Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

I’d love to add a parrot to my romance… sauted in olive oil and garlic, with a dash of rosemary, fresh, of course. Stuffed with…I think oranges and mangos and other tropical fruits. Or maybe Froot Loops.

My hero is a chef, and she is a vegetarian. However will they reconcile their differences?

Why am I having a horrible (wonderful?) John Waters “chicken fucking” flashback? Oh, the humanity (or the lack thereof).

I used to work at the publishing house that put out Bird Talk. Now I wonder if their editors were more romantically successful than the editors of, say, Cat Fancy or Dog Fancy.

Why does putting a parrot in my story bring back flashbacks of Clint Eastwood and the orangutan movies??

Way to go Lani Diane Rich!

What the world need now is parrots, sweet parrots…

Um, uh. I have a talking (sentient) parrot in my December 7 Samhain release, Key West Magic (http://samhainpublishing.com/coming/key-west-magic). His name is Guinness. So should I write Bird Talk and tell them about it? Does this mean I’m way ahead of the curve, or that I’m an idiot? No, don’t answer that.

Um, uh. I have a talking (sentient) parrot in my December 7 Samhain release, Key West Magic (http://samhainpublishing.com/coming/key-west-magic). His name is Guinness. So should I write Bird Talk and tell them about it? Does this mean I’m way ahead of the curve, or that I’m an idiot? No, don’t answer that.

I blame the repeating of my post on the topic. ;o) Sorry.

IIRC, Nora Roberts used a parrot in one of her novels, one of the novels in the Calhoun series I think.  In fact, I think it was “Megan’s Mate.”  I also think the bird’s name was “Bird.”

Can you tell I was bummed I wasn’t at home when the Nora quiz came out?

Um, thanks for the link.  Srsly.  I did a bunch of parrot research for my last novel, ditched the pirate+parrot idea, but I’m re-exploring bringing the bird back for my next novel.

The research was fun, but it didn’t make me want to run out and buy a parrot.

How long d’you suppose it will be before some bright spark writes a wereparrot story?

Accidental Goddess by Linnea Sinclair has parrots loose on the space station. And yes, it’s funny because the hero is in charge of the space station. Good book if you want to check it out.

“Their ability to express themselves vocally, their longevity and their interesting personalities” wasn’t what I thought you meant after reading the title of the post.

I am vastly relieved.  Interclass romances never end well…which of course probably means that Aves/Mammalia romance is the next hot thing.

I work in downtown San Francisco, right by the park the “Parots of Telegraph Hill” call home. I have to admit they always cheer me up.

OMG…you heard it here first.  Wereparrots?

Laura Kinsale had a parrot in her very first book!  Way ahead of the curve, as usual.

A man’s pet parrot got very horny and kept nagging for some female companionship.

Giving in, the man took the poor bird to a petshop.  Fifty bucks got the owner to allow the parrot access to the one female bird in the store.

With both birds in the same cage, the men covered the structure with a sheet and left the amorous avians to it.

Moments later there was a terrible squawking and ruckus from the cage, which crashed to the floor, rolling around.

They men whipped away the sheet.  Inside the pet parrot was ripping feathers from the female, who was fighting him beak and claw.

The male bird shrieked over and over, “For fifty bucks I want her NAKED!!!”

Why isn’t the Eggman here? I’m starving to death for some eggs

A woman walks to work every day and she passes a pet shop that is right next door to her office.

Everyday there is a big huge parrot on one of those stick stands , and as she passes he says to her “You’re Ugly”..this goes on every day to and from work.

Starting to get a complex, she really is getting tired of hearing “You’re Ugly”...” You’re Ugly”..so getting ready to leave on vacation, she confronts the owner and he is horrified to learn of his parrots behavior…he assures her he will take care of the problem.

She is getting ready for work on her first day back and is not looking forward to the walk that will take her past that fucking parrot…so…shes close…sees the parrot…slowly passes in front of the parrot…they both are cutting their eyes at each other as she walks by…he says nothing at first..then as he nods his head slowly at her he says…“You Know”....

When I’m reading a romance I’ll take a parrot over a comical dog, which I think is the most overused “quirk” in contemporary romance. Yeesh.

Actually, I used an overly talkative mynah bird as kind of a comic-relief Greek chorus in a free novel I posted on MySpace.  I know I took a mucho grande dose of poetic license to do this—“comic relief” and “Greek chorus” don’t normally go together—but it sure was fun!

How long d’you suppose it will be before some bright spark writes a wereparrot story?

LKH already did a wereswan.  And did the feathers ever fly during that unsexy sex scene.

Wereparrot is just around the corner.

My goodness, they’re everywhere.  I just cut a gratuitous parrot from my manuscript-in-progress, having no idea that mine was but one of many.  I am, however, proud to have done my own small bit to fight against parrot hegemony.

I’d assume, that anyone who owns an intelligent bird like a parrot that’s known to repeat what is hears, WOULDNT regularly have sex in the same room with it.

That’s just ASKING for trouble. =P

I adopted two lovebirds recently from a parrot rescue. The man who runs the rescue also runs a dance studio out of his home, and had a funny story to tell. Apparently a few of the rescue volunteers didn’t mind their language quite well enough around a few of the parrots they were taking care of, and one parrot, named Paco, learned a new word. Some time later, as the organizer was teaching a group of older ladies to line-dance, Paco shrieked out an F-bomb that echoed through the house.

I only keep non-talking birds, and with my pottymouth, that’s probably just as well.