter Needs of a Dark Warrior
So, I’ll go through that again. I still can’t figure out, there’s one with a ghost, and there’s one with a vampire, and I don’t know what the hell one it is.
Redheadedgirl: So, this is where you get into kind of one of those interesting existential dilemmas where you’re like, I do have an Ask the Audience, but maybe I want to save it. Like, do I want to keep my nuclear option or save it, or what do I want to do? So I’m just going to babble until I pull a random number out of the air and say the third one is the one, the fake one?
Sarah: No, that’s a real one. The fake, okay, Wicked Deeds –
Redheadedgirl: Stop paying attention…
Sarah: – Wicked Deeds on a Winter Night, Dark Needs at Night’s Edge, and Dark Desires After Dusk are all real. The fake one is Winter Needs of a Dark Warrior. All right, Carrie –
Redheadedgirl: Sure, that sounds legit.
Sarah: Carrie, this question –
[Laughter]
Sarah: – this question comes from Robin. It’s that one right there. Can you read that for Carrie for me, please? This is so evil. Like, this is the most – she sent this to me, and I was like, ohhh.
Robin: I don’t even, I don’t even know how I would read this!
Sarah: I think you have to say it and spell it. And this is, this is going to be like Speak & Spell.
Audience member: ‘Kay.
Sarah: The answer is –
Robin: Which of the following is a real J. R. Ward character name?
[Groans, laughter]
Carrie: Oh, Jesus. And no, oh, Jesus is not my final answer.
[Laughter]
Robin: So, one: P’huck.
[Laughter]
Robin: P-apostrophe-H-U-C-K.
Audience member: You can’t do any better than that.
Robin: Two: Cnut [pronounced like “snoot”]. C-N-U-T. Figure that out.
Three: S’ex. S-apostrophe-E-X.
Fourth: La’bia. L-A-apostrophe-B-I-A.
[Laughter]
Robin: Or fifth: D’ork. D-apostrophe-O-R-K.
Carrie: Okay, now, now, wait. Are all of these fake except for one?
Robin: Yes. We’re looking for –
Carrie: Okay.
Robin: Yes.
Carrie: All right. I, I think that – read, read the second one again.
Robin: Cnut, C-N-U-T.
Carrie: All right, I think that’s the real one.
Robin: It’s a real name, but not a real J. R. Ward name.
Amanda and Redheadedgirl: Ohhh!
Amanda: It’s a different series.
Robin: It is S’ex.
Audience member: It’s S’ex.
Carrie: [Laughs]
Several audience members: S’ex!
Sarah: If I remember –
Audience member: Yeah.
Sarah: If I remember correctly, Kuh-nut or Snoot [Cnut] was the vampire Viking Navy SEAL angel –
Audience members: Yep, yeah.
Sarah: – who’s fighting ISIS in Montana, right?
Redheadedgirl: Yes.
[Exclamations, laughter]
Audience member: This is real!
Carrie: I, I wouldn’t have gone –
Sarah: Oh, no, this is –
Redheadedgirl: No, that’s an actual thing, yeah.
Sarah: – this is Sandra Hill.
Carrie: I would have thought Cnut [Snoot] would be like a, a, a little helper, like, like –
Robin: I may have pronounced it wrong.
Carrie: – this is my minion, Cnut.
Audience member: Right?!
[Laughter]
Carrie: Cnut! Go fetch my slippers!
Redheadedgirl: It’s pronounced kuh-noot. It’s pronounced kuh-noot.
Sarah: Kuh-nut? Is it kuh-nut?
Redheadedgirl: Kuh-noot.
Sarah: Kuh-noot. It is Cnut.
Redheadedgirl: Cnut.
Robin: Cnut.
Sarah: Cnut.
Carrie: Cnut! Like, that’s a cute name.
Robin: It’s close!
Redheadedgirl: Oh, no, it’s not! [Laughs]
Sarah: So, Cnut is a vampire, is a real name for a Viking vampire Navy angel SEAL immortal…
Redheadedgirl: Or just a, you know, random Norse dude.
Amana: It’s, it’s a real name, yeah.
Sarah: It’s a real name.
Redheadedgirl: It’s a random Norse dude.
Sarah: Fighting ISIS in Montana.
Amanda: Yes.
Redheadedgirl: As you do.
Sarah: As you do. That’s a real book. Sandra Hill, if you ever needed someone to just open the fire hose of crazysauce and just let ‘er rip, she’s your girl.
Carrie: Okay.
Sarah: She, okay, I remember years ago going on a cruise, and there was a book called The Very Virile Viking. She had a whole bunch of Viking time travels. So The Very Virile Viking had a buttload of kids, hence the name Very Virile Viking, and they all get brought up to the present day, and this is bananas. Like, it is completely off the wall. I had, I was on a cruise. I was having the best time, right? There is one scene where he and his children, like, all sit down. They’re like, so, we’re in the future, right? And they’re like, yep. Okay!
[Laughter]
Sarah: And the nice thing about him is, the Very Virile Viking was actually a very good dad, but I mean, come on! Time-traveling Vikings? What could possibly go wrong?
Audience member: I know, right?
Sarah: And then when you get vampire Viking Navy angel SEAL immortal angel warriors, like, Sandra Hill is a gift to us all.
[Laughter]
Sarah: All right, Elyse?
Elyse: I’m super mad that when you asked me for questions I was like, no, I’m busy with real work. You should have told me, Elyse, get your shit together.
[Laughter]
Elyse: This is a competition. Prioritize right now.
Sarah: Right?
Carrie: Yeah.
Elyse: Damn it!
Carrie: I also did not understand the gravity of the question –
[Laughter]
Sarah: Hey.
Carrie: – to me, I was like, what –
Redheadedgirl: I really can’t believe that you didn’t recognize that she was pitting us all against each other. It was very obvious, Machiavellian manipulation!
[Laughter]
Audience member: That is her job, isn’t it?
Redheadedgirl: It is her –
Sarah: It’s how I roll. All right, Elyse?
Elyse: All right.
Sarah: Which of the following is not a real series for sale right now on the Internet?
Elyse: Okay.
Sarah: Specifically, Amazon, because ever since All Romance went under, I lost all of my crazysauce book location services. Like, there had the, you could – so, All Romance used to have a little search box, and you could enter, like, the craziest shit, and it would, like, populate a list of the books in the database. So you could be like, the Viking, and it would just give you, like, sixty titles. You’d be like, oh, that sounds great!
[Laughter]
Sarah: So I had to do, I had to do hard work for this. All right, so which of the following –
Elyse: All right.
Sarah: – is not a real series for sale right now on the Internet?
Number 1: Rent a Dragon
Number 2: Cowboy Brother Bears
[Laughter]
Audience member: That could be good!
Sarah: Number 3: Uptown Bears
Audience member: Ooh!
Sarah: And number 4: Montana Dragons.
Three of these are real; one is fake.
Elyse: Are you sure one is fake?
[Laughter]
Sarah: I just want you to know, when I craft these quizzes, I Google the shift out of my fake answer –
Elyse: Okay.
Sarah: – and make sure that I’m not, like, accidentally naming a real book.
Robin: I just bought all of those!
Sarah: Right?
[Laughter]
Sarah: So number 1 is Rent a Dragon; number 2, Cowboy Brother Bears; number 3, Uptown Bears; and number 4, Montana Dragons.
Elyse: I feel like Cowboy Brother Bears is weird enough that it has to be real? I’m going to go with Uptown Bears.
Sarah: You are correct!
[Cheering, applause]
Audience member: About time!
Sarah: All right. Robin, you ready? Amanda, this one’s yours.
Amanda: All right.
Sarah: All right, Amanda?
Amanda: Yeah?
Sarah: This one right here.
Amanda: ‘Kay.
Audience member: No pressure.
[Laughter]
Amanda: I don’t like Robin laughing behind me.
Robin: There’s a whole lot of virgins in Harlequin Presents, but not as many in Suspense, but I found one! Which of the following is a real Harlequin Romantic Suspense title?
The Texas Ranger’s Undercover Virgin
The Covert – oh, number 2: The Covert Agent’s Virgin Affair
Number 3: Secret Agent, Royal Virgin
[Laughter]
Robin: Or number 4: Enticed by the Virgin Operative.
Amanda: Why are they all, like, spy virgins? That’s what I can’t –
Robin: Because it’s Romantic Suspense!
Amanda: But why, why does the, why can’t there be, like, a cop who does the suspense stuff and then just a regular virgin?
[Laughter]
Robin: Just a regular virgin!
Sarah: There are no regular virgins in romance!
Robin: Oh! What did I do?
Amanda: What was the third one again? The royal virgin? Is that the –
Robin: Secret Agent, Royal Virgin.
Sarah: Would you like us to repeat the titles?
Amanda: No, I don’t.
Redheadedgirl: Yeah.
Robin: And you’re looking for the real title, not the fake title.
Amanda: Oh, shit, okay.
[Laughter]
Sarah: – those are fake, one is real.
Amanda: Okay, one is real? What’s the first – you’re going to have to repeat them now.
Robin: Okay. We’re looking for the real title.
Amanda: Okay.
Robin: The Texas Ranger’s Undercover Virgin, number 1.
Amanda: That one.
[Laughter]
Amanda: That one.
Robin: You should have waited for number 2!
Amanda: No.
Redheadedgirl: Ohhh!
Robin: The Covert Agent’s Virgin Affair is the real title.
Amanda: Grrr!
Robin: It’s a Linda Conrad from 2010.
Redheadedgirl: Okay, somebody, somebody write Secret Agent, Royal Virgin –
Audience member: Yes –
Redheadedgirl: – right now!
[Laughter]
Sarah: I mean, listen, all these fake titles are up for grabs. Y’all can have ‘em!
Elyse: Does, does any – I feel like Robin is our Carl Kassell.
Robin: I –
Sarah: Yes.
[Laughter]
Sarah: If you win, Robin will record your voicemail message.
[Cheering, applause]
Amanda: Also –
Redheadedgirl: The stakes have never been higher.
[Laughter]
Amanda: Score update –
Robin: Real Virgin, Missing Cherries.
[Laughter]
Sarah: Wait, so that’s book two in the series we’re writing, so when the mechanic, the Latino Amish mechanic gets married, the sequel is his sister who’s a bartender and also a virgin. All right.
Amanda: Elyse is the only one that has a point, in case you missed that.
Sarah: After round one, we have one point ahead, one to zero to zero to zero. Redheadedgirl, are you ready?
Redheadedgirl: No.
[Laughter]
Sarah: As of September, there will be forty-five In Death books by J. D. Robb.
Audience member: I’m never starting that series.
Redheadedgirl: Fuck my life.
[Laughter]
Sarah: Which of the following is not one of them? Now, remember, there’re four rounds, and you’ve got an Ask the Audience, okay?
Redheadedgirl: I gotta?
Elyse: You don’t –
Sarah: You have one.
Redheadedgirl: I’m required to?
Sarah: No, you have one!
Redheadedgirl: I’m just –
Sarah: You can. Okay.
Redheadedgirl: – checking.
Sarah: You don’t have to.
Redheadedgirl: I’m just checking the rules.
Sarah: Okay.
[Laughter]
Sarah: So, there’s –
Redheadedgirl: Carry on.
Sarah: – forty-five In Death Titles, there are four titles coming at you, one of them is not real. So three are real, one is fake.
Number 1: Loyalty in Death
Number 2: Naked in Death
Number 3: Daring in Death
Number 4: Festive in Death
[Laughter]
Redheadedgirl: Okay. Are, are you saying that the second one is the one that –
Audience member: The second one is real.
Redheadedgirl: The second is real, okay.
Amanda: Are you Asking the Audience?
Redheadedgirl: Obviously, I’m Asking the Audience for help. Obviously! I am ask –
Amanda: I’m just asking.
Redheadedgirl: Okay. It’s three?
Audience member: It’s three.
Redheadedgirl: It’s three? Okay. If you guys are wrong –
[Laughter]
Audience member: I haven’t even read them and I know.
[Laughter]
Redheadedgirl: Okay, the third one. The third one.
Audience member: – like a holiday –
Sarah: Your audience is right.
[Cheering]
Redheadedgirl: Thank you very much!
Audience member: That’s all right.
Sarah: Carrie?
Carrie: Okay. In lieu of playing a game, I’d like to use this amount of time to explain the complicated sex life of Edgar Allan Poe.
[Laughter]
Sarah: Uh.
Audience member: I don’t think that’s an option.
Amanda: I don’t think we have enough time for that.
Sarah: I’m sorry, Carrie. It’s amnesia time.
[Laughter]
Carrie: Ahh.
Redheadedgirl: Carrie, Carrie, would you like to talk about Lord Byron for a bit?
Carrie: I would love to – wouldn’t, wouldn’t you rather hear about Lord Byron? I have thoughts! Okay, go –
Robin: She walks in, she walks in beauty like this question.
[Laughter]
Robin: Which of the following is NOT, not a Harlequin or a Silhouette title?
Number 1: The Sheriff’s Amnesiac Bride
Number 2: Amnesiac Bride for the Sheriff
[Laughter]
Sarah: Oh, come on!
Robin: Number 3: The Amnesiac Bride
And number 4: The Sheriff and the Amnesiac
[Laughter]
Robin: We’re looking for the fake title.
Audience member: It’s number three.
Carrie: All right.
Sarah: Those are real?
Audience member: Probably.
Carrie: Okay, so, I’m not Asking the Audience yet. I’m processing, so. It could be either A or B, just ‘cause they’re so similar, but I’m kind of thinking maybe C.
Sarah: The Amnesiac Bride.
Carrie: I think it’s The Amnes- – so I’m looking for the pretend one, right? The fake one.
Robin: Yes!
Carrie: Yes. I think it’s C.
Robin: The correct answer is Amnesiac Bride for the Sheriff.
[Groans]
Redheadedgirl: So I can clearly not take the one in front of you.
[Laughter, cheering]
Audience member: Did you say that ‘cause – ?
Redheadedgirl: Yes.
Sarah: You want to read all the titles and authors?
Robin: Oh, sure. So, the, the actual titles that, the ones that are real, The Sheriff’s Amnesiac Bride, Linda Conrad, 2008; The Amnesiac Bride, Marie Ferrarella?
Amanda: Mm-hmm.
Robin: – 2011; and The Sheriff and the Amnesiac, Ryanne Corey, 2011. 2011 was a bad year for losing your memory.
[Laughter]
Sarah: Yeah, yeah.
Amanda: I’m –
Sarah: Thank you.
Amanda: I’m really surprised Harlequin hasn’t started just a complete amnesiac line –
[Laughter]
Amanda: – at this point.
Sarah: Harlequin Amnesia.
Audience member: All amnesia all the time.
Sarah: All right, Elyse?
Elyse: All right.
Sarah: Ready? All right, here we go. Now, I know you like to read some fucked-up shit.
Elyse: I do!
[Laughter]
Sarah: So I just want you to know, I went out and found you some.
Elyse: Thank you.
Sarah: Which of the following – yes, there are tentacles potentially involved here.
Elyse: Okay.
Sarah: Which of the following is not a real book or series for sale right now on Amazon for your buying pleasure? So one of these is not real; three of them are real. Okay.
Number 1: Lost in Him, a New Adult alien seduction romance
Number 2: Maid in Space, that’s M-A-I-D, Maid in Space –
Audience member: Of course it is.
Sarah: – a New Adult billionaire science fiction romance
Amanda: It’s just about Rosie the Robot from The Jetsons.
Sarah: That’s right.
[Laughter]
Sarah: No, it’s that, it’s that big robot that sucks the air out of planet in Spaceballs. It’s Mega Maid!
Redheadedgirl: Nooo!
Sarah: She’s gone from suck to, suck to blow.
Audience member: She went from –
Audience member and Sarah: – suck to blow –
Sarah: – poor thing. All right, so number 3: The Death series, New Adult dark paranormal science fiction romance
And number 4: The World Outside, clean Amish and motorcycle club romance
[Laughter]
Audience member: And there’s your mechanics.
Carrie or Elyse: There’s – is there snow?
[Laughter]
Audience member: It’s possible.
Sarah: I hope so. Do you need me to read those again?
Elyse: No, I – no.
[Laughter]
Elyse: No.
Sarah: New Adult alien seduction science fiction billionaire?
Elyse: We’re just, we’re just going to go with the, the one-in-four chance here. I’m going to say number 1 is fake.
Sarah: You’re right.
Elyse: Holy shit!
[Cheering, applause]
Amanda: Wow, Elyse!
Sarah: I made up Lost in Him, New Adult alien seduction romance. Maid in Space: New Adult Billionaire Science Fiction Romance is by Amber Stuart. The Death Series: New Adult Dark Paranormal/Science Fiction Romance is by Ruby Scott, and The World Outside: Clean Amish and Motorcycle Club Romance is by Etenia Hoffman.
Audience member: Oh, my God!
Amanda: All right!
Sarah: This is, this is, it is a wonderful world that we live in, y’all. M’kay.
Audience member: So you can find them!
Sarah: Robin is like, I am all over that right now. All right. So this is for Amanda.
Audience member: Maid in Space: Part 1 is free, if anyone –
[Laughter, applause]
Sarah: Maid in Space: Part 1 is a big old free book, huh? If you, if you listen to the podcast, you know that I will link to all the books that we discuss, and I will link to all the books in this quiz! With Amanda’s help; Amanda helps me do that.
Amanda: Yep.
Sarah: All right. All right, Amanda, Robin’s got your question.
Amanda: Robin again?
Sarah: We’re trading back and forth, babe.
Robin: She’s evil! Which is not, not a real book?
Backwoods Billionaire, a secret billionaire romance
Amanda: Mm-hmm.
Robin: Number 2: The Billionaire, a secret billionaire romance novel
Number 3: The Billionaire’s Nanny Bride, a billionaire marriage-of-convenience romance
Or number 4: Outback Billionaire –
[Laughter]
Robin: – a steamy standalone billionaire romance.
Amanda: I feel like Backwoods Billionaire is something I’ve seen or would be interested in.
[Laughter]
Sarah: That’s my girl.
Amanda: The second one’s just The Billionaire, a standalone, or, like, a novel, right?
Robin: A sexy billionaire romance novel.
Amanda: Yeah, that one seems really boring. Ugh. Well, and the second one was the nanny one, yeah?
Robin: The third one –
Amanda: Third one.
Robin: – nanny one.
Audience member: The Billionaire’s Nanny Bride.
Amanda: I want to go outback.
[Laughter]
Amanda: I, I will take –
Robin: Maybe after the quiz!
Amanda: I will –
[Laughter]
Amanda: It’s like, I will take that Bloomin Onion, please. I’m going to go with that one.
Robin: The fake one, unfortunately, is Backwoods Billionaire.
Amanda: No!
[Laughter]
Audience member: Someone needs to come write that, right now!
Amanda: Robin, you just broke my heart!
Robin: I’m sorry. No, no, I just gave you an opportunity!
Amanda: I don’t have time for that at all.
Robin: Outback Billionaire: A Steamy Standalone Steakhouse Billionaire Romance –
[Laughter]
Robin: – no – is by Nikki Steele. Billionaire’s Nanny Bride is by Amanda Horton, and The Billionaire is by Bella Bentley.
Audience member: Amazing.
Amanda: Elyse has two, Redheadedgirl has one, Carrie and I are goose-egging it up over here.
Sarah: All right, now we move into the speed rounds of true/false.
Audience member: True/false!
Sarah: Okay, so we’re going to, I’m going to move between me and Robin with the true/false. So first, Redheadedgirl.
Redheadedgirl: Yes.
Sarah: True or false? There is a Harlequin romance called The Secret Baby.
Redheadedgirl: True!
Sarah: Yes!
Robin: Yes!
[Cheering]
Sarah: It is – hey, let me grab that back – it is by Amy Frazier. It is also a Harlequin Treasury title. The Harlequin Treasury titles were older, older Harlequins that they digitally scanned.
Redheadedgirl: I figured there had to be, like, a trope codifier.
Sarah: It’s the, it’s the, it’s like the, the, the patient zero of secret babies, right?
Several audience members: Yeah!
Sarah: The thing about –
Amanda: The very first secret baby.
Sarah: Right. The thing about the scanned books is they have this great OCR scan error? Do you know about arms and anus?
Audience: Yep. Yeah!
Sarah: So when you have a serif font, which is the font with little extra bits on the ends and those get scanned and read by a computer, it, it reads “arms” as “anus.”
Audience member: And that’s fun.
Sarah: So if you – which is just great – so if you go to Google Books, like if you’re having a really shitty day, right, and you’re like –
[Laughter]
Sarah: – I’ve got nothing to help me out here, you just go to Google Books and, ‘cause they have all the old books that have been scanned this way and then just – [pop!] – popped on the Internet – that’s the official sound when you upload something.
[Laughter]
Sarah: Upload an image! [Pop!] So, what you do is you search for “threw her anus” in quotes, and you’ll get page after page: “She threw her anus around his neck.” “She threw her anus around him.” “She threw her anus…” And, and then when you think, okay, what other cliché phrases involve arms? Okay.
Robin: Wrapped his anus.
Sarah: Wrapped his anus. “He wrapped his anus around…” I mean, there’s so many things that you can do with this. If you’re having a bad day, we’ll make it better.
Amanda: There could just be in his anus as well.
Sarah: Yes, in his anus. But then, as a librarian, you’re probably familiar.
Carrie: Collapsed in his arms?
Sarah: Yes. She, she collapsed in his anus! She just crawled up there and took a nap.
[Laughter]
Audience member: She couldn’t wait to be in his anus.
Robin: Big, strong anus.
Sarah: His big, strong anus. Now the thing is, what’s weird is that you’ll actually pull up legit results for this, usually the Longarm cowboy books –
Robin: Yes.
Sarah: – which are the most filthy books. Like, everyone talks about how our books are filthy? Longarm is the filthiest thing you will ever read in your – they’re all, they’re all cowboy porn for –
Robin: Yep.
Sarah: – basically for men. They’re super gross, so you’ll pull up some, some Longarm and be like, oh, ugh.
[Laughter]
Sarah: All right, Carrie –
Robin: Longarm should be a clue.
Sarah: Longarm should totally be a clue, right? Long anus. So anyway.
[Laughter]
Sarah: So, Carrie, are you ready?
Carrie: I’m ready!
Sarah: All right.
Robin: True or false? There is a Harlequin romance called Triplet Secret Babies.
Carrie: Wait, are we suggesting that they’re the babies of triplets or that the babies are triplets?
Sarah: You –
Audience member: That was my question.
Robin: You be the judge.
[Laughter]
Robin: You make the call.
Sarah: Triplet Secret Babies.
Carrie: I’m going to, I’m going to Ask the Audience.
Audience member: What do we do?
Carrie: Google, people, Google! Triplet, Triplet Secret Babies! I can’t, I’m not allowed to, but, but I didn’t hear you can’t.
Audience member: That secret’s true.
Carrie: What – say it again.
Robin: Triplet Secret Babies.
Audience member: It’s true.
Carrie: What do we think?
Audience member: It’s true.
Carrie: Do-do-do, okay, true.
Robin: It is true!
[Cheering]
Robin: By Judy –
Carrie: Thank you, audience!
Robin: – Christenberry.
Sarah: Judy Christenberry also wrote one of my favorite older Harlequins called Who’s the Daddy?
[Laughter]
Robin: Of the triplets?
Sarah: I’ve read that one. Right, so she gets pregnant, and then she gets amnesia. But it’s not Pregnesia; that’s a whole other book.
Audience member: Right.
[Laughter]
Sarah: And there’s a scene in Who’s the Daddy? where the heroine gets morning sickness and then kisses one of the heroes who’s vying –
Audience: Ohhh!
Sarah: – and I was like, somebody edited bad. All right. Who’s next? Elyse.
Elyse: Yes.
Sarah: True or False? There’s a Harlequin titled Secret Christmas Twins.
Elyse: Yes. Yes.
Sarah: True! You are right!
Elyse: Yes!
Sarah: That is by Lee Tobin McClain.
Robin: True or false: There is a Harlequin titled Twins for Christmas.
Amanda: I feel like we haven’t had a false, and it’s throwing me off!
Elyse: You’re in your head!
Audience member: All the answers are C!
[Laughter]
Amanda: I’m going to say, with the sheer amount of things Harlequin has published, I don’t believe that book does not exist.
Audience member: [Laughs] Why?
Other audience member: ‘Cause I’m so confused.
Amanda: It’s, it’s been a long day.
Robin: Sooo –
Amanda: It’s been a very long day. I stood in that Avon line for all of my life, and I walked, and I had no books, so I’m having PTSD right now. True?
Robin: True!
[Cheering]
Robin: By Amanda Renee.
Sarah: Yes.
Redheadedgirl: I’m sensing a pattern here, and the pattern is that Harlequin has a fuckload of titles.
Amanda: Yeah, they do.
Redheadedgirl: Like, a lot!
Robin: And I never want twins for Christmas! Ne-ver!
Audience member: They’re stuck in the snow! They’re snowbound!
Redheadedgirl: Yay!
Sarah: How do you think I found this?
[Laughter]
Sarah: All right, Redheadedgirl –
Carrie: Okay, can I just say that my idea of hell would be to be – are they infant twins?
Amanda: Probably, yeah.
Sarah: Of course!
Carrie: Okay, like, that is not a sexy story.
Audience member: Right?
Other audience member: I think, I think it’s actually, she’s giving birth, isn’t it?
Another audience member: Oh, God!
Audience member: I think she’s heavily pregnant, and they’re stuck in the snow.
Other audience member: And like –
Redheadedgirl: No.
Other audience member: – he rescued her from the car that slid off the – I think it’s a Texas-based book.
Sarah: You are amazing!
Carrie: Wow.
Audience member: – terrified of the idea of snow in Texas, right?
Sarah: Twins are the least of your problems.
Audience member: Here’s this random knowledge up there that’s really scary.
Sarah: I’m so deeply impressed right now, like, I can’t even tell you. Okay, Redheadedgirl.
Redheadedgirl: Yep.
Sarah: True/false.
Redheadedgirl: Yeah.
Sarah: There is a Harlequin titled The Cowboy’s Secret Twins.
Redheadedgirl: Of course there is!
[Laughter]
Sarah: So that’s a true?
Redheadedgirl: That’s a true.
Sarah: You are correct; that is a true.
Redheadedgirl: I know.
[Applause, laughter]
Sarah: All right. Now, Carrie.
Robin: True or false? There is a Harlequin titled The Cowboy SEAL’s Triplets.
[Laughter]
Carrie: The Cowboy SEAL – okay, I’ve already asked you guys.
Sarah: No helping! No helping!
Carrie: There, there – okay, I can’t look at you if you’re not –
Redheadedgirl: Just –
Carrie: False, I think it’s false. It’s false.
Robin: It is true!
Audience: Ohhh!
Robin: And Tina Leonard would like a word with you, ma’am.
Carrie: Okay, cheating audience, you did not help me at all! I saw all these no, no!
Sarah: Elyse?
Audience member: Clearly he’s very virile!
Carrie: How could you be a cowboy –
Sarah: It’s a very virile cowboy SEAL. Or maybe he’s a –
Audience member: -swimming.
Sarah: Maybe he’s a cowboy Navy SEAL Viking vampire angel.
Robin: Merman, merman. It has to be!
Sarah: All right, Amanda?
Amanda: No, it’s Elyse’s turn.
Elyse: No, it’s me.
Sarah: No, I know it’s Elyse’s turn.
Amanda: Oh.
Sarah: I’m just doing a score check right now. Where are we?
Amanda: Oh, Elyse and Redheadedgirl are tied with three.
Sarah: Mm-hmm.
Amanda: Carrie and I have one.
Sarah: Okay. All right, Elyse?
Elyse: Yes.
Sarah: True or false? There is a Harlequin titled The Christmas Twins.
Elyse: Didn’t you just ask me that?
Sarah: No.
Amanda: No, that was Twins –
Sarah: Twins for Christmas!
[Laughter]
Amanda: Completely different book!
Sarah: See, the, the twins for Christmas are in a box?
Elyse: Right.
Sarah: This was a year after they put their junk in the box.
[Laughter]
Redheadedgirl: Right, and the Christmas –
Elyse: No, their last, their last name is Christmas.
Redheadedgirl: I see. They’re, they’re obviously coming in stockings, though.
Amanda: Christmas Twins.
Sarah: So we have The Christmas Twins.
Elyse: Y-, sure. Yes. True.
Sarah: True! Well done!
Elyse: Thank you!
[Applause]
Audience member: And that’s a single parent book.
Amanda: Yes.
Robin: Hello!
Audience member: Who are you?
Audience member: It’s by the same –
Other audience member: I read lots –
Audience member: – as the cowboy SEAL!
Sarah: Right?
Audience member: She loves babies!
[Laughter]
Other audience member: I read lots of Harlequin when I was young! [Laughs]
Audience member: And you retain them!
Sarah: All right.
Elyse: I want to know what all these people are eating that they’re having multiples, like, all the time. Jesus!
Sarah: All right! So what’s our final score, ‘cause that was all four rounds.
Redheadedgirl: Those are not – no, no, no. Oh, no, no.
Sarah: What?
Amanda: I’m the last one.
Sarah: You’re the last one.
Amanda: Yeah.
Sarah: I beg your pardon.
Amanda: I mean, it doesn’t matter.
[Laughter]
Sarah: But I should ask the question, right?
Amanda: It doesn’t matter.
Sarah: All right, you can ask you –
Amanda: The answer has to be true, because all of them have been true, and if you pull a mean trick on me and it’s false, I’m going to be real upset.
[Laughter]
Sarah: Well, shit, I guess that’s the end of the show!
Amanda: Yeah!
Sarah: Thanks for coming!
Redheadedgirl: She does have access to the back end of your website.
Sarah: Oh, yeah, she’s got –
Amanda: True.
Sarah: – super admin; she’s going to fuck it all up. All right. So here’s the last question. If you would like to ask the room and your, and your coworkers you may. All right, here we go. True or false?
Amanda: True.
[Laughter, applause]
Robin: Awesome! Hooray!
Sarah: Are you sure?
Amanda: Yes.
Sarah: Would you like to phone a friend?
Amanda: No.
Sarah: Okay.
Amanda: Audience, is it true?
[Chorus of agreement]
Amanda: True.
Sarah: All right, true or false? You can buy a book called The Cowbear’s Secret Christmas Baby.
Audience member: What?!
Other audience member: Ohhh!
Sarah: Cowbear, not cowboy. The Cowbear’s Secret Christmas Baby. You have three seconds.
Amanda: I have three seconds! I gave you my answer three times! One for each second!
[Laughter]
Sarah: So you say this is a real book.
Amanda: I mean, we’ve had a lot of cover snark on the site where people have been fucking bears on the covers?
Robin: Those fucking bears. [Laughter]
Amanda: So –
Sarah: That’s what half of Chicago says!
Amanda: Yeah! So why can’t cows and bears, you know? So, true, still.
Sarah: I guess?
Amanda: Answer has been unchanged.
Sarah: Yes, it is true, well played.
[Laughter, applause]
Elyse: So –
Sarah: All right, so wait a second.
Elyse: So, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Sarah: Wait a second.
Elyse and Redheadedgirl: Wait, wait, wait.
Elyse: Is this, is this a cowboy who’s a bear shifter?
Robin: Yes, yes.
Elyse: Or is it like a cow-bear hybrid? It’s very vague.
Robin: A cowboy who’s a bear.
Sarah: This series is the Curvy Bear Ranch.
Audience member: Oh, come on.
Robin: A cowboy who’s a bear.
Sarah: That’s right, they like their women curvy! They have good taste!
Audience member: So he’s a bear.
Elyse: Like, a combination, we want, like, a grizzly-Holstein hybrid.
Amanda: Yeah!
Sarah: Mail-order bride!
Audience member: They’re werebears.
Sarah: They are werebear cowboys.
Amanda: Oh, man.
Sarah: There’s a whole bunch of them!
Audience: No.
Robin: Not like this!
Audience member: – mail order.
Sarah: There’s a mail-order Cowbear.
Redheadedgirl: Of course there is!
[Laughter]
Elyse: You, you know I’m going to review this, right?
Sarah: Yeah –
Audience member: What a terrible surprise.
Sarah: I know, right?
Amanda: Are Cowbears where Omaha Steaks is going to get their new meat?
Sarah: That’s right.
Robin: Ohhh.
Amanda: The mail-order Cowbear?
Sarah: And the Trump steaks, too, baby.
Audience member: She has a very nice manicure.
Other audience member: She does!
Sarah: She does have a nice mani. These covers are really nice! With Cowbears.
Sarah: All right. So that, ladies and gentleman, is our show! Thank you for coming!
Amanda: Elyse is the winner, by the way!
Audience member: Now!
Redheadedgirl: Elyse, Elyse is the winner.
Amanda: Elyse is the winner.
Sarah: Elyse is our winner. She gets the people’s ovation and fame forever –
Elyse: Thank you.
Sarah: – and a Cowbear. I’ll buy you all of these books. Cowbear.
Now, I have some extra time, and I won’t speak for everyone else here, but I have a, I have an extra few minutes. If you would like to ask us any questions, you are welcome; open Q & A for a few moments.
Amanda: Only true/false for me, please.
[Laughter]
Audience member: He must risk his own life to save his son’s.
Redheadedgirl: Ugh.
Audience member: Aw!
Sarah: He’s a Cowbear! It’s dramatic! So does anyone have any questions they want to ask us? Totally cool if not, but you can ask us anything. Yes, ma’am.
Audience member: Do you have any suggestions or strategies to help you have your children leave you the HELL ALONE WHEN YOU’RE READING A BOOK?
Sarah: Do we have any suggestions for –
Redheadedgirl: Don’t have any!
[Laughter]
Elyse: I had my ovaries taken out. Well, just the one. The other one’s fucked up, though. So, that helps a lot. However, the cat, if I’m reading something, likes to, like, lie immediately across it.
Audience member: Of course!
Carrie: I have a thirteen-year-old, and I can tell you that when I was pregnant, I had very strong feelings against screen time, and I can tell you that those strong feelings went away about three seconds after I gave birth.
[Laughter]
Carrie: So if you feel a need to put them in front of the screen so you can read, I will not judge you. I did find, I, when, when mine was really little, I could find, like, little play spaces where I could read while she played, and some people are like, oh, mothers shouldn’t look at their iPhones when their kids are playing, and I’m like, you know what? Our children need attention and love, but nobody wants to be stared at 24/7! That’s creepy! Let them play; I’ll read my book! You know, so, you know, distraction and, in my case, sometimes screaming.
[Laughter]
Carrie: There has –
Audience member: That’s the general method.
Carrie: Okay, yeah. I don’t think I have anything new and magical, but screaming has been a big part of my life.
Sarah: Well, I think what you have to do is, is work your way up to total fear? Like, there’s a point where my kids know that if I’m working, if I’m editing, if I’m recording, unless there’s actual arterial blood spray, you leave me the fuck alone. And, like, when I get mad, I can’t yell, ‘cause I have, like, delicate vocal cords, so if I yell I will lose my voice immediately. I only do that when they’re unsafe, so if they hear me yell, they’re like, shit! So, like, if I’m, like, guys? I need you to go outside, they’re like, yes, Mom! So, like, shit’s about to go down! Let’s go play basketball.
The other thing that I do is that my kids have mandatory reading time, and so I enforce complete silence. Like, you can have all the snacks you want, you can have all the drinks you want. Blankets? Outside, inside? That’s fine, but we all have to read for whatever, how many minutes. My younger son is thirty minutes; my older son is probably closer to forty-five minutes? So, like, we’re all going to read together, and then sometimes my, my younger son, who – so, I have an older son who’s an introvert and a younger son who’s an extrovert who also processes things by talking, and there are times when I’m like, listen, buddy, I’m out of words. I will listen, and I will nod, but I am out.
All right, does anyone else have any suggestions for getting your kids to leave you alone while you’re reading, short of violence, locking them –
Audience member: No. [Laughs]
Sarah: You can also hide.
Audience member: No! No.
Sarah: So, I mean, eventually, if you have a dog, the dog will find you. Like, why are you peeing alone?
[Laughter]
Sarah: Does anyone else have a dog that doesn’t let them pee alone? Right? What –
Audience member: Cats.
Sarah: Cats?
Audience member: They come.
Sarah: Oh, the cat just puts his paw under the door, like where are you?
[Laughter]
Sarah: So the question is, how do we keep track of what we’ve been reading?
Audience member: – remember where –
Amanda: If –
Sarah: I will tell you very quickly. I am afraid of Goodreads, that if I make complicated lists with notes and my own input that it’s going, the privacy settings are going to change, and it’s going to be made public, and that would be bad because I am, I have very specific, I make very weird and sometimes harsh notes for reviews, so I actually have a manual to-be-read page where I write my books –
Audience member: It’s colorful!
Sarah: No, that’s my, that’s my habit tracker. This is just a bunch of boxes for the month, and I write down what the book is, when it comes out, and if I have to read it in the previous month, I draw a little arrow. So I keep track of it on paper. I don’t remember titles or authors or series or whatever the hell just happened, so, like, if I’m in the middle of a series, eh, I’m okay. I usually don’t, I usually clock out of series or duck out of series, like, by book three, ‘cause I have, I have an ending thing. Like, I don’t know if you read romances ‘cause you know how they’re going to end? I don’t trust television writers, ‘cause I don’t trust that they know the end, and I don’t necessarily trust a long series if the end is not known? I get a little antsy; like, you don’t know where you’re going, so I don’t really trust this experience anymore. Like, I couldn’t do In Death because I’m like, there’s no end in sight. I can’t, I can’t go with no end, right? So –
Audience member: With descriptions.
Sarah: Right? So I end up writing down my schedule on a piece of paper, and I just always have it with me.
Redheadedgirl: Yeah, I just don’t. I have a Goodreads page –
Sarah: Also an option.
Redheadedgirl: I have, forgot the password for it, like, five years ago? People keep asking, can I be your friend on Goodreads? And I’m like, I really don’t care, because I don’t remember the password, and I’m not interested in finding it.
Amanda: Elyse and I are both on – oh, sorry, Redheadedgirl!
Sarah: You go ahead.
Amanda: Elyse and I are both on Goodreads. You’re welcome to friend me; I’m not going to speak –
Elyse: Yeah!
Amanda: – for Elyse, yeah.
[Laughter]
Amanda: We also have a SmartBitches Goodreads where we put all of our reviews, and if it’s a review by Elyse and me, we’ll include a link to our own personal ones in that review.
Elyse: I don’t.
Amanda: I put it in.
Elyse: Oh, thanks. Thanks!
Amanda: Yeah. I, I’m the one who does the Goodreads, so I put it in.
Elyse: Okay.
Amanda: [Laughs] And then I started a bullet journal this year to keep track of my reading, which has nicely, like, held me accountable. Like, did I read today? And I’ll check it off, and I do some challenges on Goodreads to kind of, I don’t know, gamify my reading sort of thing, so that motivates my reading. But that, those are the main ways I keep track, is Goodreads, which I’m addicted to, and my journal.
Elyse: I said I wasn’t going to do Goodreads this year, ‘cause then I get super competitive with myself when I set my reading target –
Audience member: Yep.
Elyse: – and I looked at this morning, and it’s like, you’re twenty-seven books behind! And I was like, challenge accepted, motherfucker, right?
[Laughter]
Robin: I’m so glad to hear you say that!
Audience member: Oh, my God.
Robin: Yes! I use Goodreads too. I don’t review anything, because I suck at writing reviews, but I do try to write down everything that I’ve read and whether, you know, five stars or whatever, but, yes, I’m ten books behind, like, consistently, until some point in the year I manage to get caught up, and then I’m, like, happy for a week or two, and then I fall behind.
Audience member: You could change the challenge number.
Amanda: Well, that’s, that’s quitters talk.
Robin: I can’t, no, I can’t!
[Laughter]
Amanda: So –
Robin: I can’t!
Elyse: I anxiety read, and so there will hit a point in the year where I will suddenly be over that number, and then books that I all just read have, like, very graphic murders in them, and that’s when I know, like, maybe we should book a vacation, so.
Sarah: Goodreads is a stress measurer?
Elyse: Good-, Goodreads is a good stress measurer, yeah.
Sarah: Carrie, how ‘bout you?
Carrie: I don’t use Goodreads. If I, if I find out that something is coming out that I want to read, then I put on my calendar, I have a – you know how on Google Calendar you can color code stuff? So I have, like, a color code for book and movie release dates.
Audience member: Oh, cool!
Carrie: So I put those down so I don’t forget to try to request it from either the publisher or the library or just go to the bookstore and buy it, and then for reviewing purposes, I type out a list at the beginning of every month, and then I have it kind of taped up over my desk so I know what I’m going to review that month, and then I also usually type, you know, like, the next, part of the next couple months coming up, ‘cause I kind of have an idea, and then I write all over it in pen so that by the end of that month it’s a hot mess, and then I type the new fresh, revised copy for the next month and, you know, because when I review, I try to review, like, one classic a month, and I’m not wedded to these, but I, you know, I try to review, like, a comic book a month and an LGBT a month and, you know, like, there’re certain things that I try to kind of like to hit pretty often, and I don’t want them to fall through the cracks, so that kind of helps me focus a little bit.
Sarah: Are there any other questions? You guys, thank you so much – oh, wait, hold on! Hi, Stephanie! What’s up?
Stephanie: I was wondering if anything new and exciting on the blog.
Sarah: Anything new and exciting on the blog? Ooh, that’s a question for me.
Stephanie: Or a new feature
Sarah: A new feature.
Amanda: I’m thinking.
Sarah: Hmm. Let’s see. Well, Elyse is going to be recapping The Bachelorette with Kraken rum and Coke.
[Cheering]
Elyse: Yep.
Sarah: And Redheadedgirl is going to be recapping both Poldark and the return of –
Elyse and Sarah: – Outlander –
Sarah: – when they come back this fall.
[Applause]
Redheadedgirl: In the fall, both at once, because PBS and Starz want me to die.
[Laughter]
Audience member: Well, that’s why they –
Sarah: Amanda is still doing “Covers & Cocktails,” where once a month she designs a cocktail to go with a book.
Amanda: Yeah, the, today, or this month’s post went up; there’s a giveaway with the post. There’re three copies of a book to give away.
Sarah: And Carrie always does “Romance Wanderlust” where we get to travel vicariously to cool places around the world, and like she just said, she reviews comic books and classics. Like, she reviews Victorian romance that’s actually published in the Victorian era.
And then I’m also building a side project called “Organization Academy,” where – thank you! – I am building an online course for using Google Calendar to simplify your calendar, simplify your schedule, declutter your agenda, and find more free time. So, Google Calendar is really good at helping you streamline and make tasks more efficient, so I have a whole setup of how to teach that, like, on small and larger levels. And if you want to sign up for the newsletter there, you, and I give out weekly organization tips, it’s organizationacademy.com.
And then, of course, I have the podcast, which is awesome, and I am so glad you guys came to be a part of it, so thank you so much! Yay!
[Applause]
[music]
Sarah: And that was part two of our live show. If you got to come and be in the room with us, I really appreciate your being there, and I am super thankful to Patreon supporters who helped make that possible! I hope that you enjoyed it. I hope I get to do more of them, because that was a whole lot of fun! Again, thank you to everyone who helped make that possible. I am deeply, deeply thankful.
This podcast is brought to you by The Most Dangerous Duke in London by Madeline Hunter. There are three sinfully handsome dukes, three scores to settle, three hearts about to meet their matches, all in one brilliant new series from New York Times bestselling author Madeline Hunter, one of the most respected names in historical romance. Madeline Hunter is well known for historic detail, irresistible heroes, smart heroines, lush descriptions, witty prose, and unforgettable plotlines. All of these signature elements are on full display in The Most Dangerous Duke in London, which marks her first series with Kensington Publishing. The Most Dangerous Duke in London is based loosely on Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew, pitting a handsome peer against a headstrong, independent lady who refuses to be cowed by her suitor’s persistence and his somewhat nefarious machinations. On sale now wherever books are sold and on kensigntonbooks.com.
If you are a fan of the podcast, thank you for listening and tuning in each week. If you would like to support the show, I invite you to have a look at our Patreon page at patreon.com/SmartBitches. With monthly pledges beginning at one dollar a month, you can help support the show, make the audio even more gooder than it is so far – I’m working on improving it every time – and help me make sure that the show continues with its general awesomeness. I mean, I think it’s awesome; I love doing it. I hope you enjoy it just as much.
And if you have subscribed or left a review or told a friend or you’re just listening right now while you dye wool, walk the dogs, run on the treadmill, clean the house, cook, or do other incredibly cool things – gold stars to you for adulting – thank you! I am deeply grateful that you hang out with me!
The music you’re listening to is provided by Sassy Outwater. You can find her on Twitter @SassyOutwater. This is Caravan Palace. I am slowly making my way through their two-album set because it’s rad! This set includes Caravan Palace and Panic. This track is called “Maniac.” You can find them on their website or on iTunes or Facebook, and you can find this album wherever you buy your music, including Amazon, iTunes, and whatever cool musical inclinations you might have for shopping. If there are better music sites, let me know, ‘cause I generally go to those two.
The links to everything we talked about, including all the books in the quiz, will be at smartbitchestrashybooks.com/podcast.
I also want to say one last thank-you to garlicknitter, who transcribes these episodes each week. This one and the last one were probably a bit of a challenge, and I am very thankful for her most excellent attention to detail. Thank you, garlicknitter, for making the show accessible to everyone and giving us a written transcript. [gk: You’re very welcome!]
And that is it! I’m done talking now.
On behalf of myself and everyone here, both dogs, who are now snoring, I wish you the very best of reading. Have a great weekend. I’ll see you next week.
[cool music]
This podcast transcript was handcrafted with meticulous skill by Garlic Knitter. Many thanks.
Remember to subscribe to our podcast feed, find us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
I am now seeing/hearing/visualising Aussie pop rock standard “Throw Your Arms Around Me” in a whole new light.
I just listened to this while changing sheets and folding laundry after one extremely stressful week and it was perfection, so many thanks to the Bitches and assembled company.
Bring on the Cowbear reviews, stat!
I’m so happy we could help improve your day, Kate! Cowbear high fives!!
I laughed so hard, you gave me hiccups. I loved that you did these podcasts at RT I felt like I was there, so thank you so much they were all great fun.
This was an amazingly fun time and I can’t thank you enough for letting me join in the fun.
Okay. Don’t google “threw her anus” at work. You’ll get a lot of porn. It’s awkward.