Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

I think he’s been watching too much Dr. 90210 or something. He’s an idiot. Ignore him. Or send him a GC for a makeover.

If a lack of social grace protects me from men like him, I’m glad I’m an American girl!

where does he get his idea of how American women spend their time and money anyway? Desperate Housewives? 90210?

Here in REAL LIFE I’m trying to juggle buying cheaper toilet paper because potatos are now 6 bux for 10 pounds and milk is kissing 5 dollars a gallon. And no! I will not get rid of the internet to save 30 bux a month!!

Anyway, his opinion and the opinion of men like him are a good laugh but are more shallow than his description of American women. 

Remember Julia from “Designing Women”? She could give him the southern smack down with such grace that he’d never recover!

*agape*
*astonied*

“American women also take themselves too seriously”

Hawha?! WFT?!
And most of the English ladies I’ve known take very good care of themselves. Where’d he get this?

What an ignorant jack-ass. I’d like to see what he looks like, because he’s already failed on class or personality. Bet he takes himself too seriously too.

Jezebel’s talked about this AND his response.  Just to fan the flames and all.

http://jezebel.com/gossip/broad-generalizations/sexist-of-the-year-tad-safran-has-no-shame-334676.php

I thought this guy was deliberately being provocative for the sake of the column and the (hopefully for him) attendant publicity.

He knows more about beauty regimens than I do… Maybe that says something bad about me, but it say something equally awful about him.

Word: best26

Maybe it’s best to 26 this whole article, Mr. Safran.

“Annoyingly confrontational”?

Does that mean we get angry when he tries to slap our butt or call us “sweetheart”?

A Southern belle put-down?  Please, us Brits invented the icy thing.  I’d like to see him against the likes of Kristin Scott-Thomas.

He wrote a follow-up the next week…saying he stood by his opinions.  Fine, mate, but you’re so not getting laid either side of the Pond.

The Times also recently had a feature written by a Frenchwoman living in London, telling us Brits how boring, ugly, and generally disgusting we are.  British women, she said, are generally unattractive and have no sense of style, or even any great fashion houses, like for instance Chanel.  Apparently she’d neglected to notice that the face of Chanel is, currently, Keira Knightley.

I can’t help but feel the Times is trying to tell us incredibly ugly British women something…

Perhaps he’s gay.  That would explain the apparent disintrest in getting into either an American’s or Brit’s panties.  And his knowledge of personal care regimes and costs.

I’d like to see him take my mother on.  Sixth generation Texan, raised by a woman who had nine kids and never had to raise her voice to be obeyed.  Just that good at using her words and commanding respect very gently but very distinctly.

What a dick-for-brains moron.  (a phrase my mother would never use, by the way)

I think it amusing that a guy who looks like Mr. Bean and has an ego the size of Chartres Cathedral (and a personality like one of its gargoyles) is just so superior to all of us that he has to make absolutely sure we know that we just don’t measure up to his oh-so-reasonable expectations.

We’re not fifteen thousand times better than he is, so we’re just not good enough.

I have to say, my heart is broken. What will I do without him?

Sweet mother of the gods, if I had the time and money to do those things, I think I’d still rather put it to other uses.  But then I’m a heathen and don’t shave my legs.  Still, I’ve managed to have sex with men in both countries, so not everyone is so stupid as him.

Not only does he start with insulting American and English women he goes on to objectify and generalize Italians, Spaniards, French, and Scandinavians:

“don’t have the curves of the Italians, the simmering sexuality of the Spanish, the sophistication of the French or the openness of the Scandinavians.”

I don’t care if he’s trying to say it as a compliment you shouldn’t just sum up people like that. I’m insulted as a woman and a human being! (So much so I, erm, commented twice…)

Doesn’t taking care of oneself physically usually go hand-in-hand with social graces?  That’s a bit of a disconnect for me. That is, if one is spending that much time to look perfect, wouldn’t one also spend the time to sound and act perfectly?

I’m just asking.

The guy is either gay or wants to be famous. Though why someone would want to be famous for being an a-hole is beyond me. . . .

P.S. And I’ll admit it: I get my eyebrows waxed every six weeks.

Wasn’t there a guy a couple years ago who used the ACLU to get “ladies night” ended in his town? Said it discriminated against men by offering women free or discounted drinks. You know, because you wouldn’t want to offer women free drinks when you’re trying to hook up…. This dude reminds me of him. Dumb.

But on the flip side, two of my best friends in Madison, WI were from Slovakia and Turkey. They said they loved being in the US because they could wear sweats and leave their hair down and skip the make-up. Both were students and mothers, and they didn’t like the pressure of having to look nice when doing something as mundane as shopping or heading to the library. But both admitted the first thing they do when they get home for a visit is hit the beauty salon, because the women in their countries just do not go around town wihtout looking top notch. They’d be ridiculed by the male members of their families, and their moms would give them shash about not taking care of themselves. So yeah, their take on US beauty rituals is a bit different, and certainly farther away from the “Desperate Housewives” backlot this guy seems to have wondered out of. Asshat.

What a knob.

manfool! We have manfool sighting!

What an idiot.
I love the fact that he lambasts us Brits for not spending every waking hour at a beauty salon but then promptly criticizes American chicks for doing it:
“Their obsession with their looks, however, can be unattractive and can even turn unpleasant”
What a lovely way of stereotyping women on both sides of the pond.  I hope that he has a decent stack of porno mags; there can’t be many women who are able to live up to his bonkers expectations.

Holy Christ do I wish that Russia was still the USSR so I could make a joke about how he doesn’t need women from either side of the pond because he was running away to a place where beauty products are distributed equally, etc.  Damn that country.

As the article states he’s a screenwriter, I went to IMDB.com.  Doogal and The Long Weekend?  That’s his entire resume?  I supposed it would be seriously petty of me if I now say “Oh I get it.”

Oh.  I get it.

I don’t know…but this sounds like a great plot for a book.  Not sure what kind of book or what this man’s motivation is…but what a fascinating read it could make!  Especially for the woman who teaches him his place.

BTW, I’m an American.  And my last haircut was seven months ago, at Walmart for god’s sake.

I hate to go against prevailing wisdom, but unfortunately my feel is that the guy would get both American and British women, at least for a while.

Remember the Worst Husband in History, Andrea Yates’ guy?  There were women interested in him.  Live in a converted bus and be barefoot and pregnant—dreamy.

So this stupid man would plausibly get both British women who want to prove that Posh Beckham is not an anomaly and there are other Brits hell-bent on appearance, and American women who want to show him that they could be coy and mysterious and better than Her Majesty in their manners and breeding.

I hope not but…  ::shrugs::

What an idiot. I’m American, and I don’t go to the gym, have a personal trainer, or get a mani/pedi every week. I know many Brits who do. No wonder why this guy is single-no one can live with him and his massive, overblown ego. Idiot.

“I can’t help but feel the Times is trying to tell us incredibly ugly British women something… “
:) I hope that you read the responses to that article, Cat. It was published in the Review section of the Sunday Times.  The woman in question was so cut down to size that I expect to find her under my eggcup anytime soon.

Is there any universal cross cultural way to mark a guy “Not Allowed To Breed” ?

Apparently he’s never heard of the American Women Suck website.

Glad you looked up the movies.  Was wondering if they were romantic comedies…

Is there any universal cross cultural way to mark a guy “Not Allowed To Breed” ?

Yes.  Publish an article like that.

Clueless.  Completely clueless.

“An informal poll of my US female friends…”

Read one, and she hangs out with Paris Hilton.

“...revealed that they spend roughly $700 (£350) a month on what they consider standard obligatory beauty maintenance. That covers haircut, highlights, manicure, pedicure, waxing, tanning, make-up, facials, teeth whitening etc. They will spend a further $1,000 (£500) a month on physical conditioning such as military fitness, spinning sessions, vikram yoga, Pilates, deep-tissue sports massage, personal training etc. On top of that, add the occasional spa day, a week-long “bikini boot camp” in Mexico at the start of every summer and seasonal splurges on personal shoppers and clothing”.

Oh, please.  Show of hands how many American women are spending $1,700. a month on beauty/physical conditioning/brazilian waxes?

“American women see these costs as a simple and sensible investment in their future.”

The man is a genius!  Who needs to spend money on education when you can create a brilliant future for yourself with standard obligatory beauty practices instead.

Step away from your mani-pedi pedestal,  and take a walk outside your narrow-minded, mean-spirited, and ignorant view of women, Mr. Safran!

This fool does not deserve to lick the pedicured or non-pedicured toes of women on either side of the pond!

Tad. Shorthand for precious flower.

What should we do to him?  Give him a full ball-waxing makeover, including bikini boot camp - make him pay for it - then call him stupid.

“That covers haircut”—$30, but I usually trim it myself
“highlights”—nope
“manicure”—take care of it myself
“pedicure”—nope
“waxing”—I’m one of those heathens that still shaves (gasp)
“tanning”—don’t want skin cancer, thanks
“make-up”—maaaaybe 30 bucks a month
“facials”—at home, tube costs $15, lasts months
“teeth whitening”—$25 for a box of strips, but you know, I just brush my teeth regularly

Apparently every woman in America is a high-maintenance, wealthy woman in LA or NYC.

9 out of 10 women worldwide agree that Tad Safran is more uninteresting, uglier and sexist than his male Times correspondent counterparts.

Only kidding. I’m sure the others are uninteresting, ugly and sexist too.

Why do I get the feeling that nothing any women ever does would be good enough for this clown?

An Aussie journo wrote a downright nasty opinion piece for a newspaper here about how “classless” Australian women are compared to European women… And all I could think was ‘this guy has probably just been dumped by his Aussie girlfriend for a much hotter guy’

What a chump.

I like how he praises American mothers for teaching their daughters to buy into our vapid, self-hating culture. That’s really cute.

Are guys like this just trying to ensure they never have sex again?

There was one a week or two ago from New York, I think he was interviewed by Matt Lauer (I know I saw it on MSNBC.) He’s a major “player” in NYC, sleeping with as many women as possible—in the hundreds, he claims—and revealing all his secrets, most of which are sexist, arrogant and obnoxious.

All I could think was that he’s going to have to leave the country if he ever wants to get laid again.

Bewildering that, having detailed what he presumably thinks British women should do to make themselves acceptable to him, he then offers this as evidence of his making an effort on a date: “I’m not saying that I’m the greatest prize out there, but at least I’d put on a clean shirt, shaved and brushed my teeth.”

So if I were to go on a date with him I’d be supposed to be tweaked, groomed, waxed, tanned, yoga-ed, facial-ed etc at a cost of around £350 a month, and his equivalent would be a clean shirt, a shave and a tooth-brush? 

Yeah, *that’s* a guy I’d be interested in pursuing a relationship with.

Doogal? I hated that movie.

At least he’s equally insulting to all women. He’s fair that way.

He reminds me of this surly weirdo in a CBC documentary who ordered his wife on the internet. He claimed Canadian women ‘were spoiled’. Still figuring that one out. I think it means ‘Canadian women won’t sleep with me’. Must be the same with this guy. Women all over the world won’t sleep with him. It’s a little more intellectual than muttering ‘She’s a lez’ into his beer.

Also, why are there still so many idiots who just can’t figure out why they remain single despite the fact that they are wonderful in every possible way and women (or men) are just a bunch of vapid whores blah blah blah etc ad infinitum?

My dad always used to say to me, “Whereever you go, there you are.” As a kid I found this annoying, but now I finally see how true it is. Keep finding yourself in the same situation, again and again? Hmm… what’s the one factor in common? I’ll give you a hint, it starts with Y and rhymes with “you, dummy.”

There was this joke I learned when I was in grad school in Tennessee.  (You’ll have to imagine the drawl—it’s better that way.)

Two aging Southern Belles were sitting on the veranda of the home of one of the Belles.  Belle #1 glanced over at Belle #2, held out her wrist and said, “My husband—for my birthday, he gave me this beautiful tennis bracelet.”

Belle #2 gave the bracelet a polite glance, took a sip of mint julep, and drawled, “Oh really, how nice.”

Belle #1 wanted more of a reaction than that. so she figured she try again.  “My husband, for Christmas, gave me that darlin’ little Mercedes convertible under the porte corchere.”

Once again, Belle #2, glanced over politely and drawled, “Oh really, how nice.”

Now this wasn’t going to do at all.  Belle #1 really wanted more of a reaction.  So she pulled out the big guns.  “My husband—for our anniversary, is goin’ to take us on a round the world cruise.”

Belle #2, as calm as ever, took another sip of julep and drawled, “Oh really, how nice.”

Wel nowl, Belle #1 just had to know what on earth could Belle #2 have received as a gift that made hers pale so in comparison.  “Well, what did your husband get you for Christmas?”

Belle #2 smiled serenely, took another sip from her glass and answered, “My husband got me lessons at charm school so I could learn how to say ‘Oh really, how nice,” instead of ‘Fuck off, you obnoxious bitch.’”

Oh really, how nice, is truly quite a useful phrase.  *g*

Also, hello?  He’s managed to miss the point of Bridget Jones’s Diary as well.  Bridget doesn’t get Mark Darcy by ‘improving herself’—he likes her just the way she is.  It’s a line in the film for goodness sake!

Sounds as if he was so busy worrying about Bridget’s lack of fake tan and gym-attendance that he missed, you know, the point of the whole film.

And it’s not an iconic chick-flick.  It’s a quite pleasant film version of the very clever, funny and subtly subversive book, which makes points that are exactly the opposite to the ones in this article.

So are Canadian women the best of both worlds in his sick little theory? ‘Cause there is some serious comodification going on here.

The comments dissing all the fatties and fuglies out there who’ve “let themselves go” are actually more depressing than the article.

Barb, my dad is from VA and his sisters told me this one…

A girl from Boston is at a gathering in Rich Valley, VA.  One southern lady asks “where y’all from?”

The snooty Bostonian answers “I’m from a civilized place, where we do NOT end a sentence in a preposition?”

The southern lady smiles sweetly and replies, “so sorry, where y’all from, BITCH?”

*I am a greater-Bostonian… no hate mail.  LOL

Oh my goodness, some of the comments after his article are insane.

“British women are truly awful, loud, cheap, binge drinking, obese, often infested with STD’s”

Right.  Yep, that’s us.  Infested.

Liking the jokes, btw!

This idiot doesn’t know what he’s talking about.  I feel sorry for his wife—all her friends must hate him.

BWAH! Chrissy!  Too funny!! I’ll have to tell that to my father-in-law—he loves jokes like that.  I told him “Oh really, how nice,” at least ten years ago and he STILL says it with a sly expression during certain, erm… occasions.

And I apologize for all the typos in mine—just got a shipment of Cuban/Spanish holiday goodies from Miami and I’m on a massive sugar rush.

There was an interesting column in the Globe and Mail the other day, which I think is an interesting foil - a number of comments have brought up other helpful newspaper pieces expressing one man’s opinion on all the ways women suck (and not in a good way). This article is almost a response to that trend, as it talks about (and objects to) the many ways women are represented as loathsome creatures in entertainment.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20071215.wschneller1215/BNStory/Entertainment/

I agree with Sherry.  I think he is hoping that women will start falling over themselves to make him find them attractive.

Either that or he’s trying for notoriety/selling papers. 

Imagine being that blind date he called a pig.  She’d surely recognize herself if she read it.  How mortifying.

My word: ‘congress35’.  He’s not getting any.

The dude’s writing credits include Doogal? The only children’s movie I’ve ever turned off without finishing? Yeah, he’s got as much writing cred as a dirty diaper.

Don’t you just love it when someone with little to no knowledge about a subject then makes sweeping generaliztions about it? I live in LA, and there are plent of unkempt, unattractive women populating the place. They just don’t get on TV as much.

Until I read that article I didn’t realise how many swearwords I knew. What a contemptible little man.

Is the entire point of the article to tell us that women of both nationalities are unworthy of having his manly rod bestowed upon us and therefore we will remained tragically unfulfilled as sentient beings? That whole shtick about American mothers caringly brainwashing their little darlings into self-loathing and painting made my flesh crawl as the daughter of a woman who refused to let either her son or daughter watch sexist children’s programming growing up. (Sooty and Sweep, because Sue was always left at home to do the cleaning up and never got to do anything fun, just in case anyone’s curious.)

Still, at least he won’t have to worry about catching anything nasty off British women in the foreseeable future.

At least he’s honest…even if he’s a bigoted orc.

And these women he surrounds himself with in the US?  Where do they get the effing $$$?  $1700 a month on beauty treatments?!?  I know multi-millionaires who don’t allow their trophy wives this much spending money.

The guy is either gay or wants to be famous. Though why someone would want to be famous for being an a-hole is beyond me. . . .

Maybe he’s drumming up publicity for his movie.

I even tried to engage my manicurist in conversation, but there too failed miserably . . . mainly, though, because my Cantonese is poor.

For someone who was practically raised in a country known for its negotiating and peacekeeping skills (with maybe the exception of Tony Blair), I’m appalled.

Sheesh. If I had an extra $1,700/month I’d be making an extra mortgage payment and extra home equity loan payment so I could pay those suckers off faster. I sure wouldn’t be waxing myself into oblivion.  Wow. This guy needs a reality check of what is realistic to expect in a woman.

And who wants to bet that this fat girl he dated weighed in at oh, 140 lbs or so?!  I only wish I could be that fat again!!  After giving birth to and breast feeding two kids, this body sure as heck ain’t ever looking like a 20 year old body again. And do you know why? IT’S 34 FREAKIN’ YEARS OLD!

Get a clue buddy.

oh my gosh, I read the response he had on the Jezebel site. He talks about someone’s arse taking up two seats on the bus, then mentions a size 16 a little further down.  Does he not get it? A size 16 is not someone with a two-seater ass!!  I’m a size 16 and my ass fits in one seat just fine thankyouverymuch.  Although, my ass is really a size 12 with a size 16 waist above it, but I digress. . . . LOL

He is just so freakin’ clueless I cannot believe it.

I think Sherry’s right.  The real tragedy here isn’t that yet another asshole is squirting out shit, it’s that many women, regardless of country, find dickheadism appealing.  (Pardon me for mixing my anatomical metaphors.) 

Why else are the vilest of murderers inundated with letters from fangirls?  Why else are odious and often talentless rock stars slavered over by groupies?  Why else blah-blah-blah?  The list goes on.

This nimrod’s garden-variety humbuggery doesn’t much bother me.  But if dimwits and enablers were to embrace him because of it, then I would be bugged.

Um.. I think I know why he’s single.

“He’s managed to miss the point of Bridget Jones’s Diary as well.  Bridget doesn’t get Mark Darcy by ‘improving herself’—he likes her just the way she is.  It’s a line in the film for goodness sake!”

He’s a man, of course he missed the point.

He’s being provocative to stir up interest and attention for himself - and it’s working.

And I had the same thought that Sherry did - some women out there are going to flock to him to “prove him wrong”.

Whatever - best policy is to “not take things so seriously” and just ignore the fool.

“The grassy marshlands of Canada.”
The quality of his ignorance is not strined, I see.
Marshlands? As in bogs?
I’d be happy to drop him in one, however.

Over the last month, I’ve gotten tired of looking, well, tired, so I’ve started taking better care of myself.  Let’s break it down.

Haircut, color, and highlights at the beauty school: $35
Updated makeup: $25 at the grocery store
New clothes that actually fit: $100
Manicure: you must be kidding
Pedicure:  I have no toenails.  I keep wanting to schedule a pedicure just to fuck with their heads.  “Ma’am, your toenails… um…”  Me—“Yes?  What’s the problem?”  *hee*
Waxing: Eyebrows only, and I do it myself with those little pre-waxed strips for $5/box.

Um… I’m trying to think of anything else I’ve done.  I think that’s it.

So all told, about $165 spent on my makeover.  I’m clearly a fat ugly cow because I didn’t spend ten times that.  Or is that an indication of my intelligence?  Because clearly I can’t be intelligent AND pretty.  Snort.

How is it that you have no toenails?

I mean, I only have 9 toes (polydactyly runs in my family) and I have to admit I’m amused when the pedicure technician gets to my last “toe” and stares for a moment… but no toenails at ALL!?

Bah!

In the US, if this man had a radio program, he would be called a “shock jock”.

This type has been around since at least the 70’s, and their sole purpose is to generate buzz for personal gain. Ratings, future sales, fame, etc.

The more people you piss off, the greater the gains. The “shock jock” doesn’t even have to totally agree with everything spewed from his/her mouth, as long as it sets the largest number of people into a frothing fit of outrage.

Why? Well you see it happen all the time on the internet when we talk about the train wrecks going on in author/pub lands. Often, try as you might, you just can’t help being drawn into the debacle. As we know, bad publicity can generate sales too.

So for me, I read the article and decided I couldn’t be bothered with increasing the hype for this idiot. The only way to hurt him is to contact the publication if you regularly subscribe or hit the site, and say you won’t be reading anything there anymore. Commenting on the article just gives the idiot draw power.

My 2 cents.

Calling this guy a clueless Neanderthal would be an insult to Neanderthals.

He expects women to spend $20K per annum to do what? Attract the likes of him?

Not in this universe.

Sarah, I had psoriasis of the toenails.  Didn’t even know you could get it there, but naturally I have to be weird.  There were two options—loads of medications that probably won’t work and would cost a bomb, or have surgery to permanently remove the toenails.  My answer?  Buh-bye, pesky suckers!

I have never missed them.  I love my bald toes.  Amazingly, I wear flip-flops all the time and no one ever notices—although at my brother’s wedding, I did take the time to paint the spots my toenails would’ve been, just in case.  My sister-in-law laughed so damn hard at me for that.

Hmm. This guy hangs around with women who are spending $1700 a month on their looks as an investment in their future, and he wonders why they’re so keen to know how much money he makes?

And I think I know what a woman could do to be good enough for him? Be 17 forever. Ick.

Confession time?

Always do my own nails & hair removal…frequently.

If my dog runs with me, does she count as a personal trainer?

Annual perm, never colored…the gray looks blonde, kinda like it.  Did invest in some new makeup and clothing colors so as to not look “washed out”.

BUT, my haircuts cost twice what anyone elses fesses-up to (don’t tell the hubby).

Amelia…New clothes (plural?) that fit for $100.  I’m totally envious, you must have a perfect bod.  For that amount, I’m lucky find a pair of jeans and a new bra.

I hate to see anyone in the writing business be this self-absorbed and this shallow. 

He looks at the women of America and the UK—
the 16-year-old junkies, physics professors, single mothers with a mortgage to pay, ranchers in Elk’s Elbow, Minnesota, proofreaders, chief surgical nurses, founding members of UFO Sighting International, Boy Scout den mothers, oncology patients, Wall Street marketing executives—

and he chooses to discuss their ...
grooming.

One wonders what insights about the human condition illuminate his movies.

How sad that what’s-his-forgettable-name has a platform to speak to the world and uses it for rather nasty drivel.

Compare—Joss Whedon.

It’s all just a big bid for free publicity at a guess. 

By the way, I actually bet that there will be women queuing up to sleep with this guy, and they probably wont give a rats arse that he doesn’t seem to have much respect for them. 

Some women just don’t care who they sleep with as long as his wallet is full.

Am I the only one fascinated by the depth and breadth of his eyebrows?  You’d think he’d take his own advice and get the fuckers plucked.