Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

Who’s the (Burma) Sauciest One of All?

by Candy | November 13, 2008 | Thursday at 1:00 pm | 14 Comments

When Sarah and I e-mail each other, independently and within minutes of each other, and pick exactly the same poem as our top choice for our Burma Sauce contest, you know it’s got to be good. And really, who can resist gratuitous parodies of The Eye of Argon? Not us.

So the wining entry, from Kaishai:

When Grignr wants
To bone a lass
He spills this on
Her rounded mounds of globular pale posterior flesh shining like unto two grand luminescent moons only slightly less craggy.
Burma Sauce.

Kaishai, .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) and let me know your address. The $20 giftcard should be winging its way to you soon.

Kaishai’s literary genius aside, Sarah and I voted to include these poems as strong contenders and worthy of honorary mention:

LadyRhian:
The only sauce
I dare give father
Since he began
to dom in leather
Burma Sauce

Jennie:
About those Bhrothers, oh so fine…
Steamy sex scenes – make them all mine!
Wherever their Bhlack Dhaggers go
Thoughtful Bhrothers in the khnow bring
Bhurma Shauce!

Sphinx:
His lady shied
From backdoor blisses
But who’s to blame
If his aim misses?
Burma Sauce

WryHag:
See him wink?
You get the point.
Sauce it up
And hear him oink!
Burma Sauce

Amy Lane:
If there’s burning
In your anus
A drop of sauce
Will ease the pain-us
Burma Sauce

Thanks to all of you who played along! If there were ever any doubt about the ability of the Bitchery to come up with an inordinate number of jokes about anal sex in doggerel form, well, those fears have been put to rest.