Bitchin' Blog Posts
There are a lot of romance bloggers and book bloggers and I’ve met many many people since Candy and I started Ye Olde Bitchery. Among the very best of the best is KristieJ. KristieJ is amazing: she’s funny and sharp and witty and such a fan of the genre. She’s easily one of my very favorite people to visit with when we’re at conferences.
But not this year. THIS YEAR it is ON. KristieJ has called into question my ability to identify a mullet. WHA-WHA-WHAAAT?! I live in New Jersey! I grew up in Pittsburgh! When I met him, HUBBY had a mullet, albeit a curly one. I read romance novels and have amassed quite a collection of be-mulleted man-titty cover art - HOW could I not be able to truly identify a mullet?!
KristieJ is not impressed. She is from Canada, land of hockey. Her sons were athletes, and she knows from mullet, she says. She has collected a…dare we say… millieux of mullets and the gauntlet has been thrown.
So we devised a contest, and YOU must pick the winner, and more importantly, the loser.
Below the fold here and over at KristieJ’s Ramblings on Romance are a selection of mullets. The very best mullet pics we could find from our respective countries. Your job: pick whose collection of mullets reigns supreme. The wager? Whoever loses has to wear this wig at both RT AND RWA 2010 in public for at least two hours, preferably in the bar.
Oh, yes. It is ON. Mullet identification is ON THE LINE, to say nothing of national pride. It’s bigger than US Olympic Hockey, it’s bigger than anything. It is US vs. CANADA, Sarah vs. KristieJ: THE MULLET SHOWDOWN. Remember: when you pick the winner, you pick the person who Does Not Have to Wear the Mullet.
One of us is going to be mullet-champion, and the other will be be-mullet-ed. Bring it on, y’all, and help us declare Whose Mullet Collection Reigns Supreme?
I must defend the American Mullet, a hairstyle of pride and honor and bombs bursting in air.
First, a little hometown pride: Pittsburgh Penguins Mario Lemieux, and Jaromir Jagr, sporting absolutely majestic hockey mullets. WHY the Stanley Cup doesn’t have one, I couldn’t possibly tell you. but this alone demonstrates my understanding of the mullet millieux.
Now, the mullet is the unofficial haircut of New Jersey and there are plenty of examples from the fine Jersey shore. It’s a pity I don’t have a few weeks of hot weather, a camera, and some time at the beach, because I could get some live action mullet shots that would put this contest to bed in a hurry. Pity we don’t have showdowns about back hair, because there’s plenty of that, too.
But let’s move on - to neighboring Pennsylvania. John Kruk, formerly of the Philadelphia Phillies, combines that fine mullet of wavy hair with a beard:
There are few things better than a baseball mullet, really… except when that mullet is worn by a man whose name is Randy Johnson. Behold: it has style, grace, and movement! A well conditioned mullet is a beautiful thing.
Lest you doubt the state of the Randy Johnson mullet, here’s another picture of it, sans ballcap:
In other parts of the world, there’s just hockey and baseball mullets. Here in the USA, we have… MacGyver Mullets, worn by television stars and romance novel cover models alike:
The US also boasts many, many celebrity mullets, like Kevin Federline, who combined cornrows and mullets and… I really don’t quite know what to say about that.
There’s the amazing hard-rocking badass mullet… when the man who wears it is so cool, the mullet is entirely excused:
But what puts the American Mullet over the top in terms of sheer beauty is that we, here in the US of Awesome, boast the King of All Mullets, Mr. Billy Ray Cyrus.
There’s the Frost and Tip Cyrus Mullet:
And, for bonus romance action, the shirt open, chest-hair-regrowing, three-foot-long mullet of amazingness. Cyrus style is truly a US Original.
Filed: General Bitching