Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

1. 

   Ash Renata said on 09.01.10 at 06:46 AM • [link]

   Oh dear God, I have never wanted to win something so badly. I’m 27 and have spent over half my life diagnosed with insomnia. I’m not married either, but have always had this little fantasy of being rocked to sleep in big, strong, manly sex-god arms… post-coitus, of course… ;)

   Captcha - using28 - why yes, I happen to be using about 28 different medications for my insomnia… :p

2. 

   HS said on 09.01.10 at 07:51 AM • [link]

   no wedding night story, but i sure would love a great bed to come home to after touring for most of the year.  seriously, my “bed” is one of the benches in a 15 passenger van!!

3. 

   Morgan M. said on 09.01.10 at 01:38 PM • [link]

   Nothing too interesting happened on my wedding night (umm… that came out wrong, I think! It was interesting to US, but I’m not sharing enough of the juicy details to make it interesting to YOU!), and I don’t remember hearing any funny stories about anyone in my family, either… but I’m loving reading about all the funny things that have happened to you guys! Great contest!

4. 

   Kristen A. said on 09.01.10 at 04:58 PM • [link]

   My parents went to Walt Disney World for their honeymoon.  I don’t know exactly when this fell during the honeymoon, but at some point my mom rode the teacups and was then dizzy for the next three days.  This would be why I’ve never ridden any kind of teacup-esque ride.  I know I’ve got a less delicate system than my mother because I can read in a moving vehicle and she can’t, but I really don’t want to test to what extent I might take after her.

   Then there was a friend’s wedding, which I literally did not attend because I planned to be at her next one.  (I didn’t tell her this, of course.)  But I’ve heard the stories from multiple friends who did attend.  Her parents took over the planning to the extent that they (the parents of the bride, to be absolutely clear about my pronouns) had the first dance at the reception.  And the band at the reception said- over the microphone, onstage and everything, that they were the only ones who gave the money back if the couple divorced in under a year.

   At the time everybody thought that was terribly tacky, but later they wondered if it was just a really smart move on the part of the parents of the bride.  They didn’t actually get the divorce proceedings legally underway within the year, so they probably didn’t get their money back, but they had seperated.  (Her second wedding was a courthouse ceremony with just the parents, but I did go to the pizza party she had for a reception.)

5. 

   Sue K said on 09.01.10 at 07:35 PM • [link]

   Not my wedding story, but my parents… the suitcase was filled with uncooked (thankfully) rice…. we were still finding grains of rice in that suitcase for centuries… well, it seemed like centuries!

   {baby needs a new mattress!}

6. 

   Vicki said on 09.01.10 at 08:16 PM • [link]

   Just wanted to add something to go with what Tarka said. My parents had to be blackmailed to come to our wedding (and contributed only the sandwiches). Even better was the wedding present, an electric frying pan my mom got at the swap meet for five dollars. All my brothers got antique furniture worth several thousand dollars but I think I got the most use out of my present. When my oldest brother married three years and two kids after I did, my mom confided that she was still praying I’d meet the right man. I guess she wanted me to be a bigamist.

   captcha - again45 - no will not commit bigamy

7. 

   Shayna Getting Married said on 09.01.10 at 09:02 PM • [link]

   My wedding night story has nothing to do with my wonderful groom, but instead my sister who has a history of lying pathologically and stealing from almost every member of my family.

   I announced my engagement about 6 months before the wedding and that the wedding would be in Las Vegas. Within a month my sister announced that she was also getting married (to her boyfriend of 2 months who I had never heard mentioned) and that she was going to do it the day before me in Las Vegas.
   
   My mother heard this news and told her that if she planned her wedding right before mine that she wouldn’t be able to make it. My mother felt that maybe she was trying to hijack the attention I was getting because I was getting married. So…my sister altered her plans and decided to get married the month before me. She called the family one morning and said I’m getting married this afternoon.

   Within the month before the wedding, she was constantly calling me to tell how she was addicted to drugs and booze and that she was about to get fired from her job. She had already been in and out of rehab multiple times.

   At the time of my wedding, my betrothed and I had just moved to New York City and were still trying to make it there. I had a job that paid nothing and my fiance didn’t have a job so we told our guests that if they wanted to give a gift the thing we needed most was cash.

   Since we were in Vegas, a friend of mine gave us a parrot cup filled with $222 worth of gambling chips. We received cash from everyone else which I hid in the hotel room where we held the reception because I was afraid that my sister might swipe the gifts. Unfortunately, I didn’t hide the gambling chips.

   I bolted out of bed a 7:30am the morning after the wedding because I knew my sister was staying in the suite of rooms that had the gifts. I ran over to the hotel to make sure everything was still there. She hadn’t found the gifts that I had hidden but when i got there I couldn’t find the gambling chips where I had left them the night before.

   I asked my sister where the chips were and she was like “oh, they are right over here.” She handed me the cup and there were only $47 worth chips left in the cup.I accused her of stealing the rest of the chips and she denied it. The reason I accused her is because the rest of my family is extremely honest and would not think of stealing one of my wedding gifts on my wedding day.

   I didn’t speak to her for a year and a half. She called me eventually and confessed to taking the chips.

   I don’t usually put out my family dramas to the public at large but that mattress sounds amazing and too expensive for my pocket book.

8. 

   amybee said on 09.01.10 at 09:21 PM • [link]

   We spent our wedding night at the B&B where the wedding and reception were held. At some point during the reception my friends snuck up to our room and short-sheeted the bed. I didn’t find out until months later who the responsible parties were. It gave us something to giggle about together which set a perfect mood for the rest of the evening.

9. 

   Keri Ford said on 09.01.10 at 10:30 PM • [link]

   We were pulled over for speeding on the way to our hotel.

   Cop gave us THAT grin when he saw the wedding stuff all over the windows, asked us to slow it down, we’d get there and to enjoy our evening.

   Makes me want to write “just married” on my car cause that’s one of the only tickets I’ve ever gotten out of.

10. 

    Megan B said on 09.01.10 at 10:51 PM • [link]

    Our wedding was a morning one one with a brunch reception, so we had a good amount of time to relax afterwards.  We decided to open all our cards once we got to the hotel room, sitting on the bed, drinking champagne, cards strewn about. Somewhere in the middle, we ran across one with a picture of a cat wearing a shiny crown and the words “Happy Birthday, Princess.” We stared at it for a full minute. We were kind of scared to open it…what if one of the great aunts and uncles had just gotten confused? Inside was a note from one of our friends, “I could have gotten a sappy card, but I bet you’ll remember this one later.” We laughed so hard.

11. 

    Maria.Maria said on 09.02.10 at 03:09 AM • [link]

    My wedding night involved whipped cream, the spray can kind. Hubby and I were decided to try something new and we were all excited. But we hadn’t anticipated how cold the “whipped topping” would be. Or how quickly it would get melty and runny. It was a disaster but we had fun cleaning each other up :)

12. 

    Heather said on 09.02.10 at 03:29 AM • [link]

    I don’t get married til next May, so I’m relating my friend’s wedding story. She’s currently deployed, but coming home soon, so maybe I can win her a brand-new bed for her and her (also deployed) husband to put their bondage sheets on. Seriously.

    Em and her husband Bryan are both in the Army. They met, had a hot and sweaty relationship with no intention to marry, then on a whim decided to do the deed- the ‘M’ word. They got their license and met a man in a parking lot, who agreed to marry them, right there, for fifty bucks and a twelve-pack of Dr. Pepper. And then they went and played video games at a friend’s apartment. That’s amore.

13. 

    Annmarie said on 09.02.10 at 04:58 AM • [link]

    I have never had a new bed! I loved the book, and would love the prize as well.

14. 

    sweetsiouxsie said on 09.02.10 at 05:54 AM • [link]

    @ Mary PS…I love your story! If it were my choice, I would pick your story! ;-D

15. 

    Sarah said on 09.02.10 at 06:37 AM • [link]

    My friend’s husband set up a surprise hunt for their wedding bed.  Literally.  He arranged to have the bed moved out from “the honeymoon suite” and then she followed clues (with him cheering her on/enjoying the hunt with her) to some memorable spots for the two of them.  Reliving the best moments, anticipating the ones to come, etc.  Finally they arrived at the real new honeymoon suite (with bed) after some sleuthing and had a pretty normal wedding night from there on.  ;)

16. 

    Julie Parrish said on 09.02.10 at 02:37 PM • [link]

    I had a fun wedding night!!!! We stayed at a place called the Don Q Inn which has “special” rooms. The first room we had was with a huge bed and also had a brass tub that was made from a converted cheese vat. (did I mention we are in WI, the land of cheese!) The second room we had was with a king size round bed and a heart shaped jacuzzi tub. Needless to say we spent alot of time in those rooms. We have now been married over 32 yrs and that time holds fond memories for both of us

17. 

    Jen said on 09.02.10 at 03:39 PM • [link]

    We had a sweet, typical wedding night. We got to our hotel about 1 and had to explore the Hyatt suite we’d managed to get for $80 through a friend of a friend, left my dress and his tux for families to pick up the next day, then got it on, probably about every hour throughout the night, despite the fact we’d been living together for over a year. And then we got up at 5:30 or 6 to make it to the airport in time for our flight to Mexico.

18. 

    ErinW said on 09.02.10 at 03:43 PM • [link]

    Hmmm, wedding night. We honeymooned in Atlantic City, NJ… stayed in a groovy suite at the Taj Mahal. I have fond memories of the in-room jacuzzi/hot tub thing… and room service… and porn. bwahahahahaha. How’s THAT for romance???

19. 

    Sabrina said on 09.02.10 at 04:04 PM • [link]

    I’ll agree with many others and say that I hear more people who didn’t get to “get it on” on their wedding night than couples who did!

    The Hubby and I had our Wedding & Honeymoon in one in Maui - just the two of us. We stayed a day or two in the hotel before our sunset wedding on the beach and had a great morning before our nuptials, but that’s where the fun began…

    First, we had a couples massage. It was heavenly - in a tiki hut beside the water. It was just too bad that the massage was so good I apparently feel asleep - only to wake up to the sound of laughter. The hubby and the 2 massage therapists were laughing at me. Why? Because while I was asleep during the massage I started to snore and actaully had drool hanging from my mouth all the way down to the flowers flowing in a little bowl of water under my face. I’ve always said if the hubby went through with the wedding after that he must really love me!

    Next, I went to get ready for our wedding…only to discover I hadn’t packed my makeup bag with all my fantastic new makeup I had bought just for that day. (I hand’t needed makeup for the 2 days we’d spent on the beach). I was stuck buying whatever makeup I could find in the hotel lobby store. Cover Girl foundation that looked 5 years old and blue eyeshadow - yes I *rocked* blue eyeshadow for my wedding!

    After the ceremony, we had planned a private dinner on the beach as our reception. Which looked awesome, but I couldn’t eat much…because the spanks I had insisted on buying a size too small thinking that would make me suck in even more, was making me feel sick and lightheaded. Every bite I took of food made me feel that much more like a sausage!

    Needless to say, when we got back to the room and I had to tell the hubby how I was feeling all he could do was laugh. We both knew right then that there would be no sexing going on that night.

    I was just damn happy to get those spanks off and let it all hang out, wedding night or not!

    The hubby still likes to kid me about not giving him any that night - but he always does so with a smile at how memorable our whole wedding day was - how perfect even with all the craziness!

20. 

    lorenet said on 09.02.10 at 04:07 PM • [link]

    After sort-of-eloping (the only other person there besides the preacher was my college roommate), we returned home and went to bed.  To sleep, if I remember correctly.  After all it was almost 30 years ago :-)

21. 

    HistoricalRomanceJunkie Rita said on 09.02.10 at 05:07 PM • [link]

    I’d LOVE to win a new bed!!! lol. Mine has a pot hole in the middle and everytime I move in my sleep I am in danger of falling in! lol. But that second prize, the one for the whole Byrons of Braebourne series thus far is wicked. I’ve read at the duke’s pleasure and wicked delights already, but I’ve been dying to check out Cade and Jack’s stories!!!!

22. 

    Grace E. Daily said on 09.02.10 at 06:34 PM • [link]

    I don’t want to even think about my wedding night :shudder:

    Would be overjoyed with new bed!

23. 

    Hope said on 09.02.10 at 06:41 PM • [link]

    Okay, now that you all have freaked me out, and made me giggle, I am so looking forward to my wedding night in 18 days.  Unfortunately, until then, I have no awesome stories to share, mine or others.  But I still would like a chance for a new bed.

24. 

    Sarah said on 09.02.10 at 10:43 PM • [link]

    Well, we’re getting married in the spring, so I’ll tell you what I envision happening: Flying to our Caribbean honeymoon after eloping! Hopefully something spicy will happen on the plane :)

25. 

    Kim said on 09.02.10 at 10:57 PM • [link]

    About a year after our wedding, an airplane crashed into the hotel we spent our wedding night at.  (Hey, we had an early flight to catch for the honeymoon, and the hotel was right next to the airport.)

26. 

    Anne said on 09.02.10 at 10:59 PM • [link]

    My wedding night involved me and my new hubbster throwing up due to food poisoning from the restaurant we ate at after we eloped. Not fun!! I haven’t eaten shellfish since that night…

27. 

    cher m said on 09.02.10 at 11:11 PM • [link]

    We were married in the early 70’s and did not have much money.  We spent the night in a cheap motel that had a vibrating bed at a cost of a quarter for every 15 minutes.  My husband was enthused and put every quarter he had in his pocket.  We should have tried it out first, it was awful.  Loud and shook, not in a good way.  We ended up on the floor for a few hours.

28. 

    Phyllis said on 09.02.10 at 11:32 PM • [link]

    I got married in France, which sounds really fabulous. Well, it was, but we got married there because we got tired of waiting for the US government to cough up a visa for my French husband.

    There are banns there, still, a waiting period, and we got all our paperwork done and turned in and then it was a mad scramble to invite nine million of his relatives and a couple of my friends and… my mom.

    We put it all together in a hurry, because i still needed to apply for a visa. We had it in a hotel/restaurant and they had to take down their tons of World Cup (France ‘98) decorations and they put up a shitload of pink. I’m not a huge fan of pink, but hey.

    And then some friends of my husbands were going to play some jazz and DJ, so we ended up with accordion and drums and keyboard. Yeah. Jazz accordion. They were fairly good and the champagne was flowing. My mom never drinks and had about two glasses and was totally loopy, then almost dozed off. Oh, and she doesn’t speak French.

    I had joked back home in Ohio at the catering place I worked that you weren’t officially married until you did a polka and a chicken dance and next thing I knew… polka and chicken dance. In France. Who knew?

    We didn’t get to bed until 3 or 4 in the morning, at which point I discovered about 100 grains of rice stuck in my bra. There’s some sort of tradition that says the number of grains of rice you find is the number of children you’ll have. I don’t THINK so!

    By the time we got up the next morning, the restaurant was World Cup again.

    And we’ve been married, um, 12 years, I think? With 3 kids.

    And I need a new mattress ;)

29. 

    Kaye said on 09.02.10 at 11:38 PM • [link]

    We got married at a quaint Bed & Breakfast on a snowy February Friday night.  We both come from small families, so most everybody made arrangements to spend the night.  Did I say ‘most everybody’?  Did I a ‘snowy’?  Yup, the snow was lovely, the candle light romantic, but my new brother-in-law snoring from the floor of our room was not.

    That was 21 years agao, and we are sleeping on the same mattress, so this really is time to replace it

30. 

    Melissa said on 09.02.10 at 11:56 PM • [link]

    We got married at a Baptist church- that means no booze, no dancing.  And to save money, we had an afternoon wedding and served cake and hors d’oeuvres at the reception.  DH and I didn’t get to eat much aside from a bite of cake.  After we had a quickie on the hotel bathroom counter(isn’t that romantic)- all I wanted to do was wash my hair and get all those stupid bobby pins out, all he wanted to do was…. well you get the idea.  We were starving.  Thankfully there was a Jack in the Box next door- we had to hit the drive through in our painted up car.  The people in the drive through were cracking all kinds of jokes and cat calls.  We still laugh when we drive by that hotel and Jack in the Box.

31. 

    Samantha said on 09.03.10 at 12:24 AM • [link]

    My husband and I spent our wedding night in separate apartments.  We had rushed to have our wedding (I was 3 months pregnant and his mother was scandalized—she couldn’t believe her 38 year old unmarried son was doing “those things”).  His whole family was in town for his younger brother’s wedding, so we did ours the next day.  It was a Sunday and we both had to be at work the next day.  Our ceremony was small (about 30 people) in a gazebo at his apartment complex.  That evening I went back to my apartment and he went back to his.  We didn’t even spend the night under the same roof till about 2 months after we were married.  And because of back and hip problems when I was pregnant, we actually had to sleep apart most of the first 6 months of our marriage.

    And now with one kid and two dogs, all of whom think they should be sleeping in our bed, it would be nice to have something new and bigger.

32. 

    Maria Zannini said on 09.03.10 at 12:34 AM • [link]

    Honeymoon Couple Robs Bank.
    Film at eleven.

    So help me, this is the gospel truth. We drove from Chicago to Canada for our honeymoon. That’s ten hours in a little, bitty MGB. We were starving by the time we arrived, so we unloaded our luggage and promptly set out to find dinner.

    As usual, we got lost and ended up near their business district. The streets were deserted and even the new husband was ready to stop and ask for directions.

    A police car rolled past us going in the opposite direction and both cops in the car just kept pointing and staring at us. By this time Greg is watching them from the rear view mirror and he tells me, “They’re turning around.”

    Within seconds, the lights come on and they BLOCK our car. Both policemen get out of their vehicle and the older one unhitches the snap at his holster. (I’m getting a little worried now.)

    The younger one starts asking us questions. Our names. Our address. Why we’re out here on a deserted street when all the businesses are closed. Meanwhile the other one is running our plates.

    They separate us and ask the same questions all over again, then ask to search the car. We have nothing to hide, so we tell them to go ahead. Then they ask to check my purse, still asking the same questions but worded differently. My guess is they were trying to catch us in a lie.

    We kept telling them: “We are on our honeymoon.”

    Finally, after 45 minutes, the younger cop gives us back our ID and tells us we can go.

    Evidently, two people, a man and a woman in a little green sports car with US plates had just robbed the local bank. We matched the description to a tee—down to the color of our clothes.

    The only reason they let us go is because they found the robbers with the loot.

    And that was the start of our married life.

    We’ve never been back to Canada.

33. 

    Debs said on 09.03.10 at 12:37 AM • [link]

    We didn’t even sleep in a bed on our wedding night.  We were too busy driving to Canada. —Long story. 
    Our honeymoon was actually supposed to be in Mexico. —Don’t ask.
    By the time we got to a bed we slept like 12 hours or something.
    Rest of the honeymoon was awesome tho.

34. 

    Tina said on 09.03.10 at 12:47 AM • [link]

    My husband and I are unicorns, those mythical creatures who somehow found themselves technical virgins on our wedding night. (No, we’re not Amish. We met at summer camp and married young.) Needless to say, though I’ll say it anyway, he was excited and I was terrified. I had been obsessed with the idea of sex for years and then when the opportunity arrived it became clear that I had been all talk up to that point.

    We left the reception in a storm of fireworks that our friends had brought and scattered all over the gift table. It was a memorable departure, and I recall it with butterflies in my stomach. We arrived at the hotel and I was so embarrassed I could hardly walk through the lobby. “But everyone will know we’re going to go have sex!” I was horrified, which is hilarious because I am now, 16 years later, quite a public fornicator.

    The concierge led us to our room, but something was wrong. “There must be some mistake,” I said. “This is the suite portion of the hotel and we reserved a tiny room in the who-are-we-kidding wing.” Turns out my grandfather, the most sentimental practical joker of all time, had finagled the information out of my maid of honor and ordered an upgrade to the Presidential Suite. (On our 10th anniversary, after his death, we got upgraded to first class for our flight to Paris. Grandfather strikes again?)

    Steamy details aside (my MIL could read this, after all) I have to say that I was stunned by my young husband’s sensitivity and overall gentle hotness. It took some patience, let me tell you, but it was worth it for both of us. And over the years it has gone from good to insanely awesome. If only we didn’t have to sleep in separate beds due to our old mattress killing his back!

35. 

    daffiney said on 09.03.10 at 01:29 AM • [link]

    Can I tell a honeymoon story instead?

    We had a winter wedding and the second leg of our honeymoon was to rent a little gingerbreadish cottage in Lake Tahoe to go snowboarding. I was secretly dreading the snowboarding part because I didn’t want to spend my honeymoon with my underwear soaked through with ice water and being humiliatingly driven down slopes by the ski patrol (which pretty much sums up what happens whenever I snowboard). But my husband loved snowboarding and I loved him!

    To make it more bearable, I spontaneously invited our wedding party to join us. We had plenty of room in the cabin, and we hadn’t had enough time to spend with everyone during the crazy wedding daze. Half of them took us up on it and joined us at our cabin sometime in week 2.

    On the day they got there, however, I was in the throes of a horrible cold with fever, coughing, and all kinds of phlegm. Decidedly unromantic. And my new husband wasn’t much help with anything practical at that point. (He’s slightly more useful now.) Fortunately, one of my bridesmaids met us the airport with a home-cooled cassoulet, and I was SO happy to see her! Then they all (along with my new husband) went skiing while I sat back on the couch eating cassoulet and watching old Laurence Olivier movies on TV. It was exactly what I needed—although I never would have planned it in a million years! (I suspect that hubbie had more fun snowboarding with them anyways, since they weren’t half so embarrassing as me!)

    Later that night, the two of us slipped away for some ice skating under the stars while our friends kicked back and had pizza in the cabin. Because we were being very good, I spent the night sleeping in bed with my bridesmaid while all the boys slept downstairs. But all in all, it was a pretty nice day!

36. 

    Tanya said on 09.03.10 at 01:52 AM • [link]

    I’m unmarried, but every single one of my married friends has said the same thing. They drank too much and fell asleep as soon as they hit the room. Am I just friends with too many drunks?

37. 

    Suzannie said on 09.03.10 at 01:59 AM • [link]

    So first I have to explain that I was wearing a corset. Not a fashion corset but an actual honest to goodness corset, cutsom made with steel boning that gave me barbie doll proportions. It looked beautiful but I couldn’t do much except stand around with perfect posture (that includes not being able to eat, drink, dance, or sit). Despite my self inflicted taste of Victorian society, I had a wonderful time. My parents hosted an after party at their house and before we left the reception hall I had a friend of mine grab a sweatshirt from her car and then loosen my ties before I went in the batroom to change. I spent the after party in my ivory silk skirt, sequined slippers and navy university sweatshirt. As we weren’t leaving for our honeymoon for another week, we were just going back to our apartment in the city. On the way home my new husband and I were dropping off a friend and one of our out-of-town guests she was kind enough to put up. The only problem was that her boyfriend had left straight after the reception and as he had forgotten his own keys, had taken hers with the promise that he would put the phone next to his head. Unluckily enough, his cell phone died and the door bell wasn’t loud enough to wake him. I am one of those people who wait until someone is inside the door before driving away, but this night I really wished I was more inconsiderate. After waiting with the car running for several minutes, the two of them came over to the car and said they were really sorry but they were locked out and going to have to spend the night at our apartment. My response, “No, no, no. You can’t be serious. This is my wedding night.” I got out of the car and stormed around the side of her apartment building into the sour milk and urine smelling, trash filled alley and starting screaming her boyfriend’s name as loud as I was able. It was 2:30 in the morning and I didn’t care who I woke up so long as it woke him in the process. My husband came over and said it would be fine, we could go check in at the four seasons if I wanted. We walked back around to the front of the building and just as I resigned myself to house guests, a sleepy, disheveled man opened the door. We were back in the car and driving away before the door closed, glad that we didn’t have to worry about waking unwanted house guests.

38. 

    GirlyNerd said on 09.03.10 at 02:12 AM • [link]

    My wedding night was in Vegas. Five months into my pregnancy, I decided that I must get married to my longtime boyfriend. So off to Vegas we went to get married by Elvis. We got lucky and got the big, fat, blue hawaii Elvis. Sweet!
    Anyways, back to the wedding night. So being enormously pregnant at 5 months, there is not much in the way of sexy lingerie. I managed to find a babydoll with an empire waste and tried to make do. When I came out of the bathroom of our suite, my husband looked at me like I was the sexiest girl in all the world. I climbed into the biggest bed I’ve ever seen, and snuggled next to him. We were given a complementary wedding cake by Elvis, and my new husband fed me a piece of it. He didn’t mash it into my face, and I didn’t mash it into his either. It was a lovely moment we shared together, that I will always remember….
    Then we had hot, Vegas Sexx! :) HAHA!

39. 

    Vicki said on 09.03.10 at 02:39 AM • [link]

    Our wedding night turned into a farce thanks to unexpected guests at the wedding.  We were married in a small NC coastal town where my FIL lived.  Since everyone was coming in from out of town, we rented a huge beach house for my family to stay at and we planned to spend our wedding night there before leaving for Maine the next day.  We left the reception and went by to visit some family and friends who were leaving early the next day, then headed back to the house where we hoped everyone was asleep and we could sneak in with our bottle of champagne and enjoy our luxurious master suite.  Turns out that a bunch of my family that had not RSVP’d showed up at the last minute and since there were no hotels available my mom, who thought we were staying with my FIL, offered them our room.  We got back to the house and found no room at the inn.  We then hit several other places, including FIls and they were all packed with sleeping wedding guests.  DId I mention the lack of hotels in this area?  So after driving for about 30 minutes we stumbled into a tiny little no tell motel that had maybe a total of 10 rooms and a coke machine and we gratefully paid for our $30 dollar room and passed out on a mattress as hard as a rock.  The next morning as were checking out the lady found out it was our wedding night and was all a flutter about how we should have told the night clerk cause he would have given us the honeymoon suite!  Not exactly the romantic night I planned, but it made for a funny story at breakfast the next day and we managed some romance over the next 17 years, so all’s well that ends well…

40. 

    Steph said on 09.03.10 at 02:42 AM • [link]

    My wedding night was spent on the same floor of the hotel as several sports teams.  It was very romantic.  ;o)

41. 

    Nmissi said on 09.03.10 at 02:56 AM • [link]

    My wedding night was horrid, utterly and absolutely awful. I was 19 years old, my husband was 23. We were poor, and my mother had sunk every penny of her savings into HER dream wedding, not mine. My new father in law gifted us with a “wedding night” at a place called “Fantasuites.” He didn’t pick a particular room, he just paid for whatever they had available. We drove two hours up to the hotel, only to find we’d been placed in the “Indy 500” suite. Walls painted to look like a speedway, and a giant car shaped bed in the middle of the room, with a big screen tv in front of it. There was also a hot tub. Now, I’d read my bridal magazines and I knew that hot tubs weren’t really conducive to consumatory action, if you take my meaning. Clearly, my groom hadn’t read the same magazines, as he suggested a nice soak in the hot tub. I’m thinking, maybe a relaxing soak, then we’ll try for our “wedding night” in the morning when he’s not so tired. Umm, no. He came at me like a freight train in the hot tub. In the dark. Because it’s apparently not nice to make love in the bright or something. Anyway… my head started to slip under the water, and he’s just doing his thing. Doesn’t notice me slipping. At one point, even my nose went under, and I thought, “Oh, god, surely he’s almost finished.” When he finally noticed I was not thrashing about in passion, but rather, in a desperate need for oxygen, he pulled me up and began his I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, routine. Not terribly romantic. It put him off sex for that night entirely. Instead, we crawled into the big bed, and I cried myself to sleep, while he watched “Cops” on the big screen. To this day, that “Bad Boys” theme song makes me want to cry, or hurl something.

42. 

    krsylu said on 09.03.10 at 04:55 AM • [link]

    Ramada Inn outside Dulles Airport. Wedding night was our entire honeymoon.  Back home to apartment shared with two college roommates.

    20 years later (come December), marital home is shared with five roommates (ages 6 years to 19 years)!

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