Covers Gone Wild! (Non-Snoop Dogg Edition)

Cover Snark: The Ice Caps are Melting

Bearly Better Yeti by Elva Birch. A shirtless man is running his hand through his hair. The background is a beautiful forest and lake. In the bottom right corner is a small polar bear.

Welcome back to Cover Snark! We’re also a little low in the Snark pantry, so feel free to send covers to consider to me or Sarah. From Pam G: So Dr. Nips is back with a truly hideous shirt which he apparently left on when he got the tattoo. Also, where is his left arm? Sarah: The way the mountain cross fades onto his pec looks contagious. Amanda: The metal has got to be real … Continue reading Cover Snark: The Ice Caps are Melting

Cover Snark: Hot Groot

Zerberu by Athena Storm. A shirtless man in space, but it looks like his skin is made out of deli meat, just a very bright red with lots of texture.

Hey, hello! Welcome back to Cover Snark! From Jfhobbit in the SBTB Patreon Discord: I have a submission to Cover Snark, entirely on the basis of their expressions mid-embrace. He looks confused? She looks like she’s trying to imagine she is anywhere else. Amanda: Definitely a “did I leave the hair straightener on” look. Elyse: Or hearing the cat start to puke Tara: He looks like he doesn’t know where he is and she’s considering … Continue reading Cover Snark: Hot Groot

Cover Snark: Once Again, Shirts Are Too Complicated

Bad at Being Good by A.L. Morrow. A man with bleach blond hair in a tight, white long sleeve shirt, but it appears he got distracted putting it on because it only goes to about his nipples.

Welcome back to Cover Snark! Elyse: Is that Taylor Swift? Sarah: Whoa. Maybe? Elyse: “You got that gray-green scaly thing that I like…” Amanda: I appreciate the quality of this cover for such a silly book, but I don’t envy a giant reptile in the snow. From PamG: So. What about this guy’s musculature? I mean his head is literally smaller than his upper left arm (which appears to be whispering in his ear.) The … Continue reading Cover Snark: Once Again, Shirts Are Too Complicated

Cover Snark: Scared Cats & Celebrity Look-A-Likes

Kiss My Sass by C.D. Gorri. A shirtless, tattooed man is looming over a woman wearing a macrame bra that looks painted on. A black bird and black woman are gazing into each other's eyes on the right hand side and a small motorcycle appears to emerge from the couple's legs.

Welcome back to Cover Snark! From PamG: Is her top tattooed on? Are his tattoos decals? Amanda: That wolf is about to eat that bird for sure and the motorcycle feels like a hidden eye image. Sarah: I made that same face when I attended a bralette like that with similar, endowments and was just as disappointed. From Emily Jane Buehler: This one has it all. My favorite part is that the “alien” is depicted … Continue reading Cover Snark: Scared Cats & Celebrity Look-A-Likes

Cover Snark: Aliens Don’t Know the Difference Between a Spoon & a Whisk

Whisked Away by the Alien by Julie K. Cohen. A shirtless blue alien man in a very white kitchen. He has on a chef's hat, which appears to make room for his horns. He has black tribal tattoos on his chest and arms, and is wearing a red apron. In his hands are a wooden bowl and spoon.

Welcome back to Cover Snark! From Dena: My mom is on an alien book kick and showed us this cover. Between the title and the cover, we were all cracking up. He’s SO BLUE. The horns don’t poke out of the hat, they just kind of are shoved in there, apparently. Sarah: First, the listing title must accompany the book: Whisked Away by the Alien: A Curvy Girl Hannukah Sci Fi Alien Romance Second, setting … Continue reading Cover Snark: Aliens Don’t Know the Difference Between a Spoon & a Whisk

Cover Snark: Best of 2023

NB: This week, we’re taking a look back at some of our favorite and our most popular pieces of writing this year. We’ve got a week of best-of posts to share, with reviews, cover snark, and more. We hope you enjoy revisiting our archives, and most of all, we wish you and yours a wonderful holiday and a happy new year – with all the very best of reading. … Say hello to the top … Continue reading Cover Snark: Best of 2023

Cover Snark: Barbie Bendy Legs

The Duke's Virgin Sister by Caroline Lee. A very pale, blonde woman in a red dress. She's sitting on a couch or bed and is bending to caress a bare leg peeking out from her dress.

Welcome back to Cover Snark! Elyse: Dick in a U Sneezy: Never thought about cupping done on a dick until now. Sarah: Also the type treatment makes it look like FUX We could do an entire page of cover art where an ab-tastic dude is lifting his shirt and looking for something and still never know what it is they are looking for. Elyse: Not to be confused with Megatron Amanda: Is Zuck getting into … Continue reading Cover Snark: Barbie Bendy Legs

Cover Snark: Happy Holidays from Krampus

Married to Krampus by Marina Simcoe. A rockabilly styled woman with wavy blonde hair is back to back with a very hairy man with horns. However, his neck, ears, and most of his face are not hairy.

Welcome back to Cover Snark! From Elizabeth S: Simultaneously, ’Why?!?” and ’Yes!?!” Sarah:HOLIDAY TAILS. Amanda: Krampus would have a rockabilly girlfriend. Sarah: On brand, yup. Tara: I want to know his grooming situation. Did he have to wax his ears, cheeks, forehead, nose, and eyelids to appeal to her? Amanda: I also read the author name too fast and thought it said Marinara Sauce. From Pam, about the same cover: No pecs today, just a … Continue reading Cover Snark: Happy Holidays from Krampus

Cover Snark: Another Day, Another Shifter Cover

Daddy Wolf's Fake Marriage by Serena Meadows. A white wolf howls amidst a teal forest. A shirtless man with a wolf tattoo on his pec stands in the foreground. He has cowboy hat photoshopped onto his head and it looks about two sizes too small.

Welcome back to Cover Snark! From Jen: I’m guessing he’s a bear shifter but these covers make it appear the romance is between the guy and the bear. And this bear looks unhappy with the guy. Sarah: The bear totally saw a suspicious text message come in, and is very upset. Poor bear. Tara: Maybe the bear’s just not that into him? Sarah: Well they bearly dated so maybe you’re right! Lara: That bear is … Continue reading Cover Snark: Another Day, Another Shifter Cover

Cover Snark: A Feast for the Eyes

Rescued by the Raider by Riley Onyx. A toxic, bright green cover. A bare-chested man in a leather loincloth and a leather strap across his chest is resting a sword on his shoulder. The blade is definitely against his skin and he has tribal tattoos all over his arm. He is lifting his leg as green spray swirls around his legs.

Welcome back to Cover Snark! From Jennifer: Nothing says vicious raider like pausing the fight for a barre routine… Sarah: Do you think the other Banished Alien Warriors get SO MAD when this guy is on the team with them? “OH HEY! Y’all, I have the perfect synchronized rescue routine for us! Places everyone. And 5 and 6 and 7 and 8!” Amanda: It looks like he’s lifting his leg to air something out. Maybe … Continue reading Cover Snark: A Feast for the Eyes

Cover Snark: What a Smarmy Face

My Season of Scandal by Julie Anne Long. A photography cover. A man is embracing a woman from behind in a golden bedroom. He has on dark pants and an un buttoned shirt. She is wearing a red, off the shoulder dress, and has brown, wavy hair. Her eyes are closed and she's leaning against him. He's looking directly at us with his right eyebrow raised and a floppy bang hanging over his forehead.

Welcome back to Cover Snark! Sarah: I am cry laughing at this expression. Lara: No lord why! That’s not the vibe, Julie Anne Long! Elyse: He totally farted just now Kiki: Ew. Not at farts, farts are fine. This facial expression on the other hand… Claudia: Oh man the series is good but they also had the uncanny valley cover (woman in a green dress) not too long ago, what gives!! Kiki: This is particularly … Continue reading Cover Snark: What a Smarmy Face

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